The New Intimacy

Naked Reader Book Club Discussion: She's On TOp (May 10, 8-10 PM EST)

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Contributor: Sacchi Sacchi
Quote:
Originally posted by Antipova
Gmail has an emergency "undo sending message" feature that I've used a time or two (attachments that I forgot to send, and the like), but it's only good for 90 seconds or so.

They also have an optional feature that makes you ... more
I didn't know that! Must check. I use gmail. Forgetting to attach things I've just said I was attaching is, well, not that unusual for me.
05/10/2011
Contributor: Kristina Wright Kristina Wright
Quote:
Originally posted by Emma (Girl With Fire)
Yes, exactly.


I think women are dominant in far more areas of our lives than we let on. I think this is in part why many women like to be topped because they have to have quiet control in so many ways, many times in order to elicit a ... more
That's really interesting-- and goes to demonstrate that topping is more than bondage and whips-- it's mostly mental.
05/10/2011
Contributor: Antipova Antipova
Quote:
Originally posted by Sacchi
How often do you find yourself describing the sex you're having in your head, as though you were writing it?

Personally, I'm not telling.
This has never happened to me.

(See? Even that's in the passive voice. Not "I have never done this," but "this has never happened." Maybe I should look at that, too, while I try to stay more present.)
05/10/2011
Contributor: LambChop LambChop
Sorry I'm late, but I can't really stay! I'll be back for HE'S on top, though!
05/10/2011
Contributor: Antipova Antipova
Quote:
Originally posted by Emma (Girl With Fire)
Yes, exactly.


I think women are dominant in far more areas of our lives than we let on. I think this is in part why many women like to be topped because they have to have quiet control in so many ways, many times in order to elicit a ... more
I definitely feel you here, Girl With Fire. As a woman, and even a very passive one, I still feel that I have complete control over what goes on in my life, and I can feel my influence on others. Though I'm quiet and don't ask for much, I still feel powerful.
05/10/2011
Contributor: BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Just thought I'd sit in on the end of this.... Trying to find a nice distraction. Erotica sounds like a GREAT distraction.
05/10/2011
Contributor: LicentiouslyYours LicentiouslyYours
Quote:
Originally posted by Kristina Wright
That's very interesting. In my introduction to this discussion I threw out the question about the popularity of fiction featuring dominant women-- is it a feminist response? A response to a world still mostly controlled by men? Something else?
I think it certainly can be and I bet many write those stories as an expression feminism, the desire to illustrate that women are capable of being in charge.

I know a few people in the kink world who very adamantly believe a woman's place is on the bottom — that dominant women are somehow not being their authentic selves and can't be truly content on top.

I find this to be a load of crap, but you know, they refuse to respond to my attempts at brainwashing.
05/10/2011
Contributor: Kristina Wright Kristina Wright
Quote:
Originally posted by Sacchi
How often do you find yourself describing the sex you're having in your head, as though you were writing it?

Personally, I'm not telling.
Honestly... I don't think I mentally describe it until afterward. Although I do sometimes visualize it like I'm watching a movie.
05/10/2011
Contributor: Antipova Antipova
I'm going to have to bow out, thanks for the discussion everyone!
05/10/2011
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by Kristina Wright
Yay! We should start a club. Another club, I mean...
Funny that you mention that, I'm definitely the person to email about starting a club
05/10/2011
Contributor: BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Quote:
Originally posted by Sacchi
How often do you find yourself describing the sex you're having in your head, as though you were writing it?

Personally, I'm not telling.
Rarely, but then... when I write erotica I don't write from personal experiences. Rather from fantasies.
05/10/2011
Contributor: removedacnt removedacnt
Quote:
Originally posted by Antipova
I'm going to have to bow out, thanks for the discussion everyone!
Thanks for joining us!
05/10/2011
Contributor: removedacnt removedacnt
Quote:
Originally posted by BBW Talks Toys
Rarely, but then... when I write erotica I don't write from personal experiences. Rather from fantasies.
I do a little of both. Just depends on how hot the reality is.
05/10/2011
Contributor: Emma (Girl With Fire) Emma (Girl With Fire)
Quote:
Originally posted by BBW Talks Toys
Just thought I'd sit in on the end of this.... Trying to find a nice distraction. Erotica sounds like a GREAT distraction.
You totally need to join this club, you would LOVE it. I know you would.
05/10/2011
Contributor: BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Quote:
Originally posted by Emma (Girl With Fire)
You totally need to join this club, you would LOVE it. I know you would.
Maybe I'll sit in more often and then decide....
05/10/2011
Contributor: Emma (Girl With Fire) Emma (Girl With Fire)
Quote:
Originally posted by LicentiouslyYours
I think it certainly can be and I bet many write those stories as an expression feminism, the desire to illustrate that women are capable of being in charge.

I know a few people in the kink world who very adamantly believe a woman's place ... more
I don't understand that at all. It is ignorant to make the assumption that a woman can not have the same thoughts and urges simply because she has breasts and a vagina.
05/10/2011
Contributor: LicentiouslyYours LicentiouslyYours
Quote:
Originally posted by Emma (Girl With Fire)
I was just reading about pro sex feminism the other day, and the contrast between traditional feminism and pro sex feminism. Very interesting stuff. Although I have to say, I don't think segregation within a cause is a positive move.
I think if you study the subject extensively you'll find that feminists have, for some time now, been not of a collective mind about many things.

When I was coming of age, the dominant feminist theories were taking a very anti-male, anti-sex and anti-victimization line. Now, I think this has resulted in a very positive change in how society as a whole views rape and victims (but I know there are people who would strongly disagree, who feel we are still wrapped up in a thoroughly rapist-friendly society)but it's also helped promote some very negative attitudes toward men and sex as well.

But back to my point, the reason that segregation within a cause isn't such a bad thing is because it's inevitable in any cause that grows to a certain size. It's a symptom of a wider acceptance of feminism in general and that IS a positive move.
05/10/2011
Contributor: Kristina Wright Kristina Wright
Quote:
Originally posted by Jul!a
Funny that you mention that, I'm definitely the person to email about starting a club
Lol... I'll text you.
05/10/2011
Contributor: Kristina Wright Kristina Wright
Quote:
Originally posted by LicentiouslyYours
I think it certainly can be and I bet many write those stories as an expression feminism, the desire to illustrate that women are capable of being in charge.

I know a few people in the kink world who very adamantly believe a woman's place ... more
Oh wow... isn't it funny how you can find narrow minded people in some of the most open minded communities?
05/10/2011
Contributor: removedacnt removedacnt
So Kristina, before we end, what was your story about? And was it a fantasy, or something that really happened?
05/10/2011
Contributor: Emma (Girl With Fire) Emma (Girl With Fire)
Quote:
Originally posted by LicentiouslyYours
I think if you study the subject extensively you'll find that feminists have, for some time now, been not of a collective mind about many things.

When I was coming of age, the dominant feminist theories were taking a very anti-male, ... more
"It's a symptom of a wider acceptance of feminism in general and that IS a positive move."



Well I cannot disagree with that.
05/10/2011
Contributor: Kristina Wright Kristina Wright
Quote:
Originally posted by removedacnt
So Kristina, before we end, what was your story about? And was it a fantasy, or something that really happened?
Oh, I mentioned it earlier... it's called "The Mistress Meets Her Match" and is a very fictional story about a dominatrix who falls in love with a client and finds herself playing the submissive role with him-- and loving it. (It's part of the reason she falls for him.)
05/10/2011
Contributor: LicentiouslyYours LicentiouslyYours
Quote:
Originally posted by Sacchi
How often do you find yourself describing the sex you're having in your head, as though you were writing it?

Personally, I'm not telling.
Heh.

Ok, I do this often and I've finally started to put these thoughts into writing, so I can make use of them in stories.
05/10/2011
Contributor: removedacnt removedacnt
Quote:
Originally posted by Kristina Wright
Oh, I mentioned it earlier... it's called "The Mistress Meets Her Match" and is a very fictional story about a dominatrix who falls in love with a client and finds herself playing the submissive role with him-- and loving it. (It's ... more
Oh ok. I remember you mentioning the story, but I don't think I realized that was the one you wrote. Yeah, I would like a story like that.
05/10/2011
Contributor: Kristina Wright Kristina Wright
Quote:
Originally posted by removedacnt
Oh ok. I remember you mentioning the story, but I don't think I realized that was the one you wrote. Yeah, I would like a story like that.
Cool. It was fun to write!
05/10/2011
Contributor: Sacchi Sacchi
Of course when you add the factor of playing a role in order to please someone you love, all the other considerations can go out the window. You can enjoy being a top or a bottom because of the pleasure it gives your partner, and sometimes that's hard to separate from your own preference.
05/10/2011
Contributor: removedacnt removedacnt
Great topic tonight! Even though I didn't read the book, I enjoyed the meeting. Thank you as always Kristina!!!
05/10/2011
Contributor: DeliciousSurprise DeliciousSurprise
it was a great discussion tonight!
05/10/2011
Contributor: Emma (Girl With Fire) Emma (Girl With Fire)
Quote:
Originally posted by removedacnt
Great topic tonight! Even though I didn't read the book, I enjoyed the meeting. Thank you as always Kristina!!!
Agreed. But I will read the book. I am adding it to my list and making a purchase tomorrow so it wont be long
05/10/2011
Contributor: Kristina Wright Kristina Wright
Quote:
Originally posted by removedacnt
Great topic tonight! Even though I didn't read the book, I enjoyed the meeting. Thank you as always Kristina!!!
Thanks for being here, Liz!
05/10/2011