I have to agree with you on this. I almost didn't want to say something similar for fear I'd write it wrong and not convey what I meant. Sometimes I have to work not to be offensive or abrasive.



But I think sometimes pity sex vs. legitimate turn-on can be confused.



And anyone with a *visibile disability* has the right to have a chip on their shoulder, most likely due to all the asshats of the world.



Honestly with men I'm submissive (24/7 lifestyle, if I can), and one might think that this particularly aspect would be incompatible. I don't mean that to come across in any hurtful way, I just mean, generally, I don't find men of shorter stature/skinny men/less "powerful" seeming men very attractive.



But I am fine with wheelchairs, be they temporary or permanent. For me, it's mainly about the mind (intellect, spark, chemistry) and mind games (as per the BDSM bit).



I also think it's totally normal for people to think: "Whoa, this is too much; I am a marathon runner and avid hiking enthusiast and I require a partner who can share that with me."



Oh, and yeah...I was talking about this just last night and I mentioned to my partner (in a tender, tipsy moment) that I would absolutely stick around if something happened that disabled him significantly. I spoke of wheelchairs specifically, but also of much more severe things like comas and even total disfigurement (for instance, an accident involving fire). Knocking on wood nothing ever happens, but I'd be there.



My guy has a genetic predisposition to high homocysteine levels (known culprit for causing cardiac events like strokes and heart attacks) and he has controlled epilepsy (grand mals). I knew it all right away -- he is blind in one eye due to a homocysteine level that got really high and caused a stroke, and he doesn't like people playfully smaking his face, so he grabbed my hand and told me on our third encounter. One month in, he had a terrible seizure because he didn't take his meds on time, and his tongue was all chewed up and he couldn't move for days because of the pain, but I won him over (apparently) by sticking by his side to feed and care for him. He thought it was tender and sweet but odd, considering we weren't really dating yet.



I know realistically that he could have a stroke that would leave him like my grandmother: unable to walk and eventally unable to use the bathroom by herself. So wheelchairs and more are a risk. I knew this going in! I really didn't care, but I do selfishly worry something awful will happen to him and leave me suddenly without him--that's my only fear.



Bodies are great for sex and if I like the person, I'll like whatever body they have I completely get why some people are different, and why some people with bodies that aren't as easy manage as other people's bodies might be self-conscious: because they deal with stares and comments from the rude/ignorant general masses. Can really give one a complex.



Pity-fucking is really creepy to me. I'd have to have attraction, thereby negating pity-fuck status. So that one is foreign to me. Though when I stripped (totally different, I know), there were EXTREMELY disabled men who couldn't speak or really move and had staff with them who had to mop up their ever-flowing saliva and wheel them around the busy stripclub. I loved finding a quite spot and dancing for these men, who don't often have the opportunity to even have a genuinely kind touch from an attractive woman. I often got into verbal fights with less gracious patrons of the club who said horrible things to me/the men I danced for. As though they couldn't hear or something. Either way, I got each and every one of those awful "men" booted out so I could focus on the men who really had a purpose for patronizing the stripclub.



Sorry I went on tangents. It's that kind of weekend. less