The New Intimacy

What do you do when someone says, "that's so gay?"

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Contributor: LunaLuthor LunaLuthor
Quote:
Originally posted by Timaree
How do you respond? Do you say anything, like "that's offensive," or "i think you mean, 'that sucks.'" Or do you let it go and think to yourself?
It doesn't mean gay that's not what they mean. I say it all the time and I accept gay people.
11/14/2012
Contributor: xxSuzakuxx xxSuzakuxx
It really doesn't bug me at all, but then again not a lot of things do.
01/24/2013
Contributor: bog bog
Quote:
Originally posted by Timaree
How do you respond? Do you say anything, like "that's offensive," or "i think you mean, 'that sucks.'" Or do you let it go and think to yourself?
We live in a pretty strange culture.
01/24/2013
Contributor: wildshores wildshores
i don't have any friends who would say that in a rude way, honestly. we talk about something being gay as good and self-affirming. however i do encounter people sometimes who use gay as a pejorative and i almost always fuss about it, explain why it hurts me and others.
01/24/2013
Contributor: Genderfree Genderfree
Honestly, I selected the last one jokingly... They are words used to say "stupid" that don't mean it! There are so many other words in the English language that you could use.
01/25/2013
Contributor: Raymaker Raymaker
Regardless of whether or not a person THINKS of gay people when they say that, as a queer person, you have no right to reclaim an identity and rebrand it as something negative just because it's the common day slang. Your verbal convenience is not more important than insulting a group of people.

And i tell people as much when I hear such a thing.
01/25/2013
Contributor: Raymaker Raymaker
Also, I really really do hope that anybody who voted for the last bit about being "retarded" is also joking for plentifully obvious reasons.
01/25/2013
Contributor: Love Lula Love Lula
I outright correct people and ask them why they think they needed to use that word. As a queer person, I do get offended when people say "that's so gay" and I do let them know.
01/30/2013
Contributor: CaseyDeuce CaseyDeuce
I say "Hilary Duff says DON'T SAY GAY!!" But I really hate that gay and retarded are used in a negative context when people say "That's gay." or "That's retarded." And the thing that kills me the most? Its usually my best friend, a gay guy, who says things are "gay" (in negative context.)
01/30/2013
Contributor: petlove0311 petlove0311
depending on the person i will sometimes correct them, but for the most part i don't care. a slur means nothing unless there is hate behind it. otherwise its just a word
01/30/2013
Contributor: aluminummm aluminummm
I usually just glare at people until they correct themselves. If they don't, they get a serious talking-to and probably a punch in the gut. But since I don't really hang out with straight people, any of my friends who say something is gay are usually referring to something being actually gay (i.e. referring to two girls holding hands while listening to Tegan and Sara and wearing snapbacks or some such nonsense.)
01/30/2013
Contributor: jr2012 jr2012
I hate it. We should be done with this slang by now!

Though I clicked on "think it to myself"...it is honestly not my personality to confront.
01/31/2013
Contributor: novanilla novanilla
I don't understand how most people think this doesn't have to do with gay people.
01/31/2013
Contributor: bratcat bratcat
As someone who has had the word "gay" used against them in a negative context i do not think it's okay, i do not care if you "didnt mean like homosexual," because its still a word used in a negative context and is directly associated with ones sexual preference.
When people outside the LGBT community use words like "f*ggot" and "gayfer" it is never okay, as those are not words for people not directly affiliated with that community to reclaim.

Outside of the internet i'm usually a non-confrontation person, and i do have a hard time telling people close to me that i do not want to hear language like that, but i usual will not hesitate to call out a stranger on using words like "bitch, f*g, gay, retarded" in a negative context.

It's not okay. Bottom line is you shouldn't do it. if you were an intelligent, decent, person you could find a better descriptive term to get your point across without being ableist, misogynist or homophobic.
02/01/2013
Contributor: Cosmonaut Cosmonaut
It doesn't bother me so much. I am more bothered by insulting a persons intelligence or incapability.
02/01/2013
Contributor: FlashFuchsia FlashFuchsia
It kinda bothers me, but I don't say anything about it.
02/01/2013
Contributor: dks210 dks210
I don't like it.
02/21/2013
Contributor: big b big b
nothing
02/24/2013
Contributor: damnbul12 damnbul12
Quote:
Originally posted by Timaree
How do you respond? Do you say anything, like "that's offensive," or "i think you mean, 'that sucks.'" Or do you let it go and think to yourself?
Tell them that's not what they really mean
02/24/2013
Contributor: karenm karenm
I get mad and think they are immature, but I keep it to myself because I am not the kind of person to speak up unless I know them well.
02/27/2013
Contributor: anonymous1298304 anonymous1298304
i usually just ask "what's GAY about it?" or how is that gay? unless it's a child/teenager, then I explain (lecture) lol
02/27/2013
Contributor: xOhxSoxScandalousx xOhxSoxScandalousx
Doesn't bother me because they don't actually mean "homosexual" when they say it.
03/03/2013
Contributor: WhoopieDoo WhoopieDoo
It's just a colloquialism. I know people don't mean anything by it, but I usually add a, "and not in a hot way," and a wink. (As in, "This situation is dumb. I wish there were some guys making out to make it better.")
03/06/2013
Contributor: Kitka Kitka
I've heard this so many times and I just find this phrase so annoying. You're either talking about being gay as something that's bad or you're saying that something is super happy; makes no sense whatsoever. Why not just say something is stupid?
03/06/2013
Contributor: evie.amor evie.amor
Quote:
Originally posted by Carrie Ann
Words, for the most part, only have the power you give them.

I grew up on the 80's. "That's so gay!" was standard vocabulary. Not a single one of us, at 12 years old, thought about gay people when we said it.

Just ... more
Agreed, if/when I have kids I will teach them to be careful of the words they use. It takes a lot to offend me, I think sometimes people take the whole politically correct thing a little too far. Homosexuality is very socially accepted today in our society, in fact I just saw a new Amazon kindle ad that had a gay couple in it!
03/06/2013
Contributor: evie.amor evie.amor
Quote:
Originally posted by evie.amor
Agreed, if/when I have kids I will teach them to be careful of the words they use. It takes a lot to offend me, I think sometimes people take the whole politically correct thing a little too far. Homosexuality is very socially accepted today in our ... more
Personally I don't say "that's gay" but I wouldn't correct someone who said it unless they were deliberately trying to be hurtful. If someone says "that's gay" around someone who is homosexual, then that gay/lesbian person has the right to correct them (or beat their butt if they feel its necessary).
03/06/2013
Contributor: kandy anjel kandy anjel
Quote:
Originally posted by Timaree
How do you respond? Do you say anything, like "that's offensive," or "i think you mean, 'that sucks.'" Or do you let it go and think to yourself?
as i was growing up, gay did not mean same sex relationship it meant happy as it used to be stated in dictionaries it was never meant to be offensive
03/06/2013