The New Intimacy

How do you prepare for anal sex?

Skip to last post
Set alerts
Updates
Forum search
Contributor: Liz2 Liz2
For most of us, anal sex is not usually a spontaneous decision. To be pleasurable some thought and planning is entailed beyond lots of lube. Though I love anal intercourse, I am not always "just ready" for the experience.
Comments are of course welcome!
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
160
92
151
50
115
8
30
76
37
40
95
19
Total votes: 873 (270 voters)
Poll is open
07/11/2010
  • Complete lovers gift set
  • Treat Her! Gift Set For Women For $69.99 Only
  • Upgrade Your Hands-Free Play!
  • Long-distance pleasure set for couples
  • Save Extra 20% On Love Cushion And Toy Set!
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
All promotions
Contributor: GingerAnn GingerAnn
Insightful breakdown of Anal Sex:

Best anal sex position...
for a beginner? Best friend thinks doggystyle with her husband is too painful, and likes to do it in a spooning position from the side. However,...

I'm curious about basic anal sex and anal toys.
I'm looking for basic anal sex and anal toy information. I'm recently willing to consider risking the sharts. I'm curious about anal sex again since

The first time you tried anal?
How long into the relationship was it before you tried anal sex. Which partner suggested it.

Do any woman "anal Masturbate "?
I am big into anal sex with my husband. I can see how a guy might do anal as part of masturbation, as they have a prostate, but do any WOMAN anal...

How different is pegging from anal sex?
i've been interested in pegging for a long time, and ive only been masturbating anally for a few weeks. how different is pegging from solo play?
07/11/2010
Contributor: Kim! Kim!
Aw this needs an "Other" option! I frequently demand a backrub. No really, it helps me relax and makes everything go much more smoothly!
07/11/2010
Contributor: Alicia Alicia
I chose a lot of things..we joke that all the stars need to align justttt right for it to happen for us.
07/11/2010
Contributor: ~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
Other option?

What I do on a daily basis keeps me comfortable for having anal play or sex pretty much all the time. Just general good hygiene. Then add warm up in terms of relaxation, prior play, or an anal spray.
07/11/2010
Contributor: Alicia Alicia
Quote:
Originally posted by ~LaUr3n~
Other option?

What I do on a daily basis keeps me comfortable for having anal play or sex pretty much all the time. Just general good hygiene. Then add warm up in terms of relaxation, prior play, or an anal spray.
I'm usually comfortable as in I feel comfortable with him being around my ass, I know it's clean.. but for me the prep work lies more in me being physically comfortable for anal sex. For some reason I have a very hard time with it being comfortable. The times that I do it's awesome but it's just such a blue moon type thing
07/11/2010
Contributor: Blinker Blinker
Wine helps. A lot. And being clean because I'm always worried about that. Anyway a lot of warm up is needed and if it doesn't feel right for me, we don't do it. I tried an enema once and it kept me on the potty all damn night long.
07/11/2010
Contributor: 00 00
How do I prepare? Hopefully I have showered recently, but with my hubby, pretty much all I need to do is stay in one spot more than a couple of seconds. If I'm not moving, I am a target. Haha. Like Alicia (above) I'm pretty comfortable with myself and with my husband (we've been doing this together for 29 years). I maintain good hygiene and good health in general. Anal sex is a regular part of our lives and therefore we do not feel the need to do any sort of elaborate prep for it, especially since it is usually spontaneous and not planned.
07/11/2010
Contributor: ~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
Quote:
Originally posted by Alicia
I'm usually comfortable as in I feel comfortable with him being around my ass, I know it's clean.. but for me the prep work lies more in me being physically comfortable for anal sex. For some reason I have a very hard time with it being ... more
Oh of course that is a huge part to, but sometimes I can't do anything to change my feelings of comfort for it.
07/12/2010
Contributor: PassionQT PassionQT
Filling a Fleet Enema bottle with warm water and running it through a couple times really helps clean out the anal cavity just on the other side of the sphincter. There is always going to be bacteria,but the point it to just try to and keep from becoming embarrassing. I don't have anal sex regularly, but I've seldom had any leakage and lubes tend to get things moving sometimes. Hubby will wear a condom too, it's safer all around.
07/12/2010
Contributor: kck kck
Quote:
Originally posted by Blinker
Wine helps. A lot. And being clean because I'm always worried about that. Anyway a lot of warm up is needed and if it doesn't feel right for me, we don't do it. I tried an enema once and it kept me on the potty all damn night long.
Blinker, I couldn't agree more!
Wine. is. awesome. Especially when it comes to warming up.
07/12/2010
Contributor: Liz2 Liz2
I love anal sex, as a receiver as well as a giver via a strap-on. At one time or another I have used all the options mentioned.
At present, anal play is usually involved in solo play as well, so I use a baby wipe and then get busy. I know the most important thing, for me, is how my anal canal feels. Somehow, I just know if I want to go there......
My b/f has a larger head so I do prep with butt plugs; Jolly Jack, Tantus Infinity Royal or some other thrusting plug or dil...Soft Serve and Tex also do it.
My b/f is so ready when he sees the plugs on the nightstand.
It is interesting, that when my b/f wants me to peg him, he chooses a harness for me and a dill to suit his comfort level at the time. Size matters to him but obviously, if I want anal I have to be ready for his ample girth....
07/14/2010
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
I just make sure I've had a shower or bath, and it really helps to have had an orgasm or 10 before we start anal. Having gone to the potty in the ensuing hours helps, too. Kinda graphic, but if I feel I really will need to use the bathroom in the NEXT few hours, my butt has the night off. I've Never had any leakage, and really don't want to experience it. Some people don't mind, but it would bother me.

No enemas or douches for me. My body keeps my rectum and anus pretty clean, so I don't bother. Also, if I were to do an enema or douche, I'd never leave the bathroom, so it's counter productive for us. But everybody is different.
07/14/2010
Contributor: shepegsME shepegsME
Shower obviously and eating healthy.
07/14/2010
Contributor: ScottA ScottA
Depends on what's happening at the time. Sometimes my body cooperates, sometimes it doesn't.

Warm-up is always important, both to help relax the anus and also to get the lube spread inside.
07/23/2010
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
I checked several of the options about cleanliness - but we don't do enemas. We're always clean before beginning any sexual contact - so that's typically not the issue.

We're not into anal sex per se, more what you would refer to as anal play. We just do external massage and the occasional small penetrative vibe or toy. Even at that there are times when one of is just not in the mood.

If my wife would agree to anal sex or we got into pegging we would consider a water enema.
07/23/2010
Contributor: AU AU
Alicia--haha, yes, I know about the stars being aligned.

I feel bad because my significant other likes anal sex and play a lot, and I do as well--but I just can't do it all the time. My body doesn't feel ready for it most days. I am vegetarian, but maybe I don't drink enough water. So I can't count on my body. I like to be very thorough about the preparations. Lately, I might take a suppository and then clean myself out with water. That usually works pretty well.
07/26/2010
Contributor: Lustful Dreams Lustful Dreams
I love anal sex but I definitely have to be in the mood for it. Warm up to it has to be right too... if there's no play and everything seems to be running really fast - no matter how badly I want I'll pass because I can only assume that the warm up to anal will go fast too. I think the slow, sensual sex is the best time (for us) to have anal sex. Gives us plenty of rubbing, touching, feeling, and kissing to warm me up, get me relaxed, and comfortable for it.

Of course, cleanliness is definitely another factor. I usually wash myself prior. I've never tried an enema prior but have considered it.
07/27/2010
Contributor: ScottA ScottA
If you use suppositories make sure you're getting the right kind. Stimulant (bisacodyl/Dulcolas and the like) are known to cause big problems if used regularly, and they cause enough of a muscular intestinal reaction to make anal play uncomfortable for a long time afterwards. Glycerin suppositories don't have as many problems, but I haven't seen any information about their long-term effects (they should definitely be less of a problem than bisacodyl).
07/27/2010
Contributor: AU AU
Quote:
Originally posted by ScottA
If you use suppositories make sure you're getting the right kind. Stimulant (bisacodyl/Dulcolas and the like) are known to cause big problems if used regularly, and they cause enough of a muscular intestinal reaction to make anal play ... more
I use the glycerin ones and like them!
07/28/2010
Contributor: SexyySarah SexyySarah
Hubby helps me the most! He is nice and slow and steady! But I have to have a BM to be comfortable with it! Hubby doesn't mind though if there is anything "extra" LOL
07/28/2010
Contributor: Jenn (aka kissmykitty) Jenn (aka kissmykitty)
(EdenFantasys)
Shower, vigorous cleaning, a last-minute swipe with a baby wipe, and then plenty of non-anal foreplay to get me in the mood for sex, followed by a lead into anal play and anal stimulation, and then the real deal.
07/28/2010
Contributor: Midway through Midway through
I think that a combination of the above is more appropriate for me. I don't do any one in particular.
07/29/2010
Contributor: ~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
Quote:
Originally posted by shepegsME
Shower obviously and eating healthy.
Eating healthy is an important thing too.
07/29/2010
Contributor: ScottA ScottA
You can always test things out first using a finger/dildo/toy, that's what I tend to do. If things are clean enough then go ahead, if not try to BM, then move on to other methods. I don't like to put things "on hold" if my body isn't cooperating but my wife is.
07/29/2010
Contributor: Two4xxxfun Two4xxxfun
Quote:
Originally posted by ~LaUr3n~
Other option?

What I do on a daily basis keeps me comfortable for having anal play or sex pretty much all the time. Just general good hygiene. Then add warm up in terms of relaxation, prior play, or an anal spray.
So what is it you do on a daily basis?
08/02/2010
Contributor: Darling Jen Darling Jen
I don't know what's considered "anal sex" as nothing larger than a finger has been used on me... But I still go through quite a bit of work to make sure everything's clean back there.

But I have to ask... since I seem to be a little sheltered or something. But what does BM stand for?
08/02/2010
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Quote:
Originally posted by Darling Jen
I don't know what's considered "anal sex" as nothing larger than a finger has been used on me... But I still go through quite a bit of work to make sure everything's clean back there.

But I have to ask... since I seem to ... more
Jen - BM is a bowel movement.
08/02/2010
Contributor: NymphetamineKiss NymphetamineKiss
See, I think my Mr is psychic or something. He always springs anal on me when I haven't done anything to prepare :S

If I think there is a chance I'll generally use wipes in the area just to make sure it's as fresh as it can be, and we often use a buzzy butt plug during vaginal play/sex to get my relaxed and ready.

I remember the first time he rimmed me it was new years, and we'd got back to the house we were staying in that night... it was about 4am and we were both pretty drunk... I can't say there was any prep for that, as I had no idea he was going to spring that on me! It was pretty amazing though... mmm...
08/02/2010
Contributor: ScottA ScottA
Quote:
Originally posted by Darling Jen
I don't know what's considered "anal sex" as nothing larger than a finger has been used on me... But I still go through quite a bit of work to make sure everything's clean back there.

But I have to ask... since I seem to ... more
Anal sex (unless otherwise indicated) generally means any type of anal play according to Morin, so fingers count. My guess is that this thread deals mostly with partner play, as in solo play "messes" aren't as embarrassing.

What's a good name for partner penis-anus sex (perhaps also including pegging)? Or, alternatively, should it be "anal play" for all types of buttfun and "anal sex" for penis-anus/dildo-anus?
08/02/2010