The New Intimacy

Have you ever fantasized about playing out a rape scenario, in private, as either the rapist or the victim? Assume both parties have consented of course.

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Contributor: newfoundlust newfoundlust
Quote:
Originally posted by Nickisonehere
I'm going to put a number of questions about kink fantasies and whether or not people have done them. I'm just curious to be honest. Granted, the sample is clearly biased, since there could be a correlation between: those who visit adult toy ... more
as long as both are consenting and want to have a fantasy that involves this, and its talked about in advance with a VERY clear safe word for either to us, why not.
05/17/2011
Contributor: aliceinthehole aliceinthehole
my boyfriend lets me pretend rape him sometimes in sex but it's really more that he closes his eyes and/or puts a pillow over his own face and lies perfectly still and lets me fuck him how i want. eventually it will end up in him taking over after a while, no longer able to contain himself and finishing it up.
it turns me on having all the control.
07/26/2011
Contributor: AngelvMaynard AngelvMaynard
We will sometimes do what I call "tussling" where we will kind of fight each other off. I don't know if that's considered a rape fantasy. I had a friend tell me once he thought it was, so who knows, but it's fun sometimes
07/26/2011
Contributor: Vanessa Weiss Vanessa Weiss
I didn't really have a good answer for the poll so I'm explaining in the comments.

My partner and I aren't really into "resistance" scenes. However, we are pretty into some fairly rough play when it comes to our BDSM and D/s that involves a lot of loss of control on my part, which we both find to be really hot. I've never had any fantasies I'd think of as "rape fantasies" - just kinky, tie ms up and use me fantasies.
07/27/2011
Contributor: Ms. Spice Ms. Spice
i didn't vote because it's not the type of thing that i'm interested in, but i can understand why someone would want to do it or i.e. does not sicken me. i know a lot of rape victims and such can experience a form of catharsis when acting out these fantasies. and besides, everybody's got their own kinks right?
07/27/2011
Contributor: PropertyOfPotter PropertyOfPotter
No, I haven't. Don't think I could.
07/31/2011
Contributor: Errant Venture Errant Venture
Okay, I'd read a few posts about rape fantasies on here recently, so I decided to give such a fantasy a try - though, at the moment, all I could and can do was/is daydream. So I had a daydream. I can sort of understand the appeal. It's about control, being in control, and that sort of thing I liked, but even as a fantasy (and in my fantasy, the woman was consenting. It was only play acting) I still felt uncomfortable with it. I don't know if I could go through with it, even as a fantasy dream. And, to be honest, the aspect I did like - the control - I get just as easily from other BDSM activities I participate in.
08/01/2011
Contributor: averageguyextrodinarypleasure averageguyextrodinarypleasure
Just make sure you have a safe word
08/02/2011
Contributor: jjdd jjdd
I fantasize about it and have acted it out somewhat with my current partner. We talked about it before hand and I would trust him with my life. But, I guess it was kind of half assed because as he was ripping my clothes off and trying to act all menacing we both kept giggling. Oh well, still lots of fun.
09/26/2011
Contributor: hyacinthgirl hyacinthgirl
It doesn't exactly sicken me, since I understand the whole "ravishment" thing. Even though I'm very, very sensitive about sexual abuse, I understand the thrill in, say, the staircase scene from 'Gone With the Wind'.

However, it's very, very far from being a fantasy of mine. My therapist has been helping me come to terms with the fact that my ex-husband raped or sexually abused me several times (even though the majority of our sex was completely consensual), and I think at this point, indulging a partner would be a huge step back.
09/26/2011
Contributor: dks210 dks210
Yes, as long as it's consensual. Actual rape is never okay.
02/16/2012
Contributor: Princess-Kayla ♥ Princess-Kayla ♥
I have some rape fantasies. Me and my fiance have done a bit of roleplay involving rape play. It wasn't quite as rough as I would have liked, but we're both still learning.
02/19/2012
Contributor: hiroshiro hiroshiro
I've wanted to but bf is SO not down for it. It's definitely one of his hard limits.
02/19/2012
Contributor: Apirka Apirka
No! I've been raped before and it's not something I want to "play" out again.
02/23/2012
Contributor: smashthepatriarchy smashthepatriarchy
Quote:
Originally posted by Backseat Boohoo
I understand that it's a fantasy for some and I don't judge--some of my fantasies are pretty whacked out--but every time I've tried to think about it, past experiences make my stomach churn, and the memory of how gruesome rapists' ... more
That's pretty much my reaction.
As a rape victim I find it really...difficult to understand. Because you can't WANT rape. There is no consent with rape. There is no safeword.
02/23/2012
Contributor: smashthepatriarchy smashthepatriarchy
All of these posts are really quite...something. Honestly I think it's a misnomer to even call it a rape fantasy.

Rape is something that is done to someone, against one's will. There is no safe word in rape. There is no consent. If you are consenting to someone doing something...it is not rape.

I don't think it's healthy to romanticize rape, which is what the term rape fantasy says to me.

BDSM/kink is totally fine. If thats what people want to do, sure. Consent is key, and there is no consent with rape.

#my2cents
02/23/2012
Contributor: KcKay KcKay
Quote:
Originally posted by Nickisonehere
I'm going to put a number of questions about kink fantasies and whether or not people have done them. I'm just curious to be honest. Granted, the sample is clearly biased, since there could be a correlation between: those who visit adult toy ... more
I have to say yes. Because when u enter into someone sexually fansaty there a a certain amount of trust. Which means you have already said yes so there in lays that it's not rape. Just a fansaty of a sexual fight.
02/24/2012
Contributor: eroticmutt eroticmutt
Yeah I have had such fantasies, and as long as the ACTIONS in real life are between two consenting partners, there is no reason to be ashamed of that. As long as everything is negotiated beforehand it is no more objectionable than any other BDSM play, and much less dangerous.

Let's face it- if you agree to have sex with someone and only pretend it is rape, there is a much lower chance of accidental pain/trauma than there is if someone is whipping you while you are gagged/blindfolded. Yes in both situations people should be very careful and keep their limits known. What I am saying is I find roleplay a LOT less extreme than actual slapping/whipping/etc.
03/02/2012
Contributor: kittenfacery kittenfacery
it's only playing and testing your limits, so i don't really understand why someone would have an extreme negative response. i feel that there should be a ban on calling it 'rape play' and that the term should be ravishment, otherwise there's the chance people will be offended and hurt.
05/07/2012
Contributor: klyte klyte
We kind of share a fantasy about it.
05/07/2012
Contributor: xilliannax xilliannax
Quote:
Originally posted by Nickisonehere
I'm going to put a number of questions about kink fantasies and whether or not people have done them. I'm just curious to be honest. Granted, the sample is clearly biased, since there could be a correlation between: those who visit adult toy ... more
I used to, and then I got a partner who had it too. It was too much of RAPE and not enough fantasy that it broke it right out of me.
05/09/2012
Contributor: Jake'n'bake Jake'n'bake
I picked the first one.

I personally have an absolutely gigantic kink for the whole 'rape' thing. Maybe not in a for-realsies setting, but I'm very okay with the setting being played out with my partner. My problem is, I like sex enough that I can't pretend to dislike it, so we're going to have to figure out a way to make it more realistic, though not to the point that it's actually rape. It's confusing. :/;

I'm also kind of annoyed by the fact that so many people are getting flagged for admitting to having these fantasies. Come on, people! I know it might offend you, but have you ever thought that flagging a post where someone admits to having these fantasies could be damaging to them? It's a pretty sensitive subject, and all I see from this flagging is people getting told they should feel bad for having these fantasies... rude. ):
05/11/2012
Contributor: AnnMorette AnnMorette
The whole surrender of control is very erotic to many women, but outside the fantasy realm it needs to be between 2 consenting adults. I don't think there is anything at all wrong with having these kind of thoughts.
05/13/2012
Contributor: Undead Undead
No, and I find that a little disturbing.
05/13/2012
Contributor: sweetpea12 sweetpea12
Quote:
Originally posted by Nickisonehere
I'm going to put a number of questions about kink fantasies and whether or not people have done them. I'm just curious to be honest. Granted, the sample is clearly biased, since there could be a correlation between: those who visit adult toy ... more
Yes but I feel like I shouldn't have these because rape is a serious and really terrible offense. And I am torn about my own fantasy
05/21/2012
Contributor: SubmissiveFeminist SubmissiveFeminist
I have been sexually assaulted, and I have also engaged in consentual non-consent. It did freak me out that I was able to do this with my past partner, but that was really situational. I would be able to do this with current partners, as the mindset is completely different and does not normally trigger me. If it does, my Dom comforts me and I'm fine in a bit.
05/22/2012
Contributor: theavocadopit theavocadopit
Quote:
Originally posted by Nickisonehere
I'm going to put a number of questions about kink fantasies and whether or not people have done them. I'm just curious to be honest. Granted, the sample is clearly biased, since there could be a correlation between: those who visit adult toy ... more
05/22/2012
Contributor: 31 Flavors 31 Flavors
My girl and I loooove this.
05/23/2012
Contributor: thisisadeletedaccount thisisadeletedaccount
I've fantasized about it, though it's never been one of my primary fantasies. I hear it's relatively common as fantasies go, though.
06/25/2012
Contributor: ksparkles16 ksparkles16
that just sounds weird to me...it's one thing to be taken with force and passion, it's totally another thing to be taken without consent.
06/27/2012