The New Intimacy

What things do you consider as cheating?

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Contributor: King Tony King Tony
Quote:
Originally posted by sexysweetieshan
Luckily my husband has never cheated on me, and I have never cheated on him. We have however discussed what we consider as cheating. We have SLIGHTLY different views on what is cheating, but not too much. I personally consider the smallest things ... more
I think it really depends on the relationship that you guys have. How strong it is, how much you care for each other, the boundaries that you have in place, and ultimately, how much you trust one another.

Personaly for me (and I might get a lot of flack for this but) The worst cheating that I can't stand and won't tolerate is the one where there's a bond that has been built. So you better undestand, I mean the friend of the opposite sex that one may chose to confide in. If you can share with that person things you can't with your significant other, then you need to just be with them instead lol.

But like I said, that's just me lol.
08/12/2010
Contributor: King Tony King Tony
Quote:
Originally posted by petite-n-sweet
Yeah, I agree with what Airen is saying...

For me, cheating is an infringement on the emotional attachment between two people.. In some cases flirting can be cheating, and other times all out sex is not cheating.. In my relationship, we are ... more
Exactly!!! Oh man I've waited forever and a day for someone to see it the same way as me. Thanks! You just made my day lol. "In my relationship, we are two souls joined together.. when our souls wander off to someone else's territory then its cheating". Now that's real food for thought. I have to show some for that.
08/12/2010
Contributor: Kindred Kindred
I didn't select flirting, because I interpreted that as "playful" flirting that I consider innocent. However, if it's flirting with hopes of more, then I would consider that cheating because it's intentional.
08/12/2010
Contributor: sexysweetieshan sexysweetieshan
Quote:
Originally posted by King Tony
I think it really depends on the relationship that you guys have. How strong it is, how much you care for each other, the boundaries that you have in place, and ultimately, how much you trust one another.

Personaly for me (and I might get a ... more
I agree. Cheating is an emotional thing too. If you can't be open and honest 100% with the person you're with, yet will tell other people secrets or things you have not told your significant other, then there's a problem there. Totally agree.
08/13/2010
Contributor: Liz2 Liz2
I see emotional affairs as also cheating. We have a sense of trust between us but my b/f is OK with me flirting and also loves to watch me dance.
08/13/2010
Contributor: NightNight NightNight
I don't think of "sex" as cheating but "making love" outside of our relationship (and that means besides other people we've brought into our relationship) would hurt my feelings.
08/14/2010
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by petite-n-sweet
Yeah, I agree with what Airen is saying...

For me, cheating is an infringement on the emotional attachment between two people.. In some cases flirting can be cheating, and other times all out sex is not cheating.. In my relationship, we are ... more
Basically if you are cheating your partner out of a piece of yourself or an experience you have had then you are cheating. There are times a conversation could be cheating depending on the circumstance and can be as devastating to a relationship as sexual contact cheating. It's ok to not tell everything but if it is something that takes your emotional or physical focus away from your partner(s) and you can't or won't share it then you have cheated your partner(s).
08/15/2010
Contributor: NightNight NightNight
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
Basically if you are cheating your partner out of a piece of yourself or an experience you have had then you are cheating. There are times a conversation could be cheating depending on the circumstance and can be as devastating to a relationship as ... more
I completely agree with that.
08/15/2010
Contributor: Rayne Millaray Rayne Millaray
Doing any of those things without telling me about it. We're both consenting adults. M can do whatever he wants with whoever he wants, so long as he's honest about it.
08/15/2010
Contributor: RosesThorns RosesThorns
realistically I think cheating is when there isn't expressed permission.
08/21/2010
Contributor: ~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
The things I checked are those that I conciser cheating under every circumstance, the rest depend on the intention. I have considered even just lying cheating.
08/22/2010
Contributor: sexysweetieshan sexysweetieshan
Quote:
Originally posted by ~LaUr3n~
The things I checked are those that I conciser cheating under every circumstance, the rest depend on the intention. I have considered even just lying cheating.
Oh, I absolutely hate being lied to. To me that's almost worse than cheating in some ways. I get upset even over the stupidest little lies. But that's what they are. Lies.
08/22/2010
Contributor: kinky girlfriend kinky girlfriend
Quote:
Originally posted by sexysweetieshan
Luckily my husband has never cheated on me, and I have never cheated on him. We have however discussed what we consider as cheating. We have SLIGHTLY different views on what is cheating, but not too much. I personally consider the smallest things ... more
lol I"m not in the mood for thinking and then I got confused after my post so I deleted it.Tried to answere just too many other things on my mind. I was going to edit and re think wat I said but just decided to delete it lol.
08/22/2010
Contributor: Timaree Timaree
here's a column on whether or not online infidelity counts as cheating link
08/24/2010
Contributor: VampKitty VampKitty
My rule in relationships is you can look but not touch. I really don't like people who cheat. It hurts to much.
08/24/2010
Contributor: jennydanger jennydanger
my view is quite stringent:

I have always said that anything my guy would not do to his own mother is cheating in my eyes. And looking at a woman in a way he wouldnt look at his mom is cheating to. Or anything he wouldnt think about his mother.. etc.

I am hugely territorial, not jealous. The difference for me is that if he WANTS to be with another woman so badly, go ahead, but dont come back.

Strangely, now that i am with this guy, I almost never even notice other men at all. I am so completely captured by him, and my needs are met. I hope he feels that way in return.

I know that men will notice other attractive women, and I am ok with that, but if he begins to undress her with his eyes- nuh-uh.
08/24/2010
Contributor: Avant-garde Avant-garde
I think what constitutes as cheating should be what the parties dictate is cheating.
08/24/2010
Contributor: TheCleansing TheCleansing
Just don't do to others what you wouldn't want your partner to do to you.
08/25/2010
Contributor: sexysweetieshan sexysweetieshan
Quote:
Originally posted by jennydanger
my view is quite stringent:

I have always said that anything my guy would not do to his own mother is cheating in my eyes. And looking at a woman in a way he wouldnt look at his mom is cheating to. Or anything he wouldnt think about his ... more
I love the way you view things. That's awesome. I'll have to remember that. Anything you won't do with your mother is cheating. Haha.

I know what you mean though, I rarely even notice other men anymore. I just don't care. I have who I want and I (just like you) hope my man feels the same way.
08/25/2010
Contributor: butterflygirlxo butterflygirlxo
kissing, lying, intercourse, oral, everything basically!
09/19/2010
Contributor: Persephone's Addiction Persephone's Addiction
I can't include flirting, because I don't see the harm in playful flirting. Maybe because I do it all the time, so it has to be ok! lol
While "holding hands" may sound like a silly thing to include, you're not going to be holding hands with someone unless there is an emotional attachment there, and that's crossing a line.
And since I consider that crossing a line, it goes without saying that everything escalating beyond that point is also verboten!
10/01/2010
Contributor: Jenniae09 Jenniae09
My partner currently and states he always will talk to a girl he "really loves". They've never been together, they are only friends.
It's more than just flirting too, they both full out discuss what they would do if he wasn't with me. I know they do not do anything together.
I feel saying you would do things with someone you know but go about saying you won't because you have a partner is great, but also can give a flag at the same time.
10/01/2010
Contributor: mrs.mckrakn mrs.mckrakn
if our being intimate with someone, weather is emotional intimacy or sexual. its cheating. sex/touching isnt the only thing that should be concidered cheating. theres always more.
10/03/2010
Contributor: Alicia Alicia
Quote:
Originally posted by jennydanger
my view is quite stringent:

I have always said that anything my guy would not do to his own mother is cheating in my eyes. And looking at a woman in a way he wouldnt look at his mom is cheating to. Or anything he wouldnt think about his ... more
Wow, that is pretty strict! I can definitely say that I have looked at men in ways I would not look at my father..doesn't mean that I want to do anything with those men, but I have looked at other men and found them to be sexy, something I do not do when looking at my father. I think it's a fair bet that almost every man has looked at a woman other than his spouse/girlfriend in a way that's different than his mother, and it's kind of unreasonable to expect them not to. I think that just leads to men feeling the need to keep things from their partners because they're being held to a standard that they just can't meet.
10/03/2010
Contributor: mnc5051 mnc5051
Quote:
Originally posted by El-Jaro
I've stuck with "If you wouldn't do it in front of your partner, it's cheating (unless there's permission)". Forgiveness is better than holding a grudge in most cases.
Great way of putting it. I strongly agree!
11/03/2010
Contributor: mnc5051 mnc5051
Quote:
Originally posted by Victoria
I was just about to say that - emotional / intimacy is just as real to me as something psychical.
Agreed!
11/03/2010
Contributor: LavenderSkies LavenderSkies
All of those EXCEPT flirting.
11/30/2010
Contributor: fghjkl fghjkl
I checked off holding hands and closed mouth kissing but it all depends. Sometimes I hold hands with my friends because of something random and that's not cheating. Sometimes I closed mouth kiss my friends and family because I'm Acadien french and it's kind of a thing we do I guess.
12/01/2010
Contributor: Lindz86 Lindz86
I`m not sure where I stand on cheating and how far one can go before it`s considered cheating...I will say if I found my man holding another womans hand walking down the street, I`d be pretty pissed. Flirting is mostly fun, I`ll admit I can flirt...but at the same time I know when to stop, and I have a pretty damn good view on when it breaches a certain level that I know would make my partner uncomfortable and vice versa. As long as it doesnt cross that line, I`d say it`s ok.
12/01/2010
Contributor: UnknownGirl UnknownGirl
It's funny, even though I voted that open-mouth kissing and oral are both cheating, I would be far more upset if I caught a guy kissing another person than if I caught him with his cock in her mouth. I guess I just feel kissing is more intimate. Strange, huh?
12/01/2010