The New Intimacy

Is Writing Erotica (Erotic Fiction) a Form of Cheating?

Skip to last post
Set alerts
Updates
Forum search
Contributor: VanillaFreeSex VanillaFreeSex
as long as i knew about it i wouldn't have a problem with it at all. i'd be into it actually. but if someone is not okay with it, and they consider it inappropriate then i respect that they feel like that even though i disagree. however, someone who felt like that would not be a good match for me.

but if someone is monogamous, and not comfortable, i do understand why they might feel that way. cheating is a harsh word for it though
11/04/2012
Contributor: DiscretionAdvised DiscretionAdvised
In my relationship, we don't want other people involved in our sex life. That comes out in the following ways:

1. The only "porn" we watch or look at, is that which we have created for ourselves, and it's not shared with anyone else.

2. The only erotica we read is that which we have written for one another, about one another, and it's not shared with anyone else.

3. We don't actively engage in fantasizing about other people.

4. We also don't use sex toys modeled after other peoples' genitalia.

This way, it's just us. We are free to be comfortable and learn together, not try to live up to anyone else's standards. It really works well for us.
11/04/2012
Contributor: SteamyTea SteamyTea
I don't consider it cheating in any way.
But if one's significant other is very uncomfortable with you writing it I think it would be horrible of you to care so little for how they felt and keep on writing.
However if they think it's uncomfortable because they think it's cheating you should probably have a talk on that matter so you can come to a shared agreement and something everybody's comfortable with.
11/08/2012
Contributor: mjtheprincess mjtheprincess
Quote:
Originally posted by indiglo
Your scenario actually presents 2 questions, so I'll answer each of them.

Do I consider writing erotic fiction (where the author is not involved in the story) a form of cheating? - No, I do not.

Would I go ahead and write erotic ... more
Completely agree here. I wouldn't want to make my partner uncomfortable.
11/14/2012
Contributor: Robespierrethecat Robespierrethecat
I feel like in my relationship, it would not be considered cheating.
11/14/2012
Contributor: subwayrailings subwayrailings
yeah how is this cheating..
11/15/2012
Contributor: vanillaSpice vanillaSpice
Not cheating at all! I write erotica for profit and my partner has no issue with it.
11/19/2012
Contributor: Amber1319 Amber1319
I don't consider that cheating at all. Now if you wrote about something you would like to do with a certain person or a previous fling then I could see your s/o getting irritated.
12/05/2012
Contributor: SecretToyLover2 SecretToyLover2
It is not cheating, but if your husband/wife does not like it and feels that it goes against their values of marriage then it is a form of unfaithfulness.
12/05/2012
Contributor: Sinfully Sinfully
I do not understand how it could be perceived as cheating.
12/05/2012
Contributor: LoneOokami LoneOokami
no its not
05/01/2013
Contributor: twelve13 twelve13
No way. I definitely wouldn't consider it to be cheating.
05/02/2013
Contributor: karenm karenm
No, I wouldn't say so.
05/03/2013
Contributor: alliegator alliegator
I don't think it's cheating, and the idea of a partner saying I couldn't would bother me because it would be like them telling me what I was and was not allowed to think.
05/03/2013
Contributor: Mr. John Mr. John
Quote:
Originally posted by Envy
I had a discussion with a few people about this and would like to see what you all thought as well.

If you're in a relationship and think about writing erotic fiction to make a few extra bucks and your significant other/spouse doesn't ... more
I would not consider it cheating at all. I'm happily married, but if I had the talent and could generate revenue from sales, my wife would be tickled pink. Also, I would probably be basing the work on her, which she would probably find flattering as well. They say you sould write about something you know.
05/04/2013
Contributor: Pete's Princess Pete's Princess
(Review Program Mentor)
I would not personally consider it cheating. However, if my partner felt that strongly about it, I would not do it. He is much more important than a few extra bucks.

I would try to understand why he felt the way he did and work through the underlying issue to reassure him. Communication is the key and things are very rarely just about the current issue. If I was writing stories involving pilots and my old flame was a pilot, he might feel that I wanted to get back with my ex, making him insecure. We could then work through his fear. If I just said "No, I am an adult and you can't stop me from writing what I want. You will just have to live with it." Then I tear down our relationship instead of building it up. The other person's feelings may make no sense to you but they mean a lot to that person. You may still decide to write the articles but at least your partner will feel heard.
05/04/2013