The New Intimacy

Keeping your name after marriage?

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Contributor: Kynky Kytty Kynky Kytty
Quote:
Originally posted by ScottA
I think that Spanish and Hispanic cultures have an interesting system. As I understand it the spouses keep their names and the childrens' names are hyphenated.
I know that the "hyphenation" is quite popular in Quebec, but it's not a norm either. It's just a decision from the parents. I have my father's name only, but I also know a good number of people with a hyphenated surname and family name, both. It gets a little ridiculous at that point. I mean, would you like to be called: Scott-Matthias Devine-Johnson?

Oh and about the spouses keeping their name, there was a law against the name changing. You'd have to go through a regular name change costing like 500$ to take your husband's name. So no, we usually don't.
08/16/2011
Contributor: T&A1987 T&A1987
both people take the letters of their last name and come up with a new one.
11/26/2011
Contributor: Owl Identified Owl Identified
Female, not yet married, if and when I do I will not change my name nor expect my partner to change theirs.
11/26/2011
Contributor: Pink Jewel Pink Jewel
I changed my name.
11/27/2011
Contributor: Love Perpetua Love Perpetua
Quote:
Originally posted by Kindred
They didn't simply hyphenate their names, they actually merged the names together and made a completely new one. So in your example, if Smith married Jones, they made something like Josmith for both of their last names.
Ooh, I really like this idea! Kind of a beautiful concept, rather than taking your husbands name and losing your own, you both share a new name for a new family. I was thinking I would probably keep my name or switch it to my middle name, but I like this idea better. As long as it doesn't come out as something really weird.
11/27/2011
Contributor: Peggi Peggi
The first time I was married I refused to change my last name, but this time around, I started saying my first name with his last name as soon as I realized I loved him to see how it would sound together haha.

I think that it doesn't really matter whether people change their last name or not, but I certainly knew from the get-go that I wanted to change mine!
11/27/2011
Contributor: M121212 M121212
I probably won't change my last name if/when I get married. I like it.
11/27/2011
Contributor: jedent jedent
i did not legally change my name but i do use the name. the only time it matters is tax time.
11/27/2011
Contributor: Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by VieuxCarre
I heard this discussed on the Today Show this morning and thought I'd ask here. How many of you have changed your name, or would change your name, after marriage? Would you keep your last name after marriage? Vote and discuss!
I am just old school about that. My daughter..getting married next year, is too. If someone does not care to change their name..fine. Makes sending them cards a bit tougher and is confusing to schools and such, but not THAT big a deal. It just seems to ME that members of the same family should share the same name, that's all.
11/27/2011
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
I took his last name. I use my maiden name before his name on a few things, but we both have long names, (mine a long Mediterranean name and his a hard to pronounce Eastern European name) and it would have been cruel to give such a long hyphenated name to a child.

Few people hyphenate anymore, if they use both names, they simply put one after the other. Like someone else said, it doesn't fit on credit cards, IDs etc. I have a lot of Latina friends and clients and they don't hyphenate, but they do use the names of many ancestors, one after the other. Usually, they simply use their husband's name for every day.

I always find it funny when I see people from my childhood, because they call me by my maiden name and after so many years, it sounds strange.
11/27/2011
Contributor: Errant Venture Errant Venture
I'll not be changing my name, but I'd really like it if she changed her surname to mine.
11/28/2011
Contributor: Silverdrop Silverdrop
I changed my name with my first marriage, then went back to my maiden name.
11/28/2011
Contributor: Silverdrop Silverdrop
Changing your name right out of school is no big deal. Doing it after you've built up bank accounts, property, etc, is a huge hassle. So I wouldn't do it if I was getting married now.
11/28/2011
Contributor: TheSlyFox TheSlyFox
I'm getting married next month and will change my last name to his.
11/29/2011
Contributor: pasdechat pasdechat
I'm not married, but if/when I do, I don't plan on taking my husband's name. I am rather partial to the idea of both of us changing our names to a hyphenated form, but I suspect there are not many men who would be on board with that :\
06/24/2012
Contributor: oldman oldman
Quote:
Originally posted by Kindred
I did not change my name, and my wife took my last name but kept her own as well. However, what can be confusing is that she legally now has 4 names (given, middle, maiden, and last). Her maiden name is no longer a part of her last name. ... more
Just curious...would you be happy to change your last name to her maiden name?
06/24/2012
Contributor: pirkit pirkit
I don't plan to change my name. I just don't see the point nowadays.
06/24/2012
Contributor: Gone (LD29) Gone (LD29)
I have been married for about five years, and have not legally changed my last name. At least, not yet.

There have been a few instances where I have used my husband's last name, and most people in our families just assumed that I would be changing my name. I get mail addressed to me that way fairly often.

Initially, I wasn't really set on changing my name, but now I think I may like to share a last name with our son (who has my husband's last name).
06/24/2012
Contributor: Pinkshirt Pinkshirt
Quote:
Originally posted by Hot'n'Bothered
I guess I'm kind of other. I suppose legally I did change my last name (SSN was done very quickly, but DL took years...long story).

But there are instances where I use my maiden name instead....
Lol it took me 3 years to change my DL and I still haven't changed my credit cards or bank account names.
06/24/2012
Contributor: MistressDandelion MistressDandelion
I don't really care, but since I'm the only child in my family to still bear my name I'd like to keep it, and give it to my children.
06/24/2012
Contributor: Missmarc Missmarc
I am not married, and even if I am, I will always keep my last name.
06/24/2012
Contributor: Deeder Deeder
Married, and took my husband's last name. To me it was the whole "the two shall become one" thing. Plus, I didn't want to end up trying to explain to our kids why Mommy and Daddy have different names.
06/24/2012
Contributor: Nyxx Nyxx
I changed my name.
06/24/2012
Contributor: pootpootpoot pootpootpoot
I don't care for my last name at all unless my future husband has a completely intolerable surname I will be taking it as my own. Plus it's a cute sentimental gesture~
06/24/2012
Contributor: Melan!e Melan!e
I love my last name. When I get married I'm keeping my name. No disrespect to my partner or his family name but I'm proud of mine.
06/24/2012
Contributor: asphyxia asphyxia
I hyphenate, mostly because my father died when I was a teen and I wanted his name to carry on. It has turned out to be such a monumental pain, that I really wish I had just changed my name to my husband's. So many web forms don't allow for hyphenation, or the fields are too small to fit my whole name, and people get REALLY confused when I try and give them my name over the phone. It has turned to be a load of trouble!
06/24/2012
Contributor: hall5885 hall5885
If I was to get married I'll just keep my name. Less paper work the better to me.
06/25/2012
Contributor: Badass Badass
My guy says we cant get married unless we have both last names. The Smith-Doe's family.
06/25/2012
Contributor: Beck Beck
I did take my partner's last name, but at first I did the hyphen thing. Only because I hadn't changed my SSN or my ID to my married name. So, I had to sign everything with both names. I wanted to keep it like that, but realized that signing things as is I run out of space, so adding more to isn't an option. I just switched to my married name. I still have to make it to the Social Security office.
06/25/2012
Contributor: xMila xMila
I changed my last name, because I wanted to, not out of obligation or tradition.
06/25/2012