EdenKink - Types of BDSM Relationships - Wednesday, November 16th, 2011 @ 8pm ET

Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
Ahh crap, my laptop is about to die. I had a great time lurking on the posts, and thank you Rayne for being an awesome hostess!
11/16/2011
Contributor: Kitka Kitka
Quote:
Originally posted by Rayne Millaray
You guys are being really awesome tonight. I'm having a blast. We're already over 300 posts!

Your answers have been great thus far. I agree with most of you completely!

Let's move on to the master/slave dynamic. This type ... more
This to me is total power exchange, which works for some people. I don't think I could give up control all the time, besides, I like to Top sometimes myself with Daddy's supervision.
11/16/2011
Contributor: Dusk Dusk
Quote:
Originally posted by aliceinthehole
good question~! i mean.. other than FetLife, how does one become involved with something like this? or someone who is into it?
Are you wondering about getting involved with your current partner or in the larger community? There are so many ways
11/16/2011
Contributor: aliceinthehole aliceinthehole
Quote:
Originally posted by Tessa Taboo
Arick is not NEARLY as kinky outside of the bedroom as I am. That would take a lot of working on. Which, as his mentor, you know... you could mention things...LOL.
lmao. i'll see what i can do.
11/16/2011
Contributor: Serenesub Serenesub
Quote:
Originally posted by Rayne Millaray
You guys are being really awesome tonight. I'm having a blast. We're already over 300 posts!

Your answers have been great thus far. I agree with most of you completely!

Let's move on to the master/slave dynamic. This type ... more
Closest to mine It's total possession. For me I started to lose little bits of myself somewhere along the way. You don't have as many or any options that a sub would because you are a slave.. you're owned. Some people see being owned as the same as being a toaster to their owner.. they're a possession. I don't function that way but again.. we differ from the norm
11/16/2011
Contributor: Tessa Taboo Tessa Taboo
Quote:
Originally posted by aliceinthehole
lmao. i'll see what i can do.
Haha! Thanks!
11/16/2011
Contributor: aliceinthehole aliceinthehole
Quote:
Originally posted by Rayne Millaray
Generally speaking, people we know go through a test. We start by telling them what I do for a living. Then we discuss the fact that I have an adult blog, which got me my job. And then we slowly "let slip" the types of toys I've ... more
what CSI episode, no?
11/16/2011
Contributor: AndroAngel AndroAngel
To add to what everyone's already said, it isn't necessary to be strictly Dominant or Submissive, I'm a Switch, I do both.
11/16/2011
Contributor: Serenesub Serenesub
Quote:
Originally posted by aliceinthehole
good question~! i mean.. other than FetLife, how does one become involved with something like this? or someone who is into it?
Honestly? Ask them how they feel about it. MY owner and I didn't know the other was into it until I made a comment one night and he giggled because he figured it out
11/16/2011
Contributor: Rayne Millaray Rayne Millaray
Quote:
Originally posted by aliceinthehole
good question~! i mean.. other than FetLife, how does one become involved with something like this? or someone who is into it?
There are munches and such, which are usually normal meetings in semi-private areas. Sometimes over food, hence the name "munch". A lot of them list their info on FetLife, so search for towns near you. Others are super secret and you have to know someone, but normally you can meet them at the ones listed on FetLife.

However, please, Please, PLEASE be safe about meeting people in real life. Always in groups. Tell someone where you're going. Set up a safe call if it will make you feel better.

It's not stupid to be safe.
11/16/2011
Contributor: Tessa Taboo Tessa Taboo
Quote:
Originally posted by Serenesub
Closest to mine It's total possession. For me I started to lose little bits of myself somewhere along the way. You don't have as many or any options that a sub would because you are a slave.. you're owned. Some people see being owned as ... more
As someone who is 'owned', what does that generally mean in terms of your day to day life, and having certain freedoms?
11/16/2011
Contributor: Noira Noira
Quote:
Originally posted by Rayne Millaray
You guys are being really awesome tonight. I'm having a blast. We're already over 300 posts!

Your answers have been great thus far. I agree with most of you completely!

Let's move on to the master/slave dynamic. This type ... more
Intense! In my opinion slaves consent to give up their consent. It's a lifestyle, not a mindset, and not just kink.

No wall of text for this one, that's just what it looks like to me and amazingly it can be summed up to just that sentence where the other dynamics needed more. They need a lot of pre-discussion to work out, I think, and a lot, LOT of trust and I cringe when people post about jumping off to go be someone's slave after knowing them for a month online. Master/slave relationships need an intimate faith in your partner... on both sides of the scale.
11/16/2011
Contributor: Kitka Kitka
Quote:
Originally posted by AndroAngel
To add to what everyone's already said, it isn't necessary to be strictly Dominant or Submissive, I'm a Switch, I do both.
I'm strictly submissive but have the ability to occasionally dominate someone, but I feel it doesn't make me a switch. Just a sub who can Top on occasion.

Thanks for bringing that word up, I had almost forgotten it lol.
11/16/2011
Contributor: Rayne Millaray Rayne Millaray
Quote:
Originally posted by Jul!a
Ahh crap, my laptop is about to die. I had a great time lurking on the posts, and thank you Rayne for being an awesome hostess!
See ya, Sam. Have a great night!
11/16/2011
Contributor: Serenesub Serenesub
Quote:
Originally posted by Kitka
This to me is total power exchange, which works for some people. I don't think I could give up control all the time, besides, I like to Top sometimes myself with Daddy's supervision.
I still top others from time to time and I'm in the TPE relationship.. mostly. I still get an opinion.. he just sometimes "forgets" to include it in the decision making
11/16/2011
Contributor: Taylor Taylor
Quote:
Originally posted by aliceinthehole
good question~! i mean.. other than FetLife, how does one become involved with something like this? or someone who is into it?
I've wondered this myself. I've asked my Dom about this because he got into it before a lot of those sites were up and he said you just had to know the right people. I know I probably would have never found it without Fetlife honestly.
11/16/2011
Contributor: aliceinthehole aliceinthehole
Quote:
Originally posted by Jobthingy
I know.. it's his hair. But I cant stop. I hate admitting it.. but... *whispers* I even PVR it.
it IS the hair. pics of him when he was young... damn he was hot! i have no idea what happened.


ugh, and the look on his face toward a wife when she's expressing feelings of concern or working through jealousy.. he just stares at her with that uber concerned furrowed brow and doesnt flinch. it seems like its all for the camera.
11/16/2011
Contributor: Rayne Millaray Rayne Millaray
Quote:
Originally posted by aliceinthehole
what CSI episode, no?
There are so many!
11/16/2011
Contributor: Serenesub Serenesub
Quote:
Originally posted by Noira
Intense! In my opinion slaves consent to give up their consent. It's a lifestyle, not a mindset, and not just kink.

No wall of text for this one, that's just what it looks like to me and amazingly it can be summed up to just that ... more
So agree! I've known my owner for 5 years and it's still not the easiest thing.
11/16/2011
Contributor: Noira Noira
I don't think all slaves are "just possessions" because I've seen more than one side of the scale for master/slave too. It's srs business power exchange.
11/16/2011
Contributor: Kitka Kitka
Quote:
Originally posted by Serenesub
I still top others from time to time and I'm in the TPE relationship.. mostly. I still get an opinion.. he just sometimes "forgets" to include it in the decision making
Ah that's cool. I wasn't saying it was that way for everyone, just personally
11/16/2011
Contributor: Dusk Dusk
Quote:
Originally posted by Rayne Millaray
There are so many!
I loved all of those CSI episodes because it was my chance to see my parents' reaction to kink portrayed in the media.
11/16/2011
Contributor: Rayne Millaray Rayne Millaray
Quote:
Originally posted by Noira
Intense! In my opinion slaves consent to give up their consent. It's a lifestyle, not a mindset, and not just kink.

No wall of text for this one, that's just what it looks like to me and amazingly it can be summed up to just that ... more
Lol. I've enjoyed your walls of text. They've been pretty on the level.
11/16/2011
Contributor: Vanille Vanille
Late, but I'm here.

I'm a submissive in a D/s petplay relationship. My girlfriend is my Master and I'm her kitten. I wear ears, tail, collars...and pretty much act cat-like 24/7. However though, when it comes to eating/sleeping I still retain my human characteristics there. (as in I sleep in a normal bed and eat off a human plate with untensils at a table.)
11/16/2011
Contributor: aliceinthehole aliceinthehole
Quote:
Originally posted by Rayne Millaray
You guys are being really awesome tonight. I'm having a blast. We're already over 300 posts!

Your answers have been great thus far. I agree with most of you completely!

Let's move on to the master/slave dynamic. This type ... more
i just watched 'forbidden latex', the DVD offered on EF, and it looks to me like a slave is someone who enjoys pain, humiliation possibly, restraint, and the master 'forces' them into orgasm, or out of orgasm, or withholds orgasm from them, during sexual play.

the slave can also just do whatever the master wants them to. they submit completely to the master. the master is like god.
11/16/2011
Contributor: AndroAngel AndroAngel
Quote:
Originally posted by Kitka
I'm strictly submissive but have the ability to occasionally dominate someone, but I feel it doesn't make me a switch. Just a sub who can Top on occasion.

Thanks for bringing that word up, I had almost forgotten it lol.
Ya, that's true, but then, a Sub can also be a top, since the top is just the one "doing" onto someone else. I've topped my lover under his command.
11/16/2011
Contributor: Noira Noira
Quote:
Originally posted by Jul!a
Ahh crap, my laptop is about to die. I had a great time lurking on the posts, and thank you Rayne for being an awesome hostess!
Find an outlet! QUICK! (I seriously hunt for outlets in coffee shops and restautants even if I don't have my laptop.)

Thanks for joining us!
11/16/2011
Contributor: Serenesub Serenesub
Quote:
Originally posted by Tessa Taboo
As someone who is 'owned', what does that generally mean in terms of your day to day life, and having certain freedoms?
serenesub@hotmail.ca ... send me an email there and I'll answer that for you. It'll take a bit to sort out and I'll totally miss the rest of the meeting. But send me an email and I'll totally answer you and any other questions you have!
11/16/2011
Contributor: Kynky Kytty Kynky Kytty
I'm off, was fun talking to you guys. Good evening!
11/16/2011
Contributor: seaofneptune seaofneptune
Quote:
Originally posted by Noira
If you want to be the dominant you still have to ask him how he feels about it! Don't just tie him up and say 'HAH!'

Don't just make the M/f assumption. Lots of men harbor submissive fantasies and just don't know how to ... more
That's true, every once in a while my partner wants the ability to be the submissive. He isn't as interested in being on the receiving end of a paddle or a cane - but he likes the other aspects of submitting. I'm not as comfortable being in the dominant role because it makes me feel awkward but I still enjoy doing it from time to time.
11/16/2011