The New Intimacy

Eden Kink - Basics of BDSM Discussion February 16th at 8 PM EST

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Contributor: Sysiphe Sysiphe
Misconceptions in BDSM: adore you, VC, but I completely disagree with your definitions of rolls

I would suggest:

dominant: someone who enjoys exerting control/taking control in a scene

submissive: someone who enjoys relinquishing control in a scene

top: the "do-er" in a scene

bottom: the being-done-to in a scene

For example: I often play the bottom to my partner (he'll beat me, put staples in me, etc...) But I never submit. I fight back, I tell him where to pierce me, I growl and scream and grab him to kiss him.
02/16/2011
Contributor: UrNaughtyaAngel UrNaughtyaAngel
Quote:
Originally posted by VieuxCarre
I realized I was kinky when I was five and watching Aladdin. I didn't know that there was a name for it when I was that young, but I got these butterflies when I watched Aladdin and Jafar made Jasmine his slave.

I was sixteen when I ... more
Wow that young. So is Gimla your first Sir? you said you were beating two men when you met him?
02/16/2011
Contributor: VieuxCarre VieuxCarre
Misconceptions in BDSM
Boundaries
Implements
Gear
Clothing

Come on guys!
02/16/2011
Contributor: ~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
Quote:
Originally posted by VieuxCarre
We've got a topic suggestion for Misconceptions in BDSM. What are some other topics you all would like to discuss in the future?
I'm curious about the culture and BDSM as a lifestyle, 24/7, full time deal. What it takes to be considered "legit"...if there are rules within the BDSM community about those sorts of things.
02/16/2011
Contributor: Gimla Gimla
Quote:
Originally posted by BBW Talks Toys
Boundaries.

IMPLEMENTS!!!

Gear.

Clothing.
VC can tell you ALLLLLLL about gear!
02/16/2011
Contributor: VieuxCarre VieuxCarre
Quote:
Originally posted by Sysiphe
Misconceptions in BDSM: adore you, VC, but I completely disagree with your definitions of rolls

I would suggest:

dominant: someone who enjoys exerting control/taking control in a scene

submissive: someone who enjoys ... more
I had no idea you were here And thank you for expanding on my definitions. You confirmed my statements that there isn't one way of doing it or defining it
02/16/2011
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by VieuxCarre
Misconceptions in BDSM
Boundaries
Implements
Gear
Clothing

Come on guys!
Unfortunately I'm a little clueless still, but the list you have so far looks pretty good.
02/16/2011
Contributor: VieuxCarre VieuxCarre
Quote:
Originally posted by Gimla
VC can tell you ALLLLLLL about gear!
The roses flogger feels like I'm getting punched in the ass. Seriously.
02/16/2011
Contributor: danellejohns danellejohns
Maybe definitions since it seems people view it differently?
02/16/2011
Contributor: BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Quote:
Originally posted by VieuxCarre
The roses flogger feels like I'm getting punched in the ass. Seriously.
WISHLISTED
02/16/2011
Contributor: VieuxCarre VieuxCarre
Quote:
Originally posted by UrNaughtyaAngel
Wow that young. So is Gimla your first Sir? you said you were beating two men when you met him?
He's my first real Sir. I've had partners in the past that have claimed to be "dominants" but really they just wanted kinky sex
02/16/2011
Contributor: Nullmoniker Nullmoniker
Quote:
Originally posted by ~LaUr3n~
I'm curious about the culture and BDSM as a lifestyle, 24/7, full time deal. What it takes to be considered "legit"...if there are rules within the BDSM community about those sorts of things.
As long as you are your partner(s) are happy, what ever you do is "legit". There is no one true way.
02/16/2011
Contributor: VieuxCarre VieuxCarre
Quote:
Originally posted by Jul!a
Unfortunately I'm a little clueless still, but the list you have so far looks pretty good.
Is there anything you would want to know more about in particular?
02/16/2011
Contributor: VieuxCarre VieuxCarre
Quote:
Originally posted by Nullmoniker
As long as you are your partner(s) are happy, what ever you do is "legit". There is no one true way.
You're here too. It's like I died and went to kinky heaven! Welcome
02/16/2011
Contributor: UrNaughtyaAngel UrNaughtyaAngel
Quote:
Originally posted by ID42
There is plenty of role play and definite acts of control in the bedroom, just nowhere else.
had you talked to him about BDSM? does he know that it can be a lifestyle? I just learned that tonight and I am sure so did many others. I suggest that either you educate yourself more on the matter of the two of you look into it maybe upon him reading he will realized he wants to take it outside of the bedroom or ask you if yo want to. Or maybe you will feel comfortable telling him you want to live the lifestyle.

You being here tonight is a big step in learning more about BDSM so you are already taking steps to the lifestyle.
02/16/2011
Contributor: VieuxCarre VieuxCarre
Quote:
Originally posted by VieuxCarre
Misconceptions in BDSM
Boundaries
Implements
Gear
Clothing

Come on guys!
Also add to that: the culture and BDSM as a lifestyle, 24/7, full time deal. What it takes to be considered "legit"...if there are rules within the BDSM community about those sorts of things
02/16/2011
Contributor: ~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
Quote:
Originally posted by Nullmoniker
As long as you are your partner(s) are happy, what ever you do is "legit". There is no one true way.
Perhaps I did not explain my meaning specifically enough.
02/16/2011
Contributor: Sysiphe Sysiphe
Quote:
Originally posted by ~LaUr3n~
I'm curious about the culture and BDSM as a lifestyle, 24/7, full time deal. What it takes to be considered "legit"...if there are rules within the BDSM community about those sorts of things.
I think all it takes to be considered "legit" in the BDSM scene is to show up to a few events and not be a jackwagon

My partner and I travel about the country teaching classes on kink, and we're also known for some pretty hard (intense/risky/violent ) scene, but we don't have a 24/7 power exchange in our relationship.

You do it your way; if it works for you and your partner(/s), it's legit (and awesome).
02/16/2011
Contributor: Nullmoniker Nullmoniker
Quote:
Originally posted by VieuxCarre
You're here too. It's like I died and went to kinky heaven! Welcome
Thanks, babe.
02/16/2011
Contributor: Persephone Nightmare Persephone Nightmare
I'm here!!!
02/16/2011
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by VieuxCarre
Is there anything you would want to know more about in particular?
I can't think of anything specifically. Looking over your list again and again really just looks like the basics of anything I could have asked.

I'm taking a slow approach to learning here. Just sort of absorbing as it all comes in, if that makes sense.
02/16/2011
Contributor: VieuxCarre VieuxCarre
Quote:
Originally posted by Sysiphe
I think all it takes to be considered "legit" in the BDSM scene is to show up to a few events and not be a jackwagon

My partner and I travel about the country teaching classes on kink, and we're also known for some pretty hard ... more
You and nullmoniker? Rough/intense/risky/vi olent scenes? No. Not you two.

On a side note, Sysiphe and Nullmoniker have both pummeled and punched me into a puddle of goo...but we'll talk different kinds of play in the future
02/16/2011
Contributor: VieuxCarre VieuxCarre
Quote:
Originally posted by Persephone Nightmare
I'm here!!!
Welcome honey! Glad you could make it!
02/16/2011
Contributor: VieuxCarre VieuxCarre
Quote:
Originally posted by Jul!a
I can't think of anything specifically. Looking over your list again and again really just looks like the basics of anything I could have asked.

I'm taking a slow approach to learning here. Just sort of absorbing as it all comes ... more
Absolutely, and you know you can always send me questions you may have privately.
02/16/2011
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by Persephone Nightmare
I'm here!!!
Glad to see you around again!!
02/16/2011
Contributor: Sysiphe Sysiphe
Quote:
Originally posted by VieuxCarre
I had no idea you were here And thank you for expanding on my definitions. You confirmed my statements that there isn't one way of doing it or defining it
You Twittered six jillion times. You don't think I'd check out something that seems important to you?

(Until you come to hate me being here - I'm anti-"lifetsyle," pro-"scene"
02/16/2011
Contributor: ValuptuousVirgo ValuptuousVirgo
Quote:
Originally posted by Jul!a
I can't think of anything specifically. Looking over your list again and again really just looks like the basics of anything I could have asked.

I'm taking a slow approach to learning here. Just sort of absorbing as it all comes ... more
I'm with you...I was in the convo, and then it went over my head
02/16/2011
Contributor: ~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
Quote:
Originally posted by Sysiphe
I think all it takes to be considered "legit" in the BDSM scene is to show up to a few events and not be a jackwagon

My partner and I travel about the country teaching classes on kink, and we're also known for some pretty hard ... more
I'm imagining that there are people who don't feel the same though?
02/16/2011
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by VieuxCarre
Absolutely, and you know you can always send me questions you may have privately.
I may have to take you up on that, thank you
02/16/2011
Contributor: Persephone Nightmare Persephone Nightmare
Quote:
Originally posted by VieuxCarre
Welcome honey! Glad you could make it!
Thanks Me too
02/16/2011