The New Intimacy

EdenKink - Types of BDSM Relationships - Wednesday, November 16th, 2011 @ 8pm ET

Skip to last post
Set alerts
Updates
Forum search
Contributor: Rayne Millaray Rayne Millaray
Quote:
Originally posted by AndroAngel
But aren't punishments you enjoy actually rewards?

I do have a question for those in Master/slave relationships and other 24/7 dynamics, though. What is your motivation? Why did you choose to give up control?
This is going to sound like a copout, but it just felt natural.

I knew of M's kinky proclivities before we got together. I knew I was kinky in the bedroom. But I insisted that was as far as it went.

Then I asked him if he minded too awfully much if I went to the bathroom one day when I had to go. Next I asked for a glass of water. Then for something to eat. What to wear. A bath. All of my own volition.

No point denying it by that point. I was owned.
11/16/2011
Contributor: aliceinthehole aliceinthehole
Quote:
Originally posted by Antipova
I've been trying to make sense of this sort of thing lately. I'm submissive, and I was definitely raised in a family where my parents showed love by giving constructive criticism (or even not-so-constructive criticism). So, to me, hearing ... more
that explains alot. thank you!
11/16/2011
Contributor: AndroAngel AndroAngel
Quote:
Originally posted by Antipova
I've been trying to make sense of this sort of thing lately. I'm submissive, and I was definitely raised in a family where my parents showed love by giving constructive criticism (or even not-so-constructive criticism). So, to me, hearing ... more
I love your description, it doesn't really apply to me in a BDSM sense, but it definitely does in a day to day sense. I feel the same about constructive criticism.
11/16/2011
Contributor: winterseve winterseve
Quote:
Originally posted by aliceinthehole
i'd like to take a moment just to thank all you involved in BDSM relationships for coming out and sharing with us! i've learned SO much just in the past hour. it's really neat to hear all your stories and i'm grateful for them.
I second that. I can't get enough. This has answered a lot of unasked questions. It also gives me more questions and a lot to look into.
11/16/2011
Contributor: Tessa Taboo Tessa Taboo
Quote:
Originally posted by aliceinthehole
i'd like to take a moment just to thank all you involved in BDSM relationships for coming out and sharing with us! i've learned SO much just in the past hour. it's really neat to hear all your stories and i'm grateful for them.
Yes! Thanks for letting aliceinthehole and I drill you with questions as we try to figure all this out! I have learned a lot as well!
11/16/2011
Contributor: Serenesub Serenesub
Quote:
Originally posted by aliceinthehole
i'd like to take a moment just to thank all you involved in BDSM relationships for coming out and sharing with us! i've learned SO much just in the past hour. it's really neat to hear all your stories and i'm grateful for them.
Thanks for your questions! Haven't heard many people willing to ask questions like this! It's actually fun!
11/16/2011
Contributor: aliceinthehole aliceinthehole
Quote:
Originally posted by Antipova
I tend to be submissive to just about everybody. I wrote my office mate's Master's Thesis before I wrote my own. (He wasn't from an English-speaking country, and I felt bad that he had to hunt-and-peck type). But I totally got like 3 ... more
damn! thats dedication. i'm a defiant little twit. i dont think i'd ever do something like that.


i'm starting to think my dom side is showing itself...
11/16/2011
Contributor: Noira Noira
Quote:
Originally posted by Rayne Millaray
This is going to sound like a copout, but it just felt natural.

I knew of M's kinky proclivities before we got together. I knew I was kinky in the bedroom. But I insisted that was as far as it went.

Then I asked him if he minded ... more
That's not a cop-out. Some people naturally fall into it. Other people learn the words, learn the motions, learn the actions and then discover they like it like they learn to paint... only with a human canvas, pain as paint, control the ink that makes the lines...

Neither is wrong.
11/16/2011
Contributor: Serenesub Serenesub
Quote:
Originally posted by aliceinthehole
damn! thats dedication. i'm a defiant little twit. i dont think i'd ever do something like that.


i'm starting to think my dom side is showing itself...
Defiant little twits are sometimes the most fun *rubs bruised ass* Or so I'm told
11/16/2011
Contributor: Tessa Taboo Tessa Taboo
Quote:
Originally posted by Rayne Millaray
This is going to sound like a copout, but it just felt natural.

I knew of M's kinky proclivities before we got together. I knew I was kinky in the bedroom. But I insisted that was as far as it went.

Then I asked him if he minded ... more
Jeez.... maybe I'm a little more dominant than I thought. If I asked my husband if I could have a glass of water, instead of saying "Will you GET me a glass of water?" he'd think I was off my rocker....lol.
11/16/2011
Contributor: aliceinthehole aliceinthehole
Quote:
Originally posted by Rayne Millaray
This is going to sound like a copout, but it just felt natural.

I knew of M's kinky proclivities before we got together. I knew I was kinky in the bedroom. But I insisted that was as far as it went.

Then I asked him if he minded ... more
then again... as far as asking if you can take a shower or a bath or go to the bathroom.. i still ask my boyfriend those things, when i'm in his house. it's being polite, i think.



maybe i'm not really even dominant or submissive. just a little bit of everything.
11/16/2011
Contributor: Kitka Kitka
Wooooooo! I fixed me mouse!
11/16/2011
Contributor: seaofneptune seaofneptune
Quote:
Originally posted by Serenesub
Defiant little twits are sometimes the most fun *rubs bruised ass* Or so I'm told
Ha ha, I was rubbing mine for that reason earlier!
11/16/2011
Contributor: aliceinthehole aliceinthehole
Quote:
Originally posted by Serenesub
Defiant little twits are sometimes the most fun *rubs bruised ass* Or so I'm told
11/16/2011
Contributor: AndroAngel AndroAngel
Quote:
Originally posted by Rayne Millaray
This is going to sound like a copout, but it just felt natural.

I knew of M's kinky proclivities before we got together. I knew I was kinky in the bedroom. But I insisted that was as far as it went.

Then I asked him if he minded ... more
That actually sounds surprisingly comfortable. I don't really think it's something for me, but I can see how comfortable it could be.
11/16/2011
Contributor: Antipova Antipova
Quote:
Originally posted by aliceinthehole
damn! thats dedication. i'm a defiant little twit. i dont think i'd ever do something like that.


i'm starting to think my dom side is showing itself...
Hehehe! I can be defiant when necessary too... I definitely defy most authority that hasn't got any reason behind it, and climb big sculptures, and poke my nose in places it doesn't strictly belong, and stand up against by-laws. But I like to make people happy more often than not. And the people I respect and care about don't give me rules/commands/suggest ions that don't have a purpose.
11/16/2011
Contributor: Tessa Taboo Tessa Taboo
Quote:
Originally posted by AndroAngel
That actually sounds surprisingly comfortable. I don't really think it's something for me, but I can see how comfortable it could be.
Yeah, that makes it a lot easier for me to understand as a 'lifestyle' and not just a sex thing like we were talking about earlier.
11/16/2011
Contributor: aliceinthehole aliceinthehole
Quote:
Originally posted by Antipova
Hehehe! I can be defiant when necessary too... I definitely defy most authority that hasn't got any reason behind it, and climb big sculptures, and poke my nose in places it doesn't strictly belong, and stand up against by-laws. But I like to ... more
well said. i agree.
11/16/2011
Contributor: aliceinthehole aliceinthehole
dammit, all this sex talk has me needing to masturbate. but im at work...
11/16/2011
Contributor: Kitka Kitka
Quote:
Originally posted by aliceinthehole
dammit, all this sex talk has me needing to masturbate. but im at work...
Sneak off to the bathroom?
11/16/2011
Contributor: Tessa Taboo Tessa Taboo
Quote:
Originally posted by aliceinthehole
dammit, all this sex talk has me needing to masturbate. but im at work...
Put the term 'discrete' in the search box, and find a way to take care of that!
11/16/2011
Contributor: Rayne Millaray Rayne Millaray
Quote:
Originally posted by aliceinthehole
dammit, all this sex talk has me needing to masturbate. but im at work...
Lol I was just thinking between this convo, and M teasing me incessantly...
11/16/2011
Contributor: AndroAngel AndroAngel
Okay, I have another question for the 24/7 people: Do you get a safe-word? Is there some kind of "out" in your relationship, or a time-out feature built in in case you need to talk as equals?

And another question, are there any petplay or Daddy/littles left in the room?
11/16/2011
Contributor: Starkiller87 Starkiller87
Quote:
Originally posted by aliceinthehole
dammit, all this sex talk has me needing to masturbate. but im at work...
hahaha I remember that feeling
11/16/2011
Contributor: Serenesub Serenesub
Quote:
Originally posted by Rayne Millaray
Lol I was just thinking between this convo, and M teasing me incessantly...
So uhm... is this what we all do after these meetings because I was eying my hitachi
11/16/2011
Contributor: aliceinthehole aliceinthehole
Quote:
Originally posted by Kitka
Sneak off to the bathroom?
there ya go! but i tell you. i'm the kind who needs a marathon to get off. i'd need an hour lunch break, a bed, and my hitachi. sigh.
11/16/2011
Contributor: aliceinthehole aliceinthehole
Quote:
Originally posted by Serenesub
So uhm... is this what we all do after these meetings because I was eying my hitachi
lmao!!! i was hoping nobody would be thinking... 'god what a creep!'
11/16/2011
Contributor: Tessa Taboo Tessa Taboo
Is anyone in here dominant? Or are all of those that are in the lifestyle that are here, submissive?
11/16/2011
Contributor: AndroAngel AndroAngel
Quote:
Originally posted by aliceinthehole
there ya go! but i tell you. i'm the kind who needs a marathon to get off. i'd need an hour lunch break, a bed, and my hitachi. sigh.
You and me both. Darn the hour-marathons.
11/16/2011
Contributor: winterseve winterseve
Quote:
Originally posted by Serenesub
So uhm... is this what we all do after these meetings because I was eying my hitachi
maybe....*wink*
11/16/2011