The New Intimacy

Eden Kink - Guest Speaker: lunaKM - Thursday September 29th at 8pm ET

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Contributor: luna[KM] luna[KM]
Quote:
Originally posted by Ivy Wilde
Thanks for the term, but I HATE the idea of "serving" anybody. I may not be a sadist, but I don't have a submissive cell in my body. I HATE being told what to do, ask nicely and I'll probably do it. Tell me, and there's no ... more
Serving does not mean submissive. You are serving their needs by giving them what they want, that is all.
09/29/2011
Contributor: luna[KM] luna[KM]
Quote:
Originally posted by Annabel Joseph
@oldman

There is actually a pretty popular form of power exchange called 1950s Household where couples choose to live like husband/wife couples of that time, where the guy was king of the castle and the wife bustled around and served him. From ... more
I envision my life just like that actually. minus the apron.
09/29/2011
Contributor: Elaira Elaira
Quote:
Originally posted by Annabel Joseph
@oldman

There is actually a pretty popular form of power exchange called 1950s Household where couples choose to live like husband/wife couples of that time, where the guy was king of the castle and the wife bustled around and served him. From ... more
I AM this right here. I love serving in a household way. I was kind of raised that way, but the whole 1950's era tradition really makes me feel uber sexy and feminine with the frilly aprons, pies, and vacuums.
09/29/2011
Contributor: Serenesub Serenesub
Quote:
Originally posted by luna[KM]
KM and I can't drop the 24/7. It's just.... not in us to do vanilla anything.
When I do vanilla relationships I either get bored or try to get the other person to take charge. If it doesn't work I'm not happy. I need a dominant.
09/29/2011
Contributor: luna[KM] luna[KM]
Now, I would be lying if I said it was an easy transition. It was fraught with struggle and challenges. I’m not naturally submissive and had to make a choice to change at every turn. In the end it was beneficial for both of us and it felt great to finally be in that happy place I knew existed.

KnyghtMare packed on the rules and behavior changes like buttercream frosting on a wedding cake. No sooner would I learn one that he would add another. Some of them I took to easily, even adding my own personal twist to them. Others we discarded or changed. All to find that balance we knew we’d have once we found our path.

This is where we settled for a very long time. I’ve become a different person I think than who I started out as and feel better for it. A lot of couples choose to stop here and live happily in D/s of some level.

How many of you are D/s couples?
09/29/2011
Contributor: Ivy Wilde Ivy Wilde
Quote:
Originally posted by luna[KM]
Depends on what you consider a Dominatrix. Is that a pro-domme for you? Dominantrix for me is just another term for a female Dominant.
The term "dominatrix" has just always suggested a very strong female who controls those around her and doesn't submit to anyone. I like the idea of control, but I don't want to hurt anyone, physically or emotionally. I just like the idea of being strong and in charge of things.

Probably because I feel so weak and not in control of my life most of the time. Not that anyone has control over me. I pretty much wear the pants in the relationship. I've just had an very "interesting" life and things just keep happening to me that no one has any control over.
09/29/2011
Contributor: Kake aka PoeticErotica Kake aka PoeticErotica
Quote:
Originally posted by luna[KM]
I envision my life just like that actually. minus the apron.
I kinda like the apron. Maybe nothing BUT the apron at times.
09/29/2011
Contributor: Elaira Elaira
Quote:
Originally posted by Rayne Millaray
Have you tried a different toy?
I have. We've tried Japanese rope bondage. I taught him things, he liked them, but never seemed too interested. He liked the pinwheel, but isn't too interested in using that, cuffs, collars, or anything. I usually have to initiate everything, and even when I do, he never seems that interested in it. That's why being poly has looked like a good option for both of us.
09/29/2011
Contributor: Serenesub Serenesub
Quote:
Originally posted by luna[KM]
Now, I would be lying if I said it was an easy transition. It was fraught with struggle and challenges. I’m not naturally submissive and had to make a choice to change at every turn. In the end it was beneficial for both of us and it felt great to ... more
I am... with a bit of M/s... we tend to function on our own with what makes us happy and ignore the labels.
09/29/2011
Contributor: Rayne Millaray Rayne Millaray
Quote:
Originally posted by Elaira
I AM this right here. I love serving in a household way. I was kind of raised that way, but the whole 1950's era tradition really makes me feel uber sexy and feminine with the frilly aprons, pies, and vacuums.
I can totally see you all frilled up like that. I'd love to feel comfortable like that. The style is so feminine and pretty.
09/29/2011
Contributor: luna[KM] luna[KM]
Any more questions so far?
09/29/2011
Contributor: Pixel Pixel
Quote:
Originally posted by luna[KM]
Now, I would be lying if I said it was an easy transition. It was fraught with struggle and challenges. I’m not naturally submissive and had to make a choice to change at every turn. In the end it was beneficial for both of us and it felt great to ... more
*raises hand* Master and I are that with a large helping of an Owner/property dynamic. I'm also currently dating someone who is a switch, so we're enjoying the back and forth power exchange.
09/29/2011
Contributor: Rayne Millaray Rayne Millaray
Quote:
Originally posted by luna[KM]
Now, I would be lying if I said it was an easy transition. It was fraught with struggle and challenges. I’m not naturally submissive and had to make a choice to change at every turn. In the end it was beneficial for both of us and it felt great to ... more
M and I are a facet of D/s. We fall more closely to owner/property.
09/29/2011
Contributor: Kake aka PoeticErotica Kake aka PoeticErotica
Quote:
Originally posted by luna[KM]
Now, I would be lying if I said it was an easy transition. It was fraught with struggle and challenges. I’m not naturally submissive and had to make a choice to change at every turn. In the end it was beneficial for both of us and it felt great to ... more
In all my relationships/potentia l relationships - my long-distance relationship, my ex who I'm considering seeing again, and a play partner I'm considering - there is some level or aspect of D/s, being strongest in the long-distance relationship and weakest with the potential play partner.
09/29/2011
Contributor: Annabel Joseph Annabel Joseph
Quote:
Originally posted by luna[KM]
I envision my life just like that actually. minus the apron.
I think 24/7 is very much like 1950'w, minus the apron!! for the first ten years of our marriage I was the submissive housewife, only I couldn't cook very well. But once I started working and making money, that dynamic was blown all to shreds. We're still trying to make our way through the aftermath...

I liked being totally submissive to him, but at some point some part of me was screaming to be recognized as something other than his sub.
09/29/2011
Contributor: Taylor Taylor
Quote:
Originally posted by luna[KM]
Any more questions so far?
What do you think is the most important advice for someone who is new to BDSM?
09/29/2011
Contributor: luna[KM] luna[KM]
It’s been 7 years, as I’ve said and we’ve gone though changes, recently getting married and are currently transitioning once again to M/s. I’m personally fighting this transition more than my previous ones because I don’t consider myself a slave or slave material. Master and many of our real time friends think I’m very slave-like. It’s a personal hang up on the word slave, of that I’m sure. In order for this transition to work I have to embrace that word and it’s.... hard.

I’m a stay at home submissive. My days are filled with chores, writing for Submissive Guide and taking care of Master and his needs. I have a lot of rules to follow and our protocol at home would be considered of a moderate nature. I am micromanaged on many levels, as I thrive better that way.
09/29/2011
Contributor: luna[KM] luna[KM]
Quote:
Originally posted by Taylor
What do you think is the most important advice for someone who is new to BDSM?
Most important advice? Learn what you want and need for your happiness before you start seeking someone to share your life with. It will complicate the dating process if you find one person just to discover they don't fit with what you want and need.
09/29/2011
Contributor: Serenesub Serenesub
Quote:
Originally posted by Annabel Joseph
I think 24/7 is very much like 1950'w, minus the apron!! for the first ten years of our marriage I was the submissive housewife, only I couldn't cook very well. But once I started working and making money, that dynamic was blown all to ... more
I agree with that if the submissive is a stay at home submissive and takes on the household duties. My owner loves to cook and does the majority of it, I'll be the primary cleaner because I'm vaguely OCD otherwise that would be shared. So for me, being owned just means that he leads me and has all the control and dominance. I follow. It doesn't necessarily mean 1950's-esque life. If further into our relationship we have a child and I stay at home then I'll take on all of the household duties so I would identify with it.
09/29/2011
Contributor: Taylor Taylor
Quote:
Originally posted by luna[KM]
Most important advice? Learn what you want and need for your happiness before you start seeking someone to share your life with. It will complicate the dating process if you find one person just to discover they don't fit with what you want and need.
That makes a lot of sense. I know I am still trying to figure out what I like. It is very daunting to me beause there is so much out there.
09/29/2011
Contributor: luna[KM] luna[KM]
Quote:
Originally posted by Taylor
That makes a lot of sense. I know I am still trying to figure out what I like. It is very daunting to me beause there is so much out there.
There is but just as you've read with my story, it changes and morphs to suit you at the time. Start with what you know and build from there.
09/29/2011
Contributor: Rayne Millaray Rayne Millaray
Quote:
Originally posted by Taylor
That makes a lot of sense. I know I am still trying to figure out what I like. It is very daunting to me beause there is so much out there.
There really is, isn't there?
09/29/2011
Contributor: Taylor Taylor
Quote:
Originally posted by Rayne Millaray
There really is, isn't there?
Yes but I guess that is good though, something for everyone.
09/29/2011
Contributor: luna[KM] luna[KM]
KM really is the king of the castle here. He doesn't lift a finger to do anything around here. I serve his needs in all ways. He manages me with rules and rituals and I love it all.
09/29/2011
Contributor: Annabel Joseph Annabel Joseph
Quote:
Originally posted by Taylor
That makes a lot of sense. I know I am still trying to figure out what I like. It is very daunting to me beause there is so much out there.
Even more daunting is that over time people grow and change, so sometimes what suits you kink-wise at one stage of your life doesn't fulfill you at a later stage. Like me with the 24/7, which I used to LOVE, and now I prefer light bedroom play. Fortunately my partner has been flexible.

So finding someone who's flexible and willing to change is probably a good goal too.
09/29/2011
Contributor: Kake aka PoeticErotica Kake aka PoeticErotica
I have to run but I enjoyed the time I was able to be here very much! Thank you Rayne & Luna! Take care y'all!
09/29/2011
Contributor: luna[KM] luna[KM]
To keep myself busy I make homemade cleaning agents, baking, cooking, frugal living, repair, knitting, sewing and a lot more in the works.
09/29/2011
Contributor: Ivy Wilde Ivy Wilde
Quote:
Originally posted by Kake aka PoeticErotica
I have to run but I enjoyed the time I was able to be here very much! Thank you Rayne & Luna! Take care y'all!
Bye Kake!
09/29/2011
Contributor: Rayne Millaray Rayne Millaray
Quote:
Originally posted by Kake aka PoeticErotica
I have to run but I enjoyed the time I was able to be here very much! Thank you Rayne & Luna! Take care y'all!
Glad you could stop in! See ya
09/29/2011
Contributor: luna[KM] luna[KM]
Quote:
Originally posted by Annabel Joseph
Even more daunting is that over time people grow and change, so sometimes what suits you kink-wise at one stage of your life doesn't fulfill you at a later stage. Like me with the 24/7, which I used to LOVE, and now I prefer light bedroom play. ... more
I agree with that. KM has recently let his "beast" out and he's more of a sadist than I can manage so we've opened up the relationship for him to have SM play partners.
09/29/2011