Is it hard for you to orgasm?

Contributor: unfulfilled unfulfilled
I've never had an orgasm, and was wondering if others had a hard time getting there as well.
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
Yes
50  (22%)
No
52  (23%)
Sometimes
125  (55%)
Total votes: 227
Poll is closed
10/08/2011
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Contributor: wetone123 wetone123
I did not have a truly sectacular orgasm for the 1st time until I fell madly in love with my 2nd husband at 28. I do not know if it was the love or if he was just a fabulous lover. I am single now, and toys are pretty nice, I've had some good orgasms with toys. Have you tried many toys? Is your husband attentive to your desires? May these be some answers? I wish I could advise you better. Everyone should have an orgasm.

Try to take some private time to yourself, pamper yourself in your favorite manner whether it be a long luxurious bath or just laying in bed. Play with yourself and explore. This is how I had my 1st g-spot orgasm, just a few months ago. I hope this will help you.
10/08/2011
Contributor: Peggi Peggi
Before meeting the guy I am with now, it was difficult to orgasm (if I could at all) with other partners, but whether it is because he just knows what he's doing, can read my body better or WHATEVER the reason, this time around the guy just gets it right! With toys, if I have enough clitoral stimulation I'm usually just fine.
10/08/2011
Contributor: Diabolical Kitty Diabolical Kitty
I've always had a hard time orgasming. I'm having a harder time again now that my relationship is settled down some.
10/08/2011
Contributor: Envy Envy
I couldn't until 21 and with toys, but I can't with a guy it seems. by myself I don't have issues, but I was recently put on new medication and I notice it's been taking longer than usual now....
10/08/2011
Contributor: Dusk Dusk
It can sometimes be difficult on my own but it is almost impossible with a partner.
10/08/2011
Contributor: indiglo indiglo
I pretty much never orgasmed (alone or with a partner) through all of my teens and 20's. Now in my 30's and with my current partner - I pretty much always orgasm, and pretty much always have multiples. Sometimes I still have to work pretty hard to get there (lots of squeezing, etc), but I almost always get there. (When I masturbate alone, it's much harder - I do much better when I'm actually with my man.)

One thing you could look into (if you haven't already) is to make sure there is no medical problem or physical condition making it so you can't orgasm, and make sure you aren't taking any medications that can interfere with orgasm.

Sadly, this is not an uncommon problem for women. I wish you luck in finding your orgasms!
10/08/2011
Contributor: livingadnauseum livingadnauseum
Currently, I am struggling with the capacity to reach orgasm. I have suspicions that the medication I'm on are causing SSRI related sexual dysfunction, but I can't know for certain. There are a bunch of things that can factor into the ability to reach climax, not the least of which being emotional and psychological stress.

It took me a really, really long time to figure out how to orgasm. I even stopped masturbating in my early to mid teens because I couldn't figure out what the point was, how there was possibly any payoff. I thought maybe I was doing something wrong or maybe something was wrong with me and it was just completely frustrating.

The addition of toys was helpful, but even then I never really climaxed. It just gave an added sort of pleasant hum.

I found that the key to my orgasms lie in my head. Vivid erotic fantasies combined with intense clitoral stimulation somehow clicked on the light in my head. I'd imagine the wet flick of a tongue and suddenly that little touch of a vibe would be infinitely more arousing.

I can't speak for experiences with a partner, because I've actually never had sex with a partner before. If, however, you spend any amount of time masturbating I would definitely suggest trying to add in sexy thoughts. It doesn't work for everyone but it definitely helped me.
10/08/2011
Contributor: Redboxbaby Redboxbaby
Quote:
Originally posted by indiglo
I pretty much never orgasmed (alone or with a partner) through all of my teens and 20's. Now in my 30's and with my current partner - I pretty much always orgasm, and pretty much always have multiples. Sometimes I still have to work pretty ... more
I have an extremely difficult time orgasming if I am alone. There is really no point in it for me. It's been like that for at least 5-10 years. However, with my husband, I have no issues.
10/08/2011
Contributor: wrecklesswords wrecklesswords
I usually only have a hard time orgasming if I'm close to my period or if I'm really stressed out and can't seem to focus. It really frustrates my girlfriend because she really enjoys being able to get me off. It just sucks that I'm the most horny around my period and usually about 3-5 days before I start no matter how hard we try, I just can't get off 9 times out of 10.
10/08/2011
Contributor: Beck Beck
I have a hard time sometimes. I find it easier by myself sometimes.
10/08/2011
Contributor: indiglo indiglo
Quote:
Originally posted by Redboxbaby
I have an extremely difficult time orgasming if I am alone. There is really no point in it for me. It's been like that for at least 5-10 years. However, with my husband, I have no issues.
How interesting that you are the same way. It seems strange, but I don't have any complaints about it. I just don't bother with masturbating anymore. LOL Works for me!
10/09/2011
Contributor: Shellz31 Shellz31
I've been lucky - never had any issues having an orgasm ... unless I have had a number of them and come to my limit for that session.

Even if I'm not really in the mood, I can still orgasm with a little visual stimulation to help.
10/09/2011
Contributor: Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama
Quote:
Originally posted by indiglo
How interesting that you are the same way. It seems strange, but I don't have any complaints about it. I just don't bother with masturbating anymore. LOL Works for me!
For the last 30 years or so I could orgasm once (maybe twice) after about 20 minutes of clitoral stimulation from my honey. He has said recently he always knew that I was multi-orgasmic but he just didn't have the stamina to help me get there.

I have short arms so pleasing myself isn't exactly easy for me - haven't done it in years.

HOWEVER....now with the toys - if we start with the bullet - I can have an orgasm in almost under a minute (I'm on my way by the count of three he says) - and if we continue to play with vibrators in different ways - I think I've orgasmed about 15 times (or more?) in about a 45 minute period.

Then I collapse and sleep.

Funny - I've been sleeping a LOT lately!

I will say that we've gone from about 20 minutes once a week to 45 minutes or so twice a day pretty much.


10/09/2011
Contributor: Ryuson Ryuson
I have a very easy time during intercourse with my boyfriend, but on my own it's MUCH more difficult!
10/09/2011
Contributor: unfulfilled unfulfilled
You guys are so helpful. I'm hitting 30 in 2 weeks and I was just wondering if it was me, my age, or what. I'm not on any medication so it's not that. I'm still new to toys so I'm going to keep trying and see if anything helps. The closest I've came was when using the Vibratex Mystic Wand. I need to do a review for that b/c it's my favorite toy. Makes me feel wonderful even if I'm not able to reach orgasm.
10/09/2011
Contributor: wrecklesswords wrecklesswords
Quote:
Originally posted by Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama
For the last 30 years or so I could orgasm once (maybe twice) after about 20 minutes of clitoral stimulation from my honey. He has said recently he always knew that I was multi-orgasmic but he just didn't have the stamina to help me get ... more
That's pretty awesome!

There are definitely days that my girlfriend and I will intend to start a quickie a few hours before she or I has to be at work, and by the time we're finished we're looking at the clock going "shit!! I should have been in the shower 20 minutes ago! hurry!"
10/09/2011
Contributor: Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama
Quote:
Originally posted by wrecklesswords
That's pretty awesome!

There are definitely days that my girlfriend and I will intend to start a quickie a few hours before she or I has to be at work, and by the time we're finished we're looking at the clock going "shit!! I ... more
Thanks - I think it is because vibrators work so well for me. We have talked about if things will slow down more once we catch up from about 30 years of not nearly enough sex.

I do remember as a teenager (who would get beaten by my mom if I got caught masturbating) that I could have 5-6 orgasms if I didn't get caught. Because no one talked to me about sex - I honestly didn't know exactly what I was doing - just that I felt so much better afterwards.

Then again - I'm 51 now and that was a long time ago when sex wasn't discussed nearly as much as it is now.
10/09/2011
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by unfulfilled
I've never had an orgasm, and was wondering if others had a hard time getting there as well.
Not since I stopped taking the pill...apparently anything that messes with my estrogen levels not only kills sensation but actually upps desire so I get really mean and desperate really fast. After a month or so of going nutz though my entire desire to do ANYTHING waned to the point I wasn't even wanting to get out of bed....but I wasn't depressed. NOT a good experience.
10/09/2011
Contributor: Anjulie Anjulie
Quote:
Originally posted by Shellz31
I've been lucky - never had any issues having an orgasm ... unless I have had a number of them and come to my limit for that session.

Even if I'm not really in the mood, I can still orgasm with a little visual stimulation to help.
I've never had an issue either
10/09/2011
Contributor: KrazyKandy KrazyKandy
If the tv is on I cant because I get distracted
10/09/2011
Contributor: Antipova Antipova
I'm one of the lucky ones, and orgasms come to me easily. Faster with a partner then when alone (solo sessions not involving anal are usually around 20 minutes, while sex with a partner I can usually orgasm in around 5 at the fastest, or have multiples and keep going for a long while), but it works reliably both ways.

Good job for taking control and trying to learn about your body with toys, and best of luck to you in your hunt!
10/09/2011
Contributor: domsub1993 domsub1993
Yes, I have to really work for an orgasm. Sometimes I am just too lazy.
10/09/2011
Contributor: The Curious Couple The Curious Couple
It depends on the situation. My fiancee seems to always be able to cum no problem, but if I've already cum a few times that day it can be a little difficult.
10/09/2011
Contributor: PiratePrincess PiratePrincess
It's much harder for me when I'm stressed out.
10/09/2011
Contributor: Rossie Rossie
Quote:
Originally posted by unfulfilled
You guys are so helpful. I'm hitting 30 in 2 weeks and I was just wondering if it was me, my age, or what. I'm not on any medication so it's not that. I'm still new to toys so I'm going to keep trying and see if anything helps. ... more
You should get an insertable g-spot toy, and try it along with your Mystic Wand. Although clitoral stimulation is important, additional sensory play on the g-spot is crucial for some women to achieve orgasms. Find some alone time, have your bottle of lube ready, relax and play with the toys patiently. Try different moves with your g-spot toy, I'm sure you'll achieve orgasm in no time!
10/09/2011
Contributor: arewehavingfun? arewehavingfun?
It is interesting that no men answered this question and I recently read something about men over 50, especially those with ED, also have problems orgasming, although it is not talked about because of how much men tie their "manhood" into their sexual functioning.
10/10/2011
Contributor: RosesThorns RosesThorns
More often than not I don't have an issue but if I wasn't really in the mood or I just don't really get into it then I have issues.
10/10/2011
Contributor: mistressg mistressg
It depends. If we just jump straight into sex - no foreplay, no toys - then yeah, more often than not I'll have a hard time. Usually it takes a lot of foreplay and oral to give me an orgasm, or to make it easier for me to orgasm from penetration.
10/12/2011
Contributor: Starkiller87 Starkiller87
For gspots I seem to only be able to reach them after my period. But for clitoral I can easily reach them any time.
10/12/2011