The answers were a little tough to choose from. Part of the issue is, virginity is lost when another person penetrates you. It doesn't matter what this is with - though with a guy it will probably be his penis Anyway, I want to say if it's the shape of a penis, it's losing your virginity, but at the same time it's kind of situational.

I always tell people I lost mine. To ny first gf. It wasn't with a dildo but her fingers and for me that was the perfect way to.

I think its all in the way that particular person looks at it. I look at it as there are different kinds of firsts and they all have meaning. MY personal virginity was taken from me, and I dont count it. I consider my viriginty to have been lost to the 1st person I "chose" to have sex with. But then I also have my 1st sex with a girl, and my 1st time with a strap-on for me they are all seperate events. If she want you to, that would have been her decision and least you care about her and will be able to do it right.

Penetration is not the only consideration of virginity.
I have never been with a man, but do not consider myself a virgin.
Losing your virginity is giving yourself to another person sexually.

i wish that instead of calling it "losing your virginity," everyone refer to it as your "sexual debut". What most people think of as virginity is heterosexist, patriarchal bullshit.

In my opinion any act that involves the genitals of one or more partners in a pleasurable and mutually consensual way is sex and results in the loss of virginity. I know plenty of people with even more stringent definitions. There are, however, many, many 'firsts' to be had in a person's sexual life. There are acts that people in their 30's, 40's, 50's and older will perform for the first time. Then there are acts they may never perform. I don't believe you're talking about loosing her virginity but her first intercourse. Whether you penetrate her with a dildo in or out of a harness is really irrelevant as, since she identifies as straight, she will probably want to eventually have intercourse with a man which will be a different first, which may be a more profound or less profound experience than one she might have with you. This all depends on her. You having intercourse with her with a toy will be sex in every sense of the word, as I believe you've already had sex with this woman, but it will also not negate the gravity of her first intercourse with a man, any more than having sex with a man first would negate the gravity of her later having toy-assisted intercourse with you or another woman. Personally, I find penetration with fingers to be a far, far more intimate, deep and emotionally profound experience than anything that can be done with a toy. Fisting is even more so. For me, the first time I put my fingers inside another woman was a much more intense "first" than any experience preceding it. The first time another woman did the same to me runs a close second.

This one is a little hard to answer, but I think if it's meant to be a penis and is an actual sexual act, then it's a loss of virginity. I don't personally see using a tampon or toy or even a cucumber as losing one's virginity though.

I believe it's the meaning.

If you were a virgin and used sex toys, penetrative ones, you're still a virgin. Or if you use tampons, you still are.

If you are in a relationship and decide to be penetrated by either a man or a woman who will be doing the giving part, I believe that counts. It's an allowance, the same kind.

But I have gay and bi friend who say they have a "gay virginity" and a "straight virginity" and they separate them.

It's not one's business but the person themselves, and how they perceive it. Good luck.

I'm not a huge fan of the concept of virginity, but I would measure from first sexual contact because of the emotional part of it.

I think the vast majority of people measure from first sexual penetration, but I could be wrong.

I'm actually on the other side of this. Technically, my cherry was popped when I was 15 by a chick with a strap on. I bled even though it didn't technically do in all the way. So I've always wondered if it counts. I never know which one to say honestly.

I guess it just depends on the situation and what that individual person believes in taking their virginity.

I'm honestly not sure, I guess this is kind of a grey area you can defend from either standpoint. I'd take advantage of it and try to go with whatever makes her feel comfortable.

I think it's different for everyone. It's whenever you feel like you lost your virginity.

I considered my virginity lost when I received oral from my girlfriend - Oral is SO intimate, sometimes more than penetration sex. You don't need penetration to lose your virginity.

I think virginity is a silly and outdated concept. In reality what there is is varying levels of sexual experience.

if virginity is defined as only PIV then how to lesbians loose their virginity? I think think it is totally up to HER to decide how she defines her virginity and what classifies loosing it.

She's already not a virgin if she's had sex with you.

I hate the term virginity.

Virginity is a social construct - only has meaning if you give it meaning.

not sure

definitely counts

I've never been penetrated by a penis, but by no means consider myself a virgin. I consider losing your virginity when you get about as intimate as you can with the body parts in question. I believe I lost mine the first time I engaged in completely naked oral sex with my ex girlfriend.

i dont think anything penetrating is a way to say ones virginity is lost..meaning i don't think the hymen being broke means your not a virgin a toy is penis like but i dont think using a toy as a virgin would or should be considered losing your virginity if that is how it is then just about everyone takes their own virginity therefore discussion over but i think it has to do with emotions and the intent i didnt have vaginal intercourse until a year after i was with my boyfriend and i lost my virginity to him in every sense of it(other than that stupid hymen shit) he is the only man i have done anything with of any sort but all in all i believe its really ones one feeling because as others have stated everyone has a different opinion on what a "virgin" truly is

I think a person loses their virginity when they do something they'd define as sex with another person, regardless of whether or not penetration is involved. However, I am not a big fan of the concept of virginity overall.

Sex happens when there are two or more people together trying to achieve orgasm. Period. There do not have to be dicks, real or purchased, involved in order for virginity to be lost.

If you've already had sexual experiences with her, guess what? SHE'S NOT A VIRGIN.

Oral SEX is still SEX. C'mon. Don't be so heteronormative about it.