brb - gotta grab dinner real quick.
EdenKink - Fetish Etiquette - Thursday, December 22nd, 2011 @ 8pm ET
12/22/2011
Quote:
Luna hits the nail on the head with this one.
Originally posted by
luna[KM]
You are the only weirdo
No really the best thing to do is to ask someone how they wish to be addressed.
"Excuse me Sir/Ma'am, how would you prefer I address you?"
No really the best thing to do is to ask someone how they wish to be addressed.
"Excuse me Sir/Ma'am, how would you prefer I address you?"
Best think to do is just ask, it doesn't hurt.
12/22/2011
Do most folks go to these as a couple or singles?
12/22/2011
Quote:
I'm required by my owner to find out how dominant people prefer to be addressed. If they ask me to use their name, that's fine. But because I'm a slave, M expects me to find out their preference and respect it.
Originally posted by
Kake aka PoeticErotica
I don't really worry about it until it becomes a necessity - if a relationship seems to be brewing or what have you. I'm not big on using titles or what have you for anyone I haven't submitted to but will if necessary. It's just not
...
more
I don't really worry about it until it becomes a necessity - if a relationship seems to be brewing or what have you. I'm not big on using titles or what have you for anyone I haven't submitted to but will if necessary. It's just not something I feel is necessary for me, I guess, if that makes sense.
less
12/22/2011
![Contributor: luna[KM]](https://cdn2.edenfantasys.com/Images/Contributors/Modified/575020_50x50.jpg?v=26612)
Quote:
It's a mix, if you are in a relationship then come as a couple, but many come as singles.
Originally posted by
Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama
Do most folks go to these as a couple or singles?
12/22/2011
Quote:
Yeah sounds like I'm just being silly. Thanks you two.
Originally posted by
Vanille
Luna hits the nail on the head with this one.
Best think to do is just ask, it doesn't hurt.
Best think to do is just ask, it doesn't hurt.
12/22/2011
Quote:
I'd say there's a mix. I go alone usually, because our local munch doesn't agree with my lover's work schedule. Of coarse, now it doesn't match up with mine, either, so neither of us get to go right now.
Originally posted by
Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama
Do most folks go to these as a couple or singles?
12/22/2011
Quote:
It's not silly, really. Sometimes I have trouble with pronouns, and I go by an odd set myself.
Originally posted by
Rayne Millaray
Yeah sounds like I'm just being silly. Thanks you two.
12/22/2011
Also just thought of this, and I don't know if someone else finds it off putting, this is just another observation of mine, and I often see it come up in question groups on Fetlife:
To add to the addressing, if someone tells you to call them 'Master' I think it's a little....ehhhh..stick y situation.
I'm one to call only my D-type Master, and that's also part of my 'rules' so to speak.
How does one feel if someone told you to address them as such with that kind of title?
I honestly prefer Sir or Ma'am/Miss.
To add to the addressing, if someone tells you to call them 'Master' I think it's a little....ehhhh..stick y situation.
I'm one to call only my D-type Master, and that's also part of my 'rules' so to speak.
How does one feel if someone told you to address them as such with that kind of title?
I honestly prefer Sir or Ma'am/Miss.
12/22/2011
Quote:
If I'm uncomfortable referring to someone by the name or title they've requested I simply avoid using it. It's usually not too difficult to make it known that you're speaking to someone without using the name or title you don't wish to use.
Originally posted by
Vanille
Also just thought of this, and I don't know if someone else finds it off putting, this is just another observation of mine, and I often see it come up in question groups on Fetlife:
To add to the addressing, if someone tells you to call ... more
To add to the addressing, if someone tells you to call ... more
Also just thought of this, and I don't know if someone else finds it off putting, this is just another observation of mine, and I often see it come up in question groups on Fetlife:
To add to the addressing, if someone tells you to call them 'Master' I think it's a little....ehhhh..stick y situation.
I'm one to call only my D-type Master, and that's also part of my 'rules' so to speak.
How does one feel if someone told you to address them as such with that kind of title?
I honestly prefer Sir or Ma'am/Miss. less
To add to the addressing, if someone tells you to call them 'Master' I think it's a little....ehhhh..stick y situation.
I'm one to call only my D-type Master, and that's also part of my 'rules' so to speak.
How does one feel if someone told you to address them as such with that kind of title?
I honestly prefer Sir or Ma'am/Miss. less
12/22/2011
Quote:
It's poor etiquette to try to be dominant to someone who hasn't consented to be your submissive. I generally ask them if there's something else I can call them, since they aren't my master.
Originally posted by
Vanille
Also just thought of this, and I don't know if someone else finds it off putting, this is just another observation of mine, and I often see it come up in question groups on Fetlife:
To add to the addressing, if someone tells you to call ... more
To add to the addressing, if someone tells you to call ... more
Also just thought of this, and I don't know if someone else finds it off putting, this is just another observation of mine, and I often see it come up in question groups on Fetlife:
To add to the addressing, if someone tells you to call them 'Master' I think it's a little....ehhhh..stick y situation.
I'm one to call only my D-type Master, and that's also part of my 'rules' so to speak.
How does one feel if someone told you to address them as such with that kind of title?
I honestly prefer Sir or Ma'am/Miss. less
To add to the addressing, if someone tells you to call them 'Master' I think it's a little....ehhhh..stick y situation.
I'm one to call only my D-type Master, and that's also part of my 'rules' so to speak.
How does one feel if someone told you to address them as such with that kind of title?
I honestly prefer Sir or Ma'am/Miss. less
12/22/2011
When you're at a Munch do usually on the "Masters" (or Ds?) talk?
12/22/2011
Quote:
I ask them how they earned their title because if they want me to call them Master then they will have to prove they earned it with a degree or something.
Originally posted by
Vanille
Also just thought of this, and I don't know if someone else finds it off putting, this is just another observation of mine, and I often see it come up in question groups on Fetlife:
To add to the addressing, if someone tells you to call ... more
To add to the addressing, if someone tells you to call ... more
Also just thought of this, and I don't know if someone else finds it off putting, this is just another observation of mine, and I often see it come up in question groups on Fetlife:
To add to the addressing, if someone tells you to call them 'Master' I think it's a little....ehhhh..stick y situation.
I'm one to call only my D-type Master, and that's also part of my 'rules' so to speak.
How does one feel if someone told you to address them as such with that kind of title?
I honestly prefer Sir or Ma'am/Miss. less
To add to the addressing, if someone tells you to call them 'Master' I think it's a little....ehhhh..stick y situation.
I'm one to call only my D-type Master, and that's also part of my 'rules' so to speak.
How does one feel if someone told you to address them as such with that kind of title?
I honestly prefer Sir or Ma'am/Miss. less
12/22/2011
Quote:
Everyone talks, you're on equal footing at a munch (unless your personal relationship supersedes it).
Originally posted by
Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama
When you're at a Munch do usually on the "Masters" (or Ds?) talk?
12/22/2011
Quote:
At our munch, everyone talks. I'm not sure how it works at high-protocol munches, but at the casual ones everyone's an equal while they're sitting at that table.
Originally posted by
Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama
When you're at a Munch do usually on the "Masters" (or Ds?) talk?
12/22/2011
Quote:
Oh, good. Thought it was just me. Good to know.
Originally posted by
AndroAngel
It's poor etiquette to try to be dominant to someone who hasn't consented to be your submissive. I generally ask them if there's something else I can call them, since they aren't my master.
12/22/2011
Quote:
I like the sound of that.
Originally posted by
luna[KM]
I ask them how they earned their title because if they want me to call them Master then they will have to prove they earned it with a degree or something.
12/22/2011
Quote:
M and I have been all over the board with this. When we first got together, I was required to refer to all dominant people as sir or ma'am based on gender identity. Some time later, I was only to refer dominant people as sir or ma'am if he instructed me to. Then we dabbled in Gor and I was required to call all "free" men and women master or mistress.
Originally posted by
Vanille
Also just thought of this, and I don't know if someone else finds it off putting, this is just another observation of mine, and I often see it come up in question groups on Fetlife:
To add to the addressing, if someone tells you to call ... more
To add to the addressing, if someone tells you to call ... more
Also just thought of this, and I don't know if someone else finds it off putting, this is just another observation of mine, and I often see it come up in question groups on Fetlife:
To add to the addressing, if someone tells you to call them 'Master' I think it's a little....ehhhh..stick y situation.
I'm one to call only my D-type Master, and that's also part of my 'rules' so to speak.
How does one feel if someone told you to address them as such with that kind of title?
I honestly prefer Sir or Ma'am/Miss. less
To add to the addressing, if someone tells you to call them 'Master' I think it's a little....ehhhh..stick y situation.
I'm one to call only my D-type Master, and that's also part of my 'rules' so to speak.
How does one feel if someone told you to address them as such with that kind of title?
I honestly prefer Sir or Ma'am/Miss. less
Now, M leaves it up to them. He's of the opinion that as property it is my place to defer to their wishes out of respect of their position. And since Gor, "master" has become a title for a man who is not owned, and not a term specific to my owner. Maybe we're strange. I just do what I'm told!
12/22/2011
Quote:
Yep, it generally annoys me especially since I'm a Dominant leaning Switch. Unless they're going to call me Master, too, they aren't getting called master. I'll call them by an honorific, just not one that implies my personal submission.
Originally posted by
Vanille
Oh, good. Thought it was just me. Good to know.
12/22/2011
Quote:
Not strange at all, Rayne! I guess it's a case-by-case basis with it.
Originally posted by
Rayne Millaray
M and I have been all over the board with this. When we first got together, I was required to refer to all dominant people as sir or ma'am based on gender identity. Some time later, I was only to refer dominant people as sir or ma'am if he
...
more
M and I have been all over the board with this. When we first got together, I was required to refer to all dominant people as sir or ma'am based on gender identity. Some time later, I was only to refer dominant people as sir or ma'am if he instructed me to. Then we dabbled in Gor and I was required to call all "free" men and women master or mistress.
Now, M leaves it up to them. He's of the opinion that as property it is my place to defer to their wishes out of respect of their position. And since Gor, "master" has become a title for a man who is not owned, and not a term specific to my owner. Maybe we're strange. I just do what I'm told! less
Now, M leaves it up to them. He's of the opinion that as property it is my place to defer to their wishes out of respect of their position. And since Gor, "master" has become a title for a man who is not owned, and not a term specific to my owner. Maybe we're strange. I just do what I'm told! less
12/22/2011
Quote:
Absolutely! So much in kink is relationship-specific. Makes it super interesting!
Originally posted by
Vanille
Not strange at all, Rayne! I guess it's a case-by-case basis with it.
12/22/2011
Quote:
I agree entirely.
Originally posted by
Rayne Millaray
Absolutely! So much in kink is relationship-specific. Makes it super interesting!
12/22/2011
Quote:
That's part of why I like it so much. There's no really 'true' way to go about it. Everyone's so different.
Originally posted by
Rayne Millaray
Absolutely! So much in kink is relationship-specific. Makes it super interesting!
12/22/2011
Quote:
Yep. Which reminds me:
Originally posted by
Vanille
That's part of why I like it so much. There's no really 'true' way to go about it. Everyone's so different.
How does everyone deal with followers of the "One Twue Way"? (People who believe that their way is the only correct way to do kink.) "True" D-types and "True" subs?
12/22/2011
Quote:
I let them live in their fantasy land and I'll live in the real world. As long as they aren't trying to push their beliefs on myself or the others at the munch then they are harmless.
Originally posted by
AndroAngel
Yep. Which reminds me:
How does everyone deal with followers of the "One Twue Way"? (People who believe that their way is the only correct way to do kink.) "True" D-types and "True" subs?
How does everyone deal with followers of the "One Twue Way"? (People who believe that their way is the only correct way to do kink.) "True" D-types and "True" subs?
12/22/2011
Quote:
-YAWN-
Originally posted by
AndroAngel
Yep. Which reminds me:
How does everyone deal with followers of the "One Twue Way"? (People who believe that their way is the only correct way to do kink.) "True" D-types and "True" subs?
How does everyone deal with followers of the "One Twue Way"? (People who believe that their way is the only correct way to do kink.) "True" D-types and "True" subs?
As long as they're not trying to shove it down my throat, I say let them live on Fantasy Island and name themselves Tattoo.
12/22/2011
Ok - total newbie here still and I haven't had time to read the post that was linked to - but are there activies other than a "munch"? If you'll come to that later - just tell me to shut up!
12/22/2011
Quote:
Hm, I guess I just don't have very thick skin. They tend to get on my nerves when they get on their soap box.
Originally posted by
luna[KM]
I let them live in their fantasy land and I'll live in the real world. As long as they aren't trying to push their beliefs on myself or the others at the munch then they are harmless.
12/22/2011
Quote:
There are play parties, clubs, and conventions. I'm not sure if we'll cover them or not, but Holly covers them in the article.
Originally posted by
Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama
Ok - total newbie here still and I haven't had time to read the post that was linked to - but are there activies other than a "munch"? If you'll come to that later - just tell me to shut up!
12/22/2011
Quote:
I used to be one! Seriously. Until I came face to face with myself on bondage.com and didn't like what I saw.
Originally posted by
AndroAngel
Yep. Which reminds me:
How does everyone deal with followers of the "One Twue Way"? (People who believe that their way is the only correct way to do kink.) "True" D-types and "True" subs?
How does everyone deal with followers of the "One Twue Way"? (People who believe that their way is the only correct way to do kink.) "True" D-types and "True" subs?
These days I just ignore them. I have more issues with people thinking I'm still a "one true wayist", as I like to call them, because I don't say "in my relationship" or "for me" or "my opinion is" every time I comment on something and my tone tends to be rather matter-of-fact.
Rest assured, I'm the biggest advocate for kink having many facets, these days. I just also think it goes without saying that when I'm talking about kink I'm talking about my personal experience, and not trying to dictate what anyone else should be doing.
12/22/2011