The New Intimacy

How much sex education is enough for our children in the school setting.

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Contributor: MnWolf MnWolf
With times changing like they are, we have controversy in what should and shouldn't be taught in school to our children. It is common knowledge that the schools are still pushing for abstinence and that sex should wait till marriage. We know that kids are not waiting, they are experimenting, trying, and doing other things. If schools are unable to teach more then the basics of sex and the human body, and "most" parents are unwilling to engage their child(ren) in more then the basics, are some of the problems kids have with sex and sexuality not a direct reaction of our lack of openness.

What are some of your thoughts and feelings on sexual education in the school setting, and at home!
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
What schools teach is enough... I learned the hard way my children can too!
9
What are you NUTS...!
6
Schools should provide more education on sex and sexuality
261
Total votes: 276 (275 voters)
Poll is closed
08/08/2010
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Contributor: MnWolf MnWolf
What are some changes you would like to see, more, less. What about civil laws that need to be addressed so that parents could talk to their children without risk.

I know this could be a slippery slope but, still the same... The attitudes on sex and sexuality and all the rest of the emotional ties that go into it do need to be addressed. How can this be done in a country that is still in the stone age in regards to the subject?
08/08/2010
Contributor: El-Jaro El-Jaro
I'm a big proponent of Charter schools. I'm not a fan of morals and beliefs taught in schools, those belong outside of the curriculum.
08/08/2010
Contributor: Annemarie Annemarie
I think it should be left at home for each parent to decide how they want their kid to find out about it. The choice is simple.

If I had a kid, I would tell them everything and let them make up their own mind. My parents pushed abstinence, and obviously it didn't work.

Schools should not be in charge of this. If a kid's parents are lazy and don't deal with the situation and the kid ends up pregnant/with an std/whatever, it's the parent's fault. You teach your kids not to put their hands on the hot stove, you teach your kids not to stick their dick in the wrong place. It's that simple.

(I do not mean to offend anyone with this post. I'm very passionate about how parenting should be handled, as it was truly mishandled in my situation.)
08/08/2010
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Quote:
Originally posted by El-Jaro
I'm a big proponent of Charter schools. I'm not a fan of morals and beliefs taught in schools, those belong outside of the curriculum.
I agree - schools are unable to account for the huge variety of family values that run from libertarian to orthodoxy. We cannot sub-contract the raising of our children to schools - it's our responsibility as parents to do this work.
08/08/2010
Contributor: Owl Identified Owl Identified
Okay seriously, I laughed out loud at "What are you NUTS?" as an option. I heard someone in my head saying this frantically and shaking someone by the shoulders and it was kind of awesome.
08/08/2010
Contributor: Owl Identified Owl Identified
Quote:
Originally posted by Annemarie
I think it should be left at home for each parent to decide how they want their kid to find out about it. The choice is simple.

If I had a kid, I would tell them everything and let them make up their own mind. My parents pushed abstinence, ... more
If a kid's parents are lazy and don't deal with the situation and the kid ends up pregnant/with an std/whatever, it's the parent's fault. You teach your kids not to put their hands on the hot stove, you teach your kids not to stick their dick in the wrong place. It's that simple.

The only problem here is the obvious, which is you are condemning children for their parents mistakes. It is far from rational to say "let her get pregnant at 15, THAT will teach her parents!" Meanwhile, she drops out of school to have a child and the rest of her life is changed completely. All of this in a (possibly unsuccessful) attempt to teach her parent a lesson. makes no sense. Children can't be sacrificed to prove a point of principle.

Children should not have to pay for the foolishness of their parents with their education, their health, or even their lives. We live in an age where HIV/AIDS is at a pandemic level and allowing even one child to become infected for the sake of teaching the parents a lesson is condemning countless others to death by infection via this single child.
08/08/2010
Contributor: SydVicious SydVicious
Quote:
Originally posted by Gunsmoke
I agree - schools are unable to account for the huge variety of family values that run from libertarian to orthodoxy. We cannot sub-contract the raising of our children to schools - it's our responsibility as parents to do this work.
I agree.. we need to teach our kids and not leave it up to the schools, but It doesn't hurt to go through sex ed classes at school. I very strongly believe that the way that parents teach or don't teach their children about sex has a big impact on the way the child views sex. I think talking about abstinence is a great thing, but I also think that focusing on safe sex and a healthy body image is important too.
08/08/2010
Contributor: El-Jaro El-Jaro
I also think it's pretty naive for parents to think that their kids will listen to them. Last time I checked, teenagers aren't the best at planning ahead and can be sorta impulsive. Better to give them info and have them not need it instead of not giving them the info they may need.
08/08/2010
Contributor: Midway through Midway through
Parents shouldn't rely on schools to teach the kids.
08/08/2010
Contributor: El-Jaro El-Jaro
Quote:
Originally posted by Midway through
Parents shouldn't rely on schools to teach the kids.
huh?

This confuses me...
08/09/2010
Contributor: joja joja
Well, being the pinko-commie liberal that I am, I believe schools should not only teach kids how to have sex safely (in both physical and emotional terms), but educate them about their own anatomy and perhaps even pleasure. I was completely flabbergasted at some of the questions that were asked in my high school sex ed class - and that there was not a single mention of the clitoris the entire semester. It was pretty upsetting.
08/09/2010
Contributor: MnWolf MnWolf
Great going so far guys and gals!

I knew this would be one that had the possibility to rattle a few feathers, but still the same, ok, here we are all talking and answering questions about sex and what we like what we don't like. What we know and what we wish we knew more about. I am glad that this got the attention so far and I hope even more will add their .02 to it as well.

The problem is I have seen in my past men.. women... boys... and girls that had no clue as to what was going on with their bodies at different times, I just think that if we are to be a "positive nation" in regards to all things, then why is it that sex is still one thing that no one is willing to talk about.

Some say schools have no right to teach it, and it should lay on the parents hands to do so. What happens when there is a teen that doesn't know something, and really has no one to talk to about things that are happening to them. The parents refuse to talk about sex and the school just touches the basics... I have delt with teens like this in the past... it is sad, to be just a friend and find they would rather talk to you about things then talk to their own parents.

To some degree I think the school should not just leave our kids hanging, but that is just my point of veiw! What does everyone else think?
08/09/2010
Contributor: Andromeda Andromeda
Y'know, I'm not going to comment on the actual question in the poll, but I will say this....

"Sex ed" for me started in 3rd grade in very vague details, then continued in 5th grade (I had switched schools in 4th) in greater depth, then by the time I got to high school... well yeah. I wouldn't say any of them were pushing for abstinence, but rather emphasized safe sex. The only year I went through the whole "abstinence until marriage" sex ed class was the year I was in a private Catholic school. Seriously, my cousin who is only a few years younger than me saw a demonstration of how to put on a condom (a banana was used) when he was in the 6th grade and was taught even more than I was.

Apparently it isn't common knowledge that schools are still pushing for abstinence until marriage... you should try telling my old schools lol. Perhaps this is simply less of an issue in my state, though?
08/09/2010
Contributor: deadpoet deadpoet
Sex Ed sucked in my school. In a whole tri, we only got as far as STDs. That was it. My teacher was the football coach and didn't seem to care what the hell he taught us. It was a little upsetting
08/09/2010
Contributor: deltalima deltalima
I learned through school and media. It was less embarrassing to be with friends and able to laugh it off than with parents.
08/09/2010
Contributor: Envy Envy
Schools really need to step it up. And I also think they should get parents more involved. My dad outright told me it the was my school's responsibility to teach me, and all they did was talk about the anatomy, meiosis, and STDs.
08/09/2010
Contributor: El-Jaro El-Jaro
Quote:
Originally posted by joja
Well, being the pinko-commie liberal that I am, I believe schools should not only teach kids how to have sex safely (in both physical and emotional terms), but educate them about their own anatomy and perhaps even pleasure. I was completely ... more
*high fives fellow "commie liberal"*

Education isn't bad, what a person does with that knowledge is up to them" - I'm sure someone smart than I has said that in the past.
08/09/2010
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by Annemarie
I think it should be left at home for each parent to decide how they want their kid to find out about it. The choice is simple.

If I had a kid, I would tell them everything and let them make up their own mind. My parents pushed abstinence, ... more
Far from offending me I have to agree with you. It is MY responsibility to pass my moral beliefs on to my offspring not the community but then again I am one who believes the community shouldn't be on the hook for children born to underage kids. That should also be the parent's responsibility. If the parents doesn't take responsibility then the community should step in, not trample all over the parent first to "prevent" the problem. I don't want my children taught that oral sex is an acceptible form of birth control or that anal sex is 100% pregnancy free...three teens got pregnant that way last year it's NOT acceptible BC. I haven't taught my kids the hard line of abstinence until an arbitrary time but rather abstinence until THEY decide they are ready. We talk and I educate them naturally, then again they are homeschooled and this would be one reason why.
The worksheets passed off as "health" classes are just short of scandalous! One of them was even reprinted from a Mormon site complete with copyright info. Now I am not against Mormonism but I do think it's unacceptable proselytizing in a room full of all faith children. I mean telling children who might be raised Atheist or Pagan or any number of other faiths that God has annointed sex and it is sinful to have it outside of marriage, in fact extramarital sex will lead to death, is shameful! It is, however, acceptible to our local school board.
Ah well all I can really do is follow my conscience and do what I think is right.
08/09/2010
Contributor: MnWolf MnWolf
So many votes already and not many posts.... Well that is one reason I decided to hide the results.

I think it is somewhat safe to say that for most of us on here, we feel it is the right of the parents to teach sex and sexuality in the home... Correct...?

Now, Don't get me wrong.. I follow this train of thought as well .. But for those of us the do believe this, if the schools would step up and take more of a realistic approch to sex, on a national level... I know that some public schools teach more then others, but if it was standardized, the whole ball of wax, from early age though high school. Would this be so bad ... ?

I see the only problem being are the ones that are forbidded due to religion... WOW, Sorry that just kills me, that some parents would stop their child from leaning something, that in real life latter on could very well save their life. How about for these people, fine their child can be excused from the class and teachings, then the resposibility would go to the parents to deliever the materials themselves, but the student was still required to take the tests and quizes......?

Any new thoughts on this idea...?
08/09/2010
Contributor: Blinker Blinker
Kids are starting puberty earlier and earlier. A bit was on CNN HLN today about some girls as young as 7 starting their periods. SCHOOLS NEED TO STOP BEING SO GODDAMN MORAL AND STARTED ACTUALLY EDUCATING THE CHILDREN ABOUT SEX AND WHAT NOT TO DO. Everyone knows the only real advice is given in the back of the bus, so to speak. Children are not as innocent and ignorant as some people want to believe! We really need to educate children in the proper setting with FACTUAL information, not the bullshit about peepees and weewees.
08/09/2010
Contributor: Owl Identified Owl Identified
Quote:
Originally posted by joja
Well, being the pinko-commie liberal that I am, I believe schools should not only teach kids how to have sex safely (in both physical and emotional terms), but educate them about their own anatomy and perhaps even pleasure. I was completely ... more
Woohoo, hooray pinko-commie liberals! What with our bleeding hearts and hatred of freedom and such.
08/09/2010
Contributor: Passionate Pastor Passionate Pastor
Sex should be taught simply as a biological fact. Kids should be encouraged to talk with their parents about sexuality and sexual choices.
08/09/2010
Contributor: Kim! Kim!
Clearly the current system is not working. (Yes, tonight I will be your Captain. My name is Captain Obvious and I hope that enjoy your trip.) I am trying to keep things fairly open between my son and I so that when he gets older he is comfortable enough to ask me questions. Currently he has no problem talking about his penis. Or people's boobs. In public. (Yes, we keep having talks about what is and what isn't appropriate.) He knows the difference between boys and girls and we use correct names for body parts (Well, other than boobs, that wasn't on purpose. He just picked up the word "boob" from around him. I have 3 sisters who were all in high school when he was born and we lived in an apartment off of my step mom's house, where they all lived. Boob isn't awful. It's words that try and hide the reality of things that bother me.) Sorry, I'm rambling.

Yes, it is the job of the parent or parents to teach children about sexuality, but schools should present things a bit more matter-of-factly. I remember in 5th grade we were talking about the system of the body. We got the reproductive system and were simply told that it creates offspring and to go home and ask our parents if we wanted to know more. It was the same year that we got the "period talk". So we could know about periods but we couldn't really know the purpose that they serve??
08/09/2010
Contributor: PassionQT PassionQT
I'm compensating for what school isn't teaching my oldest, which is what a parent should do, since schools are limited in what they can teach.

I just asked her what she remembered from what they taught her and she said in family life in 6th grade, they mostly talked about STDs, and things she already knew.
08/10/2010
Contributor: ScottA ScottA
Schools have a limited time and teach what politicians and the school board (what a thankless job that is!) tell them to teach.

Playing a mind game here: What do you think it would be like to be a junior high health teacher. You get to teach 30+ kids who you might never have met before about sex. I think that would qualify as a nightmare for me anyway. The parents at least know their kid and don't have to worry about a mob of parents lining up outside the school entrance with torches and pitchforks (or flashlights and lawnmowers, or whatever a mob would use now).
08/10/2010
Contributor: Andromeda Andromeda
It's true that public schools are limited in what they can teach by politics and the school board. Really, it DOES come down to the parents. By the time I started real sex ed in the 5th grade, I had already had the talk with my mom, so school didn't teach me anything new. And even by the time my mom and I had the talk, I already knew the gist of it (granted I had gotten a whole lot of misinformation as well) because kids were talking about sex by the 3rd and 4th grade.

I don't think the school system will ever teach as much as some may want it to, because it really is the decision of the parents as to how much they want their children to know. It's unfortunate that some parents avoid the topic altogether, though, I'll admit that.
08/10/2010
Contributor: anelinvader anelinvader
a scool can only teach so much as long as there are close minded parens that thing that there kid will not have sex at 15 or some times younger and in that case the rest of us more open minded ones need to do all we can to teach and prais safe sex rules if they are going to ingage in it.
08/10/2010
Contributor: MnWolf MnWolf
Quote:
Originally posted by anelinvader
a scool can only teach so much as long as there are close minded parens that thing that there kid will not have sex at 15 or some times younger and in that case the rest of us more open minded ones need to do all we can to teach and prais safe sex ... more
Good point..!

Is it possible to give the children too much information though...?
08/11/2010
Contributor: Andromeda Andromeda
Quote:
Originally posted by MnWolf
Good point..!

Is it possible to give the children too much information though...?
I think so. I may be alone in thinking this, but I think a person's sexuality is a VERY personal thing, and it should be something that he/she explores and learns without too much outside influence. When I say sexuality, I'm not limiting it to their choice in partner, but their preferences in sexual activity among other things as well... within reason. I mean as long as it doesn't involve breaking any laws or anything lol. There are some things you need to figure out on your own through trial and error.
08/11/2010