The New Intimacy

How many sexual partners have you had?

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Contributor: Nashville Nashville
I know many of my friends and I used to "compare notes" of our sexual partners and how many we had. I had a running tally of how many men my best friend had been with which was remarkably easy to keep because it never exceeded past 4.

As for you, how many sexual partners have you had? How many do you think is "normal"? How many do you think is "too many"? Have you ever been ashamed of your number or feel like you never got to have as many partners as you should have?

Feel free to give as little detail or as much detail, the poll will be private so you don't even need to chime in on the subject if it isn't something you're comfortable talking about!
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
0
19  (4%)
1-3
210  (41%)
3-5
53  (10%)
5-10
95  (19%)
10-20
64  (13%)
20-30
32  (6%)
30-40
13  (3%)
40-50
3  (1%)
50-75
6  (1%)
75-100
7  (1%)
100+
7  (1%)
Total votes: 509
Poll is closed
05/12/2009
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Contributor: Not Here Anymore f/k/a Happy Lady Not Here Anymore f/k/a Happy Lady
I think this will be an interesting poll SD. It reminds me of this thread link where we discussed what constitutes a sexual partner.
05/12/2009
Contributor: Adriana Ravenlust Adriana Ravenlust
I have had only 1 and I married him so maybe it will stay only 1 but who is to say. I wouldn't mind moving my number a bit higher, should the perfect situation present itself.I don't have a number in my mind that is too few or too many.I say as long as it works for a person, they can fuck as many people as they want but I sure hope they're being smart about it.
05/12/2009
Contributor: Oggins Oggins
Where's the option for "I don't remember." LOL! Perhaps I've now said too much......
05/12/2009
Contributor: Sammi Sammi
Quote:
Originally posted by Oggins
Where's the option for "I don't remember." LOL! Perhaps I've now said too much......
lol
05/12/2009
Contributor: Nashville Nashville
Quote:
Originally posted by Oggins
Where's the option for "I don't remember." LOL! Perhaps I've now said too much......
lol! I just figured guesstimating would help, I used to be one of those girls that kept a list... oh god, have I said too much? lol.
05/12/2009
Contributor: Cinnamon Chambers Cinnamon Chambers
Umm...I can still get them all on 2 hands...well for vaginal sex with a man. For oral sex with a man, and girl on girl...we would be here a while.
05/12/2009
Contributor: Cinnamon Chambers Cinnamon Chambers
I have never been ashamed. I decided a long time ago to consider that before I make any decision. So..if I decide to do it, it will not be something I am ashamed of.
05/12/2009
Contributor: Not Here Anymore f/k/a Happy Lady Not Here Anymore f/k/a Happy Lady
Quote:
Originally posted by Cinnamon Chambers
Umm...I can still get them all on 2 hands...well for vaginal sex with a man. For oral sex with a man, and girl on girl...we would be here a while.
I count those types of interactions as sexual partners. I counted any exchange/potential exchange of non-saliva bodily fluids.
05/12/2009
Contributor: Tuesday Tuesday
I'm really surprised by the low numbers I'm seeing.
05/12/2009
Contributor: Nickisonehere Nickisonehere
I think I passed 20 recently which is kind of not so attractive haha
05/12/2009
Contributor: Not Here Anymore f/k/a Happy Lady Not Here Anymore f/k/a Happy Lady
Quote:
Originally posted by Nickisonehere
I think I passed 20 recently which is kind of not so attractive haha
Why? Is it because you feel it's too many, as posed in the question?
05/12/2009
Contributor: Backseat Boohoo Backseat Boohoo
8, 4 men and 4 women. 2 of each gender were a serious relationship, the rest were either short-term relationships or FWB.
05/12/2009
Contributor: Cinnamon Chambers Cinnamon Chambers
Ok...I sucked a LOT of dick in college. Like 8 or so more people than I have had actual sex with. Females..there have been four or 5, I only went down on one, 3 did on me ( I was so selfish), and one neither of us did the whole eating out thing.
05/12/2009
Contributor: Nickisonehere Nickisonehere
Quote:
Originally posted by Not Here Anymore f/k/a Happy Lady
Why? Is it because you feel it's too many, as posed in the question?
Yup lol. I don't think there's an actually 'too many' or anything. Everyone just has a point at which they're bothered in some sense (whether or not they should or shouldn't be I have no idea).
05/13/2009
Contributor: Nickisonehere Nickisonehere
Quote:
Originally posted by Cinnamon Chambers
Ok...I sucked a LOT of dick in college. Like 8 or so more people than I have had actual sex with. Females..there have been four or 5, I only went down on one, 3 did on me ( I was so selfish), and one neither of us did the whole eating out thing.
'Ok...I sucked a LOT of dick in college.'

Hilarious hahaha. What an awesome way of putting it
05/13/2009
Contributor: Rockin' Rockin'
My boy is my first/only partner for oral or PIV sex. I only gave/received (up to) manual pleasures with any previous partners, and there were only two relationships in which we made it that far. I feel like the things I did with my previous partners were not as pure, and a lot of it took place before I was ready, or could enjoy it completely. For those reasons I feel that my current partner is the only person with whom I've ever been truly, freely sexual.

I don't think there's a number that is too low, but too high? Definitely for me there is an upper limit. I wouldn't/couldn't be sexual with someone I didn't care for deeply, so the plausibility of finding more than, I'll guess, 20 partners in a lifetime for me seems quite low. I'm really monogamous, though, so it doesn't appeal to me to have a higher number. When I was younger I felt ashamed that I didn't have more experience. I'd tell people even though I was a virgin I had earned my certificate in foreplay.
05/13/2009
Contributor: Liz2 Liz2
Guys seem to exaggerate on their number of partners, want to come off as "experienced" but reality is somewhere else.
I remember all my sexual partners, both male and female, a small number.
05/13/2009
Contributor: Nickisonehere Nickisonehere
Quote:
Originally posted by Liz2
Guys seem to exaggerate on their number of partners, want to come off as "experienced" but reality is somewhere else.
I remember all my sexual partners, both male and female, a small number.
I've known two girls that have lied about their numbers. But I'm pretty skeptical that people do it frequently at all.

Actually, I knew a guy who lied about being a virgin to multiple girls, and for some reason they would want him sleep with him more hahahah
05/13/2009
Contributor: ScottA ScottA
Put me down as a single-partner guy, and I married her.
05/13/2009
Contributor: Mamastoys Mamastoys
I hate three...an ex husband (thank goodness he is X), one guy once, then hubby for the last 25-26 years...
05/13/2009
Contributor: Naughty Student Naughty Student
I had very few partners. My current partner is the only one I have had a serious relationship with.

My guy friend had this rule about sexual partners. He said that he thought the goal number of partners should equal twice an individuals age so according to my calculations he would have had roughly 60 partners. I was so shocked and had a hard time believing him. He said most of the girls he was with were one night stands bcs he travels alot. I would just prefer my partner not tell me if he has had sex with that many individuals. I have been and currently am my partners only sexual partner (atleast I hope so, if someone else is in the picture right now he should let me know we could get some fun stuff going ).
05/13/2009
Contributor: Nickisonehere Nickisonehere
Quote:
Originally posted by Naughty Student
I had very few partners. My current partner is the only one I have had a serious relationship with.

My guy friend had this rule about sexual partners. He said that he thought the goal number of partners should equal twice an individuals age so ... more
Haha, what an arbitrary way of determining a "goal number".

Personally, it bothers me not knowing how many people someone I like a lot has slept with. I've dated a couple of girls that have had somewhat high numbers. One girl was like 30, but she was a few years older than me, like 29, so maybe that's normal at that age for a single girl. Beats me. Other than that, I haven't hooked up with a girl I was really into who had such a high number that it bothered me at all.

And what's with the parenthetical, does your bf read this or something lol
05/13/2009
Contributor: bodymodboy bodymodboy
I've sucked one too many cocks as well, always safely of course. I've only had one risky situation where I was high and taken advantage of. Taught me a BIG lesson.
05/13/2009
Contributor: Naughty Student Naughty Student
Quote:
Originally posted by Nickisonehere
Haha, what an arbitrary way of determining a "goal number".

Personally, it bothers me not knowing how many people someone I like a lot has slept with. I've dated a couple of girls that have had somewhat high numbers. One girl was ... more
No, my partner thinks this is a cult of sexually obsessed people who are addicted to toys and he despises them(toys) so he doesn't come on here. I am addicted to parentheticals, I make them everywhere I can stick one in. I think I do that bcs I talk that way, sort of interupting myself to add little jokes here and there. I am weird like that...
05/14/2009
Contributor: Backseat Boohoo Backseat Boohoo
Quote:
Originally posted by Nickisonehere
Haha, what an arbitrary way of determining a "goal number".

Personally, it bothers me not knowing how many people someone I like a lot has slept with. I've dated a couple of girls that have had somewhat high numbers. One girl was ... more
What's with putting "lol" at the end of every other post? Do you have giggle fits or something?
05/14/2009
Contributor: sry sry
Oh god if I dated some one with 30 experience points I'd feel bad because I'd still be level 1.. I'd feel like she'd have gotten much better than me..
05/14/2009
Contributor: Adriana Ravenlust Adriana Ravenlust
Quote:
Originally posted by sry
Oh god if I dated some one with 30 experience points I'd feel bad because I'd still be level 1.. I'd feel like she'd have gotten much better than me..
I would probably feel that a bit and wonder about comparison.
05/14/2009
Contributor: Perish Perish
Wow some has done a 100 people...that blows my mind lolz.
05/15/2009
Contributor: Perish Perish
Quote:
Originally posted by Perish
Wow some has done a 100 people...that blows my mind lolz.
Someone*** Sorry that would have bothered me for the rest of the night.
05/15/2009