The New Intimacy

How would you feel if you found out your longterm partner still kept his ex-lovers pictures and videos (nudity ones) on his computer?

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Contributor: Ilovelingerie Ilovelingerie
Quote:
Originally posted by Badass
Come on Stormy, while it's not the "best idea", when you're even somewhat a jealous person and angry about that your lover hanging on to his ex, it's gotta feel nice to laugh about on an online forum, burning ... more
LOL... That is so true
06/30/2012
Contributor: Pinkshirt Pinkshirt
First of all shame on him for showing pictures and videos of himself with other women to his friends and brag about it. I wouldn't make a big deal about the pictures and videos on the computer. I would simply tell him that he needed to delete them because they made you feel uncomfortable. The lingerie, it sounds like he was a slob so he probably forgot that it was even there. I wouldn't get upset about it but would talk to him about it and ask him to throw it away. My husband and I were going through old boxes and he had pics of one of his exes and I actually wanted to see them but he wouldn't let me and shredded them.
06/30/2012
Contributor: Ilovelingerie Ilovelingerie
Quote:
Originally posted by LusciousLollypop
It is kinda psychotic but I have been known to burn pictures of my ex-boyfriends. With my best friend. While we were blasting the song "Fighter" By Christina Agularia and singing it at the top of our lungs.. LOL I'm not crazy at all.. I ... more
Back when I was younger and went to camp I had a small crush on this guy there, I had a couple pictures of him and we talked a lot over the internet, eventually I realized he wasn't for me, he lived to far away/etcetera.

ANYWAY


Then I started dating the man I am with now and he didn't like me having the pictures, I totally understood this, since I am the jealous type also.

So we rounded up every picture I had that he was in(even including pictures that he was in, in the background) and we went in the backyard together and BURNED THEM LIKE A HUNDRED TIMES. Did I mind doing this? No. Why? Because he didn't matter. The man I was with now matteres to me and I wouldn't want to keep something around that bothered him.


OBVIOUSLY you have a much more serious problem. BUT, if he loves you and is serious about your relationship, should he not also be willing to get rid of these pictures?/ videos/ lingerie?
06/30/2012
Contributor: freud13 freud13
I'm sorry. I went through something similar. It was not something I could put up with and was a huge part in my decision to leave. You have to decide what you are okay with in this situation and what you think is healthy. I'm sorry that you have to deal with this and know that it can be such a struggle.
06/30/2012
Contributor: SaraW0512 SaraW0512
Honey, I have been there and done it. My ex was the same way, kept the pics, TOYS, even stuffed animals from his ex's... he eventually did beat the shit out of me. We were together for 6 years. Had a daughter together. Started out just the way your man is doing you now then progressed. I ended it and moved back in my dad. It was the most horrific moment of my life thus far. We have been split up for over 3 years. He currently sits in a maximum security prison for beating his father nearly to death and left him for dead. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE do not let this go. I know you will stay with him and try to work it out, cause that's EXACTLY what I did. Love dies hard! IF you do stay, next physical touch... BAIL! this gets my blood boiling with the flashbacks. It will only get worse. I know you dont really know me but If you need experienced ears to listen, just message me!
07/01/2012
Contributor: mistressg mistressg
I am upset just thinking about that happening to someone! Just the pictures and videos alone..but HER LINGERIE???! WHY!?! YES, I think being upset or angry about that is absolutely reasonable.
07/01/2012
Contributor: Life's Little Secrets Life's Little Secrets
I would be pissed and confront him about it. I have photos and videos of my ex-gfs but my current gf knows about them but they do not contain nudity nor do I have any of her lingerie. My gf also has pictures and belongings of her ex-bf but there wasn't any nudity, so I am fine with it. I know she is devoted to me and I am devoted to her.
07/01/2012
Contributor: Crimson Vixen Crimson Vixen
Everything I read sounds like an extremely emotionally abusive relationship. From how you speak it sounds as if you have already been torn down some. You seem unsure about yourself and question your motives. It seems as if you are asking "Am I over-reacting and jealous?" when you have every right to be upset.

The relationship sounds toxic. I hope you choose the safest way.
07/06/2012
Contributor: nova2014 nova2014
I'd be so upset I'd feel like I wasn't enough and that he didn't care as much for me since he'd still have her pix and videos. I'd expect him to get rid of those as soon as he's in a relationship with me
02/04/2013
Contributor: evie.amor evie.amor
Quote:
Originally posted by LusciousLollypop
How would you feel if you found out your longterm partner still kept his ex-lovers pictures and videos (nudity ones) on his computer?

In my case.. my longterm boyfriend "bragged" and showed me his "ex-girlfriend" file on ... more
I'd be over the roof PISSED OFF! That's insane, if you've been together for a while I think he should get rid of that shit. The computer shit is one thing, as unfortunately I'm sure many guys have stuff like that (while still seriously offensive!). But the clothes and pictures.. jesus! If you're going to be with someone BE WITH THEM! Holding on to your past is like fulling giving yourself to your current partner.
02/05/2013