Awww, what a cute baby!

What a cutie.

I don't get people's objection to breast-feeding mothers. They're feeding a baby, not performing live sex acts. If the person watching can't tell the difference, then the problem lies with them, not with the nursing mother.

For those who find a bare breast horrifying and disgusting, be glad you don't live in New York, Hawaii, Maine, Texas or Washington, DC. Women have the right to go topless in those places, no hungry baby required. link

Then it looks like we both read things into each others' posts that were not there. For my part, I am going to apologize for my having done that.

However, there are ways of indirectly judging people as well, and to be frank, I've had to defend my choice way too many times to people who have no right to question it. I guess it's a hot-button topic with me, because, well, it's my choice and no one else's to make.

I guess I just don't get why it's okay to judge in one direction, but not in the other. It seems to be perfectly fine to judge a woman for *not* breastfeeding, and to cast all sorts of aspersions upon her, but it's not okay to have any kind of issue with breastfeeding. (I'm not pointing that at you in particular, by the way; it's just become sort of clear to me through reading this entire thread that judgment of non-breastfeeding women is perfectly fine for some reason. Unless, of course, their reason for not breastfeeding is "good enough".)

I'm an abuse and rape survivor as well. I understand your triggers. It is different (mentally, emotionally, physically) when it's your children. And if and when you have children, you will understand that. (and I'm not saying that to be patronizing, I mean that in the sincerest way possible)

I would eagerly encourage you to seek help for dealing with your PTSD and depression. Especially for your triggers. I would encourage you to seek someone whose area of expertise is helping survivors to reclaim their sexual identity and freedom.

Good luck.

I understand 100%, I have felt the same exact judgement when I started feeding my son his medical formula, its not right to judge on either side, we are all just trying to care for our children.

BBW is correct, I am also a rape survivor and I thought breastfeeding would be too hard for me, but I sought therapy and when my son was born it just seemed like a natural thing to do, there was no trigger just the little face looking up at me needing my help. Even if you only nurse for a few weeks, it makes a difference

You might not have meant it to be patronizing, but...I'm sorry to say that it really came off that way. Please don't tell it will be somehow "different" when they're my children instead of someone else's. I know you only meant to be helpful, but it doesn't help.

I have been in therapy for years. Sixteen, to be exact.

I'm glad that for you there was no trigger. If I ever choose to have children (which is doubtful; I've never wanted children, and it doesn't seem to be changing as I get older) then I hope it is the same for me, but there is never any guarantee.

I think it's probably better that I step away from this thread. I should have known better than to get involved in the first place, actually; whenever I get involved in a discussion about breastfeeding it always ends up in the same place.

AW. What a sweetie!

Two of my kids have Sensory Processing Disorder and Tourette's Syndrome and my youngest both of these and has mild Auspergers. (with an IQ that is higher than the school tests can test for. Their tests top out at 135 and we were told she was "above the edge of the bell curve and topped out the score. There is no way we can even get a ball park on this girl's IQ.") We are supposed to get a "private" IQ test, but we can't afford it at the time being.) I agree, putting a blanket over these kids heads would feel like actual suffocation to them. My oldest would SCREAM so hard, and cry so hard when I tried a blanket that she would get too upset to nurse. Then, I'd have a very unhappy baby, who hadn't had any food or fluid and was screaming also. What "offends" people more? A breast you can't even SEE or a screaming child?

The blanket over the head may work for some kids, but not for mine.

Your son is beautiful.

I also agree it is GOOD for children to see babies breastfeeding. If their parents are so hung up that they don't tell their children about the way babies are fed, how the hell are they going to find out?

I always breastfed in public. Was I "discreet?" I guess that depends on one's definition. I did NOT cover myself with a freaking tent, and blankets failed with us. However, no one ever saw more or even the amount of my breast that one would see with a low cut top. Most of the time people would just walk up to me and ask to see the sleeping baby. I'd just say, "She's nursing now. Maybe you can see her when she's done." Most people were very polite about this. I NEVER had anyone give me a dirty look or say anything. Of course, I met people eye to eye and usually smiled while I was nursing. I had nothing to be ashamed of, I was proud of the way I was feeding my babies and it showed.

AW. What a sweetie!

Two of my kids have Sensory Processing Disorder and Tourette's Syndrome and my youngest both of these and has mild Auspergers. (with an IQ that is higher than the school tests can test for. Their tests top out at 135 and we were told she was "above the edge of the bell curve and topped out the score. There is no way we can even get a ball park on this girl's IQ.") We are supposed to get a "private" IQ test, but we can't afford it at the time being.) I agree, putting a blanket over these kids heads would feel like actual suffocation to them. My oldest would SCREAM so hard, and cry so hard when I tried a blanket that she would get too upset to nurse. Then, I'd have a very unhappy baby, who hadn't had any food or fluid and was screaming also. What "offends" people more? A breast you can't even SEE or a screaming child?

The blanket over the head may work for some kids, but not for mine.

Your son is beautiful.

I also agree it is GOOD for children to see babies breastfeeding. If their parents are so hung up that they don't tell their children about the way babies are fed, how the hell are they going to find out?

I always breastfed in public. Was I "discreet?" I guess that depends on one's definition. I did NOT cover myself with a freaking tent, and blankets failed with us. However, no one ever saw more or even the amount of my breast that one would see with a low cut top. Most of the time people would just walk up to me and ask to see the sleeping baby. I'd just say, "She's nursing now. Maybe you can see her when she's done." Most people were very polite about this. I NEVER had anyone give me a dirty look or say anything. Of course, I met people eye to eye and usually smiled while I was nursing. I had nothing to be ashamed of, I was proud of the way I was feeding my babies and it showed.

My guess would be La Leche League? I was a LLL leader for 20 years. I just stopped leading meetings a few months ago. Great organization, but really not what it was since the internet. I really miss those days and the commradrie I had with other women who chose to parent the same way I did. It was magical.

No, I don't. WHO are you talking about? I've never seen a woman intentionally "let it hang out" so she can be outraged. Women take out their breasts to feed their children. Seeing as I'm a Lactation Consultant and have worked with close to 10,000 women in my career, I'd like to meet one of these women, just for interest's sake.

Where do you suppose I would run into such a creature?

ABSOLUTELY! I have had a large number of clients who were sexually abused (I was, too, and I nursed my kids for as long as 4 years) and I encourage every woman with an issue like this to get into therapy and come to grips with the issue BEFORE giving birth.

I can assure these women, there are things that are going to be much stronger triggers than breastfeeding. My biggest triggers were when my oldest dd was about the age I was when the abuse took place. I OWED IT to my kids to get my house in order before I had them (and while I was raising them) so that I could be the best mother possible. Breastfeeding aside, there are so many things that cause trigger moments in Mothering, that I think anyone who has had the misfortune (and that is a LOT of us) to have been brutalized as children needs to do everything in his or her power to gain control of the issue, to retract the Power of the abuser, and to allow oneself to be free from the horror, so that one can be a good, full time, all the way there mother. The feeding method has little impact on this, but MOTHERING itself does.

I got the help, got my Power back and the abuser holds NOTHING over me anymore. I'm not a "victim" I'm not a "survivor" I'm just a women who regained her power over a bad person's actions. By doing so I could be fully there for my children, no matter how they were fed.

They make nursing tanks (which didn't come out around the age my youngest was weaned) that open from the top, like a bra, but have the tank cover your tummy. Not only is it a bit discreet, but it covers "post pregnancy belly" really nicely. Here's one

I was so jealous when these came out. It was right around the time my youngest was close to being totally weaned, and we were only nursing about 3 times a week and she didn't need it while we were out anymore (Damn, the kid was FOUR!) I wish I had had these tops for all my kids. The nursing wear when I had my kids was awful! Not to mention expensive and ugly.

They have some really nice nursing clothes now. I did have a couple of nice dresses that I basically lived in when my little one was breastfeeding.

The woman in the picture above has obviously not recently given birth. LOL!