Here's Lori's introduction to the book, to get your questions and comments (or anything else) flowing. Lori will try to be with us, but can't be sure.
introduction: 9 Weeks to WoW
“I want to be less self-conscious and more comfortable in my own skin.”
“After finding out about his affair, my self-esteem has been shattered. I want my sexy back, not for him, but for me.”
“I wish I could be more aggressive when it comes to sex, but I don’t want to seem loose.”
“At forty-two, I want to truly enjoy sex with my mate.”
“Between kids and work, I don’t have the time or energy to be sexy.”
“I want to feel sexy and confident in all aspects of my life, not just the bedroom.”
“I seem to be projecting the wrong something, because I’m still manless.”
“I’m tired of being alone.”xiv
Sound all too familiar? Kind of like the conversations you and your girlfriends have been having for years? Since you’re reading this, I’m guessing you’re feeling somewhat lacking in the sensuality/sex/romance departments of your life and you’re looking for a remedy.
Well, happily, you’re in the right place. And kudos to you for even picking up this book, because admitting to yourself that you’re not on top of your game in the womanly wiles department takes courage. I’m mean, we’re supposed to know all this stuff, right? How to be sensual and alluring and dynamite in and out of bed.
Like her.
You know who I’m talking about. Ms. Thing. You’re sitting in a bar minding your own business, thinking you’re looking cute and hoping someone else is going to think so too. And then here she comes. She sashays confidently into the room oblivious to the fact that all eyes, including yours, are on her. She’s wearing the perfect little black dress (the one you’ve been searching for but always see on some other woman) and strutting over to the bar in a way that makes every body part sway with come-hither appeal. It’s a walk that brings men to her side and sends women into private places to practice. You feel both jealousy and admiration toward this diva. Talk about paling by comparison. Suddenly, you don’t feel so cute. And of course, she sits down right next to you and instead of ordering the cocktail du jour like every other girl in the room asks for some drink you’ve never heard of.
On closer inspection, you see that she’s more striking than beautiful. More sensuous than sexy. Of course, within minutes, some Chris Rock-looking guy is elbowing you out of the way to get to her. You watch her handle the admirer, graciously accepting his compliments with a “you’re-so- sweet-but-this-is-neve r-going-to-happen” smile and sending him back to his friends thinking he’s Denzel Washington. You realize then that the key to her irresistible charm is confidence. This is a woman who is totally at ease with herself. A woman to study and emulate, not envy.
She has the power. That indefinable “wow” that seems to inhabit a lucky few and evade the rest of us. But you want it too. But where did she get it? And where do you start?
The truth is, most of us don’t know what we’re doing, and from the beginning our sex lives have been “Pretend until you win” propositions. Think about it: Who taught you to be a healthy, sensual, confident sexual being? Who showed you how to feel good in your own body today, in the here and now, not tomorrow, when you’ve lost 10 pounds or the promises made by your cellulite cream are kept? If you’re like the majority of American women, regardless of age, race, religion, or marital status, the answer is no one. And yet, do you know any woman who at one time or another didn’t wish she was sexier? Or felt more confident in her ability to attract and entice a lover? Or had the courage to match her sensual thoughts with sexual actions?
Society has done a pretty good job teaching women how to be good at what we do. We’re busy college students, power players with demanding careers and families, working or stay- at-home mothers with terrific (and demanding) tots. Depart- ment managers or soccer moms, we’re trained to be super at our jobs. But forget the job, what about the woman?
See, nobody teaches us how to be good at who we are. In fact, rather than teach us, they seem to go out of their way to confuse us—particularly when it comes to the essence of our sensual, sexual selves. It’s as if they said, “We’ll give you all the education and training you need to be an amazing [fill in your job position], but when it comes to being an interesting, courageous, passionate woman, you’re on your own.”
The fact is that millions of women in this country, no matter how varied their wants and needs, are itching to get their sexy back. Not a month goes by when there isn’t some magazine or Internet article or television segment focused on the topic of how to be more sexy and alluring. And the great majority of women (including nearly all the women I coach) seem to have a common desire: to shed their good-girl ways and add a little naughty to their nice.
It’s true. Most of us were taught to be good girls. But even then, we were only told what good girls don’t do, which made the list of what good girls do mighty short, and the list of things we were curious about and wanted to do extremely forbidding.
And so here you stand, wondering why your inner needs don’t match your outer persona. Why your secret desires are in opposition to your cultural or religious upbringing. Why you’re dying to change but have no idea where to begin.
Just where does one go to learn how to be a confident, lovely, and lusty lady?
Welcome to Stiletto U, a virtual university dedicated to teaching you how to unleash the confident, sensual you. Through our comprehensive, user-friendly, nine-week program focused on the power and pleasure of sensuous living, every woman can learn to be a healthy, sensual, charming, sexual being without the approval or validation of anyone other than herself.
Why Stiletto U? Because as a little girl, what’s the first
thing you did to emulate a woman? Put your precious little feet into Mommy’s high heels. High heels, particularly stilettos, have always been a metaphor for a woman’s feminine power, sensuality, and sexuality.
But what if your chosen footwear is flats, and heels are reserved only for special occasions, if ever? Fear not, these lessons are for you too—it’s the grown-up and sexy stiletto mentality that we’re trying to impart. The idea that no matter your body shape, weight class, bra size, hair color, or heel height, you are always ready to walk tall, strut your stuff, and announce to the world that sexy has just entered the building!
You’ve gone long enough settling for living vicariously through the romantic escapades of Hollywood starlets and romance novel characters. It’s time to make your fantasy life a reality. So just click those fabulous heels three times—and away we go to unearth and unleash the confident, sensual power of WOW in you.
Lori
