idk if i would consider hand holding cheating, but i would definitely NOT be ok w/ it. if this was happening, then clearly there must be a problem somewhere that isn't being discussed. i also don't think flirting is cheating, but depending on how he's flirting, i could have a real problem w/ it.

Same here.

All of it if they don't tell their partner.

Being in a hedonistic relationship, we love having company. My thing is the honesty. Dan likes to chat, but when it's a secret, that's cheating. He once asked me if a women walked up and asked for 10 bucks in exchange for oral sex, I told him go for it (and try to video it on the phone, I am a voyeur). In the same situation, if he kept it a secret, that's cheating. No matter what it is, dishonesty is cheating.

Okay, we are BOTH answering this...Mr. and Mrs.

We agree fully that CHEATING is whatever you do with a person outside the relationship, that you would NOT want your significant other to see, be aware of, or know happened. If you could do activity X, Y or Z with your significant other right there, and you KNOW it would be cool...then in your relationship, that is NOT cheating. If you would NEVER do it with them there...then it IS cheating.

WE would not want our partner giving anyone else a kiss on the mouth. Period. For us...that WOULD be cheating.

HOWEVER, we have friends (in a business where there is a lot of hugging and kissing) and they kiss all their "good" customers...often with a real MOUTH kiss. For them, it is just NOT cheating..it is "their world" as they say it.

Thus, where the LINE is drawn may be variable, but you BOTH should be on the same page of where that line is.

For it to be cheating this obviously can't be one sided. If the girl comes up to the boy and kisses him (unannounced), he didn't cheat, the girl is just.. something else.... but that does deserve reprimand!

For my marriage situation... My husband and I have a sexually open marriage. What this means is either of us seperate or together can have any level of sex with anyone we choose provided that; The other spouse must know about it before it happens, must agree that its ok, that it will only be of a non-emotional sexual nature and that if either spouse says "no" then it wont happen period... and that there wont be any arguement over it. This has worked well for us and I think keeps both the excitement and fun going as well as eliminates the probability that either will ever "cheat" behind the others back. Been married for 14 years and doing this for a little over 7. No issues, no problems and a lot of fun. About 80% of our play is mfm with both of us together - the rest is me playing with a boytoy now and then. My husband has only had sex 1 time with another woman and that was in a mfmf while I was right there. We also do an after action review after each time it happens and share our thoughts and feelings about what and who, and if we are both still good with continuing to do it. So no - We dont consider it cheating.