The New Intimacy

Do you consider your familys opinion when picking out a boy/girl friend?

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Contributor: Vaccinium Vaccinium
My mom lied to my face whenever I was dating someone she didn't like. I didn't know until it was over whether she liked or disliked someone.

I know she liked my wife when I proposed, though. As soon as my mom found out, she called my at-that-point fiancee and asked her, "Why in the hell did you agree to marry him?"
01/21/2011
Contributor: Danielle1220 Danielle1220
No one else is involved in my relationship decisions except for me.
01/22/2011
Contributor: LikeSunshineDust LikeSunshineDust
My family has never been terribly outspoken if they didn't like someone I was dating. Which lead to some of these conversations.

"We didn't care for him him anyway."
"Well, why didn't you tell me?"
"Would you have listened if we did?"

True... Probably would've just pissed me off.
01/22/2011
Contributor: Ellie B Ellie B
Quote:
Originally posted by Bunnycups
I value my family's opinion, but I don't really hear their thoughts until after I've broken up.
Yes! Sometimes I have to ask them, why didn't you tell me that when I was IN the terrible relationship? Their answer is that 'we trust your judgement'. I am an adult, after all.
01/24/2011
Contributor: Liz2 Liz2
I try to listen to my mother's opinion but I don't always follow her advice. But looking back, she was so right on most times.
01/24/2011
Contributor: Kayla Kayla
It's nice if my parents approve, but I can't say it's a deciding factor. I can't imagine I'd bring home too many people that my parents wouldn't approve of though. They'd just have to be polite and my parents would be fine.
01/24/2011
Contributor: Darling Jen Darling Jen
Quote:
Originally posted by LikeSunshineDust
My family has never been terribly outspoken if they didn't like someone I was dating. Which lead to some of these conversations.

"We didn't care for him him anyway."
"Well, why didn't you tell ... more
Complete ditto. Almost exactly the conversation I had with my mother after my break up. I know for absolute sure that I would not have listened to her. I was in love and wouldn't be told otherwise. I thought I was protecting the right person.
01/24/2011
Contributor: A Closet Slut (aka nipplepeople) A Closet Slut (aka nipplepeople)
I've never actually brought anyone home, but I'd like my parents to like him.
02/03/2011
Contributor: AU AU
I have let it be a factor. If they approve it's better. But I'm not really super close to my family and in the end I do what I want. Listening to them has made me sad in the past.
02/03/2011
Contributor: toxie m toxie m
I've dated people my family didn't approve of, but I never thought of those guys as being ones I'd want to eventually marry. My family is pretty reasonable and I couldn't hold it against them that they didn't approve of certain individuals - they were correct that those guys weren't quite worth the effort but I still wanted to have my time with them anyway.

Dating my current boyfriend and having him be someone I can proudly bring home is really nice. As much as I felt alright dating shifty guys when I wanted to, dating a wonderful and approved-of guy now is so much better.
02/03/2011
Contributor: Sparfitt08 Sparfitt08
Quote:
Originally posted by jdloelo
I get alot of opinions from family that just make it feel like they are laying down the law on the person. If momma don't like them, they don't tend to last. Just curious if anyone else has this issue in their family.
My family used to try to make their opinions be heard and tried to force me to leave a certain person. Ultimately, it is my choice as to whom I am in a relationship with or whom I marry. It took awhile for them to get comfortable with my husband, due to our age difference of 10 years, after that, they were fine. They've realized that no matter what, we stay together, we fight through the good and the bad and rise up from anything that knocks us down. I'll listen to someone else's opinion, however, it is my choice and my life and they should just learn to respect that, IMO.
02/06/2011
Contributor: LavenderSkies LavenderSkies
Quote:
Originally posted by jdloelo
I get alot of opinions from family that just make it feel like they are laying down the law on the person. If momma don't like them, they don't tend to last. Just curious if anyone else has this issue in their family.
Absolutely not.
02/15/2011
Contributor: al16 al16
My boyfriend is closer to my parents than he is his own.
02/15/2011
Contributor: philz philz
I would ask, but as far as I am concerned it`s my business who I date. So I am not going to base my decision on what they say.
02/15/2011
Contributor: BadassFatass BadassFatass
I don't really take my family into consideration when choosing a partner. However, if my family had a problem with the person I was with it would be for a very good reason. I tend to evaluate potential partners on the same scale that my family probably would so I see this as a non-issue.
02/15/2011
Contributor: lezergirl lezergirl
My family hates my relationship, but we got engaged anyway
02/15/2011
Contributor: TwoHandedFreak TwoHandedFreak
Quote:
Originally posted by jdloelo
I get alot of opinions from family that just make it feel like they are laying down the law on the person. If momma don't like them, they don't tend to last. Just curious if anyone else has this issue in their family.
If I based relationship decisions on my family's opinions? ~shiver~ It would be really, really bad. My mom and my sisters all have terrible, terrible taste in men. I generally consider it a good sign if my family thinks a guy I'm interested in is strange.
02/15/2011
Contributor: Mr.RightNow Mr.RightNow
I make my own choice since I'm the one that needs to put up with her all the time. My family liking her would make things easier though.
02/25/2011
Contributor: KennyMister KennyMister
Why should i care about anyones opinion but mine?
03/18/2011
Contributor: hjtee hjtee
My family doesn't take into account my opinions on their partners, so why should I care about theirs.
03/26/2011
Contributor: tickle me pink tickle me pink
It's hard to say since I've never dated anyone my family didn't approve of. I'm so stubborn though that I'd probably do what I wanted anyway.
03/26/2011
Contributor: liilii080 liilii080
My family is important to me so I consider their opinion, but I live my life for me, not for them, so it's ultimately my decision.
03/27/2011
Contributor: SexyStuff SexyStuff
They live far away, but I still think their opinions have an influence.
03/28/2011
Contributor: MsGoosie MsGoosie
Quote:
Originally posted by jdloelo
I get alot of opinions from family that just make it feel like they are laying down the law on the person. If momma don't like them, they don't tend to last. Just curious if anyone else has this issue in their family.
I agree with that to a point, but I had to choose "no" in the poll. When choosing a new boyfriend or lover, I really don't think about what friends or family might have to say about the person; I trust my own judgment and experience to help me out there. In fact, I only introduce lovers to family if it's getting serious. While it matters a lot to me whether or not my family likes my partner, I'd be more apt to work to win my family over to my way of seeing things than to drop my lover at the first sign of disapproval. In the end, I'd like to think that seeing how happy the person makes me would be enough to win over family.
03/28/2011
Contributor: AngelicaU AngelicaU
I picked the first and last because I do care what my Mom thinks of my boyfriend, but that doesn't decide for me, but on the other hand.. I don't give any bit of thought or care to what my dad thinks. It just so happens though, that every one loves my boyfriend haha
03/31/2011
Contributor: Sweet-Justice Sweet-Justice
If I gave a flying fuck about that sort of thing I wouldn't be with the person I am now, happily in love for 5 years.
03/31/2011
Contributor: Woman China Woman China
I clicked on yes. Simply because I have to be careful of who I bring home. My father not approving of any man of colour makes it kindof of hard and difficult to explain to the men in my life who are of colour. I do not let my father decide whom I date.
04/05/2011
Contributor: Willis2011 Willis2011
Its definitly not up to my family
04/06/2011
Contributor: Enchantedkitty Enchantedkitty
Not a factor for me
04/06/2011
Contributor: link82 link82
no way!
04/08/2011