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Do you think it's weird for a virgin to have her first penetration by a toy?

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Contributor: marrythenight marrythenight
The reason I'm asking is because I was talking to some girlfriends about toys not too long ago, and they do know I'm a virgin, and I did say that I got an actual vibe recently (the bcurious bgood--it's still sitting in my closet in its box, unopened) and one of them said, "I would never lose my virginity to a sex toy!" Which of course started a conversation about what defines virginity, etc, but it's kind of stuck with me.

It's kind of an odd question, but do you think it'd be better to save first penetration for the "real deal", or just go for it with a toy? And would you even consider that loss of virginity?
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Total votes: 600 (350 voters)
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06/24/2012
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Contributor: GingerAnn GingerAnn
Useful topic breakdown on Penetration:

What is your pre-anal ritual.
What do you do to get your ass ready for penetration> Do you or your partner finger it, toung it, use toys?

Get right into the details here.

Long or short sex?
After the forplay..when you get to actual penetration..how long does it last for you and your partner?

Have you ever experienced triple penetration?
girls, i'm sure it's doubtful, but have any of you ever experienced triple penetration (oral anal and vaginal, at once)? what was it like?

Anal Plugs
My girlfriend wants to start experimenting with anal penetration, but everytime I try it seems to hurt her a lot, I heard anal plugs is the best for...

Penetration: anal vs vaginal
Women: How would you describe the difference between anal and vaginal penetration.
06/24/2012
Contributor: solitudinarian solitudinarian
It's how I did it! It made me a lot less worried about my first time and better prepared for it.
06/24/2012
Contributor: Vanille Vanille
IMO, you're still a virgin until you bring another person (or persons) into the (consensual!) sexcapade, using a toy doesn't invalidate your virginity.
06/24/2012
Contributor: WhoopieDoo WhoopieDoo
I WISH I had used a toy on myself first....my first time was very very painful.
06/24/2012
Contributor: spineyogurt spineyogurt
Nah
06/24/2012
Contributor: indiglo indiglo
It's not weird at all. Enjoy your body however YOU want to. There's nothing wrong with using a toy, especially if you have one and you want to do it.

You only lose your virginity when YOU say you do. Masturbating hardly counts, or there would be NO male virgins. lol
06/24/2012
Contributor: toxie m toxie m
Quote:
Originally posted by indiglo
It's not weird at all. Enjoy your body however YOU want to. There's nothing wrong with using a toy, especially if you have one and you want to do it.

You only lose your virginity when YOU say you do. Masturbating hardly counts, or ... more
True say.

I don't think it's weird at all, nor do I think it counts as a loss of virginity. Go for it! There's no reason to wait around - the only "real thing" is pleasure and having fun, whether you it's alone or with a partner.
06/24/2012
Contributor: ichwillwaffels ichwillwaffels
Quote:
Originally posted by marrythenight
The reason I'm asking is because I was talking to some girlfriends about toys not too long ago, and they do know I'm a virgin, and I did say that I got an actual vibe recently (the bcurious bgood--it's still sitting in my closet in its ... more
Just cause boys masturbate with their hands doesn't mean they aren't virgins. I found that using toys before I actually had sex made the real experience more pleasant. My friends told me stories of it being painful and messy and my first time was very pleasurable and I didn't have the mess to gross me out and ruin the mood.
06/24/2012
Contributor: bayosgirl bayosgirl
Nothing wrong with it. I was penetrated by a toy before I had a penis, and it allowed my hymen to stretch so that actual sex didn't hurt or make me bleed. Besides, it's my body and I'm entitled to pleasure with or without a man.
06/25/2012
Contributor: Girly Juice Girly Juice
Not weird at all. Virginity is a mental/emotional thing, not a physical one. And it's actually way better to "practice" plenty before you have sex, because that way, you'll know what you like and what to ask for.
06/25/2012
Contributor: meezerosity meezerosity
It's not weird at all and it isn't losing your virginity if you are doing it on your own. Once you experience sex with another person is when you are no longer a virgin. If you aren't ready for that, explore yourself and learn what you like. It will make your first partnered experience much more pleasurable.
06/25/2012
Contributor: quinceykay quinceykay
Just because you may break your hymen doesn't mean you're not a virgin anymore. Using a toy alone is masturbation, and masturbation doesn't count as losing your virginity.
06/25/2012
Contributor: MaeGal MaeGal
It's masturbation, not losing your virginity.
To me, there needs to be another person there to make it losing your virginity.
06/25/2012
Contributor: Zombirella Zombirella
It isn't weird at all and I don't consider using toys as losing your virginity. Don't worry about what anyone else says or thinks!
06/25/2012
Contributor: mistressg mistressg
I wouldn't consider it losing your virginity, and I don't think it's weird at all. In fact, I would image it's fairly common.
06/25/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by marrythenight
The reason I'm asking is because I was talking to some girlfriends about toys not too long ago, and they do know I'm a virgin, and I did say that I got an actual vibe recently (the bcurious bgood--it's still sitting in my closet in its ... more
It would not be weird to me nor would I consider it to be a loss of virginity. You lose your virginity the first time you have sex willingly and with full consent. I don't place much of a premium on a little bit of skin between the legs...
06/25/2012
Contributor: HarlequinBunnie HarlequinBunnie
Quote:
Originally posted by marrythenight
The reason I'm asking is because I was talking to some girlfriends about toys not too long ago, and they do know I'm a virgin, and I did say that I got an actual vibe recently (the bcurious bgood--it's still sitting in my closet in its ... more
Once the hymen is torn all the way you are not a virgin. The definition of virginity for girls is an intact hymen. And for you thinking to loose it to a toy well I'm sorry I feel it's wrong. There are men out there who will pay big bucks for a virgin. A while back a girl sold her virginity to a man for enough money to pay for her college tuition all the way up to a masters degree. What you do with your life is up to you and you are the one who has to live with the choices you make. I have always felt strongly about certain subjects and this is one of them.

I'm sorry if this comes off harshly I don't mean it too. I lost mine in an awful way so please forgive me for imposing my hang ups on you. Good luck to you and best wishes.
06/25/2012
Contributor: Gone (LD29) Gone (LD29)
My view is that you're a virgin until you have sex with another person. Masturbating with or without a toy has nothing to do with your virginity. Just do what feels right to you, when you want to do it.
06/25/2012
Contributor: Gone (LD29) Gone (LD29)
Quote:
Originally posted by HarlequinBunnie
Once the hymen is torn all the way you are not a virgin. The definition of virginity for girls is an intact hymen. And for you thinking to loose it to a toy well I'm sorry I feel it's wrong. There are men out there who will pay big bucks for ... more
HarlequinBunnie, I am one of those women who doesn't remember ever having a hymen. I don't recall it breaking or stretching or otherwise being there at all in my life. If I did have one, it was certainly long gone prior to having sex, or even before I ever started masturbating. Are you saying I was never a virgin, even as a child?
06/25/2012
Contributor: mariedoll mariedoll
Quote:
Originally posted by indiglo
It's not weird at all. Enjoy your body however YOU want to. There's nothing wrong with using a toy, especially if you have one and you want to do it.

You only lose your virginity when YOU say you do. Masturbating hardly counts, or ... more
Your last sentence made me do a spit take followed by many laughs.
06/25/2012
Contributor: mariedoll mariedoll
And I wouldn't consider it losing your virginity at all. Would you consider shoving a tampon up your vagina losing your v-card?
06/25/2012
Contributor: Arch600 Arch600
I agree, you're a virgin until you're with another person. If not toys, girls have experimented with repurposed items found around the house since the dawn of time. I think it's normal, not weird. Toys are simply a safer choice for satisfying human curiosity (and other urges ).

Another benefit of using toys is you won't feel as much pressure to perhaps lose your virginity before you're ready. After all, the urge that caused you to buy a toy will still be there if the toy stays in your closet. And, as so many others have said, you'll be experienced, have an understanding of your body, and own your pleasure when you do decide it's time.
06/25/2012
Contributor: Arch600 Arch600
Quote:
Originally posted by HarlequinBunnie
Once the hymen is torn all the way you are not a virgin. The definition of virginity for girls is an intact hymen. And for you thinking to loose it to a toy well I'm sorry I feel it's wrong. There are men out there who will pay big bucks for ... more
It sounds like you had a terrible experience. I am truly sorry.

I have to respectfully disagree that having an intact hymen is the definition of a female virgin. Very young girls have broken their hymens riding horses and bicycles, doing gymnastics, and a host of many other things all kids do every day. It is quite common for virgin girls to have lost their hymen long before they become sexually active.

virgin[ vur-jin ]
noun
1. a person who has never had sexual intercourse.
2. an unmarried girl or woman.
3. an unmarried, religious woman, especially a saint.

However, you do make a very good point. The emotional and psychological aspect shouldn't be minimalized. While some may not feel it was a big deal for them, others may have regrets afterward - same as if it had been with a guy. Before going ahead, it would be a good idea to think about how you might feel when it's done and be certain you'll be completely at ease with it beforehand.
06/25/2012
Contributor: Kitten has left the site Kitten has left the site
I don't think it's weird at all, I have a friend right now who may use a dildo for her first time.

I think your virginity is gone ONLY if you have sex the first time. With someone, not a toy. That's my definition of it.
06/25/2012
Contributor: ksparkles16 ksparkles16
If anything, I think it's a great idea for yourself to get accustomed to size before having a man penetrate you. It will make the experience much more enjoyable because you won't be in as much pain.
06/25/2012
Contributor: Ryuson Ryuson
(Review Program Mentor)
Being a virgin is ENTIRELY mental. There are people born with large hymens, hymens that never get in the way, and there are female-bodied people that are born with NO hymen. Does that make them a virgin? Yup.

Also, you have to consider what it means to be a virgin because your hymen is fully stretched. Does that mean that if you're with a small guy and it's not fully stretched, you're still a virgin? Does that mean that if you don't have sex for a few years and it returns to it's previous state (this does happen) that you're a virgin all over again?

I am one of those people that feels you're not a virgin the first time you willingly give yourself to the one you love in a sexual manner. This includes homosexuals. This DOES NOT include rape. If you're raped and you are forced into sex, I still consider the person a virgin.

So no, you can't lose your virginity to a toy. You CAN however get yourself more used to the feeling so that you aren't as stressed and your first time isn't as unpleasant. Your friends all sound a bit silly.
06/25/2012
Contributor: butts butts
I very much consider virginity loss the first time you have SEX (straight or gay or whatever), not the first time you're penetrated (including hymen "cherry popping"), toys are tools not people. Tampons, pelvic exams, toys, I don't care, if it's not another person's doing, you're a virgin. NOW if the toy was a strap on and attached to someone, that's virginity loss ;P
06/25/2012
Contributor: PropertyOfPotter PropertyOfPotter
I actually think it's a great idea to start with toys. You'll be more prepared that way!
06/25/2012
Contributor: brevado brevado
Why not start with toys? Makes sense to me.
06/25/2012