yes, there is a certain natural odor, but if you feel like it might be a problem check with a gyno and look into BV.

I love my smell, I have never had an issue with it unless its that time of the month. I HATE the smell of the blood, I feel like it follows me everywhere even after a shower I use sea sponge tampons so its not the chemicals from tampons or pads, just that blood odor.

I can relate also on that issue, while I don't have genital herpes, I have another one HPV (human papillomavirus) which causes genital warts (EWWW) and sometimes can cause cancer. I loathe the man who gave it to me and secretly wish his dick would fall off, but my hubby was very understanding of it. While I have only had one outbreak of warts in 14 years, it is still there that I carry this and constantly have to be alert with my vagina.

While we have a medical condition, we are not "unclean". And while sex can be complicated, it will be regardless of having a medical condition or not.

Hugs!

True say. Thanks, lady I got kinda choked up writing my post there and I really appreciate the response <3 I have a ladyfriend who also has HPV and we had some good times commiserating together. Ahhh, life.

This thread really is lovely.

I am actually EXTREMELY particular about environmental stuff with sex as well. I've gotten better over time trying to relax myself, accept and be okay with slight discomfort, etc but I have a tendency to micromanage stuff otherwise I have more trouble staying aroused and getting off.

I think in my case it may come from being a survivor of sexual trauma; there's a certain need to control a lot of little things surrounding the sex and if I feel - as you said - too hot, too cold, in the wrong position, I am snapped out of the moment and the mood. Again, I've been working a lot on letting go of the anxiety that comes with letting go of the illusion of total control, but I do empathize.

I would have to say that the vast majority of my orgasms are blended - equally present in both my clitoris and the urethral sponge area. Take away one kind of stimulation in those situations and the orgasm itself either halts or just lacks. I can achieve quickie clitoral orgasms most anytime, but they aren't as fulfilling for me. However, G-spot orgasms without clitoral stimulation definitely require a special kind of mindset in which I ignore my clitoris - which I have come to think of automatically when it comes time to get off. Are there some women that just do not like G-spot stimulation and never will? Absolutely, and that's more than fine. But if you have enjoyed a blended orgasm than to me (and hey, I'm not a doctor but I do have a vagina) that you are receptive to G-spot stimulation. And that under the right circumstances a G-spot orgasm could be possible for you.

The biggest revelation came for me when I just relaxed and enjoyed how it felt. I know everyone says that, and it's like "I don't want to meditate when I'm masturbating; I WANT TO HAVE AN ORGASM!" I relate to that, I do. But I began to love internal stimulation once I finally set aside time and to be like "Okay, this is not necessarily orgasm time, this is learn about my body/make myself feel good time." It wasn't instantaneous; it happened incrementally over time, and it was well worth it.

Thank you for being brave enough to share this, because even with the anonymity of the internet world I know there must be many people on this site that deal with this and don't feel able to talk about it. Without knowing it, you've probably made at least one or two people feel less isolated in what they're experiencing, and that's pretty awesome.

I do not have herpes or genital warts, but I have quite a number of friends that do. In addition to just being a physically painful affliction, I have seen how it has seriously damaged their self esteem and has inhibited or totally paralyzed their sexual lives (as a result of painful outbreaks, low self esteem or the anxiety of disclosing.) There is one thing I want to share that comes immediately to mind. It is that there are many, many people out there without STIs/STDs share your issue of disclosure. For example, one of my very best friends in the whole world is a trans man. He also has to face the issue of disclosure every time he wants to have a sexual encounter - and due to the issue of violence against trans people, it is not just potentially embarrassing but also potentially fatal for him to "out" himself to a casual, one night stand partner.

I do not mention him to invalidate what you are experiencing - quite the opposite. I mention him because I want you to know how many people out there absolutely need to have conversations before they have sex; it is not "optional" for them. Please don't feel isolated. I also know a young man who was very badly sexually abused during his childhood and he cannot have a sexual encounter without first mentioning this and listing potential triggers - in other words "never say this to me during sex or it will trigger a horrible memory" and things like that. This more or less stops him from being able to have casual encounters as well.

Truth be told, more of us SHOULD be having pre-sex disclosure conversations. There SHOULD be more dialogue surrounding sex, regardless of what prompts it. For you, it is not a choice because you are a respectful, ethical person that values the other person's right to consent to sex with you fully informed. It was something you were denied and do not want to deny anyone else, and that's the way our world should be. But for those of us that feel we have the "choice" not to, we should be doing it anyway. This thread is a perfect example of how much stuff we all have going on in our minds when we have sex, and in a perfect world...if only we could articulate all of this! I hooked up with someone the other day, and it was his first time ever having sex. So we talked a LOT before hand, and it reminded me of how I neglect to fully communicate with partners before hand far too often.

I understand - not firsthand, but intellectually - that this issue of disclosure is a burden for you, but in reality, what you are doing is actually far healthier, safer and respectful than what so many others are. I really have to say I have massive amounts of respect for you and my heart goes out to you because it has been a few of my very good friends and family that I've watched weep over this. Congratulations on your relationship, and the best of luck to you in everything.

Yes.

I totally understand, I had to learn to let go and just let the orgasms happen instead of controlling them. I am also the survivor of sexual abuse and I think that has something to do with it, trusting my husband was a big leap for me. Now I am finally comfortable letting him take total control and dominating me, the orgasms are amazing!

I'm still very much a top by nature - I do not get turned on by being in a submissive roll most of the time. However, I also have 100% MORE fun when I let go and don't try to micromanage every detail. It's difficult, but it's a work in progress.

Also Silvi I loooooooove you so very much !

OMG really :S I will check into it for sure, thanks for the heads up. I will finally have a balanced ph and pussy eating will be back on our sexual menu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!1

Hey Txymxy---

I'm proud of you for sharing, and disclosing to your boyfriend, and living your life.

To minimize your boyfriend's risk a little more, have your doctors recommended the drug that reduces your viral load? I have a dear friend who got herpes, and he now takes (I believe it's a daily pill) which reduces viral shedding to nearly nothing. I don't know it's name offhand, but I could ask him if you want to ask your doctor about it.

Is it possible to have a g-spot orgasm without squirting? I can definitely feel it, but I don't squirt unless I stimulate my clitoris while I get that feeling. I want to be able to squirt without touching my clitoris at all and just get off from the mechanical use of a dildo. Until I do I think I'm going to feel like I'm lacking.

I'm also a survivor of sexual trauma. Joining Eden has really helped me with my body and learning to enjoy it. I never really enjoyed sex and I know it is because of what I've experienced. Even when I had the mindset and desire it was like my body wouldn't forget. I had vaginismus. It was embarrassing not being able to have sex because I was just too tight and closed up. When it came to masturbating not only did I feel guilt over wanting pleasure, but when I actually tried to pleasure myself I'd end up bleeding just by fingering myself with one finger. I guess that's my real vagina confession, although I have almost conquered it. Sometimes I'm tighter than other times and I think that depends on how I am feeling emotionally and subconsciously.

As far as my body goes there are areas I am more self-conscious of of course, like any other woman. I wish my legs were longer and that I was leaner. However, my biggest problem was just hating myself so much after surviving sexual trauma. I'm not overweight, but I think the self loathing is the same. I'd hurt myself for several reasons, but one reason was to make the ugliness I felt inside of me come out. Of course it never did and the relief was only temporary. After lots of therapy, support, trial and error I'm a healthy and stable woman, but I still have my scars. There is a stigma with them. People stare and some even ask how I got them. Once at a party a guy grabbed my arm, looked at the scars on my arm, looked back at me and shook his head without saying a word. I stay covered up all the time now, even in the summer. I feel much better about myself, but the scars will always be a horribly shaming embarrassment and a reminder of how messed up I was.

The closest person to me in the entire world also has this - being covered with scars - and though they are closer to me than anyone else I don't think I'll ever fully understand what caused them to act out against themselves in that way. I will say that it prevents this person from getting jobs, wearing comfortable clothes in warm weather, and many other things. I don't understand it personally, but this is someone I would literally do anything to make okay and whole and it is agonizing to watch them grapple with these permanent reminders of that period of their life. I really can't imagine what that's like to be inside of that experience, I just know that it's horrifying to experience from the outside watching someone you love so much go through it.

I have another friend who has vaginismus who hasn't explicitly stated it but has implied it is a result of trauma. I have given her some toys to use as dilators - mostly very small silicone toys designed for anal beginners like this one. Unfortunately for her, I think her attempts at progress in this area are very erratic because I can see she gets discouraged very easily when she doesn't see results. Her partner is also less than supportive, and I think she very much needs that. I do not have that physical block, but I have plenty of mental blocks as a result of trauma and my heart goes out to you as you struggle with this.

Also, it's very possible to have a G-spot orgasm without squirting! And it's possible to squirt without having an orgasm as well. Vaginas are basically magic, I've determined. They can pretty much do anything they want to.

I am a recovering self injurer, I guess its luck that my scars are not bad, I'm very pale so they are very invisible lines now. I stopped when I got pregnant with my son and had one relapse last year, I have an incredibly supportive husband who helped me get to this point. Its hard to explain why I do it, its like.... I just can't feel anything or cry until I feel that pain and see the blood. I still have some minor SI habits but they aren't as visible so people don't notice. I pick at my scalp until it bleeds, pick at scabs etc. It has lessened a little with my anti-depressants but not a whole lot.

I also was concerned about this in me as well. The first time I squired I was horrified that I had just peed all over the place. It didn't smell like urine, but I was completely embarrassed. I later discovered that it was simply that, squirting and that it was no different than a man cumming. Just in case though, I always pee and wipe well before sex as I want to make sure that squirting is just that.

I also love the comment about vaginas being magical, because they ARE!

I was lucky to feel secure to explore my body when I was 12, I orgasmed for the first time from manual stimulation at that age.

I do agree though that we should have more info!

I was having orgasms very early, I remember having them around 8

now for g-spot and other type of orgasms I didn't discover until I became sexually active.

The flip side is that a penis owner is almost always limited to one-and-done. Vagina owners can have multiple orgasms for prolonged enjoyment - I've all wasy envied my wife's orgasmic advantage!

That friend is lucky to have you. It was really hard to know my pain was also hurting people who loved me. I wanted so badly for someone to understand what I was going through, to not feel alone. I also wanted more than anything to be normal and feel whole, if not for myself than for those who suffered watching me hurt. You may never fully understand it, you are a good friend and support system. That's what matters. Even though my scars are a painful reminder and they prevent me from doing things, when I'm with people who accept me for who I am I forget the scars are there.

When I progressed with getting over vaginismus I had left my fiance, who also wasn't supportive. with him I had mental blocks too. On my own I was able to work at it on my own pace and there were no expectations from anyone else. I've decided to remain abstinent until I am completely comfortable with having sex with someone who understands this condition and loves me no matter what. It was a good decision for me. My ex had really made me feel unattractive and abnormal. He was not a good lover. I never had an orgasm until I joined Eden and began experimenting with toys. I think because I was able to relax on my own. Your friend needs to be really patient with herself. Sometimes I'm too tight and it is discouraging and frustrating, but I have to remember that I'm still improving and it takes time.

Haha, vaginas are magical. Good to know I can have a g-spot orgasm without squirting. I still want to squirt from g-spot stimulation alone. With some practice and magic hopefully I will one day.

oh yes, g-spot orgasms are not magical squirtgasams, I have to have the stimulation JUST right for squirting to happen, and it is never because I am trying.

Not being able to feel is the worst. I haven't relapsed in years, but sometimes I think about self injury a lot. When I do I use some tricks to help, like making the water really cold at the end of a shower or touching ice. Antidepressants are good, but they need to be combined with some sort of therapy, such as cognitive behavioral therapy. You learn how to use other outlets and basically brainwash yourself into thinking differently.