The New Intimacy

Is it wrong to prefer a sex toy over your lover sometimes?

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Contributor: Raggedy Andie Raggedy Andie
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyTimeTim
I agree, if I am standing there and she choose a toy, I would have to make some hard choices.

Now if I was not there or not in the mood, then all is good.

Best when used together.
I agree with this statement.
12/26/2010
Contributor: Misfit Momma Misfit Momma
It takes my Husband an hour to bring me to orgasm and it takes me less than 5 minutes with a toy. I wouldn't say I prefer my toys over him, but 99% of the time he isn't patient enough to wait until I'm finished.
12/26/2010
Contributor: MsGoosie MsGoosie
I voted "yes," but I can't say that I've ever chosen my toy over my lover. If my lover is out of town, tired, etc, then of course I'll go to my toy, and sometimes it's nice to have some real "alone" or "me" time or to use a toy in front of a lover. However, that being said, a toy could never replace or be better than the intimacy I feel with a lover. I might enjoy the sensations of playing with a toy, enjoy the portion of foreplay or sex in which we used a toy, or turn to a toy if, for some reason, I just didn't quite make it to the "Big O,"but I would never claim to prefer a toy to a lover.
03/30/2011
Contributor: Sweet-Justice Sweet-Justice
Quote:
Originally posted by SexyTabby
I shouldn't think it would be preferring your toy over your lover as much as just needing time to yourself? I think it's perfectly normal to want your own space and take care of your own needs from time to time.
Well said.
03/30/2011
Contributor: link82 link82
No way!!!
03/30/2011
Contributor: Solar Ray Solar Ray
I've got no problems with my partner going hard at it with a sex toy. I'm not jealous or feeling resentful of her dildos and vibes.

As a guy I prefer to save my sexual energy for her instead of a toy but I do have some sex toys as well and we often incorporate them into our sexual time together.

Obviously maybe some people may have issues with their toys overtaking their actual sexual time together but I can't say I've experienced that.
04/01/2011
Contributor: hiroshiro hiroshiro
There are just some things a lover just can't do that a toy can and I would hope my partner would understand that.
04/01/2011
Contributor: indiglo indiglo
Of course, every once in a while is no problem. If it starts to become a regular thing, you might start to wonder if there's some sort of emotional distance growing between you and your partner... but every once in a while? No problem at all, IMO.
04/01/2011
Contributor: K101 K101
Sometimes your partner isn't around or is tired so I can understand that, or if you just want the job done quickly. I haven't ever preferred a toy over my partner's actual sex though. Thats one thing a toy couldn't ever do. Lol. I love my toys and they add a hell of a nice touch to forplay, but I always prefer him. Nothing wrong with preferring your toy here and there though.

You could always add your toy to the fun. Let your partner use it and play that way for a while. Sometimes it's fun to let him do the work. Lol.

There's a big difference in just preferring your toy sometimes and using it as a replacement. No need to worry.
08/16/2011
Contributor: Fun Lover Fun Lover
Yes! Sometimes when I can't make things work I don't want to deny my wife her pleasure, besides I enjoy watching her get herself off.
08/16/2011
Contributor: Booktease Booktease
I actually think that they cause two completely separate types of orgasms- both good, but different.
08/21/2011
Contributor: squire squire
I look at it through my motives...if I want to release stress, just get off, or to connect to my own sexuality then I think it's totally fine to use and prefer toys. THey work just the way you allow them too..If I started using toys to avoid a partner, avoid sex with them, to close part of myself off from intimacy and relationship...then it becomes a problem for me.
08/21/2011
Contributor: BellaDonna2884 BellaDonna2884
I don't think it's wrong sometimes you just need a specific type of stimulation in order to be satisfied.
08/21/2011
Contributor: IslandGoddess IslandGoddess
HE could use the toy on me his self but he would get fed up and upset seeing how turned on i am by the toy and do it his self
08/27/2011
Contributor: Princess-Kayla ♥ Princess-Kayla ♥
I prefer my boyfriend. I only use toys when he isn't home. Otherwise I'm overcome with guilt for some reason.
08/29/2011
Contributor: Breas Breas
I dont think its a bad thing, though i prefer my partner
08/29/2011
Contributor: That Man from Mars That Man from Mars
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
While I realize that this sounds silly on the surface I really believe that one should never PREFER a toy over a partner...you might desire to use a toy and skip partner play especially if said partner is unavailable or uninterested but I will never ... more
This pretty much sums up what I feel. I mean, it's understandable if your partner isn't available, but to prefer a toy over your lover just... ugh. Not for me. I know I'd feel terrible if she preferred a toy, and sex to me is more than just getting off, it's about being intimate and enjoying my love.
08/29/2011
Contributor: Beck Beck
I am all for taking matters into your own hands.
08/30/2011
Contributor: dawnkye dawnkye
I don't think you should pick a toy over your partner every time, but there's nothing wrong with it every now and again.
08/30/2011
Contributor: Love Perpetua Love Perpetua
I wouldn't say I prefer my toy over my partner (my partner is a lot of things to me & not just a penis), but sometimes, if I just want a solid, quick, clit orgasm...I'd rather bang one out on my own. Also, my partner isn't always around, but if he is, I wouldn't leave to have sex with a toy.
08/30/2011
Contributor: MR Chickhabit MR Chickhabit
i am a very sexual person, if i didn't have pornography and toys i would bot be able to maintain a monogamous relationship.

toys keep my genitals sane.
08/30/2011
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Masturbation has always been my way of closing the gap between my high sex drive and her low drive. It's simply preferable to adultery. On the toy thing - for me it's manual although on a rare occasion I'll use an anal toy to amp up the excitement.
08/30/2011
Contributor: Jimmy Stevenson Jimmy Stevenson
I get in trouble for masturbating...
09/06/2011
Contributor: Katastophy Katastophy
I think that it's nice to have a little alone time.
09/12/2011
Contributor: Ms. Spice Ms. Spice
most days i prefer a partner, but some days I just want a sex toy because toys don't make me mad, sass me, argue with me or do anything that generally irritates me. they get the job done and i can turn them off lol but like i said, most days I prefer the love and warmth of a partner
09/12/2011
Contributor: Angelica Angelica
I only prefer it when I want time to myself. Sometimes another person just complicates things when I just want to have an orgasm, haha. Otherwise I like them to be used together
09/12/2011
Contributor: acessorie acessorie
Sometimes I just want to be selfish and get it the way I want it without having to reciprocate. Great stress relief!
09/12/2011
Contributor: aimtoplease aimtoplease
your orgasm is up to you is what i always say!
09/13/2011
Contributor: Ivy Wilde Ivy Wilde
You have a lot more control over a sex toy than you do your lover. Sometimes that's exactly what you need.
09/14/2011
Contributor: Sex'и'Violence Sex'и'Violence
Sometimes you just need a little "you time" Nothing wrong with that.
09/14/2011