The New Intimacy

Eden Flicks/Eden Kink Discussion: Secretary. January 17 at 8 PM EDT

Skip to last post
Set alerts
Updates
Forum search
Contributor: Serenesub Serenesub
Quote:
Originally posted by wrmbreze
The thing is it means different things to different people. Same as with bdsm. Some see it as abuse while others see it as a way of life.
Exactly.
01/17/2012
Contributor: lexical lexical
Quote:
Originally posted by Serenesub
You are a different kinkster and bottom than I am sub/slave. Codependency is a part of my life and every sub I know. Saying it's wrong and not healthy, or that I don't know what I am can be hurtful. I'm not hurt at all. I know where ... more
Okay...I don't deny that we're all different. Obviously. But if codependency is a part of your life, then...YES. It's unhealthy. Bearing in mind that "codependency" means "a psychological condition or a relationship in which a person is controlled or manipulated by another who is affected with a pathological condition". If you feel that kink is a pathological condition, then...sure. All people in D/s relationships are codependent. Only they're NOT. Because being a kinkster is NOT a pathology and having a healthy, negotiated relationship involving power exchange is NOT codependency.
01/17/2012
Contributor: biancajames biancajames
Quote:
Originally posted by AndroAngel
Ah, but it isn't an argument over if subs are broken, it's an argument over the use of a word with negative connotations versus a word with positive ones. Codependence- which can be a psychological diagnosis associated with an illness versus ... more
Ditto- I'm working towards becoming a therapist and codependency has a very specific definition in a clinical sense. But I'm not criticizing anyone's lifestyle here.
01/17/2012
Contributor: ~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
Quote:
Originally posted by AndroAngel
Ah, but it isn't an argument over if subs are broken, it's an argument over the use of a word with negative connotations versus a word with positive ones. Codependence- which can be a psychological diagnosis associated with an illness versus ... more
Isn't it possible that there is a correlation for some people?

How can you choose to be dependent? That seems backwards. That word doesn't make sense to me either the way you explained it.
01/17/2012
Contributor: Sapphire Pet Sapphire Pet
Quote:
Originally posted by Serenesub
Thank you.
I'm sorry but I didn't come to this discussion to watch my beliefs (or any one elses) be criticized and condemned. And I'm completely supportive of Serenesub and the others who have shared their stories. I could easily say everyone who drives a red car is stupid because cops will pull you over faster or blondes have more fun because they're stupid and guilable. (don't yell... I drive a red car and I'm blonde) So trying to explain someone's life style to them isn't going to work... it's not going to change their minds or any one elses. I have to say I'm disappointed. I really wanted to talk about the movie because it's a beautiful and wonderful thing between 2 people. And you're welcome Serenesub!!! *hugs*
01/17/2012
Contributor: Serenesub Serenesub
Quote:
Originally posted by lexical
Okay...I don't deny that we're all different. Obviously. But if codependency is a part of your life, then...YES. It's unhealthy. Bearing in mind that "codependency" means "a psychological condition or a relationship in ... more
Okay. I'm done. Seriously. I love Eden kink, I love that it's open and nobody gets judged. I do not appreciate being told I'm unhealthy. I am not. I am healthy, and I am happy but I am codependent. That isn't a part of you life and not something you want, and not something you see as healthy. That is fine. but not everybody sees it that way and arguing the point the way you are can and is becoming offensive.
01/17/2012
Contributor: ~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
Quote:
Originally posted by Sapphire Pet
I'm sorry but I didn't come to this discussion to watch my beliefs (or any one elses) be criticized and condemned. And I'm completely supportive of Serenesub and the others who have shared their stories. I could easily say everyone who ... more
I really wanted to hear about the movie. It sounded interesting. I have the film qued up and was trying to decide if it was worth the time to watch.
01/17/2012
Contributor: wrmbreze wrmbreze
Quote:
Originally posted by Sapphire Pet
I'm sorry but I didn't come to this discussion to watch my beliefs (or any one elses) be criticized and condemned. And I'm completely supportive of Serenesub and the others who have shared their stories. I could easily say everyone who ... more
I am not living the lifestyle and I enjoyed hearing about those of you who are. I think if it is something that you and your mate have decided to do, it is not my place or anyone else's to tell you what you think is wrong. But thats just me.
01/17/2012
Contributor: Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
Quote:
Originally posted by ~LaUr3n~
I really wanted to hear about the movie. It sounded interesting. I have the film qued up and was trying to decide if it was worth the time to watch.
It's DEFINITELY worth watching. No question about it!
01/17/2012
Contributor: lexical lexical
Quote:
Originally posted by Sapphire Pet
I'm sorry but I didn't come to this discussion to watch my beliefs (or any one elses) be criticized and condemned. And I'm completely supportive of Serenesub and the others who have shared their stories. I could easily say everyone who ... more
Holy smokes. All right. I'm going to give this one last shot and then I'm going to drop it before it escalates. I NEVER implied that Serenesub's (or anyone else's) lifestyles or beliefs are wrong. What I DID say is that codependency is bad. Since Serenesub is in a consensual, happy relationship, her relationship is not codependent.
01/17/2012
Contributor: Serenesub Serenesub
Quote:
Originally posted by ~LaUr3n~
I really wanted to hear about the movie. It sounded interesting. I have the film qued up and was trying to decide if it was worth the time to watch.
It really is. It's nicely erotic but set in a BDSM reality. BAck to the movie talk!
01/17/2012
Contributor: Rayne Millaray Rayne Millaray
You guys, really. To-may-toe, to-mah-toe. Obviously, we're all just expressing our opinions here.

If you're really bothered, I'm sorry you feel that way. :/ Feel free to join us at the EdenKink meeting next week where we'll be discussing pet play. Red Vinyl Kitty will be guest speaking!
01/17/2012
Contributor: ~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
Quote:
Originally posted by Tori Rebel
It's DEFINITELY worth watching. No question about it!
Thanks Tori! That is what I wanted to hear Did you discover it through here or did you know of it prior?
01/17/2012
Contributor: lexical lexical
Quote:
Originally posted by Serenesub
Okay. I'm done. Seriously. I love Eden kink, I love that it's open and nobody gets judged. I do not appreciate being told I'm unhealthy. I am not. I am healthy, and I am happy but I am codependent. That isn't a part of you life and ... more
01/17/2012
Contributor: lexical lexical
Quote:
Originally posted by Serenesub
Okay. I'm done. Seriously. I love Eden kink, I love that it's open and nobody gets judged. I do not appreciate being told I'm unhealthy. I am not. I am healthy, and I am happy but I am codependent. That isn't a part of you life and ... more
01/17/2012
Contributor: AndroAngel AndroAngel
I feel like the more this progresses, the more people are not understanding each other.

I believe the point that was originally raised was that submissives are generally mentally sound, and choose of their own free will to submit. Those in 24/7 relationships choose to become dependent upon their masters. So the entire argument is a difference of terms because those with psych backgrounds don't like the implication that subs are mentally ill.
01/17/2012
Contributor: wrmbreze wrmbreze
Quote:
Originally posted by Rayne Millaray
You guys, really. To-may-toe, to-mah-toe. Obviously, we're all just expressing our opinions here.

If you're really bothered, I'm sorry you feel that way. :/ Feel free to join us at the EdenKink meeting next week where we'll be ... more
I think I may do that. I find this very interesting and all new to me.
01/17/2012
Contributor: Serenesub Serenesub
Quote:
Originally posted by Sapphire Pet
I'm sorry but I didn't come to this discussion to watch my beliefs (or any one elses) be criticized and condemned. And I'm completely supportive of Serenesub and the others who have shared their stories. I could easily say everyone who ... more
Again, thank you
01/17/2012
Contributor: BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Quote:
Originally posted by biancajames
yay! Who do I contact to claim mine?
They'll be emailed to you. If you don't get it in a week or so, let me know.
01/17/2012
Contributor: ~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
Quote:
Originally posted by Serenesub
It really is. It's nicely erotic but set in a BDSM reality. BAck to the movie talk!
I'm trying lol.

I am not in that lifestyle, but it still interests me. I watch porn and read erotic that I'd never engage in, but it still is erotic.
01/17/2012
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by Rayne Millaray
Thanks. My comment was more toward the "being dependent can be bad" crowd, though. The question most often asked is "What happens when you break up if you're completely dependent?" It's not just slaves who are dependent. ... more
That would be me. I walk a fine line between "rawr I'm an independent woman" and "please take care of me while I become a happy housewife" lol. I think that being dependent can be bad for some people, and it can be great for others.
01/17/2012
Contributor: Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
Quote:
Originally posted by ~LaUr3n~
Thanks Tori! That is what I wanted to hear Did you discover it through here or did you know of it prior?
No, I've had it for a year or two now and it's one of those discs that rarely goes back into its case...it's one of my standbys to just toss into the dvd player. It doesn't represent every relationship, obviously, and if you go back to the beginning of the discussion you can see what people really appreciate or don't like about it, but overall it's good. And while it's really not graphic, it's extremely sensual in a BDSM sense and really arousing without being over the top.
01/17/2012
Contributor: wrmbreze wrmbreze
Quote:
Originally posted by ~LaUr3n~
I'm trying lol.

I am not in that lifestyle, but it still interests me. I watch porn and read erotic that I'd never engage in, but it still is erotic.
Same. I enjoy learning about other lifestyles. especially lifestyles that mainstream consider taboo. like mine, I am in an interracial marriage.
01/17/2012
Contributor: lexical lexical
Quote:
Originally posted by AndroAngel
I feel like the more this progresses, the more people are not understanding each other.

I believe the point that was originally raised was that submissives are generally mentally sound, and choose of their own free will to submit. Those in ... more
Thank you, AndroAngel. I'm glad that someone else understands what I'm trying to say...That's comforting. LOL

Okay Have a lovely evening, folks. I look forward to the next discussion. BBW, thanks for the opportunity to talk about this awesome movie and to win some prizes!
01/17/2012
Contributor: Serenesub Serenesub
Quote:
Originally posted by ~LaUr3n~
I'm trying lol.

I am not in that lifestyle, but it still interests me. I watch porn and read erotic that I'd never engage in, but it still is erotic.
I wasn't the first time I seen it either but it still fascinated me.
01/17/2012
Contributor: null null
Just popping in to say I really liked the movie once it was all said and done. There were times when I was a little on-edge about what was happening: 'Why isn't he asking if this is ok?!?', but I did enjoy the movie.
Now leaving before the arguments grow...
01/17/2012
Contributor: ~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
Quote:
Originally posted by Tori Rebel
No, I've had it for a year or two now and it's one of those discs that rarely goes back into its case...it's one of my standbys to just toss into the dvd player. It doesn't represent every relationship, obviously, and if you go back ... more
Alrighty then, you sold me. It sounds like it's not too in my face and relaxed enough that I won't be turned off by it.
01/17/2012
Contributor: ~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
Quote:
Originally posted by wrmbreze
Same. I enjoy learning about other lifestyles. especially lifestyles that mainstream consider taboo. like mine, I am in an interracial marriage.
I am obsessed with learning about sexual deviance.
01/17/2012
Contributor: Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
Quote:
Originally posted by Rayne Millaray
You guys, really. To-may-toe, to-mah-toe. Obviously, we're all just expressing our opinions here.

If you're really bothered, I'm sorry you feel that way. :/ Feel free to join us at the EdenKink meeting next week where we'll be ... more
I'm going to try and make that - I've dabbled in pet play but it's not my thing as a lifestyle so I'd like to get a better view into it since I'll probably never get to experience it full-on.
01/17/2012
Contributor: wrmbreze wrmbreze
Quote:
Originally posted by ~LaUr3n~
Alrighty then, you sold me. It sounds like it's not too in my face and relaxed enough that I won't be turned off by it.
Something to watch while the kids are asleep or at school tomorrow for me.
01/17/2012