I get alot of opinions from family that just make it feel like they are laying down the law on the person. If momma don't like them, they don't tend to last. Just curious if anyone else has this issue in their family.
Do you consider your familys opinion when picking out a boy/girl friend?
11/14/2010
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Quote:
My prents thought I took their opinions into account until I married my husband and then began dating our life partner...now they know better.
Originally posted by
jdloelo
I get alot of opinions from family that just make it feel like they are laying down the law on the person. If momma don't like them, they don't tend to last. Just curious if anyone else has this issue in their family.
11/14/2010
I picked two for this one mainly because= my dad has really good insight on the guys I pick. All the ones he claimed would later be a "mistake" ended up being so in the end, but in the end it's my mistake to make and I don't let anyone make my decisions for me. I take all advise with a grain of salt. Besides, if I would have listened to him then I wouldn't have my daughter.
11/14/2010
I date heroin addicts and artists. IDGAF, Dad. :]
11/14/2010
Quote:
IDGAF?
Originally posted by
Trashley
I date heroin addicts and artists. IDGAF, Dad. :]
Ultimately, it is up to me.
I'd say I listen, but I know my family doesn't know me as well as they think they do. But if they see the person talking to themselves and losing the argument, I'd listen. If they like the person, so much the better!
At almost 3 years, Cynthia's dad won't even meet me and doesn't acknowledge me as more than her "friend".
11/14/2010
I date whomever I want to. My parents are not in my relationship. I firmly believe that the only person who should have a say in who is involved in the relationship is someone who is in that relationship.
11/14/2010
I think family influences are just kinda there. They don't effect what I think and who I choose to bring home. I think I did pretty good
11/14/2010
I have never considered my family's opinion. I don't get up in their business and they (except my dad but he's special..) don't get all up in mine.
11/14/2010
I've discussed this with my parents while I was growing up. They pretty much said "As long as he doesn't beat you, do drugs, or kill anything, we're okay with it." My mother likes to meet the people in my life and she's liked all of them - she was as disappointed as I was when my only boyfriend in high school dumped me (she liked him a lot). No third-degrees, no interrogations. I've as much about my safety as my parents were, so there was no 'Honey, I think he's dangerous.'
I didn't tell them about my ex-husband until he sent me the ring (online couple in the late 90's), so I kind of blindsided my parents by already being engaged before they met him. Once it gets into the realm of marriage my parents don't say a word ... It's only now, after the separation and divorce that I'm beginning to hear how NOBODY (friends, family, coworkers, etc) could stand him, and they wondered what the hell he did to get me involved with him - I had always been very sensible until him.
If anything, I think I'll actually listen to them if I decide to bring a new man into our family again - but I'll have to ask them directly. They have the advantage of being on the outside and seeing what's going on. A little something like weird fashion sense or piercings or whatever isn't going to affect them, so I'm lucky my family's pretty open-minded. They may object if he's a jock, though. Or a preacher.
I didn't tell them about my ex-husband until he sent me the ring (online couple in the late 90's), so I kind of blindsided my parents by already being engaged before they met him. Once it gets into the realm of marriage my parents don't say a word ... It's only now, after the separation and divorce that I'm beginning to hear how NOBODY (friends, family, coworkers, etc) could stand him, and they wondered what the hell he did to get me involved with him - I had always been very sensible until him.
If anything, I think I'll actually listen to them if I decide to bring a new man into our family again - but I'll have to ask them directly. They have the advantage of being on the outside and seeing what's going on. A little something like weird fashion sense or piercings or whatever isn't going to affect them, so I'm lucky my family's pretty open-minded. They may object if he's a jock, though. Or a preacher.
11/14/2010
No. My mom expressed her opinion about my ex because 'his eyes look funny' in a picture and therefor she was not content on meeting him.
With the man, in over 2.5 years, she has met him 3 times. She has formed an opinion about him because of someones bullshit lies and in turn will not give him the time of day. Rather them just asking him or talking to him she is quick to judge.
Sorry.. *ends rant* it really grates my nerves
With the man, in over 2.5 years, she has met him 3 times. She has formed an opinion about him because of someones bullshit lies and in turn will not give him the time of day. Rather them just asking him or talking to him she is quick to judge.
Sorry.. *ends rant* it really grates my nerves
11/14/2010
Quote:
Yes, because sometimes they see things I don't notice because I'm blindly "in love." But they can't make the decision completely for me.
Originally posted by
jdloelo
I get alot of opinions from family that just make it feel like they are laying down the law on the person. If momma don't like them, they don't tend to last. Just curious if anyone else has this issue in their family.
11/14/2010
My mom and I are very close so her opinion matters to me a lot. But she also has ignored me when I told her I was interested in women. So if I ever meet a woman I would like to be in a relationship with, I know I will hesitate because my mom may not approve, but I won't let that rule over my own feeling (at least that's how I feel right now).
11/15/2010
I am very close with my mother and how she feels means a lot to me. That being said, I would still make the decision for my self but would consider her concerns.
My mother initially had some issues with the 15 year age difference between my SO and I, but that has almost all disappeared.
My mother initially had some issues with the 15 year age difference between my SO and I, but that has almost all disappeared.
11/17/2010
Things my family say will definitely influence how I look at things. But when it comes to who I date? They dont usually know until I am a couple months in.
Best advice I ever had was from my uncle: If you want somebody who truley loves you, date somebody who would be willing to do anything and everything to make you happy, and you for them. Don't take advantage of them, and don't let them take advantage of you.
Best advice I ever had was from my uncle: If you want somebody who truley loves you, date somebody who would be willing to do anything and everything to make you happy, and you for them. Don't take advantage of them, and don't let them take advantage of you.
11/17/2010
I value my family's opinion, but I don't really hear their thoughts until after I've broken up.
11/17/2010
I don't really listen to them
My mother is always telling me how I need to settle for whatever I can get.
A rich black man would be ideal for her... and she assumes all white men who date me just have "jungle fever" and want to tap some black ass.
It really takes a toll on your self-esteem, and my dad says for me to stop "playing" around with that white boy I date, cause I'm not very attractive and he wouldn't even keep me around to be a trophy wife. So... yeah.
My mother is always telling me how I need to settle for whatever I can get.
A rich black man would be ideal for her... and she assumes all white men who date me just have "jungle fever" and want to tap some black ass.
It really takes a toll on your self-esteem, and my dad says for me to stop "playing" around with that white boy I date, cause I'm not very attractive and he wouldn't even keep me around to be a trophy wife. So... yeah.
11/17/2010
I like to at least consider my parents opinions, rather than just ignore them. If they can give me a solid reason for why I shouldn't date someone, I would at least sit down and think about it. My parents don't say I shouldn't date someone because of stereotypes or anything, they base what they say off of how I am or how they see the guy.
With my last serious boyfriend, my mom sat and talked to me about how she had a boyfriend who used drugs, and she ended up paying for them most of the time. I was basically doing the same at the time, so what she told me, as well as her telling me I could find someone better, just helped me realize I did not want it anymore.
With my last serious boyfriend, my mom sat and talked to me about how she had a boyfriend who used drugs, and she ended up paying for them most of the time. I was basically doing the same at the time, so what she told me, as well as her telling me I could find someone better, just helped me realize I did not want it anymore.
12/14/2010
NOPE! It's me who has to be involved with the partner so it's my decision - fully!
12/14/2010
MY life, MY relationship, MY sex life. Not theirs. It's just that simple.
When I was living at home as a teenager I started dating someone sixteen years older than me. My mother kicked me out twice. I didn't stop seeing him. I Moved back in and we continued to date...fourteen years later and she loves him to death.
Though some things didn't go quite the way I wanted them to, I am happy with whom I have chosen to spend my life with. Even if we can't quite get our shit together, all the time.
When I was living at home as a teenager I started dating someone sixteen years older than me. My mother kicked me out twice. I didn't stop seeing him. I Moved back in and we continued to date...fourteen years later and she loves him to death.
Though some things didn't go quite the way I wanted them to, I am happy with whom I have chosen to spend my life with. Even if we can't quite get our shit together, all the time.
12/14/2010
my family has never really cared that much. they just want me happy
12/15/2010
I probably wouldn't end up with someone who my family is that seriously against, since I know they respect my right to be with whomever I choose. My parents would just rather I be with someone equally educated, who can contribute to a comfortable lifestyle, is decent and kind, and treats me well. Same criteria I'd have for myself.
Otherwise, it's somewhat important for my family to approve, because if I'm serious about a guy, there's a chance he may become a part of my family someday too. They don't influence my whole decision and I know they wouldn't be complete asses to someone I care deeply for, but I do at least consider the fact that whoever I'm with would need to be someone my family doesn't hate.
Otherwise, it's somewhat important for my family to approve, because if I'm serious about a guy, there's a chance he may become a part of my family someday too. They don't influence my whole decision and I know they wouldn't be complete asses to someone I care deeply for, but I do at least consider the fact that whoever I'm with would need to be someone my family doesn't hate.
12/15/2010
I'm the one that has to be with him and be happy. If family doesn't like it that's their problem.
12/15/2010
When your partner gets along with the people in your life, and vice versa, it makes life easier for everyone.
12/15/2010
I feel like boyfriend/girlfriend selection is not shopping. If my family really hated someone, I would want to know why, and maybe take that into consideration, but I make my own decisions. I'm not a kid.
12/16/2010
If my family had a reason to hate them, I might take into consideration "why". But if it's not justified, then I'll probably deal with it.
12/17/2010
I'd consider the opinion of family and close friends, especially if it looked like it might go to marriage.
12/17/2010
No, that's never been a factor. Much to the chagrin of my family, I'm sure.
12/21/2010
Quote:
I don't let anyone else pick my relationships for me.
Originally posted by
jdloelo
I get alot of opinions from family that just make it feel like they are laying down the law on the person. If momma don't like them, they don't tend to last. Just curious if anyone else has this issue in their family.
01/15/2011
Hell NO, my family can't pick their own relationships. So I am not going to trust them with mine.
01/20/2011
If I date someone my family won't approve of I just don't tell them and never let the relationship get serious enough that I'd have to bring them home.
01/21/2011