I think virginity is really subjective. It is what it is to you, no one else can define what you are.

I think virginity is a very subjective thing. Virginity means different things to different people, so everyone will have their own ideas about it.

I broke mine using a toy, but I still considered myself a virgin. I guess I wasn't physically one, but mentally I was.

I'm still a virgin until the sex equation involves another human being. The right human being, and that will be my girlfriend when I'm good and ready.

yes, I agree they are still a virgin

It depends what you define a virgin. If it the sense that you have never had sexual intercourse with another person than Yes. If you speaking medical terms and have broken your hymen than no. I would have to say No more a less only because you have had sexual intercourse. Yes it was not with another person, but you have had penetration.

I would say yes they are still a virgin.

(No intercourse with a partner)

Agreed, it must be the real thing, not toys.

I feel losing you virginity is an emotional thing.

I think that they'd still be a virgin

i wish we would evol past it. =/

I think virginity has to do with human contact...

I would consider it as still being a virgin, and I say that because using a toy and having sex with the real thing feel so different.
It really just depends on the person, and their beliefs.

Must be with person

Losing your virginity requires a second person, since sex is an act between two people.

Awesome question and answers!! This is something I've never thought about since virginity hasn't been a question for me in a long time. It's really interesting how society tends to look at things through a heteronormative lens, and until reading all the responses here, I probably would never have realized it!

We definitely need to revise the "accepted" definition to include sexual relationships between ANYONE, female-female, male-male, and all other combinations. In my opinion, solo play, toys or not, does not count as losing virginity. Defining what DOES count isn't as easy. I think kissing and general stuff that happens through clothing doesn't qualify, but as soon as the clothes come off with another person (willingly) and things start happening, THAT'S probably when it's lost... But who knows? It's clearly a personal thing that has MANY definitions to different people. Odd. Personally, I have a hard time considering someone who "saves herself until marriage" by having anal sex, a virgin.

Thanks for such a great discussion!

I think you are still a virgin. And as for the whole "the hymen is gone" argument, you can lose that naturally without any penetration of anything.

Hymen isn't real, virginity is in the mind.

Hymens have little to do with sex actually. Some are born without them. Some break them accidentally by doing daily non-sexual physical activities, going over a speed bump in a car can break it! Some people have sex, sometimes a LOT before their hymen ever breaks. I really don't think a hymen has much to do with virginity. If you have intercourse (whatever you define intercourse as, penetration, oral, etc.), then you're not a virgin. It's very subjective. Some people say that anal sex isn't sex, so you're still a virgin if you've only had anal. I personally think that's bullshit, but you can define intercourse however you want.

Glad to see there are so many people who have no use for conventional definitions of virginity!

Personally I think you can consider yourself sexually experienced if you've used enough toys; you're likely to have a better understanding of your body than a young person who has had a few awkward, unsuccessful sexual encounters. I don't see any use for the term "virgin". There's much more to explaining your sexuality and experience than that!

I think so, unless there is a significant hymen change.

I disagree with the penetration only definition of virginity but I don't consider playing with toys to count as partnered sex. I consider someone no longer a virgin when they have started having some kind of sexual contact with a partner (it can be penetrative sex but it is not limited to penetrative sex). All sex is real sex in my opinion, not just penetrative sex. However, I don't think playing with toys is remotely the same thing as playing with a partner.

Umm, yes they're still a virgin. It's just masturbation. A person would still be a virgin if they broke their hymen riding a horse at 8 years old, lol.

Definitely until intercourse, that's my belief.

they hymen isn't even always there to begin with link


and I concur that sex has a broad definition making "virginity" a little anachronistic