The New Intimacy

Keeping your name after marriage?

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Contributor: Chilipepper Chilipepper
Quote:
Originally posted by Jul!a
I'm in the process of changing my last night right now. I'm going from close to the beginning of the alphabet to close to the end, lol.
It's shocking at first whenever something is done in alphabetical order and you name is called for it - you're used to being called at a certain place and you wonder what's wrong when you're passed over, then it surprises you when your new name is called.
01/20/2011
Contributor: Lady Venus Lady Venus
I'm not married yet, we plan to, but I will be taking his last name. I'm glad though, his is much easier to spell and I won't have to tell everybody how to spell my name.
01/20/2011
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by Chilipepper
It's shocking at first whenever something is done in alphabetical order and you name is called for it - you're used to being called at a certain place and you wonder what's wrong when you're passed over, then it surprises you when ... more
I'm hoping I won't run into that for a long time, but it's still weird to see it. Since the only place the change has gone through so far is on Facebook, it took me a while to get used to, and not look at my own profile going "who the hell is that??" lol
01/20/2011
Contributor: rdytogo rdytogo
Married and changed my name. I prefer's my husbands last name to my maiden name. Very happy about that
01/20/2011
Contributor: sbon sbon
I'm not married and I'm not sure. I think it will depend on how I like the way his last name sounds with my first name. My last name is definitely too long to hyphenate, so that's out of the question, too.
01/20/2011
Contributor: danellejohns danellejohns
My husband and I had the same last name (no relation-triple checked that one) so it never was an issue. But I believe I would have changed my last name had the situation been different
01/20/2011
Contributor: BJismyname BJismyname
Jesibel's boyfriend and mine are brothers, and I'm totally with her. I will be taking my bfs name because it is easier. There is probably some over-thought psychoanalysis thing about cutting myself off from my family but i might be ok with that LOL.
01/20/2011
Contributor: 34 34
my wife kept her last name and we have had no problems with overseas travel or any other paperwork.As for what other people think we are not worried in the slightest.
01/20/2011
Contributor: LikeSunshineDust LikeSunshineDust
When I marry J, I'll be happy to take his name.
01/20/2011
Contributor: Raggedy Andie Raggedy Andie
I love my last name but I also wanted to honour my husband by taking his. I have just hyphenated the two.
01/20/2011
Contributor: BadassFatass BadassFatass
I'm definitely up for changing my last name. I've never enjoyed the one I've been stuck with all my life...and my boyfriend has a better one, lol.
01/21/2011
Contributor: Eliza Eliza
I don't know if I will ever get married, but I honestly think it would depend on my partner's name. I am really very partial to my current last name, and I'm not sure if I would ever want to give it up.
01/21/2011
Contributor: Ajax Ajax
I'm not married, but I would take his name....if I couldn't get him to take mine.
02/28/2011
Contributor: girl next door girl next door
I like the four names I already have. I don't need to add another one. And I am a feminist in that way. I would not change my name. My mom never changed her name and I know I will follow in her foot steps
02/28/2011
Contributor: BadgersRose BadgersRose
If I can ever get him to marry me then I will use his last name...I will just have to be used to spelling it to everyone as no one can pronounce it...Its polish
02/28/2011
Contributor: joja joja
My finace and I plan to make up our own last name. I'm not comfortable with taking his, but I don't want to keep mine (it is already hyphenated, very long, and invariably mispronounced). Now we're just debating about what it'll be
02/28/2011
Contributor: ScottA ScottA
I think that Spanish and Hispanic cultures have an interesting system. As I understand it the spouses keep their names and the childrens' names are hyphenated.
03/01/2011
Contributor: lezergirl lezergirl
I'm not going to change my name b/c my partner is also a girl, but even if I were straight I always planned on keeping it. I guess I like it too much
03/01/2011
Contributor: Eden C. Eden C.
I always thought I would change my name, as people in my country (the US) are always fucking up my Jewish name (especially in the South, where I live). I was hoping I could change it out for a name with a more obvious pronunciation.

However, I'm engaged to a Chinese girl, and the pronunciation of her last name is nothing like how it looks in Latin script, so...I'm probably going to keep mine.
03/02/2011
Contributor: Cream in the Cupcake Cream in the Cupcake
i will hyphonate when i get married. my name and his last name would sound too weird together without my last name. my mom hyphonated too.
03/02/2011
Contributor: Valentinka Valentinka
I think, I most definitely won't change my name, because it will only bring me troubles with documents and stuff. For example, I will need to prove that my diploma is really mine, the same with my language certificates etc.
Don't know about the USA, really. Maybe it's not such a problem there
However, I considered taking a double surname, that seems interesting )))
03/02/2011
Contributor: slynch slynch
My wife got married over 6 months ago and she changed her name and we are still dealing with changing everything over to the new name. Some off the top of my head are: Drivers License, checking account, insurance, credit cards, post office, our lease, and then there's all the accounts at her job (the accounts have to be recreated under the new name because their login is first initial & last name) and work email.
04/05/2011
Contributor: PersonalAngel PersonalAngel
I like my last name and hate his so I would most likely keep mine
04/05/2011
Contributor: Ms. Spice Ms. Spice
I'll probably take his last name when i get married
08/16/2011
Contributor: hjtee hjtee
I hyphenated my last name, but I put his name first. So it goes:
'NAME' 'HIS SURNAME'-'MAIDEN NAME'
08/16/2011
Contributor: Kkay Kkay
I'm married, didn't change my surname, and don't plan to.
08/16/2011
Contributor: Crystal1 Crystal1
I like the concept of sharing a last name with my husband as a symbol of sharing a life.
08/16/2011
Contributor: PussyPurr PussyPurr
I took my ex-husband's name when I got married and really regretted it. I had intended to keep my birth name, but he talked me out of that. As soon as we divorced, I changed my name back.

I have no plans to ever marry again OR change my name. I was born with my name and I'll die with it. I see no need to change it. In my household, we all have different last names (me, my partner, my son and my daughter; son and daughter have different dads). Should I ever desire a formal commitment, I plan to do a civil union (available in my state) with a commitment ceremony at my Unitarian Universalist church (where more "modern" surname practices are employed, such as hyphenating, making up new ones, or combining names), without changing my name.

My name is an integral part of my family and ethnic identity. I don't ever intend to make the mistake of letting someone pressure me into doing something so drastic again!
08/16/2011
Contributor: aliceinthehole aliceinthehole
i have a couple friends who both changed their last names to darko when they married. so now they're john darko and megan darko. it's so cool.

i would like to create a last name with my husband. something reflective of what we're creating together.

something amazing. like 'delmar' or 'avventura.'

08/16/2011
Contributor: TameTemptress TameTemptress
I'm married and happily changed my last name to his.
08/16/2011