The New Intimacy

Is all your sex kinky?

Skip to last post
Set alerts
Updates
Forum search
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
I think we'll have to agree to disagree. People can play with BDSM without distinct "power dynamics" at all. As for anal sex, I think there is little more Dominant than fucking someone up the ass, and little more submissive than taking ... more
I also wanted to say, sometimes kink and what it means differs for different people. I don't necessarily think power dynamics represent kink as a whole, as many couples live in a recognized dynamic all the time.

Our relationship (my husband and I) is based on power dynamics, all the time, every day. But, everything we do isn't "kink." I don't consider non-sexual Service or submission kink, but some people might.
10/06/2011
Contributor: carenautilus carenautilus
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
I also wanted to say, sometimes kink and what it means differs for different people. I don't necessarily think power dynamics represent kink as a whole, as many couples live in a recognized dynamic all the time.

Our relationship (my ... more
You make really good points! I'll be much more careful in future when talking about kink. I never ever want to imply that my definition of kink is the only right one. It's right for me, that's it. I really do appreciate you taking the time to explain your point of view, it very much made me think.
10/06/2011
Contributor: RosesThorns RosesThorns
its pretty half and half here...
10/06/2011
Contributor: EJ EJ
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
We're a pretty kinky couple, but not in the way of BDSM play. That's never interested either of us, but there are other things we do that would make a 'vanilla' couple blush and hide under the table.
Same here. We use a lot of toys, but we're not really into BDSM.
10/06/2011
Contributor: Emma Emma
Flogger?no, Cuffs, def yes... i like kinky when it comes to it but other than that, im all about passion
10/07/2011
Contributor: zeb zeb
50/50
10/18/2011
Contributor: Mr. & Mrs. Peg Mr. & Mrs. Peg
I don't consider using toys or pegging "kinky"....it's just how we roll. Getting tied up, spanked a bit, mind play, ruined orgasms, forced cum eating....that approaches kink for us and is not our "normal" play....but always a good time.
10/18/2011
Contributor: LavenderSkies LavenderSkies
Quote:
Originally posted by carenautilus
Do you always break out the flogger and ropes (or whatever accoutrement and/or mindset applicable to you) when having sex? Or is it something you just break out occasionally? Something in between?
50/50.
10/19/2011
Contributor: geliebt geliebt
Mostly. Once in a while, the lovey dovey emotional gentle sexytime happens, but 80-90% of the time it's kinky to some extent.
10/20/2011
Contributor: K101 K101
Well, my definition of kinky isn't only BDSM. Kinky to me is a lot of things. Ours is maybe half and half give or take and while BDSM isn't always in there, our sex is always a truly intimate experience. I am into some funky things and enjoy things that most find strange, but we never exchange love for spanks & beatings!

Really, it depends on the mood. Some days I'm into more gentle, soft play and others not so much.
10/20/2011
Contributor: FemmeFlo FemmeFlo
Quote:
Originally posted by Dusk
We usually have kinky sex - I just need to feel dominated to be in the mood most of the time.
Agreeing with you, but I think it's nice to have sweet sweet vanilla sexxins at times too.
10/23/2011
Contributor: null null
It's very rare that we have any kind of kink involved. SO is not into it at all.
10/23/2011
Contributor: fifi fifi
Quote:
Originally posted by carenautilus
Do you always break out the flogger and ropes (or whatever accoutrement and/or mindset applicable to you) when having sex? Or is it something you just break out occasionally? Something in between?
Overall, it's about 50/50. Depends on who I was with, a couple of my exs weren't into BDSM stuff, so it was only occasionally that I got to be even tied up. My last serious relationship, my boyfriend was Master, so we had a lot more kinky sex than vanilla. Sadly, that ended, and the person I've been seeing off and on recently is quite vanilla.
10/24/2011
Contributor: Tart Tart
My sex is typically vanilla, and I don't often enjoy it. Sounds like I need to step it up, and have some kinky sex.
10/24/2011
Contributor: Miss Anonymous Miss Anonymous
Sometimes it is, and sometimes it isn't. It'a half and half for me.
10/24/2011
Contributor: AndroAngel AndroAngel
It depends where you draw the BDSM line... Sex for me always involves biting, and typically involves anal, which for some is kinky, but for me is kinda vanilla. If we're talking power-dynamics, less often than I have kinky sex.
10/24/2011
Contributor: zombiphile zombiphile
Most of the time there is kink involved naturally even in the way I treat my partner. Sometimes I just get too lazy to break out the gear.
10/27/2011
Contributor: switzerland switzerland
nope - there's always passion though. without passion, what's the point?
11/19/2011
Contributor: IrishLassie IrishLassie
Usually it depends on our moods, which tends to lean to the kinkier side most often. But there are times when we just have a quicky so there's no time, and every so often I crave to just make love.
11/20/2011
Contributor: Shorty32 Shorty32
More often than not there is some sort of kink involved.
11/20/2011
Contributor: LilMissSub LilMissSub
Generally it is, but every once in we have really passionate, sweet, loving sex.

It's not often, but it happens.
11/20/2011
Contributor: Wildchild Wildchild
It probably ran 60/40 in our relationship. 60% normal sweet love and 40% kinky. Time was always an issue.
11/20/2011
Contributor: hyacinthgirl hyacinthgirl
With my sub and our cam sessions, it's almost always kinky.

With my beau, he's fairly vanilla and very much not a sub, so we don't have a lot of kinky sex.
11/21/2011
Contributor: Defiledpixxy Defiledpixxy
I always have sex with BDSM involved. I actually am unable to orgasm if there aren't elements of BDSM involved.
11/21/2011
Contributor: GoneBabyGone GoneBabyGone
It's about half and half. I would like it to be more but in my line of work I can't be going to work sore.
12/03/2011
Contributor: (k)InkyIvy (k)InkyIvy
There's just about always a little bit of spanking and whatnot, but we only break out the cuffs/shackles and flogger twice a month or so.
12/03/2011
Contributor: Jake'n'bake Jake'n'bake
I can't remember a time when I had sex that didn't have some sort of 'kink' element in it. I get kinda bored otherwise unless I'm in a really specific mood.
12/06/2011
Contributor: JGrey JGrey
50/50 depending on the mood
12/06/2011
Contributor: C-Rae C-Rae
Half and Half I guess.. I mean we do enjoy the "normal" sex for when we're really feeling romantic but when we're really looking to just get crazy we get kinky
12/06/2011
Contributor: LittleA LittleA
Even when I'm more in the making love mode I still think we get pretty kinky, whether its positions or talk.
12/07/2011