The New Intimacy

Does breastfeeding in public offend you?

Skip to last post
Set alerts
Updates
Forum search
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
In those days, they used to recruit Italian women on the Maternity Ward to nurse the sick babies and the "orphans" and babies who couldn't tolerate formula. Because most Italian women were poor, and were Immigrants, it was believed they were "closer to animals" and thus, were used to doing things like breastfeeding. My grandma and great grandma often supplied milk for "rich" women. These women would buy it, either go right to the woman's house, for a feed, or take it home to their babies in glass milk bottles.

I have actually been asked to nurse other people's babies. (I am guessing in this day and age it is NOT because I am Mediterranean, but because I'm a Lactation Consultant and have spent a good part of my adult life lactating for my own children) I have always had to refuse, because of the liability. And because of my health problems, I was not able to donate milk to the milk banks in the area. I had TONS, with all my kids after my first. I would have bitten the bullet and used the pump more, if I had been able to donate my milk. I know women who have donated to milk banks, some of my clients who have lost babies have done it to help them get over the grief, some women just do it to help other women who may not be able to make milk, but whose babies need it.
09/04/2010
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by SydVicious
That's so crazy, very similar story.
I think this was not uncommon. they had no equipment to nurture pre-term babies in the hospitals back then, so the women had to rely on their intuition to keep their babies alive. My great grandma lost 3 or 4 children very young, so it didn't always work, but I think most women are fierce when it comes to their own children surviving. They do whatever they have to do.
09/04/2010
Contributor: buzzvibe buzzvibe
Sorry, I don't have time to read all the replies, so this is in response to the original post.

I breastfed both of my kids, and when they were hungry I allowed them to eat, no matter where we were or what we were doing. I fail to understand why anyone would think a baby nursing in a restaurant is at all offensive. People go to restaurants to eat. Babies are people. If you don't want to see it, don't look.
09/04/2010
Contributor: Tuesday Tuesday
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
In those days, they used to recruit Italian women on the Maternity Ward to nurse the sick babies and the "orphans" and babies who couldn't tolerate formula. Because most Italian women were poor, and were Immigrants, it was believed they ... more
One of my friends produced too much milk too. She pumped in addition to nursing just to relieve pressure, then donated it.
09/04/2010
Contributor: Avant-garde Avant-garde
I cant say that it would be something that I would want to see in public.
09/04/2010
Contributor: Envy Envy
It doesn't bother me, but I do appreciate when a mother covers with a small blanket. I mean, who really wants to look at breasts while eating at some restaurant? Sure the mother has every right, but I don't want to be stuffing my face while seeing someone woman having it all hang out, ya know? I mean i can always look away, but I feel some discretion should be used, at least i would.
09/04/2010
Contributor: Liz Liz
I have absolutely no issue with it. I think breastfeeding is beautiful and I plan to do it myself when the time comes.
09/04/2010
Contributor: Midway through Midway through
It's natural and part of the process of nature, so therefore I think it's perfectly fine. Anyone who is offended either has poor image of humanity, or doesn't understand the idea of nature.
09/04/2010
Contributor: sarahbear sarahbear
Quote:
Originally posted by Carrie Ann
I realize everyone has a right to their opinion.

We encourage opinions in the forum.

But you guys are coming perilously close to being insulting, offensive, discriminatory and disrespectful.

Hillbilly titties are ugly? Southern ... more
This is what I was just fixing to say. Considering I'm from GA, it's a bit more of a dig.

Breasts come in all shapes and sizes. As women go through the natural things we go through, like pregnancy, breastfeeding and aging, our breasts change. They get bigger, they get smaller, they lose their fullness, they sag.

In regards to the original post, it's pretty common for breastfeeding mothers to be booted out of places for nursing. Typically there's a series of events that happen before the decision to hold a nurse-in happens. The owners of the establishment are contacted by the mother and possibly her local LLL member. They inquire about the company policies and what can be done to change things to make the place more friendly and accommodating for nursing mothers and their children. If the business in question refuses to come to some sort of compromise, then they ask local mothers to come for a legal protest, where they quietly nurse and chat at the establishment (or outside of it).

It's important that they do things like this because new mothers, particularly those who choose to breastfeed, have a lot of trouble getting out and about because of all the extra things you need to do with a kid in tow. If places refuse to allow mothers to nurse their babies, it's extremely inconvenient for the mother to have to leave the establishment to feed the baby. Discretion is wonderful, however, I've nursed my babies and sometimes it's hard to manage a squirmy and hungry baby while trying to fit an engorged and achy breast into their mouth.

I personally think that we could all do well to be a bit more considerate of other people and their circumstances. It's not going to kill anyone to see a nipple or side boob every now and again.
09/04/2010
Contributor: Blanche Blanche
Quote:
Originally posted by Sammi
I see absolutely nothing wrong with it.
I did it with both of mine, and would do it discreetly when possible, but there were times when I didn't or couldn't.

It doesn't bother me to see women breastfeeding in public, whether ... more
I agree with a lot of the comments here - I think it's a natural thing, and I have no problems with it, (either covered or not) and if you can and want to breastfeed, all the power to you! However, that being said, I also agree that it is ideal if one can nurse discreetly. As ToriRebel mentions not everyone is as open to the idea, so being discreet just makes it easier for everyone. I think it is poor taste to just obviously whip it out, particularly in a dining situation. Edited to add - Sarahbear really says it well in the above post in regards to how difficult it can be to nurse in public. At the end of the day, there's a baby that needs to be fed, so you do what you have to do to get your child fed. Dusk mentions those great powder rooms, where the mother can comfortably nurse her child. I've seen some really beautiful nursing rooms, and they are so tranquil and beautifully appointed. It's great if they have them available, but they're not always accessible for a mother. I agree, There needs to be more tolerance to feeding in public.
09/04/2010
Contributor: ToyTimeTim ToyTimeTim
Quote:
Originally posted by sarahbear
This is what I was just fixing to say. Considering I'm from GA, it's a bit more of a dig.

Breasts come in all shapes and sizes. As women go through the natural things we go through, like pregnancy, breastfeeding and aging, our breasts ... more
I would just like to reiterate, my sincere apologies, I truly did not mean to offend any one, whether you are from the south or anywhere else. I was just caught up in the moment and was not thinking.
09/04/2010
Contributor: Blinker Blinker
Quote:
Originally posted by sarahbear
This is what I was just fixing to say. Considering I'm from GA, it's a bit more of a dig.

Breasts come in all shapes and sizes. As women go through the natural things we go through, like pregnancy, breastfeeding and aging, our breasts ... more
I'm from GA, too, and again, I'm sorry.
09/04/2010
Contributor: PassionQT PassionQT
I'd personally rather see a loving mother nursing her baby than some guy scratching/adjusting his nuts or a person "digging for gold". It happens though, whatever. All can be done with consideration for other people around them.
09/05/2010
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by PassionQT
I'd personally rather see a loving mother nursing her baby than some guy scratching/adjusting his nuts or a person "digging for gold". It happens though, whatever. All can be done with consideration for other people around them.
Yep, and I think EVERYONE would rather "tolerate" a nursing baby, rather than a hungry, screaming, whining, unhappy one. When a breast is in the baby's mouth, he or she is usually VERY quiet. I've had people come up to me, while feeding a baby in public, wanting to "see the sleeping baby" when the baby was wide awake and just nursing quietly.

One of my kids made loud Nummy noises when she nursed and there was really no way to be completely "discreet" while feeding her. This one also refused to nurse if a blanket was near her face, and would either throw the blanket off or bite me, if I insisted. It made less of a fuss and got me LESS attention to just feed her, sans blanket. Those blankets are always falling off anyway, then you have to BEND OVER with a baby on the breast. Then the baby is going to pop off, to see why you are moving around and THEN you have a breast out "in public." I actually think the whole "blanket over the shoulder" thingy attracts more attention and causes more trouble than just quietly lifting your shirt and nursing the baby freestyle.

And wearing a shirt you can LIFT rather than upbutton from the top is much easier, not to mention more discreet. I don't know why all the pictures you see in the media have a woman with a shirt UNBUTTONED from the top in them.....oh yeah, those are put out by companies who DON'T want you to nurse, and will do anything to make it seem unseemly. (Ross Laboratories, Abbot Labs, Nestle, etc.) They actually make choices based on making breastfeeding appear uncomfortable, difficult and not acceptable "in public." Stop these companies from advertising, and half the battle is won.

If formula needs to be used, it should be a decision between the mother and her doctor, not up to the jerks on Madison Avenue.
09/05/2010
Contributor: Jenn (aka kissmykitty) Jenn (aka kissmykitty)
(EdenFantasys)
While breastfeeding is certainly not the most glamourous act out there, it is nevertheless a beautiful one, as the women that choose to do it are putting aside their own preferences and anxieties about possible changes to their breasts in order to provide the best possible nutrition for their babies.

I am very much for breastfeeding (I breastfed my daughter for ten months and my son for fourteen months, and I pumped in between breastfeeding sessions in order to have a surplus of milk), and breastfeeding in public. Discreetness -- choosing a secluded area and making use of layered shirts in order to minimize the boob flashage (which benefits the mothers, too; I can tell you from personal experience that the majority of breastfeeding women do not get any kind of pleasure out of flashing their breasts to the general public) are always appreciated, and should be done if possible. But if not? Oh well. Babies have to eat, and mothers shouldn't have to put their lives and sometimes their families' lives on hold in order to appease those who are not keen on the idea of breastfeeding.

Perhaps if society would quit over-sexualizing breasts AND realize that breasts are dual-purpose -- they can provide pleasure as well as sustenance -- this would be a non-issue.

In summary? If you don't like it, don't look.
09/05/2010
Contributor: Riccio Riccio
Quote:
Originally posted by Carrie Ann
I realize everyone has a right to their opinion.

We encourage opinions in the forum.

But you guys are coming perilously close to being insulting, offensive, discriminatory and disrespectful.

Hillbilly titties are ugly? Southern ... more
Brava! That needed to be said.
09/06/2010
Contributor: LikeSunshineDust LikeSunshineDust
I think it's just fine if done discreetly. I went to grab some lunch with some coworkers about a month ago and a woman nearby had to breastfeed and did it very discreetly with a blanket over her and her baby. Still, my coworkers decided it was a big deal and we snickering about it and being dumb. I couldn't even say anything to them, but all I was thinking was "Grow the eff up."
09/06/2010
Contributor: Pleasure Piratess Pleasure Piratess
Growing up I never knew anyone who breastfed and I couldn't imagine such a thing. When I started nursing school we were taught how much better human milk is for human babies (aside from all the above info... did you know that a mothers milk changes over time in nutrients just be perfectly aligned to what her baby needs? How cool is that?). When I got pregnant the first time I finally knew a love without bounds, and since mothers milk was the best, I was determined for my child to have this benefit (did you also know it has been scientifically tested that children who breastfed have higher IQ's then their bottle-fed peers?). It took a lot of convincing to get my family on-board with my decision, including my husband, but they were very supportive once they understood my reasoning.
I was alone all day with a child who nursed around the clock. Being born at 10 lbs, it was some time before my milk supply caught up with his need so I found myself nursing sometimes as much as every 45min!! It was not practical or even possible for me to stay at home with him the first 6 months I was determined to nurse, and I often found myself feeding him in public. My rational was... I wouldn't ask anyone to eat their meal in a public bathroom, so don't ask my baby to. I wouldn't force anyone to eat in the winter or hot summer in their car, so please don't ask my baby to. I always tried to nurse discreetly, I sure didn't want to attract attention or have people see my body, but in the summer I was forced to give up the privacy blanket. It took only one time of removing that blanket and finding my child covered in sweat and gasping to learn to do without it.
I'm rather blathering on now, but the point is that nursing is not always an easy thing, but try to put yourself in that mothers shoes. It may appear that she is just recklessly whipping it out, but it is not always easy to be discreet (blankets fall, takes longer for them to latch on, they let go) so sometimes it is more practical to do what needs to done instead of making a big production out of it.
09/06/2010
Contributor: Naughty Student Naughty Student
I had a friend who would breast feed without a blanket or anything. I sort of felt uncomfortable at first but she felt totally at ease that I could see everything so I eventually didn't really care.

I feel more comfortable when people use a blanket but if there breast is showing I just don't look if it makes me uncomfortable. Anyways, it is a breast, I have two, I know what it boobs look like, its for feeding, and its quite beautiful that women can do this. So why should I care.

I think the reason I sometiems feel uncomfortable with it is bcs it is socially unacceptable to show your breasts in public. I was programmed to see it is wrong and so were a lot of people. But I don't see it as wrong, I see it the way I want to see it and not the way I way stold to see it.
09/06/2010
Contributor: SexyySarah SexyySarah
Well I'm breastfeeding currently, though it's only at nap time and bedtime so it's not in public. But it doesn't bother me one bit if I breastfeed in public or if anyone else does. Though I do think each should cover up appropriately.
09/06/2010
Contributor: Jenn (aka kissmykitty) Jenn (aka kissmykitty)
(EdenFantasys)
Quote:
Originally posted by Pleasure Piratess
Growing up I never knew anyone who breastfed and I couldn't imagine such a thing. When I started nursing school we were taught how much better human milk is for human babies (aside from all the above info... did you know that a mothers milk ... more
You're not blathering at all. I think it's great that you became so enthusiastic about breastfeeding, which previously was a fairly foreign concept.

Re: blanket -- would you (this is a generalized "you", not *you* in particular!) like to eat a meal under a hot, stuffy blanket? No, I didn't think so, so please don't ask babies to! Besides, in my experience, using a blanket drew more attention to the fact that I was breastfeeding, especially when my daughter and son would fight it. I learned to wear a cami underneath my regular top, so I could pull my top up and cami down to expose just enough breast for latching. In a lot of ways it was much more discreet than if I tried to use a blanket!
09/07/2010
Contributor: Hot'n'Bothered Hot'n'Bothered
It doesn't bother me. Just cover up!

Two of my kids couldn't tolerate formula. (Unless I was in the mood for projectile spit up!) and refused a bottle...so there were times I had no choice but to NIP...
09/07/2010
Contributor: verbalized verbalized
I think it's fine, it's natural.
09/07/2010
Contributor: new southern girl new southern girl
Quote:
Originally posted by Blinker
Recently in the news in some random Midwest McDonald's, a woman who was breastfeeding was asked to leave. The lady doth protest too much and proceeded to find other breastfeeding mothers and have a...tit-in? They all gathered at Mickey D's ... more
I chose other because it all depends on how the woman is doing it. If they are breastfeeding but still covering themselves then I do not really have a problem. Now if the woman is not covered and there is too much showing then I think it is uncalled for. I have children and never found myself in a situation that I needed to whip it out! It's called a breast pump for a reason! That is what I always did. Plus if there are a lot of kids around then I really think that a bottle should be used.
09/07/2010
Contributor: new southern girl new southern girl
Quote:
Originally posted by Blinker
When the mothers try to cover the baby and their booby, I appreciate that and applaud their discretion, but I have seen some mothers just take their whole boob out, flop it out and let the baby on it. That is too much for me!
That is the way I feel and I have children that breastfed!
09/07/2010
Contributor: Pleasure Piratess Pleasure Piratess
You know, and this could be a local issue too, but I have NEVER seen a powder room/nursing room.... anywhere. But I would have loved one had they been available.
09/07/2010
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by new southern girl
I chose other because it all depends on how the woman is doing it. If they are breastfeeding but still covering themselves then I do not really have a problem. Now if the woman is not covered and there is too much showing then I think it is uncalled ... more
A lot of babies simply cannot take a bottle due to either nipple confusion or even breathing problems. Also, not all women want to, or can use a pump.

Why would "lots of kids around" make you think a bottle should be used? IMO, children SHOULD be exposed to breastfeeding, so they don't have negative associations to it later. Children can be the most easy to educate people, and I would NEVER give a bottle "just because" there were kids around. But, then, I'm a Lactation Consultant, and I failed at any attempt to bottle feed in any way. Human milk in a bottle included. After my first baby almost stopped nursing due to Nipple Confusion, I NEVER had a single bottle in my house, EVER, for any of my other kids. I would never use a bottle "in public" for any reason.My kids simply couldn't bottle feed.

I'm an LC, and have never actually seen this mythological "whipping it out" of breasts. Not even at La Leche League meetings. I wonder where people get the idea that women do this? Because I KNOW when women are nursing, I've helped over 10,000 women breastfeed their babies and in more than 20 years, I have YET to see someone "whip it out" in public.

Most women are pretty good at discretion, and even if they weren't the baby's need to eat TRUMPS anybody's feelings of "discomfort." The old adage still stands, if you don't want to see it, turn your head. There are plenty of other things to look at.
.
09/07/2010
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Pleasure Piratess
You know, and this could be a local issue too, but I have NEVER seen a powder room/nursing room.... anywhere. But I would have loved one had they been available.
I've seen a few, usually in museum etc. Of course, they then take the mother away from the Social Setting and usually then discourage anybody who wants to stay with their friends and family during an outing or a meal. I don't WANT to go into a separate room to breastfeed my kids, I want to be where everyone else is.

Also, the more people are exposed to breastfeeding, the less likely people are to have "Offensive" attitudes towards it, and more likely to consider it "common and ordinary" behavior. I saw it as my duty to breastfeed in public, if for no other reason than to NORMALIZE it for everyone.
09/07/2010
Contributor: Illusional Illusional
Quote:
Originally posted by Carrie Ann
I realize everyone has a right to their opinion.

We encourage opinions in the forum.

But you guys are coming perilously close to being insulting, offensive, discriminatory and disrespectful.

Hillbilly titties are ugly? Southern ... more
Thank you, this conversation was getting a bit angered.

I think women have every right to breastfeed in public. Just because you have a baby doesn't mean she can just stop everything and sit inside. She still has errands. Yes, I do believe you can do it tastefully. My sister has a breastfeeding wrap, where it swaddles the baby and she puts a blanket over the baby's head.
09/07/2010
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Illusional
Thank you, this conversation was getting a bit angered.

I think women have every right to breastfeed in public. Just because you have a baby doesn't mean she can just stop everything and sit inside. She still has errands. Yes, I do believe ... more
I certainly didn't call anybody names, but this gets subject close to my heart. Not only is it what I do for a living (well, kind of, business is awful lately) helping women breastfeed, but I adored nursing all my children.

I tend to get really defensive about protecting women and their babies when people get mean or flip about this subject. It means so much to so many people, babies included.
09/07/2010