The New Intimacy

Eden Flicks/Eden Kink Discussion: Secretary. January 17 at 8 PM EDT

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Contributor: Serenesub Serenesub
Quote:
Originally posted by winterseve
Heard a few things about the Story Of O. Is it as good as The Secretary?
Honestly, I only have the book and I've read about half and haven't touched it in months.
01/17/2012
Contributor: Rayne Millaray Rayne Millaray
Quote:
Originally posted by Tori Rebel
Story of O...hate that movie!
I haven't seen the movie. The book was kinda slow, I think.
01/17/2012
Contributor: biancajames biancajames
Quote:
Originally posted by Serenesub
See, that's your opinion though. Telling somebody that when they're happy in their relationship could really hurt them. Everybody works out what's good for them.
My only concern about absolute dependence is if the relationship dissolves, it can be waaaaay worse than a regular breakup.
01/17/2012
Contributor: biancajames biancajames
Quote:
Originally posted by BBW Talks Toys
Congratulations biancajames!
WOOHOO! I totally netflixed that last week!
01/17/2012
Contributor: lexical lexical
Quote:
Originally posted by lexical
It's not my opinion, actually...Codependent has a specific definition. It is, by definition, unhealthy.
Which is not to say that there aren't healthy forms of dependency There are. Just not...codependency.
01/17/2012
Contributor: Serenesub Serenesub
Quote:
Originally posted by lexical
It's not my opinion, actually...Codependent has a specific definition. It is, by definition, unhealthy.
For some. Others thrive on it.
01/17/2012
Contributor: K101 K101
WHOO HOO! I made it! I rushed home just in time!
01/17/2012
Contributor: lexical lexical
Quote:
Originally posted by Serenesub
For some. Others thrive on it.
All right then. Agree to disagree. But you might want to read up on codependency before you attempt to defend it. lol
01/17/2012
Contributor: winterseve winterseve
on the other note. I have two tattoos I designed. A luckenbooth (Scottish symbol for love and loyalty) and a redesigned Claddagh.
01/17/2012
Contributor: Antipova Antipova
Quote:
Originally posted by lexical
Yeah, I don't think codependent is the word you'd like to use, Rayne Dependent, sure. Interdependent, absolutely. But codependent is no good.
Right, to me "codependent" is the sort of inverse-narcissism that Al-Anon tries to help with for the (trapped, unhappy-with-their-sit uation) partners of alcoholics. And can exist outside of alcoholism. But is a different thing from "interdependent" and "dependent"---in that it's not really what you want and you feel trapped there.

At least that's the impression that I had gotten. Could be incomplete, though.
01/17/2012
Contributor: lexical lexical
Quote:
Originally posted by winterseve
on the other note. I have two tattoos I designed. A luckenbooth (Scottish symbol for love and loyalty) and a redesigned Claddagh.
I love the word luckenbooth! How fun!
01/17/2012
Contributor: BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
One more. Quote trivia.

Woman: How do you decide you wanna be a dominatrix? What, do you wake up one day and go, "Hey, I feel like being bossy"?
01/17/2012
Contributor: Serenesub Serenesub
Quote:
Originally posted by biancajames
My only concern about absolute dependence is if the relationship dissolves, it can be waaaaay worse than a regular breakup.
Definitely. But for me, any D/s M/s relationship is going to be a terrible break up because of all the trust and time devoted to it. I myself... didn't become co dependent on purpose at all. I've known him five years. It was a slow evolution that just happened. I'm happy and I'm comfortable. For me it isn't bad. It's actually the happiest I've ever been. I know the breakup could be horrible if it happens and I've accepted that risk.
01/17/2012
Contributor: lexical lexical
Quote:
Originally posted by BBW Talks Toys
One more. Quote trivia.

Woman: How do you decide you wanna be a dominatrix? What, do you wake up one day and go, "Hey, I feel like being bossy"?
Exit to eden
01/17/2012
Contributor: wrmbreze wrmbreze
Quote:
Originally posted by BBW Talks Toys
One more. Quote trivia.

Woman: How do you decide you wanna be a dominatrix? What, do you wake up one day and go, "Hey, I feel like being bossy"?
Exit to Eden
01/17/2012
Contributor: Rayne Millaray Rayne Millaray
Quote:
Originally posted by biancajames
My only concern about absolute dependence is if the relationship dissolves, it can be waaaaay worse than a regular breakup.
For someone who didn't choose their partner wisely, perhaps. If our relationship were to dissolve (gods forbid), M would make sure I was on my feet before shoving me out the door.
01/17/2012
Contributor: Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
Quote:
Originally posted by biancajames
My only concern about absolute dependence is if the relationship dissolves, it can be waaaaay worse than a regular breakup.
That is true. But in some situations of absolute dependance, arrangements are actually made for such scenarios in advance. It's rare but I've seen it done. Basically once you take on that responsibility, you don't go brushing it off like nothing - while the relationship may desolve, the responsibility can, at least temporarily, continue.
01/17/2012
Contributor: lexical lexical
Quote:
Originally posted by lexical
Exit to eden
Er, it's Sheila Kingston! LOL
01/17/2012
Contributor: Antipova Antipova
Quote:
Originally posted by Antipova
Right, to me "codependent" is the sort of inverse-narcissism that Al-Anon tries to help with for the (trapped, unhappy-with-their-sit uation) partners of alcoholics. And can exist outside of alcoholism. But is a different thing from ... more
Er, sorry if I spent too long typing, everybody else got this wrapped up already
01/17/2012
Contributor: AndroAngel AndroAngel
Dictionary Definition time:

Codependency: excessive emotional or psychological reliance on a partner, typically a partner who requires support due to an illness or addiction.

Dependency: the state of relying on or being controlled by someone or something else

Interdependence: (of two or more people or things) dependent on each other
01/17/2012
Contributor: Serenesub Serenesub
Quote:
Originally posted by lexical
All right then. Agree to disagree. But you might want to read up on codependency before you attempt to defend it. lol
I have. I don't think we're going to agree on this point.
01/17/2012
Contributor: BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Quote:
Originally posted by lexical
Exit to eden
Congratulations to lexical!

Oh, and these are $25 gift cards to EF, btw.
01/17/2012
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by Rayne Millaray
For someone who didn't choose their partner wisely, perhaps. If our relationship were to dissolve (gods forbid), M would make sure I was on my feet before shoving me out the door.
That is a very good man. A lot of people probably wouldn't do that for their partner's in general I don't think.
01/17/2012
Contributor: BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Quote:
Originally posted by lexical
Er, it's Sheila Kingston! LOL
I was looking for the movie, sorry.
01/17/2012
Contributor: K101 K101
Quote:
Originally posted by wrmbreze
right now I only have an elephant on my right shoulder. She has never seen it. I am a black female, a little dark. I remember when I was younger she said something about me being too dark for tattoos and it kinda hurt my feelings. I ignored but found ... more
Aw! not trying to change the subject, but I did want to jump in here and say thanks for sharing that with us! That's sad though, but true. All sorts of races can be racist, unfortunately.
01/17/2012
Contributor: lexical lexical
Quote:
Originally posted by AndroAngel
Dictionary Definition time:

Codependency: excessive emotional or psychological reliance on a partner, typically a partner who requires support due to an illness or addiction.

Dependency: the state of relying on or being controlled by ... more
Precisely! Thank you, AndroAngel!
01/17/2012
Contributor: winterseve winterseve
Congrats biancajames and lexical!
01/17/2012
Contributor: lexical lexical
Quote:
Originally posted by BBW Talks Toys
Congratulations to lexical!

Oh, and these are $25 gift cards to EF, btw.
Yay! Thanks, BBW!
01/17/2012
Contributor: wrmbreze wrmbreze
Quote:
Originally posted by K101
Aw! not trying to change the subject, but I did want to jump in here and say thanks for sharing that with us! That's sad though, but true. All sorts of races can be racist, unfortunately.
you would be surprised how many people think blacks can't be racist.
01/17/2012
Contributor: Rayne Millaray Rayne Millaray
Quote:
Originally posted by Jul!a
That is a very good man. A lot of people probably wouldn't do that for their partner's in general I don't think.
Well, and there's the key. How many people do you know who make plans for their marriage dissolving? How many husbands or wives help their exes when they break up? M would if I needed him to. I know because he did it for each of his exes and he hates them. Lol.
01/17/2012