I believe so, yes.

Yeah, I understand that completely. I am out of that relationship where I lost control and could not, as VieuxCarre put it, give punishment with a clear mind.

Oh, absolutely! We plan to educate our future children when they are old enough to understand that not everyone lives the way we do. They will respect each other and the people around them...or there will be HELL to pay

I have found that most doms have genuine affection for their subs. It's not just someone to take out aggression on.

Absolutely. Mine cares deeply for me as do most dominants who aren't in it for a piece of ass or instant submission.

Agreed. I love learning about BDSM and the lifestyle.

There are quite a few of those. Fake dominants.

Anybody can be an asshole...Its not specific to any community.

I like that people in the BDSM community are open. If your into more than one person you dont hide it. Its not womanizing its just your prefrence.

Mine as well. When it's all said and done he is right there to hold and pamper.

That's very awesome.

It does help, thank you. It also raises a slew of other questions, not the least of which being: is it common for people in the lifestyle to be romantically/sexually spoken for but play with others on a platonic level? Perhaps I simply haven't been exposed to the scene long enough, but I've observed more people who play either with their sexual partners or have agreements with said partners to play sexually/non-platonica lly with others. I could easily be mistaken, but it seems more common for polyamorous relationships to occur amongst play partners rather than keeping the level of intimacy strictly non-sexual/romantic.

It seems the ideal D/s relationship demands a great deal of investment from all parties involved, so the idea of that relation being relegated to a 'casual' play or to something aside from complete devotion is strange to me. That could easily be my ignorance speaking, however, so take this with a grain of salt. I understand there is a difference between those who live a BDSM lifestyle and those who participate in sessions of BDSM play, but I'm not sure how wide the spectrum actually is or where along it my questions actually apply.

Perhaps it's the idea of splitting parts of oneself between people instead of seeking one person who can complement oneself as a whole that my comfort zone-- and admittedly, logic-- has trouble seeing the merit of. Would one treat one's BDSM play partners like friends, or something else?

That is awesome to hear, oh Hi everyone!

Totally. I started out as submissive, then gravitated into slave... and now? I'm a mix of both with a lot of cunt thrown in. (cunt = doesn't really fit into either sub or slave labels has some freedom but still totally enslaved, generally smart assy, etc)... I call myself a slub. A mix of all three because just one doesn't work for me.

And it's a choice. I choose just like he does to participate in this lifestyle. We have a better relationship now than we had the first 15 years that we knew eachother, are more open with eachothers wants and needs.

And it's a choice. I choose just like he does to participate in this lifestyle. We have a better relationship now than we had the first 15 years that we knew eachother, are more open with eachothers wants and needs.

<----is feeling my heart well up for you. I think for most that truer words could not be spoken.

Still havent figured this one out for myself...

Yes, I believe it does. Thanks for your response, I'm digesting all of this meticulously.

*waving* Hi!

Some also don't explore that side of themselves even when it's quite evident because they have misconceptions about the people involved in the lifestyle and the stigma they believe goes with it.

took me about 8 years to own up to really own up to my kinky side.

What do you mean?

HAHAHA!!! Well, sure everyone likes being beaten and hit! (sarcasm)

I'm...not by any stretch of the imagination into that. Though I have met many Dom/mes who are!

But whips and chains are pretty awesome