The reason I'm asking is because I was talking to some girlfriends about toys not too long ago, and they do know I'm a virgin, and I did say that I got an actual vibe recently (the bcurious bgood--it's still sitting in my closet in its box, unopened) and one of them said, "I would never lose my virginity to a sex toy!" Which of course started a conversation about what defines virginity, etc, but it's kind of stuck with me.

It's kind of an odd question, but do you think it'd be better to save first penetration for the "real deal", or just go for it with a toy? And would you even consider that loss of virginity? less

I think virginity is a completely antiquated, misogynistic and just plain stupid concept to begin with. But I define "sex" as "any act by 2 or more people that involves the genitalia of at least one of the individuals involved in a mutually consensual and pleasurable way." According to my definition, unless you count your sex toy as a person (with all the personhood and anti-abortion lingo being slung around who knows! But I certainly don't), then masturbation with a toy couldn't be considered sex. Even though I don't believe in "virginity" I don't think anyone could argue that you could lose your virginity without having sex and playing solo with a dildo or vibrator just isn't sex. I think it's smart to experiment and play with toys before first intercourse. The hymen is also an antiquated concept, at least in the way society teaches it. The hymen is a thin membrane held over from gestation in the womb. During gestation, the hymen protects the female fetus' internal sex organs. As the girl ages, especially once the hormones from puberty are introduced, the hymen reduces until, in most cases, it is a little fringe around the edge of her vaginal opening (there are exceptions to this rule and some girls may never have had one or theirs may have simply disappeared during development altogether). This little fringe is rarely "broken". It is not some barrier to be popped or perforated. It CAN be torn, but with proper stretching, lubrication, arousal and gentle handling, it can simply be stretched with no pain or discomfort, just like almost any other soft tissue in your body. Your first time doesn't have to hurt, there's no need for bleeding or tearing or breaking anything. Playing slowly, gently, with lube, by yourself with no pressure can allow you to adequately stretch your hymen and teach yourself to relax and accept penetration without pain. Thus, your first intercourse could be a much more enjoyable experience. Not to mention learning more about your body and your sexuality and your orgasms (because we are each responsible for OUR OWN orgams!) will help you enjoy sex and communicate your desires with future partners. I think playing with toys before you play with a partner is absolutely the way to go! less

Thank you again for the honest, positive and encouraging responses, everyone! With the glass dildo sale going on today, I blew out my edenpoints on the gold-laced g and amethyst! I bought "I Love Female Orgasms" (the book--which is downright fabulous, by the way) and I'm excited to eventually use the g-spotting tips. I haven't played with the bgood yet but I think I'll be ready to soon!

I'm appreciative to this community for existing. I don't know where else I would find people who would be so open with what would be a TMI or awkward question in other communities, especially with a n00b like me! You are all rockstars! Forreal. less

The reason I'm asking is because I was talking to some girlfriends about toys not too long ago, and they do know I'm a virgin, and I did say that I got an actual vibe recently (the bcurious bgood--it's still sitting in my closet in its box, unopened) and one of them said, "I would never lose my virginity to a sex toy!" Which of course started a conversation about what defines virginity, etc, but it's kind of stuck with me.

It's kind of an odd question, but do you think it'd be better to save first penetration for the "real deal", or just go for it with a toy? And would you even consider that loss of virginity? less

The reason I'm asking is because I was talking to some girlfriends about toys not too long ago, and they do know I'm a virgin, and I did say that I got an actual vibe recently (the bcurious bgood--it's still sitting in my closet in its box, unopened) and one of them said, "I would never lose my virginity to a sex toy!" Which of course started a conversation about what defines virginity, etc, but it's kind of stuck with me.

It's kind of an odd question, but do you think it'd be better to save first penetration for the "real deal", or just go for it with a toy? And would you even consider that loss of virginity? less

The reason I'm asking is because I was talking to some girlfriends about toys not too long ago, and they do know I'm a virgin, and I did say that I got an actual vibe recently (the bcurious bgood--it's still sitting in my closet in its box, unopened) and one of them said, "I would never lose my virginity to a sex toy!" Which of course started a conversation about what defines virginity, etc, but it's kind of stuck with me.

It's kind of an odd question, but do you think it'd be better to save first penetration for the "real deal", or just go for it with a toy? And would you even consider that loss of virginity? less

The reason I'm asking is because I was talking to some girlfriends about toys not too long ago, and they do know I'm a virgin, and I did say that I got an actual vibe recently (the bcurious bgood--it's still sitting in my closet in its box, unopened) and one of them said, "I would never lose my virginity to a sex toy!" Which of course started a conversation about what defines virginity, etc, but it's kind of stuck with me.

It's kind of an odd question, but do you think it'd be better to save first penetration for the "real deal", or just go for it with a toy? And would you even consider that loss of virginity? less

The reason I'm asking is because I was talking to some girlfriends about toys not too long ago, and they do know I'm a virgin, and I did say that I got an actual vibe recently (the bcurious bgood--it's still sitting in my closet in its box, unopened) and one of them said, "I would never lose my virginity to a sex toy!" Which of course started a conversation about what defines virginity, etc, but it's kind of stuck with me.

It's kind of an odd question, but do you think it'd be better to save first penetration for the "real deal", or just go for it with a toy? And would you even consider that loss of virginity? less