The New Intimacy

Please tell me if I'm wrong.

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Contributor: Miss Anonymous Miss Anonymous
Quote:
Originally posted by LQ
I think you're totally doing the right thing. And you have my respect for making sure this young woman is safe & getting proper medical care & protection rather than just saying "Well let her deal with it." It can definitely be ... more
Thanks for your advice! I'm glad you all agree that I'm doing the right thing. I just thought I should help even if we aren't family. It's overwhelming to me, and I'm not the one needing the BC, so I have she must be stressed.

I agree with you both Leigh and P'Gell. I don't plan on talking about it with anyone.

Iam too on disability, and I don't have co-pays or anything. I was worried about paying too. I don't mind paying for them for her. I figured all clinics would have the sliding scale, because not everyone can afford it. I did call a clinic to make sure, and they told me she can get a 3 month supply for about 4$, so I was happy about that. We would have to fill the perscription at target. She said not all clinics offer sliding scale. That's crazy.
11/13/2011
Contributor: Miss Anonymous Miss Anonymous
Quote:
Originally posted by Eva Schwaltz
I don't think you are in the wrong, but I think she should have her parent's support.
I agree too, I would love for her to have her parents support. It just isn't going to happen, and she still is going to have sex, so I figured what the hell. I wish I could be in her parents head to see what they are thinking.
11/13/2011
Contributor: Miss Anonymous Miss Anonymous
Quote:
Originally posted by SaMiKaY
She is trying to do the right thing. Whether or not she is on BC, she is going to have sex. Stopping her from protecting herself is ignorant. I am happy you are willing to do this for her...

And please, for people who disagree with me, I ... more
I agree with you 100%
11/13/2011
Contributor: Miss Anonymous Miss Anonymous
Quote:
Originally posted by Sunshineamine
It's perfectly fine for you to take her. If you give her a ride to the clinic big darn deal. You are helping her to make a wiser decision than many teenagers make. Those programs/clinics are around to promote healthy family planning and if ... more
I was lucky, I had supportive parents. I told my mom that I thought I was ready for sex, and she took me to the clinic. It was our secret. She didn't tell my dad. He did later findout when my boyfriend came to visit, and my dad was like NO! they can't share a room! My mom just told him, and he was pissed, BUT he was glad I felt comfortable enough to come to a parent and say something.

I wish her parernts were the same way. I would NEVER trust the pullout method, and you have no idea how much I laughed after reading your post. It was funny because we had just got done talking about it.
11/13/2011
Contributor: Miss Anonymous Miss Anonymous
Quote:
Originally posted by poetprincess
I think its better to be safe then sorry, I had my first kid at 17 I am not saying she ruined my life, but it is not easy being a mom at that young age, people treat you way different then they would if you were a mom in your 30's
I know you may have been scared when you found out at 17! I know know you look at that child and feel nothing but happiness. I don't know many people who had babies early, and feel like the child ruin their life. I do know alot that wish they would have waited. I know it's hard being a mom, I'm not a mother but I'm the oldest of 5 and I was like a mom.

I BOW TO MOTHERS! YOU LADIES ARE THE STRONGEST PEOPLE IN THE WORLD.

But, I'm just trying to avoid that for them too the best way I can. If I don't help, I feel like, I'm telling my brother I don't care. The last thing I want is too she them struggling with a baby.
11/13/2011
Contributor: Miss Anonymous Miss Anonymous
Quote:
Originally posted by poetprincess
I think its better to be safe then sorry, I had my first kid at 17 I am not saying she ruined my life, but it is not easy being a mom at that young age, people treat you way different then they would if you were a mom in your 30's
I know you may have been scared when you found out at 17! I know know you look at that child and feel nothing but happiness. I don't know many people who had babies early, and feel like the child ruin their life. I do know alot that wish they would have waited. I know it's hard being a mom, I'm not a mother but I'm the oldest of 5 and I was like a mom.

I BOW TO MOTHERS! YOU LADIES ARE THE STRONGEST PEOPLE IN THE WORLD.

But, I'm just trying to avoid that for them too the best way I can. If I don't help, I feel like, I'm telling my brother I don't care. The last thing I want is too she them struggling with a baby.
11/13/2011
Contributor: Miss Anonymous Miss Anonymous
Quote:
Originally posted by LilLostLenore
1 they are gunna have sex either way they are horny teens and its just human nature for hormones and wanting to have sex, so 2nd yes u are right get her some birth control take her to a clinic get her a couple books or dvds on safe sex there is so ... more
Gosh, I'm so glad your HPV is gone. I had a friend who delt with that, and I was at every doctor appointment with her. She had to get her cervix frozen, and it was aweful. I was almost crying for her.

I did tell her about all the forms of birthcontrol. She is trying to decide on the pill or shot. I kinda think she's heading in the direction of pills. I know they are going to have sex, and they can tell me they aren't all they want. I'm not that much older then them, and I would have jumped at the chance to have sex. It's even more so because my brother told me they've had sex once before, so it's gonna happen. I rather be safe then sorry.
11/13/2011
Contributor: Miss Anonymous Miss Anonymous
Quote:
Originally posted by aliceinthehole
miss nessa! bless your heart. don't think twice, it's alright.

you are absolutely helping this girl out. if nobody offered condoms or BC, would kids not have sex? NO! they would have unprotected sex, and STDS and unwanted pregnancies ... more
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I will tell her that. I wish I would have said nothing, but I just thought I could talk to her. I too feel like it's my place like you said, because if something happen it affect all of us.
11/13/2011
Contributor: Miss Anonymous Miss Anonymous
Quote:
Originally posted by aliceinthehole
yes, i highly recommend planned parenthood. if there's one in your area, she can get BC there discreetly, i believe.
I'm gonna take her to a planned parenthood. I also found a couple of women clinics. Ones that are ran by women. The workers and the doctors are all women.
11/13/2011
Contributor: Miss Anonymous Miss Anonymous
Quote:
Originally posted by aliceinthehole
*books and DVDs on safe sex*

great idea! you could maybe both learn something from them. i know I personally could. or maybe she could watch them/read about it with her boy.
I'm going to look around and find some good books for them too. I think thats a good idea.
11/13/2011
Contributor: unfulfilled unfulfilled
I think you should go because someone needs to and if they're going to have sex then it needs to be safe sex.
11/13/2011
Contributor: eeep eeep
I think you are right to take her. They are going to have sex either way, and not allowing them to practice safe sex is just asking for disaster. Condoms are only so effective, as is the pill. Make sure they know this (hopefully the free clinic goes over it well), and that they know to use both.
11/13/2011
Contributor: allybee allybee
stay out of it
11/13/2011
Contributor: null null
I agree with P'Gell, it is important that she go and get birth control but be discreet. Think super-sneaky-ninja Planned Parenthood mission, no one can know what was done!
11/13/2011
Contributor: Miss Anonymous Miss Anonymous
Quote:
Originally posted by unfulfilled
I think you should go because someone needs to and if they're going to have sex then it needs to be safe sex.
I agree with you 100%
11/14/2011
Contributor: Miss Anonymous Miss Anonymous
Quote:
Originally posted by eeep
I think you are right to take her. They are going to have sex either way, and not allowing them to practice safe sex is just asking for disaster. Condoms are only so effective, as is the pill. Make sure they know this (hopefully the free clinic goes ... more
I will, I've told my brother I wanted to sit down and talk to him, and her together. But I agree that not helping with be a disater waiting to happen.
11/14/2011
Contributor: Miss Anonymous Miss Anonymous
Quote:
Originally posted by allybee
stay out of it
Why do you think I should stay out of it?
11/14/2011
Contributor: Miss Anonymous Miss Anonymous
Quote:
Originally posted by null
I agree with P'Gell, it is important that she go and get birth control but be discreet. Think super-sneaky-ninja Planned Parenthood mission, no one can know what was done!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA You are too funny! Thanks for your support.
11/14/2011
Contributor: wetone123 wetone123
I think what you are doing is wonderful for the girl and the whole of everyone involved in the family. I agree with P'Gell about keeping all activities secret. When I read her family was Palestinian I worried that they may not support their daughters decisions because of Sharia Law. This could be a dangerous thing for you and the girl if they think this way. Just something to keep in mind.
11/14/2011
Contributor: El-Jaro El-Jaro
Sounds like she could use a trip to Planned Parenthood or something. Make sure she has information to make informed decisions.
11/14/2011
Contributor: married with children married with children
you should not be taking her. That is her parents place, not yours. She is a minor. It would be different if she were an adult, but she is someone else's kid. Have a talk with your brother about condoms. You are related to him, and he is an adult. That way you are not crossing any lines with her parents.
11/14/2011
Contributor: Ms. Spice Ms. Spice
Quote:
Originally posted by wetone123
I think what you are doing is wonderful for the girl and the whole of everyone involved in the family. I agree with P'Gell about keeping all activities secret. When I read her family was Palestinian I worried that they may not support their ... more
except not all Palestinians believe in Sharia law. Middle easterners, be it Christians, Muslims, Hindus, Jews, etc. tend to be more conservative because of their culture, not religion.

but way to go, Miss Nessa! I would have paid a million dollars to have had someone like you in my life
11/14/2011
Contributor: wetone123 wetone123
Quote:
Originally posted by Ms. Spice
except not all Palestinians believe in Sharia law. Middle easterners, be it Christians, Muslims, Hindus, Jews, etc. tend to be more conservative because of their culture, not religion.

but way to go, Miss Nessa! I would have paid a million ... more
Yes, tis true. Just something to keep in mind like I said. I wouldn't want Miss Nessa not to be aware--- in case.
11/14/2011
Contributor: GonetoLovehoney GonetoLovehoney
Quote:
Originally posted by married with children
you should not be taking her. That is her parents place, not yours. She is a minor. It would be different if she were an adult, but she is someone else's kid. Have a talk with your brother about condoms. You are related to him, and he is an ... more
Oi, she doesn't need her parent's permission if she's 16 and above!
11/14/2011
Contributor: wetone123 wetone123
Quote:
Originally posted by married with children
you should not be taking her. That is her parents place, not yours. She is a minor. It would be different if she were an adult, but she is someone else's kid. Have a talk with your brother about condoms. You are related to him, and he is an ... more
In an ideal world everyone should be able to turn to their parents for help. Unfortunately, as a lady who got pregnant at 15, I would have loved for someone like Miss Nessa to have helped me when I had no one to turn to. Every woman, even at a young age should be educated in prevention of pregnancy and disease regardless of what the parents have to say---for safety reasons if nothing else.
11/14/2011
Contributor: wrmbreze wrmbreze
Can she not go to the local Health Department. Thats where they used to go when I was young( not me cuz I knew my mom would kill me if I had sex, LOL)I told my kids if they were thinking about sex to tell me and I would take them to get BC. I have 2 girls and I AM NOT having early grandbabies!
11/14/2011
Contributor: Lindsey123 Lindsey123
It doesn't matter what the age of consent is. I was 14 when I got on the pill. Of course I told my mom because I needed help with my cramps, which was totally true, by the way. But, she thought that if I asked to be on the pill, I should be on it. But, she's 17 and trying to be responsible. Lots of teens aren't and she shouldn't be punished for trying to take responsibility for her actions.
11/14/2011
Contributor: LQ LQ
Quote:
Originally posted by Miss Anonymous
Gosh, I'm so glad your HPV is gone. I had a friend who delt with that, and I was at every doctor appointment with her. She had to get her cervix frozen, and it was aweful. I was almost crying for her.

I did tell her about all the forms of ... more
Semi-digression, but as you say she's trying to decide between the pill & the shot... She might be best trying the pill first & seeing how the hormones effect here if she's able to be responsible about taking it. Getting on the shot, having it disagree with you, & having to wait and wait to feel better is no fun. Just a thought based on my experience.
11/15/2011
Contributor: Shellz31 Shellz31
I'd be doing the same as you are. It's far better to get her on BC than for them to accidentally get pregnant when they aren't ready, old enough or in a position to support a baby yet.

Some parents are dumbasses!
11/15/2011
Contributor: Love Perpetua Love Perpetua
I'm so glad she has you to talk to! I think it is an okay idea for her to get on hormonal birth control, but that is something she needs to discuss with a doctor. I would also advise talking to her and your little brother about using condoms. Condoms are the only thing that protect against pregnancy and STDS. I'd prefer to be doubly protected and use BC and condoms at the same time. Also, in order for BC to be effective she needs to start taking them before they start having sex, and she needs to take them EVERY DAY at exactly the same time.
11/16/2011