Just a general question
Would you forgive your partner if he/she had a sexual affair?
09/19/2010
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I already have.
Originally posted by
butterflygirlxo
Just a general question
09/19/2010
hell no
09/19/2010
I would not, because we have a sexually open relationship. Lying to me when there's no reason to is unforgivable (and a sign that there's something REALLY wrong with the relationship)
09/20/2010
I don't think I could, just because I could never be sure I could trust him again. I know he can't, and that's the reason he left a few of his exes.
09/20/2010
I have forgiven him for an emotional one, and he's forgiven me for an emotional/sexual one. You can go on and on all day about what you would or wouldn't do in any given situation, but when you're actually in that situation you will be surprised at the response you have.
09/20/2010
I voted maybe. I suppose it would depend on the believeability of the confession/remorse. Luckily I have nothing to worry about - we're both just too devoted to each other!
09/20/2010
I picked yes, although I don't think it would be easy. I married him for better or worse, mistakes and all, so I would feel like I at least had to try.
09/20/2010
It really depends on the situation. I would vote 'Yes', but its really hard to say until you are knee-deep.
09/20/2010
sarahbear has a good point. It's always easy to know what you'd do when you're not in the situation. I'd much prefer he come to me first to discuss what he wants to do. I think I would just really have a hard time ever trusting him again. Trust takes so long to build and just an instant to kill...
09/20/2010
Idk. I mean chances are no. I might try but ultimately I never forget the wrongs people do and so I might be afraid of it in the future. It would take a lot of time that I might not be willing to give. Forgiveness is huge though. If I left him, I'd still be afraid until I forgave him and moved on. I've been punished for other peoples mistakes in relationships (ex's) and that sucked. Whether or not I stayed, I'd have to eventually forgive in order to trust the next person fully.
It would be situational.
It would be situational.
09/21/2010
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Absolutely! I always said HELLZ NO and talked about how I would cut things off and stuff. Then it happened and I think what hurt more was the fact that I COULDN'T hurt him physically, even though I felt like I was dying inside. I couldn't hurt him ENOUGH to mirror my pain, then I got a reality check and saw how badly he was hurting. We worked HARD to get over the betrayal and neither would trade where we are now for the fidelity we lost then.
Originally posted by
sarahbear
I have forgiven him for an emotional one, and he's forgiven me for an emotional/sexual one. You can go on and on all day about what you would or wouldn't do in any given situation, but when you're actually in that situation you will be
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I have forgiven him for an emotional one, and he's forgiven me for an emotional/sexual one. You can go on and on all day about what you would or wouldn't do in any given situation, but when you're actually in that situation you will be surprised at the response you have.
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I also wouldn't change the fact that all of it lead to my lifepartner and son.
You CAN forgive and you CAN get past infidelity, it takes a herculean effort but rarely is it not worth the effort.
09/21/2010
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I am going to say no, however there might be more to it... I don't see how. It would hurt like hell, and sitting here without it have happened I would say "get lost" but thats hard if your in love. I've seen stronger men forgive...
Originally posted by
butterflygirlxo
Just a general question
09/21/2010
I only clicked "maybe" because I have done both. Would I forgive someone again? 97% odds are going with No. It highly depends on the situation.
09/21/2010
I put maybe because it depends on the situation. We have a rule where if we ever have feelings of cheating we will discuss what is wrong in our own sex life to find the reason why one of us wants to cheat, then if one needs to explore that avenue we will do it as a couple, therefore it's not cheating, so I hope to never find out that this was breached!
09/21/2010
I don't think I could. I'd be too hurt, and you know the saying, once a cheater always a cheater....
However if it were to come to that, I'd like to at least KNOW my bf is feeling for someone else so we can work out the issues and prevent the cheating from happening. I tell him when I feel for someone else (not that I will act on it) and I expect the same from him. He does say when he's noticed a cute guy before, which makes me go "aww."
But yeah, I don't think I'd ever really let it go. It'd bother me mentally too much.
However if it were to come to that, I'd like to at least KNOW my bf is feeling for someone else so we can work out the issues and prevent the cheating from happening. I tell him when I feel for someone else (not that I will act on it) and I expect the same from him. He does say when he's noticed a cute guy before, which makes me go "aww."
But yeah, I don't think I'd ever really let it go. It'd bother me mentally too much.
09/21/2010
It depends on the person, the situation, the relationship at the time, etc. It's not as simple as yes or no for me. At the moment, I'm in a monogamous relationship that my boyfriend knows I would willingly open up so if he cheated, knowing he didn't have to 'cheat', he'd be done.
09/21/2010
I just never think I could. I hold onto grudges way too long
09/21/2010
Eh, I'm always cheating so if he couldn't get something, physically, out of our relationship that I couldn't give him, even if it's just a little variety, then that's fine. If my partner had a date or started liking someone or giving his heart and/or mind to someone else, that'd be a COMPLETELY different story.
09/23/2010
No way. I'd ditch him and move on.
09/23/2010
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I agree you can't really decide until it actually happens to you. Back in the day I would have choosen no way, but when your in love things change!
Originally posted by
Tori Rebel
It depends on the person, the situation, the relationship at the time, etc. It's not as simple as yes or no for me. At the moment, I'm in a monogamous relationship that my boyfriend knows I would willingly open up so if he cheated, knowing
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more
It depends on the person, the situation, the relationship at the time, etc. It's not as simple as yes or no for me. At the moment, I'm in a monogamous relationship that my boyfriend knows I would willingly open up so if he cheated, knowing he didn't have to 'cheat', he'd be done.
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10/17/2010
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I agree! Its different when you actually in that situation. Back in the day I would have said no, but love can make you do crazy things and forgive people who walk all over you..
Originally posted by
sarahbear
I have forgiven him for an emotional one, and he's forgiven me for an emotional/sexual one. You can go on and on all day about what you would or wouldn't do in any given situation, but when you're actually in that situation you will be
...
more
I have forgiven him for an emotional one, and he's forgiven me for an emotional/sexual one. You can go on and on all day about what you would or wouldn't do in any given situation, but when you're actually in that situation you will be surprised at the response you have.
less
10/17/2010
I would like to think that I would try.
10/20/2010
I would... sort of. I would do like I did the last time - let it go until I get really mad and then bomb him with it. Which is something I really shouldn't do. But, then, he really shouldn't have done that either.
10/20/2010
Maybe,
If she had the affair behind my back, I'd be upset.
If she had the affair behind my back, I'd be upset.
10/20/2010
I don't think I could. I know I've had a hard time forgiving people for other things that have happened in my life and I just feel like I wouldn't have it in me to forgive and be able to trust them again.
10/28/2010
Quote:
So does your response mean you're OK with her having the affair in front of you?
Originally posted by
Onanist
Maybe,
If she had the affair behind my back, I'd be upset.
If she had the affair behind my back, I'd be upset.
10/28/2010
Right now, no. Not yet. We're working to make it better, though.
11/01/2010
I have forgiven My Mister, but if it were to happen now, probably not.
11/01/2010
If affair means on ongoing thing then no. If it is occured only once then I would be upset but I would eventually forgive him.
11/02/2010