The New Intimacy

How do you feel about the term "Cisgender?"

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Contributor: Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by smlove
I started looking at it in terms of biology and what you present as. If you have XY chromosomes, but are a girl, then you're an XY girl. I'm an XX woman, and my wife is an XY woman. We are the same gender, but not the same sex; if that makes ... more
"Just ask each person what their preference is if you're not sure."

I feel this particular missive only serves to create problems. Most people are taught that it is quite impolite to ask someone what their orientation is, let alone how they identify in this crazy mixed-up world we live in today.

Expecting cisgender or "normative" folks to go "hey, so I noticed you're a little bit different, which pronouns do you prefer?" puts the onus of responsibility on the wrong party.

If a trans person prefers different pronouns, then they should be the one to open the conversation. It's their preference, not the preference of a cisgender person that matters so why does the responsibility fall on the cisgender party?
10/30/2012
Contributor: charletnarouh charletnarouh
Quote:
Originally posted by smlove
I started looking at it in terms of biology and what you present as. If you have XY chromosomes, but are a girl, then you're an XY girl. I'm an XX woman, and my wife is an XY woman. We are the same gender, but not the same sex; if that makes ... more
This is a better way of thinking about it IMO. Still not quite perfect, as you acknowledge but thinking about it as the chromosomal arrangement + the gender identity makes a LOT of sense to me. Of course, the genital anatomy will make a difference to some people, hence, it's not totally perfect, but on the right track, I think.
10/30/2012
Contributor: hanjonatan hanjonatan
it's a necessary term, in the same way that the word "heterosexual" is necessary because otherwise we're talking about "gay people and NORMAL people".

i really don't understand and have little sympathy for people who are offended at the existence of a term coined to identify the majority in a way that doesn't further marginalise and "other" the minority.
11/01/2012
Contributor: Leda Leda
Quote:
Originally posted by weeee
'you are cis, blah blah blah.' statements that begin like this are rude. you are generalising a whole part of society, the same way someone else might say 'you are trans*, blah blah blah' or 'you are black/gay/tall/thin/fa ... more
what does the Cis stand for what is the true definition?
all I am reading is personal interpretation of the word, where did it come from?

What ever happened to just asking a person their preferred pronoun ?

Respect others as you want them to respect you, don't assume anything love humans for bein alive (aside from people who have a zombie fetish sorry you are on your own)
11/12/2012
Contributor: hanjonatan hanjonatan
Quote:
Originally posted by Leda
what does the Cis stand for what is the true definition?
all I am reading is personal interpretation of the word, where did it come from?

What ever happened to just asking a person their preferred pronoun ?

Respect others as you want ... more
the "true" definition of cis is "on the same side". it's a latin prefix that is literally the opposite of "trans".

so it just means "not trans", it's quite simple.
11/12/2012
Contributor: Schattenstern Schattenstern
Not to be an asshole, but really, how do you think I feel when people talk about trans* folk? It's something that society has decided is okay to use terms for, and I can't avoid it so why should cisgender people be any different? Because you're the majority doesn't mean you don't get labels.
11/12/2012
Contributor: TheParrishism TheParrishism
Cis in definition has no negative connotation. I am sorry that people have used it in such a way, but the fact of the matter is that we have no other language to refer to someone who isn't trans that isn't demeaning to trans people.
11/13/2012
Contributor: El-Jaro El-Jaro
Quote:
Originally posted by TheParrishism
Cis in definition has no negative connotation. I am sorry that people have used it in such a way, but the fact of the matter is that we have no other language to refer to someone who isn't trans that isn't demeaning to trans people.
what about "not trans"?
11/13/2012
Contributor: hanjonatan hanjonatan
Quote:
Originally posted by El-Jaro
what about "not trans"?
same reason why it's useful to have the word "heterosexual" instead of just saying "not gay". not having a word for the majority further marginalises the minority - by not having a word for it you're effectively saying that they're just "normal".
11/13/2012
Contributor: Xarien Xarien
Quote:
Originally posted by hanjonatan
same reason why it's useful to have the word "heterosexual" instead of just saying "not gay". not having a word for the majority further marginalises the minority - by not having a word for it you're effectively saying that they're just "normal".
nor·mal [nawr-muhl]
adjective
1.
conforming to the standard or the common type; usual; not abnormal; regular; natural.

By the strictest definition of the word "normal", straight and "cis" people are in fact normal.

When you have a society where the -vast- majority act or feel a certain way, that becomes normal behavior for that society. That's not to say that anything deviating from the norm is a bad thing, but in the same way that you claim "cis" has to be defined, I think a sense of normality is equally important to define.
11/14/2012
Contributor: hanjonatan hanjonatan
Quote:
Originally posted by Xarien
nor·mal [nawr-muhl]
adjective
1.
conforming to the standard or the common type; usual; not abnormal; regular; natural.

By the strictest definition of the word "normal", straight and "cis" people are in ... more
yes, thank you, i am aware of the dictionary definition of the word "normal". that doesn't change what i said.

and what exactly do you mean by it being "equally important to define" a "sense of normality"? can you give me an example of how this is important, in your view?

all i'm saying is it's useful to have a term meaning the opposite of something that's already been defined; "normal" can mean a lot of things in a lot of different contexts, whereas "cis", like "trans", refers to a specific thing, ditto "hetero" and "homosexual".
11/14/2012