The New Intimacy

#EdenLit - February Meeting 2/13/2012 at 7pm EST

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Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by Destri
I agree, Airen. I loved the evolution of the relationship
You know it never occured to me that it could be read as the evolution of their relationship as well! Good point Destri. That makes the story have another totally diferent layer, if that makes sense? I love work that has many meanings and is so very personal to the reader!
02/13/2012
Contributor: Woman China Woman China
I liked the way Cedar set the pace of the story and went through all the "phases" and feelings that go with them through the story.

But the one part I thought took away from the elegance of the words was the Shift. For me personally, I think seeing the

* * *

Makes it a little nicer looking.
02/13/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
The twist at the end should have pointed to the evolution of the relationship DUH! This is one to read and then re read to catch all the subtlties. VERY good job Cedar!
02/13/2012
Contributor: SmutGeek SmutGeek
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
You can post it to the forum at any time! Tonight's contributions are the ones posted above but we can take a peek before we close the meeting.
link

There we go.
No need to review tonight but if you have any thoughts later feel free to comment ^_^
Its for the Truffles prompt.
02/13/2012
Contributor: Woman China Woman China
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
You know it never occured to me that it could be read as the evolution of their relationship as well! Good point Destri. That makes the story have another totally diferent layer, if that makes sense? I love work that has many meanings and is so very ... more
I agree with you here... when a story can be felt by the reader makes it more thought provoking and feeling provoking (is that even a proper phrase??) for the reader.
02/13/2012
Contributor: SmutGeek SmutGeek
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
The twist at the end should have pointed to the evolution of the relationship DUH! This is one to read and then re read to catch all the subtlties. VERY good job Cedar!
I agree with this. I tried reading it quickly earlier today but the language is subtle and I feel that it deserves a slower re-read.
02/13/2012
Contributor: Destri Destri
The love just came through to me so clearly. Really like this story!
02/13/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Then we move on to a totally different take on the same topic and a different style of writing! What are your thoughts about First Kiss by Yours Truly?
02/13/2012
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
Wow, sounds like I missed one hell of a story!
02/13/2012
Contributor: SmutGeek SmutGeek
Your take on the First kiss made me think of my own first kiss ^_^ The awkward yet excited emotion definitely came through on this. Every Juicey Fruit gummy minute of it haha.
02/13/2012
Contributor: Destri Destri
I like the straight forward style of it. It tells a story in a way I can relate to.
02/13/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by SmutGeek
Your take on the First kiss made me think of my own first kiss ^_^ The awkward yet excited emotion definitely came through on this. Every Juicey Fruit gummy minute of it haha.
LOL that was my intention! How well did you guys feel that Cedar and myself fit the category? Specifically *Use simple but evocative language and be as descriptive as you can be. Avoid easy fixes and rushed language.*
02/13/2012
Contributor: Woman China Woman China
The wide eyed first kiss in the movie theatre!!! I enjoyed the imagery you set, and the way you put in your thoughts of the present with your daughter thinking of Bon Jovie and her dad, to back to the story. To me, that made the story much more personal.

Made me grin and chuckle.

But what got me, was the insecurity of when he left, your thoughts on getting him back. That made me laugh and reminded me that sometimes I am still exactly like a little girl!!!!
02/13/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
I am hoping to move our club into a learning platform where we can help each other improve and either brush up on the basics of story writing or learn for the first time. Give us a challenge and some area to be really creative as well...but more on that later!
02/13/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by Woman China
The wide eyed first kiss in the movie theatre!!! I enjoyed the imagery you set, and the way you put in your thoughts of the present with your daughter thinking of Bon Jovie and her dad, to back to the story. To me, that made the story much more ... more
LOL I hate to admit it sometimes but I was pretty insecure as a teen and this story is actual truth without embellishments. Sigel wanted me to add a few things but I told him that he was special enough as it was...
02/13/2012
Contributor: Destri Destri
Well, I think both were descriptive and gave me a 'feeling' if that makes sense. different emotions but both brought out an emotion in me.
02/13/2012
Contributor: Woman China Woman China
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
LOL that was my intention! How well did you guys feel that Cedar and myself fit the category? Specifically *Use simple but evocative language and be as descriptive as you can be. Avoid easy fixes and rushed language.*
I'd say you both were bang on the money.

Airen- your's was like a journal entry or a letter you would write to yourself for later on in life to remember. Vague, but detailed in other ways.

Cedar- his was more elegant in his choosing of words to evoke thoughts.
02/13/2012
Contributor: PassionateLover2 PassionateLover2
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
LOL I hate to admit it sometimes but I was pretty insecure as a teen and this story is actual truth without embellishments. Sigel wanted me to add a few things but I told him that he was special enough as it was...
I did like it a lot! It did make me think of my first time too! I was shaking and not sure what to expect!!!
02/13/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
This Month our Cooking club is going to make Truffles! mmmmmmmm I know I am excited and looking forward to that meeting. Silverdrop shared with us what she likes to do with truffles and I was left wanting a bath...not to get clean but to get really really dirty! How about you guys?
02/13/2012
Contributor: SmutGeek SmutGeek
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
This Month our Cooking club is going to make Truffles! mmmmmmmm I know I am excited and looking forward to that meeting. Silverdrop shared with us what she likes to do with truffles and I was left wanting a bath...not to get clean but to get really ... more
mmm you have my attention. -giggles-
02/13/2012
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
This Month our Cooking club is going to make Truffles! mmmmmmmm I know I am excited and looking forward to that meeting. Silverdrop shared with us what she likes to do with truffles and I was left wanting a bath...not to get clean but to get really ... more
Ooh, I haven't had a truffle in forever! The last time I had one it melted in my mouth, and I really want one now!
02/13/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by Jul!a
Ooh, I haven't had a truffle in forever! The last time I had one it melted in my mouth, and I really want one now!
LOL You should try it the way Silverdrop does it! Rawr!
02/13/2012
Contributor: SmutGeek SmutGeek
Quote:
Originally posted by Jul!a
Ooh, I haven't had a truffle in forever! The last time I had one it melted in my mouth, and I really want one now!
I got a box of Godiva in the mail today from my parents. It has been highly appreciated ^_^
02/13/2012
Contributor: Woman China Woman China
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
This Month our Cooking club is going to make Truffles! mmmmmmmm I know I am excited and looking forward to that meeting. Silverdrop shared with us what she likes to do with truffles and I was left wanting a bath...not to get clean but to get really ... more
Had me craving a taste of Lindt dark chocolate irresistibly smooth chocoalte. The few times I've seen the red packaging of Lindt at the store (thank god they didn't get any new ones in last week!!!) I've thought of Silverdrops bath fun with chocolates, made me homesick for a bathtub!!!
02/13/2012
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by SmutGeek
I got a box of Godiva in the mail today from my parents. It has been highly appreciated ^_^
I can imagine!
02/13/2012
Contributor: Destri Destri
Well, I never thought of eating a chocolate right as I was hitting an orgasm, so that was cool! Any story that gives me new ideas is good with me!
02/13/2012
Contributor: Woman China Woman China
Quote:
Originally posted by Destri
Well, I never thought of eating a chocolate right as I was hitting an orgasm, so that was cool! Any story that gives me new ideas is good with me!
I second this thought!!!
02/13/2012
Contributor: PassionateLover2 PassionateLover2
Does anyone like Ghirardelli?
02/13/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Ok I just read over the Love at Snow Lake thinking I would find it wasn't quite as good as I remembered it the first time....IT IS!!! WOW
What a sweet, tender, warm and well described story. Welcome to our club Passionatelover2 and PLEASE keep writing!
I love that our guys show such tender devotion to setting their scenes and not just wrecklessly plowing into the middle of such a small part of the whole. Each part of Snow Lake is redolent with warmth and firelight....very nice!
02/13/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by PassionateLover2
Does anyone like Ghirardelli?
love love love IT! I prefer the cocoa but I ALWAYS have a bag of the squares on my desk and this Month's selection is Dark Truffles
02/13/2012