The New Intimacy

Have you ever fantasized about playing out a rape scenario, in private, as either the rapist or the victim? Assume both parties have consented of course.

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Contributor: digit88 digit88
Quote:
Originally posted by Nickisonehere
I'm going to put a number of questions about kink fantasies and whether or not people have done them. I'm just curious to be honest. Granted, the sample is clearly biased, since there could be a correlation between: those who visit adult toy ... more
maybe
06/27/2012
Contributor: lecanis lecanis
I've actually played out rape fantasies before, and found it kind of cathartic. For me as a victim of repeated rape and long-term abuse, it's a little different than for someone who hasn't been raped. I think there are different mindsets involved for people using rape fantasy as a healing/coping tool and those for whom it's just fantasy.

This is actually an interesting topic for me, because I've had to talk to several young women who were very upset by their rape fantasies. It's a very common fantasy among young women (especially those who are shy or don't have a lot of information about sex) and I find it important to reassure these people that a) their fantasies aren't inherently disrespectful to victims and b) those fantasies don't mean they actually want to be raped.
06/27/2012
Contributor: Boyqueen Boyqueen
It doesn't sicken me that other people have such a fantasy, even though I chose that option. There just wasn't a "No and I would not want to" kind of option. Due to past experiences with rape, I can't see myself putting that into a play kind of situation, but that's my own sight on it all. I wouldn't be able to think about anything except those memories.
07/03/2012
Contributor: Heatherbipoly Heatherbipoly
me and my boyfriend love playing out a rape scenario.but i would neveer really liked to be raped, i just like having no control feel really fun.
07/03/2012
Contributor: BlackRose91 BlackRose91
My partner did a rape scene for me recently, and I quite enjoyed it. He actually surprised me by throwing a blanket over my head and overpowering me when I casually walked by the door of the room he was in. It was pretty exhilarating.
07/06/2012
Contributor: clockwork451 clockwork451
It's actually one of the most common fantasies for women because it combines being desired and having someone else be in complete control.
07/07/2012
Contributor: novanilla novanilla
I have experienced sexual violence before and I find it to be healing and empowering to do these sorts of things consensually and privately between myself and my current partner but we do not discuss it with others given how personal it is, and also controversial. We have discussed before that we think it's weird or upsetting that we like it but I think at this point we are comfortable since the other is too, and we know neither of us would ever cross the line of consent to hurt the other person.
12/29/2012
Contributor: RedKyuubi RedKyuubi
I think they are fine. Rape fantasies are just a form of losing or gaining control. No different than a bondage scenario when someone is tied up. There is in no way actual rape, so there is nothing wrong with it. I think it is fine, and that people should be fine with me having such thoughts.
12/29/2012
Contributor: Roz W Roz W
I see those types of fantasies as (often) fantasies about being wanted very badly. I think the desire to /be/ desired is present in most people who like sex, it just expresses itself in different ways in different people.

So yeah, I'd "scene" that way, with somebody who knows me enough to know I'm playing. I'm mostly a top, and I'm interested in fantasy fulfillment, not in actually hurting anyone. I wouldn't go there with someone I didn't know well, and I wouldn't want someone I didn't know well to want to go there with me.

And yeah, being aware of someone's trauma history/hard limits is pretty important. Something can be edgeplay for a particular person because it's psychologically dangerous territory for them, even if it's not edgeplay in the sense of being physically dangerous.
12/29/2012
Contributor: spiced spiced
My wife and I both wanted to try this, so years ago we tried it. We had a safe word which she later told me she almost used. Neither of us liked it enough to want to try it again.
12/30/2012
Contributor: FunFantasys FunFantasys
Quote:
Originally posted by Nickisonehere
I'm going to put a number of questions about kink fantasies and whether or not people have done them. I'm just curious to be honest. Granted, the sample is clearly biased, since there could be a correlation between: those who visit adult toy ... more
Its crazy how the mind works!
01/04/2013
Contributor: Sima-pusya Sima-pusya
Yes, and I'm comfortable with having such thoughts.
01/04/2013
Contributor: butts butts
None of the poll options really fit me. I don't really have any rape fantasies, more just domination ones. I don't like the idea of actual rape, even in fantasy, everything with me is about consensual domination.
05/23/2013
Contributor: SickOnSin SickOnSin
Quote:
Originally posted by Nickisonehere
I'm going to put a number of questions about kink fantasies and whether or not people have done them. I'm just curious to be honest. Granted, the sample is clearly biased, since there could be a correlation between: those who visit adult toy ... more
I've even written an erotica about this. It was my first by the way. It's not as uncommon as you think. Considering 83% of voters said Yes they have. It's a fantasy don't edit your fantasies. They don't have to fit into a tiny little box of morals. As long as both parties are consenting it's not a problem.
06/14/2013
Contributor: Beautiful-Disaster Beautiful-Disaster
YEs, I have.
06/15/2013
Contributor: harvest harvest
I don't fantasize about it since something like this actually happened to me, and it was a bit traumatic... >.>
06/15/2013
Contributor: twelve13 twelve13
Yes, I've done it before.
06/15/2013
Contributor: tami tami
Quote:
Originally posted by Nickisonehere
I'm going to put a number of questions about kink fantasies and whether or not people have done them. I'm just curious to be honest. Granted, the sample is clearly biased, since there could be a correlation between: those who visit adult toy ... more
no and if you or some one close to you has been raped you would not even ask this question
  •   (1)
    This is unacceptable / Against the Expectations of Conduct
06/17/2013
Contributor: KrissyNovacaine KrissyNovacaine
Quote:
Originally posted by tami
no and if you or some one close to you has been raped you would not even ask this question
I think you may want to think before posting replies like this. I don't want to belittle your experiences, but how you feel about this topic doesn't mean that other victims and survivors do. Several have posted that they have found catharsis in acting out such fantasies with a safe partner.

Everyone is different. How you feel is valid for you, but putting those feelings on others is not.

I was sexually abused, and I enjoy these types of sexual encounters with a partner I deeply trust. There are other types of sexual interactions I don't enjoy because of the abuse that most would find "tame" or "normal". Everyone is different.
06/17/2013
Contributor: FrustratedFemme FrustratedFemme
I've played out these scenes as both the rapist and the victim (always with a safeword and a consenting participant, of course). I like it more as the victim. It doesn't bother me at all, since in my mind, there's a huge difference between wanting to do a "rape play" scenario with one's partner and wanting to actually rape someone.
06/20/2013
Contributor: Hallmar82 Hallmar82
Not really, although forceful play is quite regular in our routine, we don't really talk about it even though I'm sure my wife has thought about it before.
06/21/2013
Contributor: HannahPanda HannahPanda
I am comfortable doing those things and having my fantasies about them.
06/21/2013
Contributor: Ayogirl230 Ayogirl230
i love the idea of being raped- not gonna lie. I have never been abused either. Just used for sex as many girls have been before in life.
06/22/2013
Contributor: SailorJulyxo SailorJulyxo
Yes, we have! We both absolutely love rape fantasies. I enjoy role-playing them with my girl, and she is in love with being the one raped. I am comfortable with such thoughts and fantasies. They're just that, thoughts and fantasies, between lovers who are both on the darker side of D/s.
06/27/2013
Contributor: MornaStar MornaStar
Quote:
Originally posted by Adriana Ravenlust
My husband and I have played it out a bit. I like the idea in general but am more emotionally dominant so it rubs against me.
Have you ever tried being the rapist? It doesn't always have to be men being the rapist.
06/28/2013
Contributor: MornaStar MornaStar
Quote:
Originally posted by Nickisonehere
Lithaewyn,

Sorry to hear about your friends, you're right that it's probably best not to mention to them. I've actually brought up wanting to pursue a rape fantasy with a girl I was dating, and she was quite disgusted with me. ... more
That is horrible that your ex(?) was raped. It's hard to know who has and who hasn't these days with rape being so...common. It makes you wonder if rapists wouldn't rape people if they had these fantasies played out for them in the bedroom by a willing participant. I know it's not totally the same, but if they want a fighter and kicking and screaming who are we to say no to that? I would rather be a "rape fantasy" victim than a real rape victim.
06/28/2013
Contributor: Love Bites Love Bites
Quote:
Originally posted by Nickisonehere
I'm going to put a number of questions about kink fantasies and whether or not people have done them. I'm just curious to be honest. Granted, the sample is clearly biased, since there could be a correlation between: those who visit adult toy ... more
It's called consensual non-consent.

I don't see why rape victims would be angry at the idea- for many, it's only a fantasy, but in reality most who are considering it or doing it are doing so with complete trust in their partner, and are consenting to it. It's basically just forcible sex.

I've been.. Sexually abused in the past, but there is a huge difference between being completely forced against your will and allowing your partner to do something to you with your permission.
07/07/2013