I think anxiety about how our bodies look is near-universal for women. There's always something that's less than ideal. Even though I'm thin and exercise a lot, I would be nervous to be naked in front of a man for the first time. My breasts are so small! OK, flat. It might look like I have tiny bumps in my videos, but that's only because I wear a bra with enough padding to stop bullets.

Plus there's a layer of cellulite that has always been on my thighs and is impossible to get rid of. Even when I was really sick and dropped to 90 pounds it was still there! Piling on muscle underneath the cottage cheese helps - when clothes are on.

Plus I have a large clitoris and labia. No one's ever commented on it but I'm self conscious about it. Even as a little girl I noticed that I was bigger there than other girls.

Have you ever heard of [this|link] book before? A lot of my big friends highly recommend it for a fat/size positive resource. They have said that reading other fat/big/curvy women share the same fears and stories of shaming, humiliation and self-loathing broke down the sense of isolation that for them was really painful. The book is Fat!So? and it comes from the fat positive movement and one woman deciding to ask a very important question: So you're fat...what's the big fucking deal?

Searching for fat/size positive communities online can be a great way to bolster your self esteem. I have had an eating disorder since I was 9 years old. I'm not exaggerating - I was NINE years old when I began drastically restricting my intake to the point of teachers forcing me to leave school and not come back in without a doctor's note. I thought I was fat and I was little pre-pubescent waif. And as a thin girl that still struggles to resist the habits of anorexia? Every time I hear a fat joke I cringe. Because I know that I am only beautiful and valuable as long as I'm thin and pretty. People help me find clothes in stores, but if I weighed 20 pounds more they wouldn't. The conductors on trains let me get away with forgetting my ticket, but they would simply kick me off at the next stop if I were bigger. It doesn't help my confidence to get treated well when I know it's because of my weight - which is an ever changing thing, and is not a product of my character, but an accident of biology for the most part.

In our society, women are taught that the less space they take up the better. Cross your legs - the guy next to you? Nah, he sits with his legs open, proud, full of confidence and the entitlement toward that space. Flatten and straighten the hair on your head, don't let it get "nappy" or too "unruly" - same for the hair on your body. The guy next to you? His afternoon shadow and hairy chest are masculine, strong, desirable. And while men do also suffer from fatphobia, women feel the sting extra hard because their bodies are constantly being policed and scrutinized in an extreme way. Even when a woman runs for political office - fucking presidential hopeful HILLARY CLINTON got scrutinized and criticized for her fat thighs, overly "masculine" dress style and face lift. Sad, really. My personal opinion? Take up all the fucking space you want, and anyone that can't deal with that? Tough shit. The trouble is convincing yourself that you DESERVE to take up that space.

So don't EVER feel like you're going crazy or that you're unstable emotionally or mentally for living in a society that constantly puts you down, tells you that you are less than. If anything, it's kind of a miracle that you are able to pursue a loving, healthy relationship with your partner and yourself in the face of all that. If anything, congratulate yourself on not allowing horrible, hateful, fatphobic people to halt your desire to experience pleasure and love and happiness and joy with your own body. I certainly congratulate you, and I wish you a lot of luck in your journey. I really do.

I've been with my partner for about five months now and I've been naked several times in front of him. I didn't feel like this when we first got together but the problem has come up as of late. I've been off of birth control and my body is all out of whack. It sucks and it just breaks my heart that I feel that way

My mother had small breasts, about the size of mine (which you've all seen before hah) before she had me and my siblings. She breast fed us all, and after that she had no breast tissue - what you describe, just nipples, no fat. I grew up watching men in stores OPENLY make jokes about her body, listen to mothers of other kids at sports events whisper and snicker, and I've even seen her come home from work crying because her coworkers made up nicknames for her "just as a joke". I always tell her she's beautiful, but she says I don't understand. I guess I don't. It sucks though, I wish she could see how beautiful she is - she's so self conscious that she completely overlooks the guys that stare googley eyed at her, you know?

I'm also HIGHLY envious of large labia/clitorises, believe it or not. I also am extremely viscerally attracted to them - I just think they're sexy. I simultaneously want to have large genitals (probably more fun to play with) and also love being with women that have them!

For me, vaginal orgasms took a lot of mental work rather than physical work. I had to get to a point where I would become aroused and then think "Okay, I'm not going to touch my clitoris no matter what." Then I would relax, and just focus on what I felt inside. I had to get the idea that the orgasm was the goal out of my head, and when I finally did that I finally mastered vaginal orgasms (kind of). Even still if I get too focused on cumming I usually can't.

I also have an issue where my vaginal canal is pretty small and a lot of penetration makes me feel raw and uncomfortable after only a few minutes, so I can't enjoy intercourse for that reason too. It takes me a while to get off vaginally from the kind of blunt, non-specific stimulation that a penis offers to my G-spot, but after a little while I usually just want the fucking thing out of me lol.

The good news is you can HAVE an orgasm which is a pretty awesome thing! There are women that are 40 and haven't had one yet...which is a terrible shame! We gotta cut ourselves more slack, Sam!

It made me want to cry reading that. That's exactly what happened to me. I was very small before, but after breastfeeding my son, I'm now flat with ridiculous always-at-attention nipples. My mammograms look like a big swath of muscle, then near clearness that is mostly just flattened skin.

When I was pregnant, I tried a short haircut. Big mistake for a flatty. One time, when I was waiting in a line in a store to buy something, standing sideways to the counter, a 3 yr old girl stared at me and asked her mother "Is he a man or a woman?" As if that weren't bad enough, the mother just said "Shhh!" So the mother couldn't tell either? And I was 5 months pregnant!

I don't think I have a masculine face either. And I'm 5'3" and thin so that should help people classify me correctly. But maybe not with short hair and no makeup.

I completely feel your mother's pain.

Also, if your mother is interested in a recommendation for a padded bra that is super comfortable and totally works for flatties (what I use to give the illusion of small breasts), let me know.

I will have to try that. Too much penetration bothers the hell out of me too. I have no idea how people can have sex for extended periods of time, I would go crazy and need tons of lube. I sometimes envy those who can have lots of long sex. Ours is mostly all foreplay and then 5-10 minutes of actual sex. It works great for us, but sometimes I feel like I should want to go longer.

But you are very right, being able to just have the orgasm is a pretty awesome thing. Here's to cutting ourselves some slack, Owl!

We're so similar! I confess that I don't enjoy oral either. Some men are into it and insist on doing it. Then I lie there mentally rapping my fingers on a table thinking "Are you done yet?" Even with men who are talented and vacuum-cleaner-like, its not enough for me.

The clitoral nubs of rabbits usually overshoot their mark on me too. You might like the Jopen Vr6. That one fits women like us.

This thread is quite therapeutic for me.

This is a great thread for women with insecurities about their bodies. And really, what woman doesn't have an insecurity?

I'll probably come back here with more insecurities, but I'll start with my vagina. I can't have a g-spot orgasm without stimulating my clitoris. I can squirt, but only if my clit is stimulated in order to bring me over the top. I really really want to be able to ejaculate from g-spot stimulation alone. I feel as though my vagina is underdeveloped or that it hasn't reached some final stage in sexual maturity and mastery. Sometimes I think I'm not fit to review dildos.

@VieuxCarre, I'm also ashamed of my body. I have a troubled past with life's battle scars on my heart and on my skin. Summer is awful to me because the heat can make covering up unbearable. I would be embarrassed and ashamed to be naked in front of anyone.

that is his problem, not yours. Don't let him bring down your self confidence and the joy you are feeling in discovering your body and sexuality. I am sure you are a beautiful woman and its his loss if he doesn't want to be intimate with you.


Naughty Student - check into Bacterial vaginosis, BV can cause the symptoms you are describing and is related to unblanaced PH, which can happen after a UTI.

Thank you for that, needed a little shake . I more just want to slap him and say, "hey ummm do you want to sleep on the couch? Ask your friends if they are gettin it as good as you are and then bask in the fact that your wife is incredible" hahahaha

Speaking of vaginas, has anyone ever seen a production of the Vagina Monologues? Now there is a great celebration of female!

LOVE vagina monologues!

Reading this got me so angry! I can't believe those people! Your mother had your best interests and was providing for you. They make jokes about her body?! How insensitive.

Have your partner put his finger on your g-spot until you come clitorally. Amazing amount of fluid! Also, it gets larger the more times you get off per session. Try coming to the brink, stop for a few, about 4-5 times and then let it go.