The New Intimacy

EdenKink - Fetish Etiquette - Thursday, December 22nd, 2011 @ 8pm ET

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Contributor: Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama
Quote:
Originally posted by AndroAngel
There are play parties, clubs, and conventions. I'm not sure if we'll cover them or not, but Holly covers them in the article.
thanks
12/22/2011
Contributor: Rayne Millaray Rayne Millaray
So what about protocol at home? If you are in a relationship, or have been in a relationship, or even with a play partner, do you have specific protocol when it's just the two of you? What about when you're entertaining guests in your home? Are the requirements different depending on the guests' knowledge of kink?
12/22/2011
Contributor: AndroAngel AndroAngel
Quote:
Originally posted by Rayne Millaray
I used to be one! Seriously. Until I came face to face with myself on bondage.com and didn't like what I saw.

These days I just ignore them. I have more issues with people thinking I'm still a "one true wayist", as I like to ... more
I agree with that, it gets annoying, actually, when people assume the worst.

I can get a little preachy sometimes when people talk about having "no limits" or no way to call off a scene if something goes terribly wrong. I knew someone who almost suffocated because she didn't have a safe gesture and a ball gag cut off her air supply.
12/22/2011
Contributor: luna[KM] luna[KM]
Quote:
Originally posted by Rayne Millaray
So what about protocol at home? If you are in a relationship, or have been in a relationship, or even with a play partner, do you have specific protocol when it's just the two of you? What about when you're entertaining guests in your home? ... more
Talking about the level of protocol just for me would take longer than you have *smirks* KM and I have a lot of rules and behaviors governing what I do at home.

We rarely entertain at home so that doesn't apply. We just use our "out and about" protocol.
12/22/2011
Contributor: AndroAngel AndroAngel
Quote:
Originally posted by Rayne Millaray
So what about protocol at home? If you are in a relationship, or have been in a relationship, or even with a play partner, do you have specific protocol when it's just the two of you? What about when you're entertaining guests in your home? ... more
We're switches, so we don't have any real out of scene protocol. In scene, the most important bit of protocol is that the submissive is to always, always be aware of their limits and always tell the Dominant if something is wrong. Also, I won't tolerate "topping from the bottom" if we're doing a heavy power exchange, and the scene ends there if he tries it.
12/22/2011
Contributor: Vanille Vanille
Quote:
Originally posted by Rayne Millaray
So what about protocol at home? If you are in a relationship, or have been in a relationship, or even with a play partner, do you have specific protocol when it's just the two of you? What about when you're entertaining guests in your home? ... more
Currently we're LDR so my insight is a little different.

I do have my rules, as in She controls my orgasms so I cannot come without permission. I have an enforced bedtime (which is for my own good, because I HATE sleeping alone, paranoia..)

I also share just about anything with Her, which I've done anyway even before we've became D/s because she was just the most easiest to talk too.

I'm going to think in future of SDR (which will hopefully be in a few years! woot!) but anyway, kink-friendly friends I can keep normal home protocols, but for the more 'nillas, I'm sure we'd use our public protocols.
12/22/2011
Contributor: AndroAngel AndroAngel
Oh, another bit of protocol between us, we're both pain sluts, so good behavior is rewarded with pain. Bad behavior is not rewarded with pain. If one of us is "bad" we get the "time out" punishment, where the scene takes a break until the ill behaved one stops acting out.
12/22/2011
Contributor: allinonekid allinonekid
Hello people
12/22/2011
Contributor: winterseve winterseve
hi allinonekid!
12/22/2011
Contributor: AndroAngel AndroAngel
Quote:
Originally posted by allinonekid
Hello people
Hey!
12/22/2011
Contributor: Vanille Vanille
Quote:
Originally posted by allinonekid
Hello people
Hiyas.
12/22/2011
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
I'm fascinated by all the different aspects of all the different relationships here. I wish I had something to add instead of just lurking!
12/22/2011
Contributor: allinonekid allinonekid
How you fine folks this evening?

Sorry I'm late to the party.
12/22/2011
Contributor: Rayne Millaray Rayne Millaray
Our protocol is pretty basic.

Rule #1: He controls the rules.
Rule #2: I follow the rules.
Rule #3: The rules are subject to change. Sometimes without warning.

I mean, it's more in depth than that. I'm supposed to call him "Master". I'll always have the last word in any conversation as long as it's "Yes, Master." My duty is to be pleasing and obey without question.

I'm required to be on my best behavior when we're around other people no matter who they are. But some things are different in protocol for us based on who we're with.

We haven't had the pleasure of entertaining kinky folks in our home, but if we do I'm required to serve them in the domestic sense as I would serve him. Offer them food and drink. Keep an eye on their levels. Keep a respectful tone. Don't interrupt the dominants when they're speaking.

Non-kinky folks are treated with the same respect I try to treat everyone. Common decency is huge in our home. I don't have to call him "Master" in the presence of nonkinky people, but I'm not restricted from it either. And I serve them just as one would any guest.
12/22/2011
Contributor: allinonekid allinonekid
Quote:
Originally posted by Jul!a
I'm fascinated by all the different aspects of all the different relationships here. I wish I had something to add instead of just lurking!
Same. Nice to see you here even if you are just a lazy lurker!
12/22/2011
Contributor: Vanille Vanille
Quote:
Originally posted by allinonekid
How you fine folks this evening?

Sorry I'm late to the party.
No worries. The party is always goin', at least til everyone drops.
12/22/2011
Contributor: Rayne Millaray Rayne Millaray
What about in other people's homes? Do any of your kinky friends have specific protocols they ask people to respect? Do your owners have any they expect you to follow when you're at someone else's house?
12/22/2011
Contributor: allinonekid allinonekid
Quote:
Originally posted by Rayne Millaray
What about in other people's homes? Do any of your kinky friends have specific protocols they ask people to respect? Do your owners have any they expect you to follow when you're at someone else's house?
Not that I can think of really.
12/22/2011
Contributor: luna[KM] luna[KM]
Quote:
Originally posted by Rayne Millaray
What about in other people's homes? Do any of your kinky friends have specific protocols they ask people to respect? Do your owners have any they expect you to follow when you're at someone else's house?
Nope.
12/22/2011
Contributor: AndroAngel AndroAngel
Quote:
Originally posted by Rayne Millaray
What about in other people's homes? Do any of your kinky friends have specific protocols they ask people to respect? Do your owners have any they expect you to follow when you're at someone else's house?
Not really, but I did have one friend attempt to impose protocol on my home.
12/22/2011
Contributor: allinonekid allinonekid
Quote:
Originally posted by AndroAngel
Not really, but I did have one friend attempt to impose protocol on my home.
How'd that turn out?
12/22/2011
Contributor: Rayne Millaray Rayne Millaray
Quote:
Originally posted by AndroAngel
Not really, but I did have one friend attempt to impose protocol on my home.
Oh, now that is irritating. How'd that go?
12/22/2011
Contributor: Vanille Vanille
Quote:
Originally posted by AndroAngel
Not really, but I did have one friend attempt to impose protocol on my home.
Yikes! >_<
12/22/2011
Contributor: AndroAngel AndroAngel
Quote:
Originally posted by allinonekid
How'd that turn out?
They are no longer a friend.
12/22/2011
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by allinonekid
Same. Nice to see you here even if you are just a lazy lurker!
Lol, I'm working on some tutorials, and I feel ever so slightly out of my element here since we're not really kinky at all. I know I'm of course welcome to jump in with all of my vanilla-ness, but I just don't feel like I have anything super productive to add. So, I lurk.
12/22/2011
Contributor: Rayne Millaray Rayne Millaray
Oh wow! Look at the time! I've had a great time chatting with you all, but it's getting late. I guess it's time to share that surprise with you!

We're giving away some kinky toys tonight! So while I'm drawing names, how about you guys tell us about any fetish etiquette you've heard about that we haven't mentioned?
12/22/2011
Contributor: Vanille Vanille
Quote:
Originally posted by Rayne Millaray
Oh wow! Look at the time! I've had a great time chatting with you all, but it's getting late. I guess it's time to share that surprise with you!

We're giving away some kinky toys tonight! So while I'm drawing names, how ... more
I think I covered mostly what I've run into so far. 'course, I'm always, always learning so I could run into something new in the future.
12/22/2011
Contributor: winterseve winterseve
Is it rude to ask people how they got into the lifestyle or when they were collared at events like FetishCon?
12/22/2011
Contributor: AndroAngel AndroAngel
Ohh, Kinky toys!

So, I guess it's about time to go...
12/22/2011
Contributor: Rayne Millaray Rayne Millaray
And/or you can make some suggestions for next month's topic.

In EdenKink's future: We're working on a viewing of the movie Secretary with EdenFlicks and I'm putting together a DIY workshop.

And don't forget! You can submit articles on the many aspects of kink for the EdenCommunityClubs blog.
12/22/2011