I actually think it's a great idea to start with toys. It allows you to get to know your own body a lot more and become more comfortable with yourself. It also allows you to have a full understanding of what it takes for you as an individual to achieve orgasm(s).

I personally don't feel that it causes a "loss of virginity" either. I feel that genital-to-genital contact is what causes a loss of virginity and that there are different TYPES of virginity to lose.

It might ease the pain for your first time! Who cares what others think. If you're more comfortable trying out a toy first and experimenting with that, go for it!

Thank you everyone for your input so far!! I do consider "sex with another person" as the main definition of virginity and I don't think using a penetrative toy would qualify. I'm not sure if I'm even comfortable enough for that yet but when I am, I'll use it!

I know the general consensus is "don't care what anyone else thinks," but in middle and high school I was really into the purity aspect of christian culture and was a bit obsessed with staying a virgin till marriage. I now think much more for myself and now see how a lot of that culture shamed women if they didn't 'obey'. I still plan on waiting but I'm also working on reassessing these values outside of that culture since everyone is different and will experience their sexuality differently. And of course, that includes me. Due to that culture, though, and what that friend said, I have been a bit afraid that if I do wait but use penetrative toys, the guy I end up with will think I'm not a virgin, either. But then I realize that anyone who would invalidate my own personal sexual experiences like that is an a*hole and I shouldn't be giving them anything that means that much to me, anyway.

TL;DR: thank you for reaffirming what I already knew. Hearing it from others really does make me feel better

You've got a great head on your shoulders! Sounds like you're doing really well at figuring out your values and goals.

I was kind of weird about what entered my vagina before I lost my virginity. I didn't even want to use tampons at first.
I got over the whole "loss of virginity" thought pretty quickly and honestly if people say any penetration is "loss of virginity" then I either lost it to a tampon (as I'm sure many have ) or from my first partners hand.

It doesn't matter what others say on this subject. If you want to have fun and use toys, and are not ready intercourse, Then do it girl

I WISH I had lost my virginity to a toy and not a male virgin.

In my opinion using toys counts as masturbation - so don't worry! If you decide to use your toy after all, I would still count you as a virgin. Although to me virginity is sort of a mental state: You've only lost your virginity to a toy if you decide so. If you want to use toys, use toys. And think about this: Women also use their fingers to masturbate and I bet nobody would tell them they lost their virginities to their fingers!

I think toys are a great way to get to know your body and what you enjoy. First times can be very painful if you have no idea what you're doing.

once the cherry is popped there's no going back.

No it not weird. it can in fact be a very good idea that can put you in touch with your body and make your first penis in vagina experience better.

As for the whole "losing virginity" question, I reject the entire concept as being archaic, patriarchal, sex negative, and complacently backwards. Think about it. Do you refer to graduating as loss of degreelessness? Do we call marriage loss of single-hood? Do you call the birth of a first child losing your nulliparity? Phrase any other major life event in the logic of "losing virginity" and it sounds ridiculous.

It's not weird. The first time can be painful, for reasons you aren't happy about, and with regret about not choosing the right person for such a rite of passage.

If you take it yourself, you will always have that for you.

Not to out anyone, but a friend of mine is a virgin, but she loves Eden. And yep, penetration, everything. But I wouldn't call that loosing her virginity-- she just has a broken hymen.

I don't think it's weird or considered a loss of virginity.

I wouldn't count that.

I think it would be a great idea to explore your body and find out what works for you by yourself. It will probably make your first time with a partner a much better experience. I wouldn't consider it a loss of virginity at all. To me, you are a virgin until you decide to have sex with someone, so masturbating doesn't count.

I think it is perfectly normal

It absolutely does NOT qualify as losing your "virginity". And I wouldn't think it's weird.

not weird to me

I used toys for 2-3 years before I had sex, longer if you count things like massagers that I perverted into sex toys. I think it was a great alternative for me to having sex, it let me mature a bit until I was ready for a serious boyfriend

It's not weird, and it's up to the individual how they want to perceive their virginity - personally I would not consider virginity "lost" with a toy.

I don't think it's weird at all! Especially (although it may not be your case) for people who are waiting until marriage for sex. I've had friends in that situation who were more than old enough to understand sex and have a sex drive--toys can be the perfect solution in that case!

Unlike most, though, I would technically consider it a loss of virginity, yes. Then again, I kind of separate "first sex" and "physical virginity," but that's just me.

We don't even need the word virginity any more.
The Egyptians did not have the word.

I think its very common and even after toy penetration, you're still a virgin.

Losing your virginity needs to include another human.

I think it is a little weird but, Different people like different things.

i dont think its considered losing your virginity

No way! You're fine and it's totally not weird.

Virginity is a made up concept anyway, either you've had sex or you haven't. I also think all types of sex "count", not just penetration and certainly not just penis-in-vagina sex! IDK, it seems like only counting PIV penetration kinda erases a lot of different relationships/identiti es and that isn't cool. Break in your new toy and have fun! <3