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Do you think it's weird for a virgin to have her first penetration by a toy?

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Contributor: hybridinsurge hybridinsurge
That's not weird, it's smart! If you get through the hymen with a toy then you can, hopefully, have a pain-free and altogether more enjoyable time with your partner. Without the unsexy vaginal bleeding. When my hymen tore, it was so painful that I couldn't get to the actual sex anyway.

I suppose, there is an argument that you aren't a virgin if you lose your hymen. Personally, I don't think this is the case. Consider women who never involve penetration in their sexual encounters or women who were raped as virgins and wanted to 'reclaim' their virginity when going into an encounter of their own free will.
06/27/2012
Contributor: MissCandyland MissCandyland
I think it is a good idea. It would be like stretching before the actual work out.
06/27/2012
Contributor: hillys hillys
It's good to know your own body first I think
06/27/2012
Contributor: hyacinthgirl hyacinthgirl
Quote:
Originally posted by AshMegYo
once the cherry is popped there's no going back.
I fell down onto a sharp object when I was four years old and tore my hymen. Does that mean I wasn't a virgin, or that my sexuality was in any way affected? I didn't even know what a hymen was when I lost mine.

My first partner, though in many other ways an asshole, believed that I was a virgin and never made any sort of deal about it. It didn't make me promiscuous (far from, in fact, I identified as asexual until I was in my 20's) and I don't think that it in any way altered my personality, beyond the basic trauma associated with a bad injury to the genitals as a small child.
06/27/2012
Contributor: Kitka Kitka
Quote:
Originally posted by solitudinarian
It's how I did it! It made me a lot less worried about my first time and better prepared for it.
Yep, this is pretty much my answer too! In my opinion losing your virginity happens only with penetration from a partner, not a toy.
06/27/2012
Contributor: unfulfilled unfulfilled
I do not consider masturbating with an insertable toy as a loss of virginity. I think your friends seem prudish. I consider a persons virginity lost when two willing participants engage in sexual activities and penetration is involved.

I believe my first experience would have been more enjoyable if I had experimented before hand. I also think coming late into the game to sex toys is one of the reasons I've never had a vaginal orgasm. I didn't experiment until I was thirty and am now just discovering what I like and don't like. If I would have done this a decade ago I may be in a better place sexually.
06/27/2012
Contributor: BG529 BG529
Quote:
Originally posted by Peggi
I actually think it's a great idea to start with toys. It allows you to get to know your own body a lot more and become more comfortable with yourself. It also allows you to have a full understanding of what it takes for you as an individual to ... more
what she said
06/27/2012
Contributor: <3BF <3BF
Quote:
Originally posted by brevado
Why not start with toys? Makes sense to me.
exactly. I think using a toy first is the opposite of weird. It's smart.
06/27/2012
Contributor: Lavendar Lavendar
Masturbation is a fun and healthy way to find out what you like sexually. Don't feel badly about it, try it out with yourself, it will help you when you do lose your virginity with that special someone.
06/27/2012
Contributor: xilliannax xilliannax
Quote:
Originally posted by marrythenight
The reason I'm asking is because I was talking to some girlfriends about toys not too long ago, and they do know I'm a virgin, and I did say that I got an actual vibe recently (the bcurious bgood--it's still sitting in my closet in its ... more
If breaking the hymen is really all that constitutes a loss of virginity I know a LOT of girls who've lost their virginity to tampons, because they road horses, and bikes.

There's more to virginity than a hymen... unless you ask a church, but they'd tell you that masturbation is a sin anyway so WTH!
06/27/2012
Contributor: xilliannax xilliannax
Quote:
Originally posted by indiglo
It's not weird at all. Enjoy your body however YOU want to. There's nothing wrong with using a toy, especially if you have one and you want to do it.

You only lose your virginity when YOU say you do. Masturbating hardly counts, or ... more
There's male virgins?!
06/27/2012
Contributor: giftdgecko giftdgecko
I'd still call them a virgin because they haven't had sex. It's not like guys actually want to break a hymen
06/27/2012
Contributor: marrythenight marrythenight
Thank you again for the honest, positive and encouraging responses, everyone! With the glass dildo sale going on today, I blew out my edenpoints on the gold-laced g and amethyst! I bought "I Love Female Orgasms" (the book--which is downright fabulous, by the way) and I'm excited to eventually use the g-spotting tips. I haven't played with the bgood yet but I think I'll be ready to soon!

I'm appreciative to this community for existing. I don't know where else I would find people who would be so open with what would be a TMI or awkward question in other communities, especially with a n00b like me! You are all rockstars! Forreal.
06/28/2012
Contributor: nosrslylol nosrslylol
I don't think it's weird at all You should do what's right for you.
06/28/2012
Contributor: Sir Sir
Virginity is something lost by having sex with others, not masturbation. It is not odd to use a penetrative toy before having intercourse. It's absolutely fine, in fact.
06/29/2012
Contributor: animepanda89 animepanda89
Not at all, in my mind you are a virgin until a person puts their genitals into your genitals in a consenting way. Using a toy is a great idea since it gets you used to the experience and it will make your first time less painful. Another good thing is that it will allow you to find out what you like sexually, every woman should know what she finds pleasurable and there is no shame in finding it out for yourself.
06/29/2012
Contributor: indiechick indiechick
Quote:
Originally posted by marrythenight
The reason I'm asking is because I was talking to some girlfriends about toys not too long ago, and they do know I'm a virgin, and I did say that I got an actual vibe recently (the bcurious bgood--it's still sitting in my closet in its ... more
I think its unfortunate. I think she should know what the real thing feels like before trying to replace it with a piece of plastic or silicone and/or vibrations. But to each their own.
06/29/2012
Contributor: carenautilus carenautilus
Go tell them to go away. It's your own body.

Vaginal penetration can be painful if you're nervous or not sufficiently aroused, which is unfortunately likely (at least the first) when you're first having penetrative sex with someone else. I think it's a great idea to experiment with penetration when you're alone, relaxed, and have all the time in the world.

And, no, it's definitely not losing your virginity. Honestly.

Have fun!
06/30/2012
Contributor: Rin (aka Nire) Rin (aka Nire)
Hey, it's how I did it, and I couldn't be happier that I did. I wasn't even sure I ever wanted to have real sex until I got a hold of some high-quality dildos. Besides, I feel it's my right to seek out pleasure if I want it, traditions be damned.

And it's not a loss of virginity, per se. Virginity (which gets put on a ridiculously high pedestal, in my opinion) is simply a state of never having had sexual contact with another before, and it's up to each individual person to decide what "counts" for them. Plus, you could even think of there being different types of virginity, since there's so many kinds of sex to be had!

As for the hymen, fuck it. It shouldn't even come up in these conversations. It can be broken through extremely mundane activities, and you can even be born with an incomplete or broken one, or even without a hymen at all. Would anyone out there honestly say that a five second-old baby isn't a virgin? Methinks not.
06/30/2012
Contributor: Pinkshirt Pinkshirt
Exploration of your own body and knowing what feels good, prepares you for amazing sex with a partner. I don't think the use of toys means you lose your virginity.
06/30/2012
Contributor: HannahPanda HannahPanda
I don't think it's weird.
06/30/2012
Contributor: Lizard Lizard
Don't think it's weird at all.
07/01/2012
Contributor: gloomybear gloomybear
i wouldnt consider it as looseing ur virginity
07/01/2012
Contributor: Eden062112 Eden062112
Quote:
Originally posted by marrythenight
The reason I'm asking is because I was talking to some girlfriends about toys not too long ago, and they do know I'm a virgin, and I did say that I got an actual vibe recently (the bcurious bgood--it's still sitting in my closet in its ... more
I wouldn't say "I lost my virginity last night" if I used a vibrator, it isn't sex and in my opinion doesn't count. Thats like saying if a man gived himself a hand-job that he isn't a virgin.


However, if you where to go to the doctor, they would say that you aren't a virgin anymore because evrything isn't "in tact".

I personally wouldn't have wanted a vibrator to be my first penetration though... a penis is way better.
07/01/2012
Contributor: Eden062112 Eden062112
Quote:
Originally posted by HarlequinBunnie
Once the hymen is torn all the way you are not a virgin. The definition of virginity for girls is an intact hymen. And for you thinking to loose it to a toy well I'm sorry I feel it's wrong. There are men out there who will pay big bucks for ... more
Well some men are pigs. But I don't think she is planning on selling her virginity to pay for college.


My first penetration wasn't a vibrator, but I would have still called myself a virgin if it was.

Of course this is something that is all a matter of opinion.
07/01/2012
Contributor: Modern^Spank^Anthem Modern^Spank^Anthem
Quote:
Originally posted by marrythenight
The reason I'm asking is because I was talking to some girlfriends about toys not too long ago, and they do know I'm a virgin, and I did say that I got an actual vibe recently (the bcurious bgood--it's still sitting in my closet in its ... more
nope
07/01/2012
Contributor: Mrs.Intensity Mrs.Intensity
I don't think it matters at all. To me, loss of virginity is more than just the hymen rupturing. Actually... I have a very odd story about that lol. I technically lost my virginity to a tampon!! . So do not feel bad about "losing it" to a toy!!

That said, many things can rupture the hymen before you ever have a penis inside you, so I do not believe hymen rupture is a good way of judging loss of virginity. You are a virgin until you experience any form of sex or penetration with someone.
07/01/2012
Contributor: ArmyWife4311 ArmyWife4311
I don't necessarily think it's weird, but I do conisder it a lost of virginity just because once that little piece of skin is "popped" you can't get it back.
08/01/2012
Contributor: Scrawberry78 Scrawberry78
I wouldn't consider it loss of virginity.
08/01/2012
Contributor: namelesschaos namelesschaos
Quote:
Originally posted by ArmyWife4311
I don't necessarily think it's weird, but I do conisder it a lost of virginity just because once that little piece of skin is "popped" you can't get it back.
As others have pointed out this whole concept is ridiculous, but to reiterate the point let me ask you a question:

How do you and everyone else who keep using this line of reasoning even know she has a hymen to "pop"?

The question was "first penetration by a toy" not "loss of hymen" by a toy. Other have already pointed out there are a multitude of reason a women may not have a hymen including not being born with one. People are assuming there is hymen involved because they are working backwards from the fucked up theory. Notice no one even stops to ask if the individual still has a hymen, just straight to the scientifically and objectively unsound assumption. This is part of why this idea needs to die.

Also you can get it back ,there are surgeries, if the little piece of skin, is all that matter that should count as getting it back. Building on that if a "virgin" male were to go under go gender reassignment using your logic the person then becomes a non-"virgin" female?
08/01/2012