The New Intimacy

Is it wrong to prefer a sex toy over your lover sometimes?

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Contributor: Stnjbe1021 Stnjbe1021
I always wonder if it's wrong to just sometimes want your toy over your lover? Is it ok to prefer your toy every once in awhile?
Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):
Yes, sometimes you need to handle the job yourself
Stnjbe1021 , lamira , Viktor Vysheslav Malkin , Pleasure Piratess , Envy , Coralbell , Shellz31 , DustBunny , kermi91 , Avant-garde , ToyGeek , Madeira , twistedheartsx , Miz Creatrix , Sera , genericgerm , LikeSunshineDust , Waterlily , jakjak , LavenderSkies , DeliciousSurprise , Emma (Girl With Fire) , monkeylover621 , sbon , staceejaxxx , anonymouse , dhig , meganthomas , Liz , TexasBrat , PrettyChicka , Airekah , Purpleladybug , Midway through , Lady Neshamah , rdytogo , potstickers , Misfit Momma , RubenesqueAna , dv8 , MsGoosie , Sweet-Justice , cburger , *HisMrs* , Solar Ray , hiroshiro , indiglo , Fun Lover , Booktease , Lioncub , squire , null , Owl Identified , BellaDonna2884 , LennaKieran , IslandGoddess , Breas , Rin (aka Nire) , Beck , Love Perpetua , Diabolical Kitty , Pink Jewel , MR Chickhabit , ~inner~Rhonda~ , jeangel246 , PurpleCat23 , Katastophy , jc123 , Ms. Spice , ellejay , acessorie , aimtoplease , Ivy Wilde , Sex'и'Violence , Apirka , Lilith Bealove , Incendiaire , Mwar , Kithara , GONE! , DiamondKoala , Sohotdinosaur , Positwist , mistressg , Gone (LD29) , solitudinarian
86
No, you should always prefer your lover
Airen Wolf , Naughty Student , Penguin , Bunnycups , BBW Talks Toys , ToyTimeTim , PropertyOfPotter , TexasFire , Kindred , leatherlover , Raggedy Andie , ichwillwaffels , Triple X Moma , Princess-Kayla ♥ , That Man from Mars , Gunsmoke , Keegski , madpupalex0
18
Eh, who cares?
DustBunny , ZenaidaMacroura , genericgerm , Fannybutts , gothikstars , joja , baba ghanoush , K101 , null , dawnkye , Nora , Jimmy Stevenson , Ms. Spice , Chul , Lilith Bealove , corsetsaurus rex , tiggle biddies , freud13 , Zombirella , GONE! , DiamondKoala
21
Total votes: 125 (118 voters)
Poll is closed
11/15/2010
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Contributor: SexyTabby SexyTabby
I shouldn't think it would be preferring your toy over your lover as much as just needing time to yourself? I think it's perfectly normal to want your own space and take care of your own needs from time to time.
11/15/2010
Contributor: lamira lamira
Sometimes, depending on my mood, my toy can make me climax and my partner can't. It just depends on the intensity of the vibrations, the texture, the size, and what not.
11/15/2010
Contributor: Viktor Vysheslav Malkin Viktor Vysheslav Malkin
I wouldn't think its wrong if my girlfriend preferred a toy every once in a while.
11/15/2010
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by Stnjbe1021
I always wonder if it's wrong to just sometimes want your toy over your lover? Is it ok to prefer your toy every once in awhile?
While I realize that this sounds silly on the surface I really believe that one should never PREFER a toy over a partner...you might desire to use a toy and skip partner play especially if said partner is unavailable or uninterested but I will never say I prefer my toy over my partner(s).
Personally I prefer my partner(s) use my favorite toy with me.
11/15/2010
Contributor: Envy Envy
I think it really depends on the situation and such and the person you're with and whatnot.
11/16/2010
Contributor: Shellz31 Shellz31
I wouldn't say it's preferable - if you already have a partner. Sometimes ya just need some self pleasure and theres nothing wrong with that!

Being single - I often think I prefer my toys over actually finding someone cause my toys don't come with issues. There's no arguements or communication issues.
11/16/2010
Contributor: Naughty Student Naughty Student
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
While I realize that this sounds silly on the surface I really believe that one should never PREFER a toy over a partner...you might desire to use a toy and skip partner play especially if said partner is unavailable or uninterested but I will never ... more
I totally agree.

I mean, if I preffered my toys over my partner why on earth would he want to stick around, it would be so degrading to him.

I definitely prefer my man over my toys. If ever he is undisposed I will use my toys but if I have the option between toy or lover, my lover wins hands down, there isn't even a question about it.
11/16/2010
Contributor: DustBunny DustBunny
They're different things. There is no way to replace that bond you have with someone and the connection you get from sex. Sure a toy can make you climax and even do things a human can't. But it can't be there when your down, hug you on a bad day or all the other things that a partner can do. I can separate them, I use toys with and without him, but they can only add to it, never replace.
11/16/2010
Contributor: kermi91 kermi91
Eh, it happens. Sometimes it just more fun to do it yourself because no one knows your own body better than you do. I don't think you genuinely prefer an inanimate object over your partner but just the sensation of having what you want, how you want it, in the time frame you want it.
11/16/2010
Contributor: Avant-garde Avant-garde
I think its fine as long as its every once and a while. Just because you may prefer the toy on the odd occasion doesn't mean its better than with a partner. they have distinct advantages and disadvantages.
11/16/2010
Contributor: Madeira Madeira
Once and awhile you just want it how you want it, of course I can't come without my partner's permission, so I have to arrange those times beforehand
11/16/2010
Contributor: Bunnycups Bunnycups
You can't intimately bond and feel love from a toy.
11/16/2010
Contributor: BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
While I realize that this sounds silly on the surface I really believe that one should never PREFER a toy over a partner...you might desire to use a toy and skip partner play especially if said partner is unavailable or uninterested but I will never ... more
Word. for. word. Except I only have one partner, but that's neither here nor there.
11/16/2010
Contributor: Miz Creatrix Miz Creatrix
Quote:
Originally posted by Stnjbe1021
I always wonder if it's wrong to just sometimes want your toy over your lover? Is it ok to prefer your toy every once in awhile?
Not one bit. It's not necessarily even about getting the job done yourself, but sometimes one's lover/partner is physically unavailable...and urges need to be fulfilled, yes?

I also happen to think its hot to use toys in front of my lover...but that may just be me. Can be a nice tease to play with a toy/yourself while your lover watches.
11/16/2010
Contributor: Illusional Illusional
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
While I realize that this sounds silly on the surface I really believe that one should never PREFER a toy over a partner...you might desire to use a toy and skip partner play especially if said partner is unavailable or uninterested but I will never ... more
Ditto!
11/16/2010
Contributor: Sera Sera
Quote:
Originally posted by Stnjbe1021
I always wonder if it's wrong to just sometimes want your toy over your lover? Is it ok to prefer your toy every once in awhile?
I don't think it's wrong, but my husband does.
11/16/2010
Contributor: ToyTimeTim ToyTimeTim
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
While I realize that this sounds silly on the surface I really believe that one should never PREFER a toy over a partner...you might desire to use a toy and skip partner play especially if said partner is unavailable or uninterested but I will never ... more
I agree, if I am standing there and she choose a toy, I would have to make some hard choices.

Now if I was not there or not in the mood, then all is good.

Best when used together.
11/16/2010
Contributor: Redboxbaby Redboxbaby
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
While I realize that this sounds silly on the surface I really believe that one should never PREFER a toy over a partner...you might desire to use a toy and skip partner play especially if said partner is unavailable or uninterested but I will never ... more
I'll second that! Or is it a fourth or fifth? I would always prefer his living pulsing cock, or hand, or tongue over a plastic toy. Unless, he was using it on me or with me. I might be a weird on though, I don't really enjoy using toys solo. When I get a new toy in the mail, it sits in the box until he comes home and I say, "WE got a new toy today, I can't wait for us to try it!"
11/18/2010
Contributor: Fannybutts Fannybutts
I almost always prefer doing stuff with him over a toy, but sometimes I just want to get off and my boyfriend has trouble with that. I guess I'm a tough cookie if you don't vibrate.
If my goal is to just get off, yeah I'll prefer a toy, but if I want to feel good and don't care about orgasm I'll prefer him.
11/20/2010
Contributor: LavenderSkies LavenderSkies
Sometimes you just need to get it done yourself!!
11/20/2010
Contributor: Emma (Girl With Fire) Emma (Girl With Fire)
I don't see a problem. Sometimes I would prefer to forgo the intimacy of sex and just want to get off because I am horny and its aggravating me. I know what I want and how I want it and I just want to get it done. I have no problem with my partner masturbating even if I am around. The only time I see this as a problem is when you are neglecting your partner, and repeatedly choosing masturbation over them. Of course it will cause a problem if your behaviour is communicating that you do not value your partner sexually, and do care that they value you sexually.
11/20/2010
Contributor: Liz2 Liz2
Quote:
Originally posted by Naughty Student
I totally agree.

I mean, if I preffered my toys over my partner why on earth would he want to stick around, it would be so degrading to him.

I definitely prefer my man over my toys. If ever he is undisposed I will use my toys but if I ... more
I totally agree! I would never pass on my partner's cock for a toy but I don't see one eliminating the other. Toys, most times, are very much part of our mutual play.
11/20/2010
Contributor: TexasFire TexasFire
I prefer my wife, but sometimes I'm in the mood and she's at work. Some things can't wait
11/20/2010
Contributor: sbon sbon
It certainly okay to want alone time sometimes. I think it might be a problem if it got to the point where you never wanted your lover and only used toys.

But I just say go for a compromise. Use your toys with your lover.
12/23/2010
Contributor: TexasBrat TexasBrat
I think this post's wording is off. I don't think it's OK to PREFER a toy over your lover, though I voted YES. I think that sometimes you can't get off, whether you haven't directed your lover to the right spot, they came too quickly, and left you hanging, or, they aren't there to help you along, so in those cases, yes, it's definitely a good thing to use toys.

My philosophy is that sex toys are ENHANCERS, not REPLACEMENTS.
12/25/2010
Contributor: Airekah Airekah
For some reason the answers to this poll seemed a little weird to me... when I read them. I don't know. My lover knows that sometimes I just need a little push or sometimes he gets excited a little too fast... he is okay with toy use during, before, and after sex or when I am just in the mood and he is not... but I dont really prefer any toy over him.
12/25/2010
Contributor: Lady Neshamah Lady Neshamah
this is a bit odd.... but i would have to say both in a way. yes, i voted for yes. but sometimes you're mate should be the one to help you get off. and at the same time, a toy can do things a lover can't
12/26/2010
Contributor: rdytogo rdytogo
Once in a while I don't think there is anything wrong with that. If it is anymore frequent than that there is a bigger issue obviously.
12/26/2010
Contributor: leatherlover leatherlover
I prefer to do things with my wife. Now if she isn't available because of her period or at work, yes I would want to use a toy. But I would still prefer her to do something to me.
12/26/2010