The New Intimacy

Naked Reader Book Club Discussion: CAN'T HELP THE WAY THAT I FEEL (Lori Bryant-Woolridge) and MAKING THE HOOK-UP (Cole Riley)(July 27, 7-11 PM EST)

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Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by Lori Bryant-Woolridge
Am I not doing something right? I'm not seeing any replies. Did everyone leave? Hello?
Are you refreshing the page?
07/27/2010
Contributor: Kristina Wright Kristina Wright
Quote:
Originally posted by Hopeless Romantic
I would like to read these books. I like to learn and especially if it teaches me & my hubby how to better please each other
Hi there! You might particularly enjoy Lori's book because of her "story starters" which allow you to take her beginnings and create your own stories. I think that would be a perfect way to share your thoughts with your husband!
07/27/2010
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by Kristina Wright
Hi there! You might particularly enjoy Lori's book because of her "story starters" which allow you to take her beginnings and create your own stories. I think that would be a perfect way to share your thoughts with your husband!
How have I managed to miss this?
07/27/2010
Contributor: Carrie Ann Carrie Ann
Quote:
Originally posted by LicentiouslyYours
It's been suggested in the past, but one of the more exciting ways to couples use erotica to spice things up is to actually read it out loud to each other. So, even if you don't learn something, you are having some fun!
We do this and add one or the other of us lolling in the tub while the other reads to the mix. It's fun!
07/27/2010
Contributor: Kristina Wright Kristina Wright
Quote:
Originally posted by Lori Bryant-Woolridge
Am I not doing something right? I'm not seeing any replies. Did everyone leave? Hello?
Lori, you have to hit refresh or "Last Post I Read."
07/27/2010
Contributor: Lori Bryant-Woolridge Lori Bryant-Woolridge
Quote:
Originally posted by Kristina Wright
Welcome, Lori Bryant Woolridge, editor of Can't Help the Way That I Feel. Perhaps you could share your inspiration for the very unusual and creative way you bring the reader into your book with your "story starters."

Also, I ... more
Okay, I think I finally have the hang of this!

In my sensuality coaching I often give the finish this story exercise to clients to help get them in touch with their sexual muses and for communication with their partners about sex. So I thought it would be a fun and unique addition for those who would use it that way and for folks who might like there own erotic story sitting on the nightstand.

And as Cole will understand, the more they write their own stories in the book the less likely they'll be to share it!!
07/27/2010
Contributor: Cole Riley Cole Riley
Quote:
Originally posted by Cole Riley
When I read your book, Lori, there is a directness. Every story talks to the readers and that is a wonderful thing. We need dialogue so much.
I got a little resistance from inserting any thing dealing with fetish in the book. And that is ok. I know that a lot of people, and Blacks, are doing all kinds of experiments in sensuality in the privacy of their own homes.
07/27/2010
Contributor: LicentiouslyYours LicentiouslyYours
Quote:
Originally posted by Cole Riley
When I read your book, Lori, there is a directness. Every story talks to the readers and that is a wonderful thing. We need dialogue so much.
Cole - last time, I asked the editors about what they liked about putting together these books. This time, I want to know what challenged you the most.

Did you run into stories submitted with elements you didn't what to include? Which stories did you feel really pushed the boundaries you mentioned?
07/27/2010
Contributor: Lori Bryant-Woolridge Lori Bryant-Woolridge
Quote:
Originally posted by Hopeless Romantic
I would like to read these books. I like to learn and especially if it teaches me & my hubby how to better please each other
Hopless, erotica is a great self-help manual. Not only have the writers thought up lots of interesting tricks and treats that you might be able to incorporate into your own relationship, but you can use it to spark conversation and approach the topic.
07/27/2010
Contributor: Lori Bryant-Woolridge Lori Bryant-Woolridge
Quote:
Originally posted by Cole Riley
When I read your book, Lori, there is a directness. Every story talks to the readers and that is a wonderful thing. We need dialogue so much.
Thanks. I really wanted the stories to speak to women about some of the real emotions that went on in their heads when it came to sex--boredom, religion, confusion, frustration--and show them how living and making love on their own terms can often relieve those feelings. My writers did a great job conveying that.
07/27/2010
Contributor: Cole Riley Cole Riley
Quote:
Originally posted by LicentiouslyYours
Cole - last time, I asked the editors about what they liked about putting together these books. This time, I want to know what challenged you the most.

Did you run into stories submitted with elements you didn't what to include? Which ... more
I ran into stories where extreme cruelty was used against partners. I ran into stories where the partners were humiliated beyond measure. I ran into stories where incest was apparent. I didn't want to publish anything that was untoward.
07/27/2010
Contributor: Brendada Brendada
Quote:
Originally posted by Lori Bryant-Woolridge
Hopless, erotica is a great self-help manual. Not only have the writers thought up lots of interesting tricks and treats that you might be able to incorporate into your own relationship, but you can use it to spark conversation and approach the ... more
well said -Lori, erotica is EXCELLENT self-help!
07/27/2010
Contributor: Lori Bryant-Woolridge Lori Bryant-Woolridge
Quote:
Originally posted by LicentiouslyYours
It's been suggested in the past, but one of the more exciting ways to couples use erotica to spice things up is to actually read it out loud to each other. So, even if you don't learn something, you are having some fun!
Absolutely and now with Can't Help you can write some together too!
07/27/2010
Contributor: rexy rexy
It's really interesting to get a look inside how you put these books together.
cole, A bit of romance, a bit of kink, a bit of lust, a bit of soul, a bit of ideas as well. --sounds like a greta mix
07/27/2010
Contributor: Cole Riley Cole Riley
Quote:
Originally posted by Cole Riley
I ran into stories where extreme cruelty was used against partners. I ran into stories where the partners were humiliated beyond measure. I ran into stories where incest was apparent. I didn't want to publish anything that was untoward.
Many of my stories were written by women. In a variety of mood and expression. I felt their sexuality, felt their freedom. And also felt their joy. I was privileged to publish them.
07/27/2010
Contributor: rexy rexy
love the idea of erotica as self help!
07/27/2010
Contributor: Lori Bryant-Woolridge Lori Bryant-Woolridge
Quote:
Originally posted by Kristina Wright
Lori, you have to hit refresh or "Last Post I Read."
Thanks!
07/27/2010
Contributor: Kristina Wright Kristina Wright
Quote:
Originally posted by Lori Bryant-Woolridge
Thanks. I really wanted the stories to speak to women about some of the real emotions that went on in their heads when it came to sex--boredom, religion, confusion, frustration--and show them how living and making love on their own terms can often ... more
Lori ~ I think emotion is at the heart of good erotica. Did you start out with the idea of temptation or did the idea evolve as you selected the stories?
07/27/2010
Contributor: Hopeless Romantic Hopeless Romantic
Quote:
Originally posted by Lori Bryant-Woolridge
Hopless, erotica is a great self-help manual. Not only have the writers thought up lots of interesting tricks and treats that you might be able to incorporate into your own relationship, but you can use it to spark conversation and approach the ... more
This sounds like some help I could really use in my life!
07/27/2010
Contributor: Misfit Momma Misfit Momma
I wish my husband would read to me!! He thinks it's strange enough that I prefer reading over porn.
07/27/2010
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by Misfit Momma
I wish my husband would read to me!! He thinks it's strange enough that I prefer reading over porn.
Have you tried reading to him first? Might be the kick he needs to return the favor.
07/27/2010
Contributor: Cole Riley Cole Riley
Quote:
Originally posted by Cole Riley
Many of my stories were written by women. In a variety of mood and expression. I felt their sexuality, felt their freedom. And also felt their joy. I was privileged to publish them.
I felt all of those things when I read Lori's book. Erotica is a window into someone's experience. Into their world. And you can pick a lot of tricks too.
07/27/2010
Contributor: rexy rexy
How did you guys get interested in writing erotica? And do your mother know what you do?
07/27/2010
Contributor: Lori Bryant-Woolridge Lori Bryant-Woolridge
Quote:
Originally posted by rexy
love the idea of erotica as self help!
I think most fiction tends to be vehicles of self help for a lot of women. At least that's how I approach writing it. They/we see our issues and problems in the lives of these characters and get ideas on how we can deal with them. Most of us aren't too comfortable admitting our issues to ourselves, and going directly to the Non Fiction shelves. Until we do, fiction fills the gap. There's a lot of responsibility there.
07/27/2010
Contributor: rexy rexy
the mothers part was a joke. I think erotica has made great strides into the mainstream because of writers like you
07/27/2010
Contributor: Hopeless Romantic Hopeless Romantic
Quote:
Originally posted by Misfit Momma
I wish my husband would read to me!! He thinks it's strange enough that I prefer reading over porn.
reading is a much deaper experience than watching porn, I think so anyhow. It gives you a more detailed view and opens your mind so much more. Allows you to gain more knowledge and insight for more open thinking
07/27/2010
Contributor: rexy rexy
Do you think maybe some people find getting help through fiction is less scary?
07/27/2010
Contributor: Lori Bryant-Woolridge Lori Bryant-Woolridge
Quote:
Originally posted by Kristina Wright
Lori ~ I think emotion is at the heart of good erotica. Did you start out with the idea of temptation or did the idea evolve as you selected the stories?
It started with temptation and I asked all my writers to center their stories around that theme. So many of us view temptation as a bad thing, and absolutely sometimes it can be, but often temptation can be the catalyst for personal growth because often its in those impulsive moments that we grow into the new and improved version of ourselves.
07/27/2010
Contributor: *Keona* *Keona*
Quote:
Originally posted by Misfit Momma
I wish my husband would read to me!! He thinks it's strange enough that I prefer reading over porn.
Reading is better then porn. Its more realisitic to me.
07/27/2010
Contributor: clp clp
Quote:
Originally posted by Hopeless Romantic
reading is a much deaper experience than watching porn, I think so anyhow. It gives you a more detailed view and opens your mind so much more. Allows you to gain more knowledge and insight for more open thinking
Reading/watching appeals to different sides of me. I like reading because it puts my head in a very focused, sympathetic space--I am more likely to look back at the story as something I've done or would like to do. Watching, on the other hand, is purely physical for me--in through the eyes and out through... well.. you know. So it kind of depends what sort of fix I'm looking for!
07/27/2010