It already is by a lot of people. Even some in the community believe what others in the community do is abusive. There are some people that have been abused that are into BDSM, they aren't linked and just because somebody has been abused shouldn't make them not come into the community if thats what they choose. I totally get what you're saying... but for the most part, it's already there. The song and her case are just the most recent/widely known cases. less

I wouldn't say that it is common, but it can happen, yes. And there are also individuals who are, as you said, polyamorous. But I would not say that it's common, simply because I do not see it that way. I am not the sort of person to generalize such things. You will see it, sure, but it's not an every day, or every relationship, occurrence.

Nothing is ideal, also. Maybe it's ideal to you, but not to everyone. Some people enjoy having others to share it with. It's not casual, honestly - sharing that with someone is very, very serious. Just because it may happen occasionally versus every day does not make it a "casual" thing.

The spectrum is quite wide. Some people do it for bedroom play. Some people do it as a lifestyle (like me, I need a 24/7 slave at my side). Some people do it when they go to play parties or dungeons. It really depends on the person's wants, needs, and desires.

Most would treat the bdsm play partners as friends, yes, but I cannot speak for others. I have a play partner who is my friend, and we only play as a way for us to get out our needs in some sense. We are friends aside from that. For us, it's not intimate. However, what I was mentioning earlier, it usually is an intimate, and serious, exchange. Some people treat play partners as what it sounds like - partners during the time of play. Others may be friends and may just be having fun with one another! It really is the sort of thing that just depends on the person.

Wow, I wrote a lot! I apologize for that! less

People who get involved in BDSM are asking to be abused.

No one ever asks to be abused or raped. It happens, though, and people learn how to deal with it. People do not ask to have these things happen to them by involving themselves in BDSM. That's like saying a rape victim was asking to be raped by dressing nicely to go a club. Things happen and people take things too far. Some people extremely abuse people and torture them and it's not acceptable, but just because it's happened to a few people doesn't mean it happens all day every day. less

There is a fine line between pleasure and pain. Abuse is painful. My Mr always abides by the rules that when it is getting to be too much for my comfort zone it stops (although I do withstand a lot). Most of society doesn't understand that when we go into this it is just like any other relationship, there are boundaries that are predetermined and while they may vary they are rarely abused. less

I disagree with whoever said that they disagree with the "everyone is kinky".

Everyone is... it all depends on what you think is kinky. There is this one couple I know, where all they know is missionary. And that missionary sex is always done on a Tuesday night at 9:45pm. Without fail. And usually lasts about twelve to twenty-two minutes.

There was never anything else going on (according to the woman that is), then one day she and I were talking as I got a parcel in from EdenFantasys. I invited her in as she was curious about my parcel. Me? Always enjoying the shits and giggles, showed her my new nipple clamps.

She borrowed them and wore them to bed that next Tuesday night while having sex with her husband. She had her first orgasm of her life at forty-seven years old.

Everyone is kinky. It all depends on what their level of kinky is. less

People who get involved in BDSM are asking to be abused.

No one ever asks to be abused or raped. It happens, though, and people learn how to deal with it. People do not ask to have these things happen to them by involving themselves in BDSM. That's like saying a rape victim was asking to be raped by dressing nicely to go a club. Things happen and people take things too far. Some people extremely abuse people and torture them and it's not acceptable, but just because it's happened to a few people doesn't mean it happens all day every day. less

There is a fine line between pleasure and pain. Abuse is painful. My Mr always abides by the rules that when it is getting to be too much for my comfort zone it stops (although I do withstand a lot). Most of society doesn't understand that when we go into this it is just like any other relationship, there are boundaries that are predetermined and while they may vary they are rarely abused. less

I disagree with whoever said that they disagree with the "everyone is kinky".

Everyone is... it all depends on what you think is kinky. There is this one couple I know, where all they know is missionary. And that missionary sex is always done on a Tuesday night at 9:45pm. Without fail. And usually lasts about twelve to twenty-two minutes.

There was never anything else going on (according to the woman that is), then one day she and I were talking as I got a parcel in from EdenFantasys. I invited her in as she was curious about my parcel. Me? Always enjoying the shits and giggles, showed her my new nipple clamps.

She borrowed them and wore them to bed that next Tuesday night while having sex with her husband. She had her first orgasm of her life at forty-seven years old.

Everyone is kinky. It all depends on what their level of kinky is. less

Exactly, but society is never going to want to accept that we're different, yes, but our relationships aren't any different respect wise than other vanilla relationships. Abuse happens more often in vanilla relationships than in kink relationships...at least from what I've observed in the past. less

Wanting somebody to stop flogging, pinching, shocking, spanking, slapping, hairpulling, etc.... is no different than wanting somebody to stop finger banging, licking, tit grabbing, fucking or kissing you. Once it is no longer something you are enjoying... it should stop. less

Wanting somebody to stop flogging, pinching, shocking, spanking, slapping, hairpulling, etc.... is no different than wanting somebody to stop finger banging, licking, tit grabbing, fucking or kissing you. Once it is no longer something you are enjoying... it should stop. less

No problem at all, you can ask as many questions as you'd like!

The desire for play is more of an "I have an itch that needs to be scratched" sort of sensation. The desire for a person's full submission to me is internal, it's the difference between writing a short story and writing a novel. I do need that piece, that part that tells me, "This is mine, this is mine to do with as I please, this is mine to love and care for and cherish." When it's missing, however, the thing that drives me more is my sadistic need. I'm a sadist, so it's to fill THAT part of me. Tell me if that helps or if I need to go into more detail, I'm not sure whether I answered you completely or not. less

Exactly, but society is never going to want to accept that we're different, yes, but our relationships aren't any different respect wise than other vanilla relationships. Abuse happens more often in vanilla relationships than in kink relationships...at least from what I've observed in the past. less

Exactly, but society is never going to want to accept that we're different, yes, but our relationships aren't any different respect wise than other vanilla relationships. Abuse happens more often in vanilla relationships than in kink relationships...at least from what I've observed in the past. less

For some. I know people who get off on the force of their dominant pushing them. I know others who are taken outside their comfort zones by their dominant and fight it, but want it again and again. For them being pushed past their boundaries, wanting to stop and having to keep going is part of their kink and dynamic. less

It sounds to me like a hunger, like an impulse one can't reason or argue with that needs to be sated or suffered through. The lack of emotional attachment scratches the itch, but the satisfaction that offers cannot be compared to the fulfillment of that complete domination of someone you're emotionally invested in. Is that right? Rephrasing to see if I understand what you meant.

You say sadist, I hear that you enjoy inflicting pain. Is that accurate? I can relate to the strong impulse to hurt someone else and I know how overpowering the need can be in that moment, but I'm not sure if that's just me being a person or if that's something truly sadistic. Looking for a point of relation here in order to understand better, that's all. Perhaps you could tell me what it means to you to be a sadist. less