The New Intimacy

How long have you ABSTAINED from SEX?

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Contributor: PassionateLover2 PassionateLover2
I have read so much in various Discussions and Polls here in the community about how we love sex! It is like we can’t get enough of it or we are engaged in it almost daily! I would like to reverse the question and ask, how long have you abstained from SEX and MASTURBATION? It seems to me that after a period of abstinence (including self-masturbation), that the sex is even more intense and erotic.

There was a movie call "40 Days and 40 Nights" (2002) about a San Francisco dot-com web designer Matt Sullivan (Josh Hartnett) who vowed to abstain from sexual activity and contact (including self-gratification) for 40 days and nights for Lent. As his friend said, "The male was biologically designed to spread his seed, Matt. You're gonna piss off the seeds, man! You're gonna... It goes against science! You wanna be the guy who goes against science?"

When he became involved with dream girl Erica Sutton (Shannyn Sossamon), whom he had met in a laundromat, he had to find other means to avoid violating his vow by, blowing white flower petals across Erica's naked body (down her stomach and then across her panties) as she was lying on her back - it caused her to writhe with pleasure and experience an "immaculate" orgasm without being touched. In other scenes during his abstinence period, he imagined various women semi-nude (on a bus and in a street scene), as he became more and more obsessed about sex ("I'm seeing things! I swear to God, everywhere I look I'm seeing tits and ass")!

With this illustration in mind, I would like to ask again, what has been YOUR personal experience as to the length of ‘time’ in which you have abstained from SEX (including masturbation) and what your experience was like when reengaging again in sexual activity? Let us all honor that person who had the perseverance to hold out the longest!!!
Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):
I an a Male
Yossarian , MrWishyWashy , El-Jaro , slynch , markwashere , Pi , Mr.RightNow , sjclayton2912 , gatewoodr , GONE! , treefrog88 , Ly-Ra , mmmmm , rom323 , Falsepast , goo , Trysexual , BlooJay , crazycouple7281 , AHubbyof2SexualMinds , doop , MrWood , dv8 , sigian
24
I an a Female
toxie m , Jake'n'bake , Cherry21 , Coralbell , Chilipepper , spiceboy , jessi2 , Anjulie , Ghost , Daemonin , prttynink , DeliciousSurprise , mpfm , GonetoLovehoney , SilverIsis , Lucidity , padmeamidala , MeliPixie , SexyStuff , Apirka , lacybutton , curious kitten , Beck , misskat , mistressg , SubmissiveFeminist , Missmarc , Mistress Sassy , blondie , SadoMas , LavenderSkies , Kitka , Love Obsessed , pinkpetals , *Camoprincess* , quackbuster , breebree , Mwar , Amber1w , freud13 , potstickers , funluvinmama , sexykiss , unfulfilled , P'Gell , MissCandyland , Anne , Leather & Lace , Clara , Noelle , Augustxsins , Harpina is gone , caseyb , collifornia , Megan McClure , MaeGal , SMichelle , Vaginas , cburger , ginainohio , SneakersAndPearls , angel42539 , VanillaFreeSex , llellsee , ginnyluvspotter , null , SydVicious , edeneve , LunaLuthor , jr2012 , Ivanna , Supervixen , MidnightStorm , SaraW0512 , Pink Lily , Robespierrethecat , shielaray , ChubbyNerd , SecretKinksters , karenm , Geogeo , evie.amor , TJtheMadHatter , K101 , Silverwinds , Phoenyz , Hentialover , Katelyn , Isola , Nezzie13
90
One day or less
gatewoodr , Mylo
2
Two days
GonetoLovehoney , Beck , Mr.RightNow , TJtheMadHatter
4
Three days
El-Jaro , GonetoLovehoney , markwashere
3
Four days
sexykiss , ginainohio , ChubbyNerd
3
Five days
Hentialover
1
Six days
Trysexual
1
One Week
jessi2 , Daemonin , rom323 , quackbuster , P'Gell , BlooJay , Supervixen , Pink Lily , SecretKinksters , dv8 , Silverwinds
11
Week and a half
Gracie , Augustxsins
2
Two Weeks
PassionateLover2 , Missmarc , pinkpetals , misskittymeowxxx , freud13 , ginnyluvspotter , SaraW0512 , MrWood , sigian
9
Two and a half weeks
K101
1
Three Weeks
treefrog88 , Anne , Clara , MaeGal , SneakersAndPearls
5
Other (please share)
toxie m , Jake'n'bake , Cherry21 , Yossarian , Coralbell , Chilipepper , spiceboy , Anjulie , Ghost , PeaceToTheMiddleEast , prttynink , slynch , DeliciousSurprise , mpfm , SilverIsis , Lucidity , padmeamidala , MeliPixie , SexyStuff , Apirka , lacybutton , curious kitten , Pi , misskat , mistressg , sjclayton2912 , SubmissiveFeminist , GONE! , Mistress Sassy , blondie , LavenderSkies , Ly-Ra , Kitka , mmmmm , Love Obsessed , *Camoprincess* , breebree , Falsepast , Mwar , Amber1w , funluvinmama , PropertyOfPotter , unfulfilled , MissCandyland , Kittybit , LadyDarknezz , Leather & Lace , goo , Noelle , Harpina is gone , caseyb , collifornia , Megan McClure , crazycouple7281 , wet mama , SMichelle , Vaginas , cburger , MJ7 , AHubbyof2SexualMinds , doop , VanillaFreeSex , llellsee , null , SydVicious , Thumper Logic , edeneve , LunaLuthor , KinkyNicki92 , jr2012 , Ivanna , MidnightStorm , Robespierrethecat , shielaray , karenm , Geogeo , evie.amor , TJtheMadHatter , Phoenyz , Katelyn , Isola , Nezzie13
82
Total votes: 238 (126 voters)
Poll is closed
01/04/2012
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Contributor: toxie m toxie m
I went without partnered intercourse for about 9 months when I was single. I just wasn't interested in casual things. I did masturbate during that time, so it wasn't a complete abstaining for your criteria. I didn't masturbate all that much, though, maybe once every month or two. Honestly, I can't really remember. It was just sort of a less sexual time of my life. The first three months or so were rough, but then I kind of got used to it.
01/04/2012
Contributor: PassionateLover2 PassionateLover2
I forgot to add and suggest, it is possible that a broken bone from a ski accident or having surgery will be moments of procrastinated pleasures of the flesh! This can be a likely period of time of abstinence!
01/04/2012
Contributor: Jake'n'bake Jake'n'bake
About a month. And a sucky month it was; stupid IUD! If I'd had my way I wouldn't have waited at all but I was in a ton of pain, so no bonkin'. ):
01/04/2012
Contributor: Cherry21 Cherry21
Quote:
Originally posted by PassionateLover2
I have read so much in various Discussions and Polls here in the community about how we love sex! It is like we can’t get enough of it or we are engaged in it almost daily! I would like to reverse the question and ask, how long have you abstained ... more
I've never ABSTAINED really, but we've gone about 2 weeks without having sex before (he was away for work )
01/04/2012
Contributor: Yossarian Yossarian
My wife has a fair number of nagging (but fortunately not too serious) health problems which sometimes cause us to go three or four months without any sexual contact with each other. I've gone as long as six weeks without masturbating during these stretches. I have no idea why and don't intend to go that long again.
01/04/2012
Contributor: ~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
The longest I purposefully abstained was a month. That was due to a break up. The longest otherwise was two months and that was between my first boyfriend and my second partner. I was like 17.
01/04/2012
Contributor: Coralbell Coralbell
Well, I never masturbated til I was about 18, and RARELY did it between then and 20, so I have gone several months (maybe 6?) Since I started having sex with a partner, the longest I have gone without is one month.
01/04/2012
Contributor: Chilipepper Chilipepper
*points to poll choices* Three weeks? Christ, that's nothing.

I had gone YEARS. During marriage, no less.

When the husband believes sex is nothing more than a genital sneeze, you're stressed with being the only earner, on anti-depressants so you don't kill yourself, and there's nothing sexy in your life ... yes, it happens.

Needless to say, my FWB after I booted my husband out was walking funny for three days after the first time.
01/04/2012
Contributor: spiceboy spiceboy
Surely I've gone months without masturbating. I usually get down to it at least a few times a week, sometimes every day, but there are times when it isn't on my mind; I simply don't consider it or miss it. Those periods are never so significant that I'd remember how much time has passed because it's not something that adheres to a schedule. I've been masturbating regularly since I was in 3rd or 4th grade (nearly every day through middle school). It's just something that happens or doesn't.

No period of "abstinence" has ever been impactful for me and has never changed my perspective on sex. These poll choices are pretty ridiculous too. As though three weeks is a realistic max!
01/04/2012
Contributor: jessi2 jessi2
When my partner is out of town, I don't masturbate, so that when she gets home, I am rearing to go!
01/04/2012
Contributor: Anjulie Anjulie
I went a year before
01/04/2012
Contributor: MrWishyWashy MrWishyWashy
If I hit a dry spell from not having sex, I still need to masturbate. BUT, I have gone for maybe a week or more without self pleasuring. I have found that for a male, and obviously the semen build-up is unbearable at that time, it is so intense and I feel like a porn star when I cum, I need more! It feels too good to not have sex or masturbate
01/04/2012
Contributor: El-Jaro El-Jaro
Intentionally?

Why?!?!

I can understand stress or something, but I've never intentionally NOT done anything.
01/05/2012
Contributor: PeaceToTheMiddleEast PeaceToTheMiddleEast
Its been 3 years and counting since I have been with someone. As for on my own when I am in the mood I will.
01/05/2012
Contributor: prttynink prttynink
I'm in a long term relationship and usually go 2 weeks to a month without having sex. The sex is fabulous, but I'm not sure if it's the going without, or if it's just great of its own accord... Longest dry spell has probably been 3 months, but that's not including masturbation.
01/07/2012
Contributor: GonetoLovehoney GonetoLovehoney
I've only intentionally stopped masturbating for a few days.... to heal up. XD
Unintentionally: The week after I get my depo shot is a 50/50 chance that I won't have a libido at all, the other half is a rather lessened one.

As for sex, longest time I've gone without was almost a year. I was freaking humping anything that looked phallic at the time (I didn't own sex toys a couple years ago) and buffed up my right arm.

Nowadays, it's only a month long wait at the most. That's if I don't have a friend with benefits on hand and I have to wait for my boyfriend to get some time off work and come down here.
01/07/2012
Contributor: SilverIsis SilverIsis
My longest was 10 years. I was in a period of feeling that I was not getting the guys that I wanted to date and figured that I needed to improve myself in order to get what I wanted. I also did not masturbate during this time since I did not see the value in it as the performance element of sex is what really gets me off. Clearly my opinion has changed since then and in retrospect I probably should have be doing so during that time since the first encounter I had after that dry spell was painful due to being as tight as I was before I lost my virginity.
01/07/2012
Contributor: Chilipepper Chilipepper
Quote:
Originally posted by SilverIsis
My longest was 10 years. I was in a period of feeling that I was not getting the guys that I wanted to date and figured that I needed to improve myself in order to get what I wanted. I also did not masturbate during this time since I did not see the ... more
Ohhhh, yes. The tightness and pain from eternal non-use to sudden use. I bled so badly after that first time. It was worse than when I lost my virginity (ironically to the same guy). :-/
01/07/2012
Contributor: Lucidity Lucidity
Three years
01/08/2012
Contributor: padmeamidala padmeamidala
Quote:
Originally posted by PassionateLover2
I have read so much in various Discussions and Polls here in the community about how we love sex! It is like we can’t get enough of it or we are engaged in it almost daily! I would like to reverse the question and ask, how long have you abstained ... more
I had to go without sex for a few months in both of my pregnancies due to complications.
01/08/2012
Contributor: MeliPixie MeliPixie
I was a virgin until November of my 21st year, and have had the same boyfriend since then. We don't abstain from sexual activity... ever.
01/08/2012
Contributor: PassionateLover2 PassionateLover2
Quote:
Originally posted by El-Jaro
Intentionally?

Why?!?!

I can understand stress or something, but I've never intentionally NOT done anything.
Just like the movie! A test of your willpower!
01/08/2012
Contributor: PassionateLover2 PassionateLover2
I think the longest absence from any kind of sexual activity (including masturbation) was during a hiking trip I took along the Pacific Crest Trail in the Cascade Mountains of Washington state. I started my journey from Stephens Pass down to Snoqualmie Pass near I-90. It was about a 12 day hike in beautiful country of the Alpine Lakes Wilderness. I was so tired every night; I had no time to engage in such activities. Besides, I always worried about jacking off right when a bear strolled into camp! As the days passed you get really dirty and stinky, and therefore, adding nothing to the mood!
01/08/2012
Contributor: SexyStuff SexyStuff
Hm, 6 weeks for medical reasons. Pelvic rest after pregnancy.
01/08/2012
Contributor: Apirka Apirka
I've gone for a couple years without actual sex with another person because I was single and not really looking for anyone.
03/25/2012
Contributor: curious kitten curious kitten
not often, but a couple of times, 1 to 2 years.
03/25/2012
Contributor: Pi Pi
After my first gf I abstained for almost a year. It was another couple of years before with another person but during those second and third year I was masturbating. Since then maybe a few weeks at most.
03/27/2012
Contributor: misskat misskat
I didn't have sex for about 3 months when my partner had to move overseas. But I was definitely masturbating a lot during that time!
03/29/2012
Contributor: sjclayton2912 sjclayton2912
I have gone before where I haven't had sex for 6 months + , but I have definitely masturbated in that time period.
04/12/2012