I think a D/s relationship is a big commitment. A lot of times there are more emotions involved than just casual play partners. There's also a great amount of trust that goes into a D/s relationship.. or there should be anyway. Daddy and I have been married for 10 years and I trust him completely, so I feel I could not submit to anyone else other than him.

It's okay! You gotta start somewhere!

There are relationships like these that are 24/7. For example, I am owned completely by Melen, and submit to him 24/7. ... When I'm not acting like I don't know my place, that is. =D

Thanks!

i hugs you. not to worry lady. me myself i'm a total dunce when it comes to this stuff. i think alot of people have no idea! us EFers are getting ahead of the mainstream just be being here and learning. i hug you.

My thought would be more of a committed tie between the 2 instead of the more casual.

speaking of which, has anyone seen the tv series 'sister wives?'

its a real life series following a polyamorous family with one man and 4 wives.

I was just talking to you last night about this sort of thing and convinced you to sign up for that fetlife account.

I agree, I was trying to figure out how I was going to word it for myself and you said it exactly.

Thank you! That's a great chunk for me and my hubby to read. I think the more I can put into words what I want, and the more I can find for him to read, the more he'll be willing to try things or let me find a play partner.

For me I do this 24/7 ... as does Rayne.. not sure about anybody else. Collaring ceremonies vary depending on the people. Some have them to symbolize the commitment to eachother.. others use them almost like wedding ceremonies. There are people that only do BDSM in the bedroom and that's fine, then there are some that live it all the time no matter where they are. I don't leave the house without letting my owner know.. I Don't buy anything without mentioning it to him first if it's for the house, etc.

It's less casual. It's no longer about playing. But there's always a lot of control still in the submissive's hands because in a D/s relationship there's always going to be consent rather than an assumed overall consent.

Where playing is about scratching an itch, D/s becomes a sort of lifestyle where the power exchange is disbalanced in favor of one partner. It's different because as play partners, everyone is calling the shots. It's about mutual agreement. D/s is about mutual consent... where one partner is consenting to being submissive and the other is consenting to taking control.

Honestly, the D/s spectrum is the part where I have the most trouble. I ID as a sadist (the more you know...!) and as a woman I'd love to be in a D/s relationship where I can be a D in the traditional sense, but everyone who wants a female D wants something I just don't ID as.

I would say that it seems to be the most common dynamic, at least from where I stand as a poster on the internet. It's less severe than the Master/slave dynamic and it's less wrapped up in sadism and masochism (therefore psychologically less 'frightening', I suppose), even though it is still about s and m.

You can have a submissive sadist. You can have a dominant masochist. D/s is about the psychological view of what you are, and it doesn't have to include s/m at all. Play partners are about the kink. D/s is about the mindset.

In my opinion. ;-)

I LOVE that show. I really think I could live that life... but I'm totally not religious. So that part kills it for me. Hell, I could even take on a few husbands.

I think that's polygamy, actually. That's when one man marries more than one wife. Similar concept, though.

There's so many pesky terms out there that can get crazy.

I understand it is an intense things, and people take it very serious. I wasnt trying to belittle anyone by my definition or exclude anyone. I just think wording is important in explain things to the person who doesnt know and not jumping to bitting someones heads off (which isnt what happened im not saying anyone took it that far) Like everyone said were all here to learn. Continue on.

link

Welcome!

Hi! You just missed the tea.

Ha ha, that is how I feel about my relationship with my partner too.

Yeah, Sister Wives is about polygamy.

I am totally closet addicted to that show

Hey awesome! Welcome. Hope we learn ya sumin.

Welcome, glad you could make it

wow. see i dont even know anyone (to my knowledge! who's to say they're not keeping it underwraps) who participates in BDSM.

why is it so underground and hush hush? this type of lifestyle for sex to me seems, now that i'm learning about it, as universal and commonplace as being hetero, homo, pan, bi or transsexual. but i know plenty of trans, bi, hetero and homosexual people. how come people dont talk about their BDSM play? or i guess, how come they dont talk about it with ME!?

Absolutely. I bit this persons head off because he was talking down to me.. that's not what happens here. However, emotion doesn't translate in print well sometimes so it could have been meant in a completely helpful way if somebody explains something.

Hey, but at least we're only half way through this time! Glad to see you, Dusk.

You know me, lady! And I was just talking to you last night about it. Sheesh! You give me no credit! Haha!

I love that show. I was an anthropology major (as well as pre-nursing major) and polygamy is super interesting from a personal and anthropological view.