Thank you, Zuul.

Additionally: Fairly new movements involving not following the core tenants of societal expectation are going to have rocky starts with both extremists and the common sense types being part of it. Feminism, equal rights, etc., all had their most radical proponents but also their most eloquent believers. Those who do not hate prefer not to be lumped together with those who do just because they share a desire for an end result. less

Childfree here! When I was pretty young, the idea of having a family of my own seemed totally alien and uninteresting. Adults around me would say I'd change my mind. At 30, I still have not. I've been in a happy relationship for almost half my life and my partner is as certain about his childfree stance as I am. I think that if he had not been certain, I would have not chosen him. Having kids is a huge deal, and people need to be clear about what they want. They also should not try to change the other's feelings on the matter. That stuff really bothers me.

Despite being the more enlightened (?) 21st century, I have gotten a weird amount of pressure and odd looks for things like not wanting kids, not wanting to change my birth name. The negative attention drove me a little batty and at those times, it is easy to become a bit defensive. Especially when you feel a little alone. I was happy to find the childfree community to vent. I have had fun with their talk, but I think that some of their negativity makes all of us look bad. I might the impolite terms for children when it's just my partner and I or a close friend. I don't like saying very negative things about kids or parents very openly unless something went really that bad and I was treated with extreme impoliteness first. And then I try not to generalize. I've been in the receiving end of nasty generalizations plenty. less

Sorry for some trolling, I don't mean to judge all of the childfree people here. People can have various health issues or some similar considerations (im not yet sure what) that stops them.

I was aiming at the people who brag with this choice as if it is the only right one, considering themselves superior to others, treating children as if its the worst thing in life, calling them gargoyles and such. In me it causes nothing but anger and...despair. (besides thoughts of people afraid of taking responsibilities. - id be glad if you could prove me wrong)

All people have their own choices, like about how to contribute to the world in some way, and i hope people who refuse to have kids know some other way to leave something of value after they die.

Children is just the default - I mean, nature did a good job designing us so that we could reproduce, live on as a species without becoming extinct, making reproduction one of our primary goals in life.
So you guys look quite odd here. less

I don't consider myself superior for not having children, its just not for me. I don't like children, BUT I am glad others do, someone needs too. Children would be the worst thing in the world for me, but if its not for you that's fine as long as you try to be a good parent. By the way MY reasons for not having children is all about responsibility, because I have a much greater possibility of passing some really nasty genetic disorders. So for me not reproducing is the responsible choice, I am not going to bring a person into the world knowing they could have such problems.

PS: your argument for reproducing is not valid. Your argument is based on whats natural, but whats often considered natural is based on tradition and just because something is traditional does not make it right.

Even if it is not based on tradition but whats natural, having reasons for not reproducing could be considered natural. Because as humans exercising reason is natural for us.

I apologize if I have offended anyone, I just get really defensive because I am sick and tired of pro children people being prejudice referring to child free people as irresponsible, selfish and so on. less

Hmm, if my mother decided not to have me, I wouldn't care. I wouldn't be here.




*gasp* Also, stick another overly-used repeat of a Bingo on the sheet from another poster, not the one above, they just had a question.

By the way, the term 'Breeder' on the card below refers to people who have children just to have them and are convinced that EVERYONE should pop out a few in order to live a 'healthy, loving, and full life'. *checks off 'you were children once' Pfft, I hated children when I was one, moot point.

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one, that is perfect. Two, does anyone else feel like others think we're irresponsible or selfish to not want kids? I understand thinking that about people who don't want the kids they have. They created that responsibility and ignoring it would be selfish. For the kidless however, it sometimes feels as though we're bad people for not wanting to accept a responsibility that doesn't exist. less

I'm childfree and I'd love to keep it that way! You can really get sterilized? Why have I never heard of this?!

I decided if I ever wanted kids that I'd adopt. There is no unselfish reason to choose birthing your own spawn to help in overpopulating the world as opposed to adoption. less

I did a bunch of research in order to find out I could get sterilized at 21 AND have it paid for by my state (IL). Do some digging about in your own area and see if you could find something.

I'm not even having my tubes tied, just blocked irreversibly by tiny metal coils. They'll just knock me out for a half hour or so and I can be up and walking about the next day. Of course there will be lots of pain as they're going through all the normal holes that haven't been stretched open before, but that's why I'll be getting prescription pain meds as well! less

technically ARP wanted people who don't want children to be considered childFREE while people who want children but can't, or haven't to be childLESS. the distinction being that free means a person does not have what they don't want and less means they do not have something they do want. less