If you and your partner weren't doing so well in the bedroom and you had the opportunity to cheat would you?
Would you cheat?
07/17/2010
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No. I'm just not a cheater. I'm not into the open relationship/swinging idea (although I don't knock it). I would probably try to suggest different things or ideas to make it more interesting in the bedroom. It would be to discovering each over all over again.
07/17/2010
Nope, if I wasn't satisfied with the sex, I'd just work on it or leave the guy to get what I want. Simple.
07/17/2010
I would say no to this! Only because my husband is so open with the idea, I don't even think about it! If this was an issue we would discuss this together before it got that far.
07/17/2010
No! Definitely not! If I'm not satisfied I would talk to my partner and work on things together. No reason to cheat! If things can't be resolved and it was that important to me I'd break up in a decent manner. Wouldn't want it to be done to me, why would I do it to someone else?
07/17/2010
Just because things may go into a sexual rut, I would never leave behind all the love and intimacy and trust we've built together. I wuv my woobsie, even though he's a complete sadist and anime geek.
07/17/2010
Not a chance. You should never let quick thrills endanger a relationship. Its just not smart.
07/18/2010
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I agree - I've seen the damage done by my father's transgressions - I would never do that to my family. In the end the cheater often suffers the most! It's often easier to forgive a spouse than is to forgive ourselves! Seems like an odd thing to say - maybe it's just me.
Originally posted by
Lady Venus
No. I'm just not a cheater. I'm not into the open relationship/swinging idea (although I don't knock it). I would probably try to suggest different things or ideas to make it more interesting in the bedroom. It would be to discovering
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more
No. I'm just not a cheater. I'm not into the open relationship/swinging idea (although I don't knock it). I would probably try to suggest different things or ideas to make it more interesting in the bedroom. It would be to discovering each over all over again.
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07/18/2010
I am far too loyal to ever cheat, no matter what.
07/18/2010
If I was in a monogamous relationship, I would never break that trust. In fact, even when in a polyamorous/open relationship, I often don't feel the urge to sleep with other people.
07/18/2010
I dont care how bad the bedroom is, I dont care if we dont even a bedroom. As far as ime concerned Ime not going to go with any other guy.
Between are realtionship weve both had a few military deployments. I can guarntee you with two years and not having him in bed I didnt think about another guy. I cant stand watching porn because Its not him and It just doesnt feel right to me.
I have "lent a finger" and vise versa to a friend we had threesomes with before we were deployed and he knows that I done/do that. Hes actually pretty cool with it. I wouldnt call that cheating because he knows, and before we did it he said its cool.
Same with him and her, I didnt really care if he had oral/anal with her and she knew the same. Shes single so it acutally works out well...and when I was oversees and he was here they fooled around. The only thing I had a problem with is if they were to have vaginal sex, so they didnt. I know they had anal/oral but I cant really blame him cause I said ok watever if you want go for it with her and she um lets say helped me get off when he was gone.
Now other then that like if he comes back and even touches her(sexually of course) ide make sure he pays for it. But as far as when were gone and somehow usally comes up and were like ok waever just dont do vag without me there.
So if its cheating I dont think so because we both know wa there doin.
Between are realtionship weve both had a few military deployments. I can guarntee you with two years and not having him in bed I didnt think about another guy. I cant stand watching porn because Its not him and It just doesnt feel right to me.
I have "lent a finger" and vise versa to a friend we had threesomes with before we were deployed and he knows that I done/do that. Hes actually pretty cool with it. I wouldnt call that cheating because he knows, and before we did it he said its cool.
Same with him and her, I didnt really care if he had oral/anal with her and she knew the same. Shes single so it acutally works out well...and when I was oversees and he was here they fooled around. The only thing I had a problem with is if they were to have vaginal sex, so they didnt. I know they had anal/oral but I cant really blame him cause I said ok watever if you want go for it with her and she um lets say helped me get off when he was gone.
Now other then that like if he comes back and even touches her(sexually of course) ide make sure he pays for it. But as far as when were gone and somehow usally comes up and were like ok waever just dont do vag without me there.
So if its cheating I dont think so because we both know wa there doin.
07/18/2010
When I'm with someone, I don't even look at other people. The only time I happened to look, my relationship was on the rocks and it was a clue that I needed to end it. But I do not cheat.
07/18/2010
I voted " depends" becuase there wasn't a been there done that regret it Button ... now with that said let me explain...
I am in no means trying to justify my actions becuase there is no excuse I will simply tell you my situation..
I was married when I was 18 to the first man I ever had sex with and at that time the Only man I had ever had sex with.. quickly into our marriage we were sleeping in seperate bedrooms and not even speaking for days at a time unless it was to fight.. Being young and stupid it took us years to fix this .. We both had other partners and it's nothing we are proud of BUT we are Living Proof that Mistakes can be forgiven and dealt with and moved on from .. we grew and learned and we have been married for 12 years now .. and just this month renewed our vows and I couldn't imagine having another man ever I am totally inlove with my husband and I can't thank him or GOD enough for not giving up on us!!
I am in no means trying to justify my actions becuase there is no excuse I will simply tell you my situation..
I was married when I was 18 to the first man I ever had sex with and at that time the Only man I had ever had sex with.. quickly into our marriage we were sleeping in seperate bedrooms and not even speaking for days at a time unless it was to fight.. Being young and stupid it took us years to fix this .. We both had other partners and it's nothing we are proud of BUT we are Living Proof that Mistakes can be forgiven and dealt with and moved on from .. we grew and learned and we have been married for 12 years now .. and just this month renewed our vows and I couldn't imagine having another man ever I am totally inlove with my husband and I can't thank him or GOD enough for not giving up on us!!
07/18/2010
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From the mind of a cheater you are absolutley correct .. I lay more convitction on myself for what I've done than anyone could ever put on me..
Originally posted by
Gunsmoke
I agree - I've seen the damage done by my father's transgressions - I would never do that to my family. In the end the cheater often suffers the most! It's often easier to forgive a spouse than is to forgive ourselves! Seems like an odd
...
more
I agree - I've seen the damage done by my father's transgressions - I would never do that to my family. In the end the cheater often suffers the most! It's often easier to forgive a spouse than is to forgive ourselves! Seems like an odd thing to say - maybe it's just me.
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07/18/2010
Depends! Hmmm..
I say depends for one reason and one reason only.. With my ex husband I cheated every chance I got . There are reason to that. I married him when I was 16, the first year was great. Then it all went down hill. He was 9 years older then me, and he tried to become my daddy as I call it. Sex with him was terrible, we would fight all the time, I just wasn't happy phsyically or mentally. Even though I cheat on him and told him every time that I did with in a few days of doing so, I don't regret it. We was married for 5 1/2 years. At the end of our marriage he told me he was in love with my sister and had been since before we gotten together ,Which by this time I had told him I was in love with his best friend. This upset my sister more then me she was scared to come over to my house because of him. He even tried to make me feel guilty for what I had done by telling me he had cheated on me with my best friend. I didn't believe him but cause I asked her if it was true she felt that I did, which ended our friendship for close to a year.
Now with my husband now, which is my ex husbands ex best friend. No I would never cheat on him. Cause he treats me like a queen. Sex is just a bonus with him. We are both tuned into each others bodies so we dont have to have sex to please one another. Just sitting in the chair cuddling is just fine for us. He makes she I am pleased and happy phsyically and mentally like a husband should.
I say depends for one reason and one reason only.. With my ex husband I cheated every chance I got . There are reason to that. I married him when I was 16, the first year was great. Then it all went down hill. He was 9 years older then me, and he tried to become my daddy as I call it. Sex with him was terrible, we would fight all the time, I just wasn't happy phsyically or mentally. Even though I cheat on him and told him every time that I did with in a few days of doing so, I don't regret it. We was married for 5 1/2 years. At the end of our marriage he told me he was in love with my sister and had been since before we gotten together ,Which by this time I had told him I was in love with his best friend. This upset my sister more then me she was scared to come over to my house because of him. He even tried to make me feel guilty for what I had done by telling me he had cheated on me with my best friend. I didn't believe him but cause I asked her if it was true she felt that I did, which ended our friendship for close to a year.
Now with my husband now, which is my ex husbands ex best friend. No I would never cheat on him. Cause he treats me like a queen. Sex is just a bonus with him. We are both tuned into each others bodies so we dont have to have sex to please one another. Just sitting in the chair cuddling is just fine for us. He makes she I am pleased and happy phsyically and mentally like a husband should.
07/18/2010
I've had opportunities to cheat and I've turned down every single one of them because one night that could be physically awesome is not worth throwing away my entire relationship and everything we've worked towards, even if I'm no longer with that guy anymore. I've never cheated, and I never would.
07/18/2010
I don't think I could. I'd want to break up first and tie up any and all loose ends before doing anything because i really do hate drama and the like.
07/18/2010
When you cheat because you're unsatisfied, you're only thinking of yourself. Which leads down a very bad road of not working on your marriage, or relationship with a partner, and it will affect every area of that relationship, not just the sex.
When you focus on your partner instead of yourself and work toward that relationship, it can only get better.
When you focus on your partner instead of yourself and work toward that relationship, it can only get better.
07/18/2010
Quote:
same
Originally posted by
Jul!a
I've had opportunities to cheat and I've turned down every single one of them because one night that could be physically awesome is not worth throwing away my entire relationship and everything we've worked towards, even if I'm no
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more
I've had opportunities to cheat and I've turned down every single one of them because one night that could be physically awesome is not worth throwing away my entire relationship and everything we've worked towards, even if I'm no longer with that guy anymore. I've never cheated, and I never would.
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I mean my line of work is probably 95% guys. Theres few females, and alot of the guys dont have much of a relationship, if any. Some do, but then afterall its one were they dont see her for a while and "just want some pussy" or "just a quikie baby, no one has to find out"
07/18/2010
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Absolutely not. There's just so much in a relationship besides just sex. I also think almost anyone can make it work sexually if they just know how to communicate and are willing to work at it.
Originally posted by
SexyySarah
If you and your partner weren't doing so well in the bedroom and you had the opportunity to cheat would you?
07/18/2010
Quote:
My partners demand open comminucation about how I am feeling about all aspects of our lives so I can't see a situation where I'd be unsatisfied in the bedroom and "need" to cheat. We recognize that there are times you feel attracted to others and might want to have sex with them but we don't count that as cheating since our agreements require full disclosure. It can actually be intimidating to potential playmates cause we come as a unit even if all three of us won't be participating!
Originally posted by
SexyySarah
If you and your partner weren't doing so well in the bedroom and you had the opportunity to cheat would you?
Sigel sometimes took the opportunity to cheat, way back in the dark ages of our relationship, but he never felt comfortable or good about it. These days we try to live by the motto: If I don't think I'll look back on the experience with pleasure then it's something I shouldn't be doing. He's found that the compulsion to cheat was taken away once is opinions and feelings were properly validated...on the flip side my unwillingness to play in the bedroom (with him and with our life partner) increased when MY feelings and opinions were validated.
My point is if you are feeling like you might want to just go out and get your "needs" met in a cheating relationship then I urge you to try talking to your partner. Theurge to step out is almost always driven away by true intimacy and validaton.
07/18/2010
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I have watched the pain in my husband's eyes and how his cheating diminished him in his own eyes. It is the second most painful thing I've ever seen. The problem is the first most painful thing I've ever seen is the look in my own eyes..the look of betrayal and complete bewilderment. I don't want to be the one to inflict that on someone else.
Originally posted by
Gunsmoke
I agree - I've seen the damage done by my father's transgressions - I would never do that to my family. In the end the cheater often suffers the most! It's often easier to forgive a spouse than is to forgive ourselves! Seems like an odd
...
more
I agree - I've seen the damage done by my father's transgressions - I would never do that to my family. In the end the cheater often suffers the most! It's often easier to forgive a spouse than is to forgive ourselves! Seems like an odd thing to say - maybe it's just me.
less
07/18/2010
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Very well put! I know exactly what you're talking about.
Originally posted by
Airen Wolf
I have watched the pain in my husband's eyes and how his cheating diminished him in his own eyes. It is the second most painful thing I've ever seen. The problem is the first most painful thing I've ever seen is the look in my own
...
more
I have watched the pain in my husband's eyes and how his cheating diminished him in his own eyes. It is the second most painful thing I've ever seen. The problem is the first most painful thing I've ever seen is the look in my own eyes..the look of betrayal and complete bewilderment. I don't want to be the one to inflict that on someone else.
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07/18/2010
I don't think I could do it. I'd be looking to find a way to fix the sex, and if I couldn't, I'd just quit the relationship before I would ever cheat on him or her.
07/18/2010
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No. I wouldn't. I have, and it was stupid. I should have just left-(abusive relationship with stalker boyfriend) and never gone back. But I dug myself a deeper hole. Now I'm free and married (that was years ago) and I'm smarter and stronger now. I was weak then.
Originally posted by
SexyySarah
If you and your partner weren't doing so well in the bedroom and you had the opportunity to cheat would you?
08/30/2010
No, and I never will have to since we are open.
08/30/2010
Nope. I was however, completely emotionally and physically unfulfilled in my marriage and did consider it. But since I knew whatever I did was just going to be a step toward me leaving the relationship, I cut out the middleman, so to say, packed my stuff, and left. It was not a relationship worth salvaging for me so I cut my losses and moved on with my life while I was still young and could completely start over. I know people that have been tied down by kids and financial issues though, and have taken this route. Some regret it, but others see it as their only option - whether they're right or not really can't be judged because you never know what it's really like to be in someone else's position.
08/30/2010
Never. I have sworn an oath and that is that. I'd definitely masturbate if I was in a situation where I needed to blow off some sexual tension and we were "conjugally estranged", but it's not worth betraying her, myself, and the rest of the family.
Relationships are more than sex.
Relationships are more than sex.
08/30/2010
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Absolutely not!
Originally posted by
SexyySarah
If you and your partner weren't doing so well in the bedroom and you had the opportunity to cheat would you?
10/23/2010
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i am poly so technically can date more than one tho I suppose there are cheating ways even in poly but basically i never have to cheat because i can always negotiate a new relationship into whatever else i have going on with whoever and so can they.
Originally posted by
SexyySarah
If you and your partner weren't doing so well in the bedroom and you had the opportunity to cheat would you?
i think the more long term the relationship, the more chance there will be for sexual incompatibilities so if you are monogamous, you will need to decide what to do with that.
can you satisfy yourself by masturbating, using toys etc because whether you are looking for it or not, there are always opportunities for anyone to cheat. and 'new relationship energy' is always exciting, and feeds our ego at a time when we may be feeling less attention from our partner so a new relationship or something on the side can feel very good.
10/23/2010